


Post Mortem

by shokoshik



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-17
Updated: 2017-09-18
Packaged: 2018-12-30 20:16:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 85,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12116418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shokoshik/pseuds/shokoshik
Summary: Post Mortem – done, occurring or collected after death. Death, is by default a life altering experience. It touches you and changes you in ways you don’t understand, but it open doors, too. Sometimes in ways you can’t begin to understand and before long, you’re changed forever.





	1. Prologue

**A/N:** This fic was originally posted on fanfic.net a few years ago so I can't honestly say I remember much about it, but I figured it should be here as well. 

* * *

 

 

“So, will she do it?” Addison anxiously asked the woman on the other side of line.

“She’d be happy to,” the woman replied, none too happily.

It didn’t matter to Addison who sighed in relief. At least **something** was working out. One ray of light in the crap puddle called life.

* * *

“You sure you wanna do it?” Teddy asked her best friend.

“I already said that I would.”

“Yeah, but it’s not too late to back out,” teddy added, causing Arizona to look at her in shock.

“Back out? From the cancer lady? It’d probably be worse than if I said no to begin with.”

“Arizona, all I’m saying is… people will understand. They’ll forgive you.”

“Well, I won’t forgive me. And neither will the press, nor April.”

“If you’re doing it for the press…”

“I’m not,” Arizona cut her friend off before Teddy had a chance to finish the sentence.

“Arizona, this woman, she isn’t some kid.”

“So? Cancer is cancer, Teddy. It doesn’t matter if she’s not a kid. There’s a way for me to make things a little better for her. Who am I to say no?”

“All I’m saying is that if this was some Make-A-Wish Foundation thing, I’d feel better about it, but… “she paused, her voice clearly exasperated, “this stranger randomly called your manager and told you a tale. What if it’s all it is? A tale? Some attempt to get you alone somewhere.”

“You’re very cynical. I’m choosing to believe no one is cruel enough to make this kind of tale just to meet Arizona Robbins.”

“You’re giving the human race way too much credit,” Teddy said, knowing she lost the battle.

“We’ll see.”

* * *

“When do you want me to pick you up, Ms. Robbins?” her chauffer asked after they spent a few minutes parked by the hospital with Arizona staring quietly at the building.

“I’m not sure, Eduardo. It’ll take as long as it takes. I’ll be in touch,” she finally said, glaring at the man, already expecting the sentence to follow.

“Ms. Kepner told me to not let you stay there for more than an hour,” he explained, uncomfortable under her gaze.

“Ms. Kepner is more than welcome to come and drag me out of here by herself,” she snapped, and put on the customary sun glasses and hat before she aggressively shut the car door behind her.

Getting to the hospital in her town car was probably the worst thing a woman who wants to keep low key could do, but April demanded that the almighty Arizona Robbins, her favorite client, will not travel to a public place in a cab. God forbid.

When Arizona pointed out that it doesn’t matter how public the hospital was, because she had no intention of being seen, April didn’t seem to care.

People allowed themselves way too much when it came to her life these days. More often than not, they didn’t seem to care. And that didn’t mean they didn’t care about her in general, just that sometimes, she said “no” and somehow, it turned into a “yes.”

And then other times, she said “yes” and others would try and turn it into a “no.” Just like with today. If Arizona weren’t there when April got the call from one, Addison Montgomery, the best friend of an allegedly dying woman, Arizona might’ve not know about it at all and might’ve not been able to use her fame for some actual good, for once. Everyone’s opinions about what she had to do seemed to matter more than her own did these days.

April sure tried to sway her away from showing up at that hospital, as did Teddy, and maybe visiting a dying stranger was a bit of a rebellious act on the actress’ behalf, but knowing that someone whose days were numbered wanted to see her, above all else, made her feel wanted in a way that the people around her forgot how to make her feel a long time ago.

Arizona Robbins has become a brand. Everyone was obsessed with what she said, what she thought, what she **should** think. But that was just an image. And yes, the dying woman didn't know her, not really, but what she asked of her, or more accurately, what her best friend asked on her behalf, was still intimate.

Arizona missed intimate. She knew that she was also being selfish, but she felt that maybe, for a few moments, that she could have something real with this stranger. And because there was a time stamp involved, a dead line, no pun intended, what did she have to lose? She could say whatever she wanted, and in a week or two the only witness to her true self will be gone. Even if her true self was disappointing, the disappointed party would be gone.

She took a moment to lean on the building’s wall, and smoke a cigarette. She had to change the negative way in which she was thinking before she entered the hospital.

“Smoking a cigarette before visiting a lung cancer patient. That’s a new low, Robbins,” she told to herself yet kept smoking anyway. She was nervous. And she didn’t know why. Encounters with death around her weren’t new to her. Maybe **that** was why she was nervous.

She took a moment to think about her brother. The brother who wasn’t there when she won her Academy award five years ago. The brother who would’ve told her that she should take things easy and have fun.

“Once this stops being fun, Zona, you get out. You get out as fast as you can and never look back,” he told her after her first major role that came with a gazillion new fans, but also with unfavorable reviews and loss of privacy.

“It’s still fun, mostly,” she whispered, finishing her cigarette.

And every now and then, she got the chance to do something important. Like today. And that’s the state of mind that she wanted to be in when she met Callie Torres. Not the “what can I gain from this,” but “what can I give back.”

When you work in the entertainment industry, it’s so easy to think how to use a situation to your advantage. It’s almost like you’re programmed to do that. Arizona tried to stop for a breath every now and then, remember that she was a person before it all happened, before the so called “breakthrough”, and think what she could do to give back.

She carried the cigarette bud in her palm and threw it into a garbage can once she was in the lobby. Maybe she was famous, but she was still her father’s daughter, and she still had manners.

She looked around, searching for a tall redhead as she was instructed. Once she spotted a woman who fit that description, she approached her, hoping to not embarrass herself.

“Addison?” she asked hesitantly, surprising the other woman who jumped and examined Arizona.

“Hey, Arizona. Can I call you Arizona? You actually came,” Addison noted in disbelief.

“Of course I did. I said I would, didn’t I? And yes, you can call me Arizona. Last I checked that was my name,” she teased kindly, making Addison smile.

“You’re alone?” Addison asked, surprised, as she looked around in confusion.

“I am. Why, are you planning on taking me out?” Arizona asked with trepidation in her voice. Nervously biting on her lip she was starting to think that maybe Teddy’s concern was justified after all.

“That’s more of Callie’s style, if you know what I mean. But I’m afraid she’s too weak,” Addison replied with a sad smile.

“Let’s go see her, then,” Arizona offered, starting to feel her reservations return and trying to push through.

* * *

_What was I thinking? Who the hell am **I** to be a dying person’s last wish? I’m just famous, it doesn’t make me important._

“Callie is gonna flip!” Addison said excitedly, walking side by side with the actress, leading them to Callie’s room, completely ignorant to Arizona’s inner struggle.

“Wait, she doesn’t know I’m coming?”  Arizona stopped dead in her tracks, now more sure than ever that the visit was a mistake. Coming to see someone who asked for you as their dying wish is one thing, **assuming** someone wanted to see you as their dying wish… well, that’s just pure megalomania.

“No, she doesn’t, you’re a surprise. Thank you so much, by the way!”

“Wait, Addison, I wanna help, but… are you sure this is something that she’d want?” Arizona asked with uncertainty in her voice.

“Oh, trust me,” Addison said, linking their elbows.  “We joked about it a few weeks back. In a ‘no actual way this will happen’ kind of manner. But then she got all quiet and had that ‘I wish’ expression on her face.”

“’I wish’ Expression?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“Yeah. Ever since she got sick, she has that expression occasionally. Like ‘I wish I could do that, but…’”

“But what?”

“But I’m dying,” Addison explained sadly. “I wish I could get married, but I’m dying. I wish I could go walk on the Great Wall of China, but I’m dying. I wish I could actually meet Arizona Robbins, who I had a celebrity crush on for years, one day, but I’m dying.”

“Oh,” was all Arizona could say.

“Yeah.”

“So she got the ‘I wish’ expression when you talked about me?”

“She did. So your presence is very welcome,” Addison said softly, understanding the distress of the other woman. She’s seen how awkwardly people have been behaving around her best friend for the last few months. And those were people who actually knew Callie. Arizona was a stranger. A very famous one, but a stranger nonetheless.

Arizona nodded thoughtfully, but didn’t say anything.

“Okay, we’re here, you ready?” Addison asked softly.

“Yeah, yeah, I think so.”

“Stay behind me, let me give you a worthy intro,” Addison said with a smile.

“Please don’t,” Arizona begged, making Addison chuckle.

“I think I like you,” Addison said. “Don’t worry, nothing too over the top, just a bit of a build up,” she assured, and Arizona nodded, inhaling deeply.

“Okay. Here we go,” she said then stepped into Callie’s doorway. “Cal! I have returned baring gifts!”

“Addie! Where were you?! You’ve been gone forever and left me all alone. I’m dying, you know,” Callie teased dramatically, pouting and making Arizona, to her own surprise, laugh from her spot behind Addison’s back.

“You’re not alone?” Callie asked suddenly, self conscious of her current physical appearance. Addison was one thing, but strangers? She was thin, and pale, and tired, and dying.

“I am, as a matter of fact not alone, Callie. I have a surprise for you!” Addison announced excitedly, ignoring her friend’s discomfort. “Ta da!” she said, pulling Arizona from behind her and pushing her gently into the room.

Callie’s eyes grew in shock as she subconsciously pulled the blanket up to cover more of her frail body.

“Hi,” Arizona said quietly, offering Callie a soft smile. She didn’t know what to expect.  How do you behave around a person when you know this is the first and last time you’ll ever see them?

But Callie seemed to relax after witnessing the softness in Arizona’s voice and offered her a huge smile.

“Addison! What did we say about bringing pretty girls into this room when I look like crap?!” she teased.

“You don’t look like crap,” Arizona was quick to say, “I didn’t even expect you to have…” but she never finished the sentence, realizing the inappropriateness of her comment. Instead, she stood in front of Callie frozen, with expression of horror on her face.

Callie snorted, understanding exactly what was happening.

“You didn’t expect me to have what?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, “hair?” she offered, challenging the other woman.

Arizona's face got fifty shades of red as she appeared like she wanted the ground to swallow her.

“Well, I think everything is under control here. So I’m gonna leave you to it!” Addison said and bolted out of the room before Arizona had a chance to stop her, or Callie the chance to thank her.

And grateful she was. Because she was a fan of Arizona Robbins for years. The woman on more than one occasion being the subject of her fantasies. Not that she was going to mention that out loud. Dying or not dying.

Arizona swallowed and searched Callie’s eyes. The woman seemed tired, but there was still something there, a spark, and Arizona had a feeling she was about to become the prey of a very amused woman.

“Don’t feel bad,” Callie said softly, breaking Arizona’s inner struggle. “It surprises everyone, but… you know, there isn’t much to do anymore, so they let me keep it. I believe it’s called dying with some dignity,” Callie replied sadly.

“I’m really sorry. I didn’t even introduce myself, and the first thing that comes out of my mouth is…” Arizona groaned in embarrassment.

“Clearly, you don’t need to introduce yourself,” Callie offered with a smile and gestured the chair next to her bed. “Sit with me? Please?”

Arizona didn’t miss a beat before making a beeline to the chair.

“You’re kind of awkward, aren’t you?” Callie teased with an air of laughter to her voice.

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Arizona admitted, “and so far I’m failing.”

“It’s not really something you can win at,” Callie said softly.

“Stop trying to make me feel better,” Arizona smiled, “it’s supposed to be the other way around isn’t it?” she asked, making Callie smile as well.

“Well, your presence is very appreciated. How are you even here?”

“Addison called my manager,” Arizona shrugged.

“That simple, ah?”

“Hmm… yeah, that and…”

“The dying part,” Callie deadpanned. When Arizona said nothing she added “I’m sorry. I kinda enjoy seeing you squirm.”

“So that’s why I was called here, ah?”

“I believe you were called here because Addison knows I think you are ridiculously hot.”

“You sure are forward,” Arizona said, flushed yet trying to hide it.

“I’m dying. It’s almost like liquid courage, but the buzz isn’t as fun,” Callie explained.

Arizona finally took in the full sight that was Callie Torres, noticing how deeply brown Callie’s eyes actually were. She could guess the pale body was tan under normal circumstances. And the hair, yes, it was short, but it was dark as night. Callie was beautiful, Arizona suddenly realized. That is, in better days, Callie was probably a gorgeous woman.

“You’re very talkative for a dying person,” she finally said.

“Yes, because I’m dying, not dead just yet,” Callie teased.

“And putting a brave front,” Arizona noted, making Callie’s smile disappear.

“I learned that’s what people want to see,” she said quietly, somewhat deflated.

“And what do **you** want?” Arizona asked, not sure where her boldness came from, but figuring two could play this game.

“I want to rest,” Callie admitted. “It’s been a long, unfortunate ride.”

Arizona didn’t reply. _Well, I had to ask_.

“I’m just glad you came before I get my rest,” Callie added. “It’s a nice visual for the last leg of the journey.”

Arizona smiled sadly, and took Callie’s hand in hers, not sure why. The moment just seemed to have required some physical comfort.

“Tell me about your life, Callie.”

“Hmm, no. Tell me about yours.”

“Well, I think you know about my life,” Arizona defended.

“I think I know about a very selective version of your life,” Callie countered, making Arizona laugh at the truth of the words.

“Okay. What do you want to know? But you have to promise me the classified info doesn’t leave this room!” Arizona teased dramatically.

“I’m taking it to the grave,” Callie winked and Arizona slapped her arm, finally falling in line with the dark humor the other woman seemed to possess in abundance.

“You’re awful. But fine. You get five questions.”

“This isn’t a dating game, Arizona. You’re here granting my dying wish. The questioning will be over when I say it is,” Callie demanded teasingly.

“Can you, like, be at least a little bit star struck? It might make you behave,” Arizona teased right back.

“You need not know that I’m actually flailing inside. Instead, let me play it cool.”

“Fine, Calliope, whatever,” Arizona said and Callie’s eyes widened in shock.

“How the hell did you know that was my name?” Callie asked with an adorable pout.

“Addison mentioned it. Oh, now that I think about it, I believe her exact words were ‘and no matter what you do, don’t use her full name,’ then I asked what it was and she told me. Oops? World – 2, Robbins – 0,” Arizona rambled, shock covering her face.

Callie burst into laughter, unlinking their hands.

“What?” Arizona whined.

“Nothing, you’re just… you’re cute.”

“Aren’t you supposed to ask me questions?” Arizona said, trying to hide her blush.

“Okay, let’s see. I’m trying to recall all the things I always told myself I’ll ask the mighty Arizona Robbins if I ever met her, but of course, now I’m coming empty handed,” Callie chuckled, earning a smile from Arizona.

“My favorite color is purple,” Arizona offered, trying to help.

“Nope,” Callie said.

“Nope?”

“Nope.”

“Okay. Hmmm…  I like flower arrangements and cakes.”

“Oh, come on Arizona. This is boring,” Callie protested.

“Did you just call me boring?”

“No, of course not. And what you like **does** matter. But I want the juicy stuff.”

“Like what?” Arizona asked in dread.

“Like, do you have a girlfriend? Who’s your arch nemesis in the industry? Are you happy?” Callie spoke enthusiastically.

“Do you really want to know all that?” Arizona asked in astonishment.

“Of course! I think you’re amazing. You never hid who you were. Everyone always knew you were gay, you never tried to hide it and your career still exploded. It’s very admirable. **You** are very admirable,” Callie said, unknowingly making Arizona feel guilty about some of the authenticity she had lost.

“Come on,” Callie pleaded, “let me live vicariously through you.”

“You wouldn’t wanna have my life,” Arizona said quickly, without thinking.

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Callie said, making Arizona realize what she just did.

“World – 3, Robbins – 0,” Arizona said instead of apologizing, knowing by now that Callie wouldn’t want her to.

“So, you aren’t happy?” Callie asked sadly.

“I don’t have a girlfriend, no. I don’t have an arch nemesis because I mostly keep to myself, and I’m not… **un** happy.”

“Very convincing, Arizona,” Callie noted and made Arizona chuckle.

“It’s just… my brother told me to do this as long as it’s still fun. And it is. I love it. I love acting. But the rest… what comes with it, isn’t always fun.”

“Yeah, sometimes they even make you go to depressing hospitals and spend time with the less fortunate,” Callie added with a sarcastic tone.

“I told you, it’s the first time I do something like this. And no one made me come here. If anything, they tried to prevent me from doing it.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, maybe they knew how fun you’d be,” Arizona offered and winked, earning a bright smile that made her feel really good.

“But then why **did** you come here?” Callie asked curiously.

“I don’t know. Is that okay?” Arizona asked in concern.

“Yeah. Yeah it’s more than okay. Whatever brought you here, I’m glad I had this chance.”

“So am I,” Arizona admitted, taking Callie’s hand in hers again. _She really is beautiful, what a shame._

“So what **do** you do for fun?” Callie finally asked.

“I paint,” Arizona admitted.

“You do? Are you any good?”

“I’d like to think so.”

“Why have I never seen anything you have painted?”

 “It’s usually a form of therapy. It’s very private. Not many people know that I do it,” Arizona explained lost in thought.

“Do you have anything on your phone?” Callie asked, hopeful.

“Hmmm…”

“Oh, come on, Arizona, to the grave. Remember?” Callie prodded.

“Fine,” Arizona growled under her breath. “Everyone’s a critic.”

“What was that?” Callie teased.

“Nothing. You’re very manipulative, you know that?” Arizona asked and Callie pouted. With a sigh, Arizona took her phone out of her pocket and chose the relevant album, passing the device to Callie who started to flip between the photos immediately, voicing the occasional “ohhh,” and “wow.”

“Who is that?” she asked suddenly, showing a portrait of a young man to Arizona. “I guess I should’ve asked if you have a boyfriend instead, I just assumed…”

“That’s my brother Tim…”Arizona said, cutting Callie off. “He died.” She wasn’t sure what made her say these words, give away the information. Maybe because Callie opened up to her in the most vulnerable way earlier. Maybe because when she asked hard questions, Callie answered.

“What happened?” Callie asked, squeezing Arizona’s hand which she was surprised to find was still in hers.

“War. He was a marine,” Arizona supplied meekly.  “It’s not something people know, either.”

“I’m so sorry he died. Now I’m going to die, too. Valar Morghulis,” Callie said dramatically, hoping to lighten the mood and making Arizona groan.

“Please tell me you haven’t been walking around saying that to people.”

“I’m bedridden, so no, I haven’t been walking around saying it to people.”

“Good.”

“Mostly, I’ve been saying it to Addison. It drives her crazy.”

At the mention of Addison’s name, Arizona figured she might’ve overstayed her welcome.

“Am I keeping you?” she asked in worry. It’s been so long since she enjoyed a conversation so much, she didn’t want it to end, but she knew it had to, in more ways than one. How come this conversation, which brought up death so many times, was so easy? How come Callie now knew about her more than most people did?

“No. You’re fine. Addie can honestly use the break. She’s been here with me for weeks.”

“What about your parents?”

“Oh, my parents have loads of issues with good ole bisexual me.”

“Even with cancer ridden good ole bisexual you?” Arizona asked in shock, being dragged into Callie’s sarcastic humor, to the other woman’s delight.

“Yep.”

“I’m sorry,” Arizona said honestly. She got nothing but support from her family when she came out.

“Don’t be. They are old fashioned, and traditional, and anyways, it’s not your fault. Be sorry for that awful movie you did two years ago. That **was** your fault,” Callie said, making Arizona roar in laughter. She knew exactly which flop Callie was referring to.

“To be fair, it was the director’s and writer’s fault,” Arizona defended, “but I **am** the one who agreed to do it.”

“That’s what I’m saying!”

They sat like this for hours with Arizona ignoring her silent vibrating phone, and Callie ignoring Addison who occasionally walked in unnoticed by Arizona. Callie saw her though, and Addison knew Callie’s ignoring of her was Callie’s way of telling Addison to remove her presence for a while longer.

After a five hour long chat, a nurse finally came in to say that visiting hours were over. Both women were shocked at just how much time had passed. Resigned, and saddened, Arizona stood up, wondering what were the last words that she was going to say to the beautiful, funny, smart, direct and very much dying woman.

“Bye, Callie,” she finally blurted, realizing nothing will be good enough, “feel better,” she added, knowing that Callie won’t as a matter of fact, feel better. Callie knew it too.

“Thanks, and thank you for coming,” Callie said to the grateful Arizona. The woman who took time out of her busy life, to come and see a stranger. The woman who spent five hours talking to Callie freely about everything and anything.

Arizona turned away and walked out of the room, thinking about just that. About how personal were some of the things she shared with Callie.

Because Callie was supposed to die.

But she didn’t.


	2. Chapter 1

**_One Year Later…_ **

Arizona brushed a lock of hair away from her eyes and used her hand to wipe sweat from her forehead.

She surveyed her work with an easy smile.

“You again,” she said with fake surprise to the painting in front of her. A painting of Callie Torres.

The day they met, Arizona went home and drew the other woman from the fresh memory.

Ever since that day, she surprised herself by painting Callie on occasion. Not all the time, every other month or so. In her own little way, she thought she was making Callie eternal by doing that. She wanted to. She knew it wasn’t a healthy hobby, but Callie wasn’t the first dead person Arizona was obsessing with through her paintings. She couldn’t control it, either. Painting was the one thing in her life where Arizona didn’t have to think before expressing or to censor herself. Whatever needed to come out, found its way onto the canvas.  

_Callie would think I’m a creeper if she ever saw these portraits_ , she thought months ago, _lucky me that she’s dead, I guess._

In reality, there weren’t more than five paintings. It’s not that Callie haunted her. Arizona didn’t get to know Callie well enough, but Callie mattered. Maybe it was **because** Arizona didn’t get the chance to spend more time with someone whom she instantly liked or maybe it was the way Callie unintentionally reminded her for a second what is was like to be authentic again. It was a million little things, it was symbolic to Arizona in many ways. It was like a mantra of going back to how Arizona was before, and Arizona needed a face to go with that Mantra. And Callie’s face was pretty enough, to say the least.

Arizona almost felt like she needed to do something that would make Callie proud of her. Tim, too. Go back to the “fun.” Go back to the person who could voice her actual opinions out loud.

Trying to make Callie happy made no sense whatsoever, they were strangers, and they would remain that forever. And yet, every now and again when Arizona was struggling with a decision, she would ask herself what would Callie say. Maybe in a world where it was hard to find real, agenda-less connections, it was easier to be close to someone who was dead.

Arizona sighed and went into the bathroom to wash her hands. She had no doubt Callie had many faults that Arizona didn’t get to witness, but Arizona will always remember Callie as the laid back, humorous person that she met that day. The person Arizona could really easily open up to. A person who cared enough about Arizona, even if only for a moment in time, to ask her plain and simple if she was happy. Not only to ask her but also to care what the answer would be.

Arizona looked up at the mirror above the sink.

“ **Am** I Happy?”

She sure tried harder. Every day since she met Callie, she tried to find a bit of what she lost. But it was easier said than done when she wasn’t exactly sure how to make herself feel better, or pinpoint what it was exactly that she lost.

She **did** have the job of her dreams, after all. Just four months prior she wrapped a film that was the most satisfying project she had ever worked on.

But then when April called her to go through the details of a press tour for another film that was about to be released, Arizona groaned, hung up the phone, passed by one of Callie’s portraits on her way to bed, said “what do **you** know, anyways? You’re dead,” and fell asleep before 10 PM.

“Striving to be better, is what makes us better. Or some poetic shit,” she said to her own reflection and walked out of the bathroom.

She stood in front of her latest creation. Scrutinizing it with judgment, like she did with all of her artistic outlets.

“You’re fading away,” she said quietly, realizing that Callie’s features were way more general in this one. It didn’t do justice to the dead woman and Arizona knew immediately that she’ll have to get rid of it. Arizona Robbins was nothing short of a perfectionist, after all.

She sat in front of her laptop, went on Facebook, and hesitantly typed Callie’s name. She knew that even if Callie’s profile was private, which is something Arizona could absolutely understand, she should still be able to see her profile pictures.

Soon enough, Callie’s profile came up, private as Arizona assumed.

Arizona felt creepy as she looked at the photos, feeling like she was stalking a Dead Girl’s life. She **was**.

But she couldn’t help it. She felt connected to the other woman and she came to realize and accept that she always would. She didn’t want to let the image of Callie disappear from her memory completely.

The photos showed Arizona one of the prettiest people she’d ever seen. Not that she didn’t already know Callie was beautiful, but to see her healthy version, was mesmerizing, and sad.

“Only the good die young,” she said quietly as she reached back to the latest photo in the album. Arizona couldn’t help but stare at this version of Callie. With the longer hair, color in her cheeks, looking defiantly at the camera with that twinkle in her eye. The one Arizona saw remnants of when she met Callie. But the twinkle in the photo was different. Callie looked like someone who loved being alive, so unlike the woman who told her that she just wanted to rest.

Arizona wondered what was the occasion on which such a great photo was taken and her eyes found the upload date, which was 7 months after Arizona met her.

“They still update her page regularly, that’s odd, and creepy and sweet.” It made her realize just how long it’s been since she met Callie, and it hit her right then and there, that she was never notified when Callie passed away. What if she wanted to visit her grave? She wouldn’t even know where to go.

“Rude,” she said, voicing her thoughts. She realized she was hardly an acquaintance, but she still spent hours with Callie during her last days on earth. She took the time to come and meet a person and she figured it at least bought her the right to be notified when said person finally passed away.

“Hmmm…”

She took her phone out, saw that she had 12 missed calls from April and 2 from Teddy, and dialed her manager.

“Arizona, where have you been?! I’ve been trying to reach you for hours!” April whined. Her favorite client was proving to be a pain in the past few months.

“I’ve been busy,” Arizona replied non-commitingly. Her painting therapy was still not something that she discussed with anyone. Except for her dead muse, and Teddy, who occasionally came to visit and demanded explanations for the portraits.

“Well next time, call me back sooner,” April demanded. “After all, I’m the one who makes sure you **stay** busy.”

“I need you to find out something for me,” Arizona said, practically ignoring her manager’s spiel.

“So is this how it is? I try to reach you all day and you only call me back when you need something?”

“This is important, April,” Arizona argued.

“Fine, what is it,” April huffed, exasperated.

“I need you to get me the email of Addison Montgomery.”

“Who?” April asked in confusion.

“Addison? Remember her? She called you about a year ago? Her best friend had cancer and she wanted me to visit her?”

“Oh, right. Well, I’m not entirely sure how to find her. I mean I keep records, but that was a year ago and…”

“Please just do it, April. I’ll pay you over time.”

“I already work over time as it is and you never paid me extra before,” April noted.

“Well then I guess I’ll start,” Arizona said and finally smiled.

“Fine, I’ll go and look through a year of emails,” April gave in bitterly.

“Oh, just use keywords,” Arizona brushed her off condescendingly

“Sure, don’t trouble yourself at all!” April added in fake cheer. “I’m emailing you the contract for ‘Anecdote,’ please, for the love of god, read it soon and send it back signed.”

“I will, I promise. Bye April!”

“Wait, I’m not done talking about the…”

But Arizona hung up. This was one thing that she was getting better at, or at least trying to. Me-time meant me-time, and she couldn’t constantly do things to make others happy. She would never act in an unprofessional manner, and she heard April, there was a contract to sign, and Arizona was going to do that as soon as she received it. Which was a second later.

She sat and read it for another hour. She didn’t have to, she trusted April completely when it came to negotiating for her, but she liked to be in the loop. She wouldn’t be her control-freak-self if she hadn’t.

She was in bed reading a script for fifteen minutes, just about to turn off the light, when her phone vibrated signaling an incoming text.

**Addison’s email is in your inbox. Good night** , the text read.

“I really should pay her more,” Arizona thought out loud seeing that it was 1 AM. She smiled and decided to contact Addison and deal with the rest the following morning. It was about to be a rarely rainy day in the usually dry Los Angeles. Not a good day to go to the cemetery anyways.

* * *

 

**Dear Addison,**

**This is Arizona Robbins. Hmmm… I don’t really know how to say this, but…**

She hit backspace and tried again.

**Dear Addison,**

**Arizona Robbins here. The actress.**

“Oh, holly hell!” Arizona said, rolling her eyes at herself. _Why is this so hard?_

**Dear Addison,**

**I hope it’s okay I’m writing. This is Arizona Robbins. I guess… I guess ‘I’m sorry for your loss’**

**is in order. I apologize it took so long, but know that Callie has been in my thoughts. I’m**

**not sure how long it has been since she passed, but in my experience, doughnuts help**

**somewhat,  even a year later.**

_Do I sound totally stupid and callous?_

**I hope I’m not being presumptuous here, but I was thinking about going to visit Callie’s**

**grave. I know we only met once, but I really liked Callie and I’d be happy… I mean,**

**obviously not *happy* happy, but I’d like to pay my respects. So if it’s not too weird, and**

**you could tell me where she’s buried, assuming it’s even here in LA at all, I’d very much**

**appreciate it.**

**Thanks,**

**Arizona**

**P.S. – I’m sure there’s no need to say this, but I’d really appreciate if you didn’t share this**

**email address with anyone. Thanks!**

Arizona cringed as she wrote the last sentence. It wasn’t the nicest thing to say, especially not to a woman who lost her best friend, and especially since Arizona basically asked her to share personal information, but Arizona learned long ago that she had to protect herself. April offered to email on her behalf, but Arizona thought that the least she could do was to reach out in person.

Once the email was send, she got ready to head out to her meeting with April. She knew she owed April and planned on picking up her favorite lunch on the way to her office.

By the time she locked the door behind her and climbed into the town car, greeting Eduardo, a redheaded woman sat in front of her laptop in another part of town, with a smile on her face.

That day, at the hospital, she peeked on the two women often enough to see that there was something there. The anxious actor seemed very at ease around her dying best friend.

Addison would never dream on reaching out to Arizona again. She had issues with boundaries, but not in such an intrusive way and not when Arizona was as famous as she was. Addison had been waiting, hoping for something like this email, for a very long time.

“Took you long enough, superstar.”

* * *

 

Arizona left her meeting with mixed feelings. On the one hand, she gave her surprised manager a raise and was delighted to see that April was happy, but on the other, April set her a beauty shoot that was sure to pay very well, but Arizona wasn’t in the mood of being told what to wear and how to stand. She very rarely enjoyed these shoots. The photographers were very talented, the designers were original and intriguing and the hair and makeup artists made her look flawless, but it was far from her favorite thing to do with her time.

She stopped on the way to the car to get a coffee and saw her cup had heart and a guy’s phone number on it. She groaned quietly but smiled politely at the male barista who winked at her and went back to work.

“No rest for the wicked,” she said and crossed the street to the nice park, finally sitting down and checking her phone. She texted Eduardo quickly telling him she’s taking a little break and then she opened her inbox.

She quickly skimmed through a few emails before she saw that she received a reply from Addison. She gasped and nearly spilled hot coffee all over herself.

“Why the hell am I so nervous?” she wondered as she opened the email.

**Arizona,**

**It’s really nice to hear from you, and it’s totally okay and lovely that you care enough to**

**reach out. Thanks for the doughnut tip, I’ll have to remember that one.**

“Well, we’re off to a good start,” Arizona relaxed somewhat.

**I’m sorry that I’m going to have to disappoint you,**

“Uh oh,” Arizona’s body tensed.

**but Callie isn’t dead.**

“Wait, what?!” Arizona stared at the phone dumbfounded, rubbing her eyes to make sure she was reading correctly.

**I’m not going to get into details because it’s not really my place, but she’s alive, and well,**

**just as annoying as always and figuring herself out.**

Arizona read the sentence over and over again, not entirely sure how to feel. She was relieved, and mad, and curious and worried all at the same time. She was also not convinced that she wasn’t being pranked.

**I’m sorry no one told you sooner, had I known it would matter, I would’ve let you know.**

“Why do people keep thinking I don’t care?!” she raised her voice angrily completely forgetting she was in public. “I’m famous, not inhuman!” she was now more upset than anything else.

**If you need anything, feel free to text me if you want an immediate answer. I promise not**

**to forward the number to anyone ;)**

Arizona could do nothing but groan at the cheeky comment. First, Addison doesn’t tell her Callie was alive, then she mocks her.

**My number is below. Feel free to text me anytime.**

**X**

**Addison**

Arizona stared at the email, not sure what to do. Then, it hit her, somewhere out there, Callie Torres, the beautiful, easy going, brave woman that she met, was still alive. The thought made a warm feeling spread in Arizona’s body.

“She’s alive,” Arizona said with a smile. “She’s alive and she didn’t tell me!” she suddenly realized, hurt. They weren’t friends, Callie had no obligations to her, but Arizona thought they shared enough in hours of conversation for Callie to at least let her know she was indeed, still among the living.

_I guess she didn’t really see me after all as well. But we shared so much…_ she thought and then fearfully realized, _we shared a lot. I told her things no one knows._

“Crap.”

She took her phone out and texted the number Addison gave her.

**Hey Addison! This is Arizona. I guess I need to say something like ‘I’m glad your best friend isn’t dead?” this whole thing is very weird. Mind telling me where I can find her?**

Arizona hit send. She was pissed at Addison, and she was hurt, but she had no business fighting with her over texts. She had way bigger fish to fry.

**Hey Arizona! Glad my email reached you okay, and yes, I too am glad that my best friend didn’t die. Thanks! I’m afraid Callie is not around. She’s in New York.**

“New York?” Arizona squeaked in surprise. But she realized she shouldn’t have been because she hardly knew Callie. She visited her at a hospital in Los Angeles, so she just naturally assumed that’s where Callie’s home base was located.

_Why is reaching a living Dead Girl so complicated?_

**What do you mean she’s in New York?!**

Arizona was getting more and more annoyed. She started this day emailing Addison, hoping to go to a grave and pay her respects, and instead, she found out that someone who knows a lot about her, someone who she felt really comfortable with, someone who was by all accounts supposed to be dead, was walking around the streets of New York, knowing way too much about her personal life. Her phone buzzed just when she recalled that that someone was also ridiculously beautiful.

**She wanted to start over in the big city. The whole thing is very Thoroughly Modern Millie if you ask me.**

**It’s Kimmy Schmidt these days** , Arizona responded.

**I knew I liked you,** came the response which made Arizona smile, to her own displeasure.

“Always the people pleaser,” she said and texted back.

**While I do appreciate the sentiment, would you mind giving me her address?**

**You’re not just gonna show up there, are you?** Addison asked. Arizona had no idea that the other woman was smirking.

**Of course not, I’ll send her a letter or some ‘glad you’re not dead’ bouquet** , Arizona lied.

**That’s original, I suppose. I’ll allow it.**

“Gee, thanks.”  Before she had a chance to reply Addison texted again with Callie’s address.

Arizona smiled widely and didn’t miss a beat before she called April. She could’ve walk back to her office, but bad news were more easily delivered this way.

“Hey!” April said happily.

“Hi, I’m going to New York tonight, be back the day after tomorrow!” This wasn't about how beautiful Callie was but solely about self preservation of personal knowledge. Or that was what Arizona kept telling herself.

“Wait, what? You have a meeting tomorrow!” April reminded In horror.

“Push it to when I’m back! Bye!” she said and hung up.

_Okay, that wasn’t exactly professional, but I just gave her a raise. She’ll deal._

Arizona could do this, needed to do this. She could take care of this problem and also be spontaneous and adventurous and…fun. After all, that’s what she assumed Callie would want her to do. But Callie couldn’t be the face of her mantra anymore. Because Callie wasn’t dead. It hit Arizona once again, and she couldn’t help but smile like someone who just got back something very important that they’d lost.

_She’s alive,_ she thought in pleasure, then a grimace found its way to her face, _I’m going to kill her!_


	3. Chapter 2

Arizona was leaning on the building front, smoking a cigarette and recalling a similar situation from just a year ago. Then as well as now, she had to calm her nerves. She wasn’t a heavy smoker, but sometimes she needed it.

 _I wonder what Callie would say if she finds out I’m a smoker._ For all she knew, Callie could be one, too.

 _Then again, lung cancer survivor, so probably not_. She took another puff, and let it out.

 _It doesn’t matter what stupid Callie would think, because stupid Callie is alive. Martyr status revoked!_ she thought, a cute scowl adorning her face

She didn’t want to buzz Callie’s apartment. She knew she wouldn’t know what to say. She thought about buzzing someone else just to gain access to the building, but she not too secretly hoped that by the time she was done with her cigarette, someone would come in or out and will reward her with a stealthy entrance.

Luck was on her side when a tall, handsome man came on the path leading to the entrance. He eyed her suspiciously, in recognition, she assumed as she blew her cigarette out. He held the entrance door for her.

“Thanks,” she said as she walked in.

“Don’t mention it,” the man answered flirtatiously, making her shudder.  She smiled at him politely and without any additional words, started to climb the stairs.

“There’s an elevator, you know,” he called after her.

“I like the practice!” she yelled over her shoulder. She was **not** going to take the elevator with the flirtatious man even if she had to climb six flights of stairs. And so she did.

“Stupid fame,” she said when she reached the top, trying to catch her breath, hands on her knees as she bent forward. “Always getting in the way.”

She took a few additional moments to gather her composure before she finally assumed she looked presentable enough and pressed the doorbell. She waited a moment, and another before she buzzed again, but after her third try it was evident that no one was home.

“Well, that’s anticlimactic,” she thought in bitterness and sat on the floor, leaning her back on the wall wondering what to do.

“The glamorous Arizona Robbins, wiping the floor of a New York apartment building with her very own ass,” she mocked and sighed.

“Why are you making this so hard, Dead Girl? Am I just supposed to sit here and wait?”

_Maybe I should practice **not** calling her Dead Girl because I’m not sure how much she’d appreciate it when I finally do see her._

After about fifteen minutes of sitting and pondering her next step, she stood up and decided to practice her speech, quietly, in her head. Memorizing text was easy, reciting three minutes long monologues was piece of cake, but this was something else all together.

She finally leaned on the wall again, staring at the air wondering if forty minutes was officially too long to wait when it comes to unannounced drop ins. Suddenly she heard the elevator stopping at the floor and moments later, Callie walked around the corner, carrying groceries and making Arizona’s eyes wide in shock. She was frozen and completely forgot all of what she was supposed to say. Beautiful dark brown eyes seemed to pierce right through her, and finally widened in shock as well.

Callie stared at her in confusion for a few moments before she spoke. “Arizona?” A second later a bright smile appeared on her face. “Wow. There’s a face I never thought I’d see again.”

Instinctively without a second thought, Arizona replied, “Look who’s talking!” making Callie burst into laughter.

“Touché,” the taller woman laughed, “what are you doing here?! Not that it’s not a nice sight,” she added, making Arizona blush.

“Well, you lived! You ended up not dying and you didn’t tell me! That’s not the nicest thing ever, Callie,” Arizona announced in all seriousness.

Callie looked at her surprised before she finally cleared her throat. “What was I supposed to say?! Hey, super busy famous lady! Remember me, from the cancer? Well, in case it matters, I know I said I was dying but turns out I’m still here!” Callie responded in frustration.

“Well, yeah, something along these lines would have sufficed!” Arizona argued. They stared at each other for a few moments before they both burst into laughter.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Arizona admitted softly, genuinely as she was locking eyes with Callie.

“I’m glad I’m okay, too. And I’m glad that you’re glad.”

“Well, I’m glad that you’re glad that I’m glad,” Arizona said with a smile.

“This is getting silly. Wanna come in? Maybe not talk while standing in a hallway?” Callie offered.

“Sure, hmm… Can I… can I just give you a hug first?” Arizona asked cautiously, needing the physical confirmation

“Of course,” Callie answered warmly and awkwardly let the shorter woman hug her, all the while still holding the grocery bags.

Arizona felt really nice in her arms and it was confusing because the fact that Arizona was attractive aside, when they met for the first time, Callie thought Arizona was lovely. She wasn’t entirely a stranger anymore. And now she was here, and soft, and very-very famous. It was all very weird.

Arizona was thinking something similar when she suddenly realized the hands around her back had the added weight of grocery bags.

“Jeez, you’ve been holding these bags the whole time! I’m so stupid sometimes,” Arizona said, cutting Callie’s trail of thoughts. “Here, let me help you with that,” Arizona added and took one of the bags from Callie’s hands without waiting for permission.

Callie chuckled lightly at the adorable behavior of the other woman before finally unlocking her door and gesturing Arizona to come in.

Arizona stood stiff in the living room, trying to not look around too much. Callie was polite in inviting her in, but she was still a surprise guest and she didn’t want to assume that she was entitled to observe. A person’s home was their sanctuary.

“What are you doing?” Callie wondered in confusion.

“Hmmm… nothing?” Arizona replied innocently, but Callie seemed to understand what was happening.

“You can look around, Arizona, it’s okay. You’re a welcome guest, I promise. You’re being way too polite,” she teased softly, and Arizona sighed in relief.

“I just know what it’s like when people assume that they can peek into your life,” Arizona explained quietly.

“I understand,” Callie assured, “well, obviously, not really, but I can imagine. I hereby give you permission to snoop,” Callie said and winked, grabbing the other bag from Arizona’s hand and going to the kitchen to drop the bags on the counter.

With permission granted, Arizona finally looked around guilt-free with Callie joining her a moment later, quietly waiting for the verdict.

Callie’s apartment was small but cozy, and very well equipped. Art on the walls, a huge TV screen, an overflowing bookcase, and that’s just from what Arizona could see in the living room.  Also there were two sofas that looked extremely comfy.

“Wow, not exactly what I expected,” Arizona finally admitted making Callie chuckle in response.

“Yeah, well, my parents felt very guilty after the whole nearly dying thing and reinstated my trust fund,” she shrugged, not giving away her feelings about the notion.

“Wait, you have a trust fund? No, wait, you actually took the money!” At that moment Arizona was reminded of how little she actually knew about Callie yet she also understood she was currently being granted the privilege of getting to know more.

“I didn’t want to, at first, but then I was like ‘oh, hey, rent, I have no idea how to pay you,’ so, yeah,” Callie explained bitterly.

“This seems like a little bit more than rent money,” Arizona pointed out with a raised eyebrow.

“Wait ‘till you see the bedroom,” Callie teased, making Arizona blush. “Anyways, fuck it, I deserve pretty things. I deserve **all** the pretty things, because I was dying,” Callie reasoned.

“Yes, you do,” Arizona agreed with a smile. Looking around once more, she processed what she was seeing. “So they actually came around.”

“Oh, if only it was that simple with my parents. No. They stopped by, they said that me getting cancer surely shows me the error of my sexual ways, what with God giving me cancer and all. Then, of course, I pointed that I **survived** said cancer, against all odds, at the home stretch. As if God was saying – you had hurdles and you overcame them, now live! That got them quiet for a few moments, and they vanished for a few weeks. I thought that was that but then when I finally heard from them again it was to learn that they reinstated my funds.”

Arizona nodded. “I never had that whole thing with my parents," she said. “You know, the ‘I'll kick you out of my house’ thing. They sort of always knew. And yeah, it was hard, you know, saying the actual words out loud, but there was never some big drama around it."

Callie nodded in sad understanding which made Arizona add immediately “I’m not saying that to make you feel bad! I just… I wanted you to know that about me, because you told me your story, you know?”

Callie nodded with a chuckle. “Funny thing is… I already knew that about you.”

“Oh, right, dumb. Of course you did,” Arizona said in frustration. So many times she told that very story in interviews. It was frustrating to feel like you can’t tell people new things about you when you were in the stage of getting to know each other better. But Callie didn’t seem fazed, she just offered Arizona a warm smile and gestured her to sit.

Each claimed a different couch, then, once seated, Callie stared at Arizona for a few moments, making the other woman feel uncomfortable under the scrutinizing glance.

“What?” Arizona finally asked, breathing heavily.

“It’s just weird. **The** Arizona Robbins in my apartment.”

“Why? I wasn’t **the** Arizona Robbins when I visited you at the hospital.”

“Yes, you were. I just didn’t mind consequences whatsoever because I was dying. And that’s a good thing. Not… not the me dying part. The you being you part,” Callie explained, rambling cutely.

Arizona smiled brightly, thinking it was a good idea to come after all.

* * *

 

It was two hours later and both women were tipsy.

“If we’re celebrating, which we clearly are, wine needs to be drank!” Callie declared a while before,”and if we’re drinking wine, it’s gonna be the fancy kind, courtesy of my somewhat still homophobic parents!”

“Yay!” Arizona cheered in agreement. Then she realized she didn’t know Callie well enough to drink with her, to show her the inhibitions-free version of herself.  But it was too late. Callie came back into the room with two glasses, a bottle of red, and such a huge smile on her face that Arizona didn’t have the heart to deny her. That’s how they found themselves in their current situation.

“Oh, yes,” Callie sighed in joy.  “I don’t get to do this very often anymore,” she admitted sadly.

Arizona was just about to take another sip but stopped with glass midway in the air, Callie’s words sinking in.

“Crap! I didn’t even… are you supposed to be drinking at all?” she asked in concern.

“I can do about a drink a day. Which I never do, honestly. It’s been so long since my heavy drinking days, that I became a total lightweight.”

“Are you telling me that I’m on my third and you managed to trick me and only drink one this whole time?” Arizona asked in disbelief.

“Small sips, baby. It’s an art,” Callie explained and Arizona put her glass down.

“No more for me, then,” she announced.

“Oh, come on, Arizona, don’t stop for my sake. I want you to have a good time,” Callie tried.

“I **am** having a good time. Present company is very nice,” Arizona flirted, with the support of some liquid courage.

“Thanks,” Callie whispered with a shy smile, a kind that Arizona hasn’t seen before from the bold woman.

They stared at each other for a few moments until Arizona looked away and cleared her throat.

“So,” she started, “what do you do all day anyways?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Well... I wake up, go to the park, grab a coffee on the way, do some people watching, read a book, and come home to watch TV.”

“It sounds really boring, Callie,” Arizona scowled in worry.

“Not boring, relaxing,” Callie corrected her with confidence in her voice. “You learn to appreciate the little things, you know?”

“Okay, but what about Carpe Diem? Aren’t you supposed to grab life by the horns and dare more or something?”

“Yeah, it’s a very nice thought, Arizona, but in truth, no one can be all carpe all the time. Not as long as you care about other people, and maybe maintaining your new restored health.”

“You are right,” Arizona admitted then added quietly “you’re always right.”

“Don’t worry about me, Arizona. I’m happy. I love my little routine. It helps me clear my mind, brainstorm, think what’s next,” Callie offered.

“That **does** sound nice. I’m glad you’re happy,” she looked away sadly, lost in thought.

“Arizona, I’m fine, really. You don’t need to worry,” Callie promised.

“No, no, I know, it’s… it’s not about that.”

“Wait,” Callie said in sudden realization, “so you’re still not happy?  Not ‘having fun’ like your brother called it?” her voice gave away her genuine concern.

“You… you remember that?” Arizona responded in surprise, and a bit of worry. She wasn’t sure she was happy Callie remembered something so personal.

“I’m a very good listener. And if you’re not happy, then just quit, dammit! Carpe Diem, Arizona!” she added a wink for good measure, making Arizona giggle.

“Where you always this annoying and I just didn’t notice because you were dying?” Arizona teased.

“Yes,” Callie deadpanned, making them both smile.

“Let’s not talk about work, okay? You’re my selfish escapism,” Arizona said.

“Well, at least you admit it,” Callie teased with no trace of accusation in her tone.

“Can I ask you something personal, Callie? You don’t have to answer,” Arizona inquired hesitantly.

“Okay?” Callie replied in intrigue, curious what got the actress all doubtful.

“How come you’re still here?”

“Ah, yes, the million dollar question,” Callie said happily, letting Arizona know the question wasn’t upsetting her. “I applied for this experimental clinical trial, months before we met. I never told anyone that I did.”

“Why not?”

“I didn’t want them to hope in vein. Really, Arizona, acceptance is so hard in these situations. I’m sure you understand… you know, with your…”

“Brother,” Arizona supplied immediately. She **did** understand. Callie simply nodded.

“You know, my friends were always optimistic, always hopeful, even when I wasn’t anymore,” Callie smiled sadly. “I never thought I'd get into that trial. I didn't want to get their hopes up even more. We finally started to accept what was coming,” she admitted as her face contorted in pain at the memory. “I couldn't put them through false hope again.”

“It sounds really lonely, Callie. I’m sorry,” Arizona commented genuinely.

“It was. But I think you know something about that too, don’t you?” Callie spoke with a mix of sadness and mutual understanding in her voice.

“I do. But it’s not the same.”

“Circumstances singled us both out and made us lonely. It’s more similar than you think,” Callie replied seriously.

“Callie, I’m not gonna let you compare your cancer to my career which makes me millions a year,” Arizona smiled sadly.

“I’m just saying that lonely is lonely, Arizona.”

Arizona searched Callie’s face, and eventually nodded in agreement.

“So they chose you for the clinical trial I’m guessing?”

“They did,” Callie’s face broke out into a smile at the memory of her getting that life saving call. “Their timing was insane. It was about two weeks after you came. I probably had about two more weeks in me, if I’m honest. I think they waited for me to get worse. It fit their needed criteria better.”

“How… convenient?” Arizona offered and Callie snorted.

“Or something. They got to me just in time to start treatments that first slowed my dying process down, then eventually, put the cancer in remission. I was there for five and a half months. It still blows my mind. And I still go for checkups, but you know, I’m here. I get to have my so-called boring routine a whole year after I thought I’d be gone,” Callie said, a huge infectious smile adorning her face.

“Yes, you are. It’s sort of a miracle,” Arizona face spread into a wide grin, her smile now mirroring the large and carefree one Callie was sporting.

There was more intense gazing following that.

“After what felt like centuries of intense shared gaze, Arizona asked the natural follow up question.”But what did they actually do?”

“Something about stem cells,” Callie shrugged.

“It always seems to be about stem cells these days, isn’t it?”

“It really does. They are good cells, the stem cells,” Callie joked causing them both to break out in laughter. “But seriously,” Callie explained, “something about rejuvenation of stem cells, using healthy ones. I’m really not big on the whole science front. All I cared about was that I wasn’t dying anymore. Not immediately, anyways.”

Arizona was still smiling, when all of a sudden the smile disappeared as she realized just how close Callie was to actually dying. Arizona was having such a lovely day in the presence of the other woman and it made her feel overcome with sadness thinking about what might have been.

“Why do you look so disappointed?” Callie teased. “You **did** tell me to ‘feel better’ last time you saw me, after all.”

“Yeah, but I didn’t really mean it. I mean…” Arizona looked at Callie in horror realizing what she just said. Callie’s expression was mostly challenging and somewhat amused. “God, of course I meant it! I just didn’t think it mattered whether I meant it or not.”

“Neither did I,” Callie admitted reaching out to put a comforting hand on Arizona’s. With Arizona’s warm skin touching her own, Callie was quickly brought back into reality as she immediately realized what she did and took her hand away, making both of them miss the contact.

“Anyways,” Callie deflected, “how come **you** are here? Aren’t you super busy?”

“Well, I did have a meeting tomorrow,” Arizona admitted, surprising herself, “but I postponed it,“ she shrugged as if her canceling a meeting, flying across the country, showing up unannounced, and pretty much stalking Callie, was no big deal.

“Arizona Robins! Is that a proper to behave?”

“What? I thought you’d appreciate me trying to have some fun!”

“Fun, yes. But what about responsibility? What would your fans say, Arizona?” Callie spoke in a mocking voice unaware that Arizona used to ask herself a similar question for months - what would Callie say?

“I don’t know, Callie. What **would** you say?”

“Oh, I see how it is. No comment, is what **this** fan would say.” They both smiled in ease, and Arizona’s eyes momentarily found her own bag, reminding her of a certain thing she’d done on the flight over. She grabbed her bag and sat back down.

“Here.  I… I made this for you,” she blushed and handed Callie a sketch, before she had a chance to regret it.

“You drew me?”  Callie asked in surprise, not letting on how she actually felt about the gesture.

“You seemed interested in my paintings when I saw you at the hospital. This is technically a sketch but I just scribbled something on the flight here.” She could feel the blush spreading further on her skin, up her neck and clear into her cheeks.

_This was a bad idea._

“It’s… It’s really beautiful, Arizona. Thank you,” Callie said quietly, “all of this from memory?”

“Hmm… yes,” Arizona lied. No need to tell the beautiful woman in front of her that she went through her Facebook when she thought Callie was dead. Arizona was doing a good enough job at embarrassing herself numerous times so far.

_You put me on TV, and I’m slick and eloquent. Put me in front of a pretty girl, though…_

“Well, it’s beautiful, thank you. How was the flight, by the way?” Callie asked, noticing Arizona’s discomfort and changing the subject.

“It was okay, I had to travel coach and that’s really not great when you’re a recognizable person,” Arizona commented without thinking.

“Why did you have to?” Callie asked in confusion, making Arizona realize she basically confessed to something a bit extreme.

“I just… I found out about you yesterday and I wanted to get here as soon as possible.”

“Oh, so you didn’t **have** to. You **chose** too,” Callie smiled softly, trying to quiet the feeling that something was happening right then and there.

“I guess I did. I just needed to see you. Is that okay?” Arizona asked hesitantly, noticing a weird expression appearing on Callie’s face.

“Yeah, it’s… it’s okay, it’s just…” she paused unsure how to put her thoughts to words and feeling absolutely confused.

“What?” she asked, trying to urge the other woman to continue.

“Nothing, never mind,” Callie deflected with a smile.

Arizona could feel the disappointment wash over her.

 _Why is she not saying what she thinks, like she seemed to constantly do? What changed?_ Arizona wondered. _She’s not dying anymore, you moron, words have consequences now_ , she then realized sadly.

She was starting to feel suffocated. It was her cue to go.

“Here,” Arizona said, and took out a pen and a piece of paper from her bag. She scribbled something on it and handed it to Callie.

“This is my email. Keep in touch, okay?” she smiled hopeful.

Callie took the paper. “Wait, are you going?” She asked in what Arizona hoped was disappointment.

“Yeah, yeah, I have a few errands to run,” Arizona lied, and even if Callie realized that was the case, considering Arizona didn’t plan on the trip, she didn’t let it show.

“Okay, well,” Callie's voice was now full of melancholy as she stood up, “let me walk you out.”

They walked out into the hallway.

“So…” Arizona started.

“So…” Callie played along.

“You **will** keep in touch, right?” Arizona nearly pleaded.

“Yes. Thank you so much for coming, it was really lovely,” Callie admitted with a goofy grin pasted on her face.

“It was. Not **entirely** weird.”

“No, not entirely,” Callie agreed.

 Arizona leaned in awkwardly to hug Callie again. “Okay, bye then,” she said.

“Bye,” Callie replied, and walked back into her apartment.

Arizona took the elevator this time. When she came out of the building, the man from earlier came in again, giving her another flirty smile.  She rolled her eyes, and walked to the street to get a cab to her hotel.

It wasn’t until a couple of hours later, when she was in the shower, going through the day’s events in her head, when it hit her.

_I didn’t tell her anything regarding not talking about my personal shit with anyone._

She sighed.

“I guess I’ll just have to remind her next time.”


	4. Chapter 3

**_One Month Later…_ **

It was another morning, of another day, and like all mornings of all days, Arizona climbed out of bed, walked into the kitchen, made coffee and then, and **only** then, she looked at her phone to see the massive amount of emails requiring her attention.

But unlike all mornings, this morning was different, yet similar to all mornings of the previous month.

She woke up, climbed out of bed, walked into the kitchen, made coffee and then, and **only** then, she looked at her phone to see the massive amount of emails requiring her attention, before groaning in disappointed and frustration.

“Damn you, Dead Girl!” she exclaimed. “I’m hot, and smart, and I can be fun, hypothetically.”

_Why won’t you just send me a freaking email, Callie?_

She wasn’t exactly mad. That wasn’t it. She was hurt and that realization irritated her to the point where she was mad after all. People wanted to be around her all the time, but those people didn’t know her. Callie was different. Callie **did** know her, or was starting to. It seemed that Callie was given the choice to have Arizona around, and chose not to.

_So that’s what happens when you let someone actually see you? They run to the hills?_

Though it made her feel pathetic, Arizona couldn’t help but feeling a little bit heartbroken.

It didn’t take her too many days of staring at her phone longingly, at least every ten minutes to realize – she had a crush on Callie Torres. She spent way more days trying to convince herself the opposite, but it didn’t help. **She** couldn’t help it.

For so long, Callie was just a concept and a dead one at that. The kind that even if you’re infatuated with, you could never act upon. The dead things were muses, and anecdotes, and memories. Unlike the living things, they were entitled to be. That’s all they were, though.

But Callie was real now, and just plain rude. Because she still inspired Arizona like a muse should, she made her laugh at silly anecdotes, and Arizona couldn’t help but remember everything Callie said. Callie was a whole world now.  Arizona spent time with her again and even though some things had changed like Callie was more guarded at times, seeing the woman again now healthy, beautiful, funny, smart, and kind, validated for Arizona something that she couldn't accept earlier in order to protect her own heart from an impossible situation. She had a thing for Callie.

And **since** she had a thing for Callie, and gave her her email, and said “use it” and Callie said fine but never did, Arizona, the famous Arizona whom everyone wanted to be around except the girl that **she** wanted to be around, couldn’t help but feel like a rejected high school girl.

Arizona went to New York to see Callie. She told herself she needed to worry about what Callie would do with all the information she had about her, but she had to be honest with herself. She was never actually truly worried. Callie walked around, capable of exploitation for a whole year, and never did a thing.

 _Unless she conspired this whole time._ Arizona thought one day. _She knew that I’d be curious, find out she’s not dead, show up unannounced at her doorstep and basically try to become a part of her life and give her even more valuable information. Yeah… Somehow that doesn’t seem reasonable._

But Callie never did anything with all the information she had, and Arizona knew she never would. It made her like Callie all that much more, and that **irritated** her even more. There she was, capable of saying “that’s so Callie” and know that she was right. She didn’t want to be right about Callie. She didn’t want to be infatuated with a girl who broke the three days rule by 35 days. Heartbreak and hurt were no fun. So truly, she had no choice **but** irritation.

Being irritated with annoying paparazzi or intrusive interviewers was one thing, and required a certain code of behavior, but when Arizona Robbins was irritated with someone in her personal life, she always let them know. And Callie Torres just got personal.

* * *

Callie looked at the piece of paper Arizona gave her, wondering whether to email or not. It felt like that’s what she’s been doing for the majority of the last month. It **was**.

She got up every morning and looked at the paper. She drank her coffee staring at the paper which was sitting on the counter. She went out, paper in pocket, sat on her favorite bench, stared at people, then took the paper out and stared at it. She read a book and used the paper as her book mark. She got home, sat down to watch TV, and put the paper on the table, glancing at it during commercial breaks.

Today was no different.

She groaned and leaned back on the sofa, looking up to stare at the ceiling.

_I actually have Arizona freaking Robbins’ direct contact information. **She** gave it to me. People would kill for this stupid piece of paper and use it without missing a beat. Why can’t I just send her a stupid email?_

She couldn’t help but laugh at the whole situation.

“Who even uses pieces of paper anymore?” she murmured quietly to herself. “Arizona Robbins, that’s who.”

For so long, Arizona was just a concept in Callie’s mind. Seeing her right before her pending doom didn’t change that because much of what happened back then seemed like a dream. And when she got better she was so busy with the whole… getting better thing, she only thought about Arizona on occasion like seeing her on TV, thinking happily “I actually met this girl.” But Callie never actively thought about Arizona, nor did she think Arizona ever paid a second thought to her. Yet Arizona just seemed to sneak into her subconscious every now and then, paying a visit.

Now, though, Callie knew Arizona.  They met a couple of times, they communicated and communicated well and Callie couldn’t help but realize that she had a crush on the beautiful actress. She was quirky, and awkward, stubborn, and honest, a little bit crazy and oh, so easy on the eyes.

“Fuck me,” she said and groaned, feeling like a cliché.  “That’s all it is though. A crush… a harmless celebrity crush.”

But she could’ve sworn she got some vibes from the other woman. Some flirty, interested vibes.

“Listen to yourself, Callie. You’re actually thinking that a super polite A-lister is interested in you. Maybe you have a brain tumor now.”

But if Arizona used to only sneak on her by surprise, she was now everywhere, in the front and center of Callie’s thoughts, taunting Callie with a piece of paper.

_What’s the worst that can happen? She won’t reply because she was just being nice, and then you’ll be rejected like the rest of the naïve fans who hit on the hottest woman alive._

The thought made her shudder. She hated feeling ordinary, nowadays more than ever.

_No. You’re not like everyone else. You beat cancer. You’re Callie Torres, and you’re not gonna be rejected in this lifetime ever again!_

“And the best way to make sure of that, is if you don’t do anything,” she sighed in defeat.

She looked at the paper one last time before she folded it and put it right back in her pocket. She sighed heavily and shut her eyes.

“Maybe tomorrow,” she told herself in her human created darkness.

* * *

Callie walked off the elevator and tried to navigate getting her keys out of her pocket with her groceries filled hands.

“You didn’t keep in touch!” she suddenly heard, dropping every single thing she was holding onto the floor.

“Holly shit, Arizona!” she screamed, hand on her heart, as she was trying to catch her breath. “Are you trying to give me a heart attack? I had cancer, you know,” she breathed heavily but still managed a welcoming smile towards the other woman.

_Always full of surprises, super star._

“What the hell are you doing here?” she finally managed to ask, feeling her heart rate slowly returning to normal.

“Do you always carry groceries?” Arizona deflected.

“Do you always lurk around people’s apartments and scare the shit out of them?” Callie countered, making Arizona groan.

“Was I only good enough when you were dying?” she asked in hurt.

“What? No! Why would you even say something like that?!” Callie asked in horror.

“Because I visit you at the hospital and we really connect, and then you don’t even bother to tell me that you’re alive. And then I visit you here and we still seem to get along really well, but then you say you’ll stay in touch and you don’t. So, I’m asking you, was I only good enough when you were dying?”

“Arizona, you’re a crazy person, you know that?” Callie said softly. When she saw Arizona’s posture deflate, she immediately added “and no, to answer your very misguided question. Can we continue this conversation inside?”

Arizona huffed, but grabbed some of the disregarded groceries, as Callie did the same, turned the key, and lead them in. She quietly took the groceries from Arizona’s hands and put it all on the kitchen counter, leaving the other woman alone in her living room for a few moments. When she walked back into the room, she saw a nervous Arizona pacing back and forth.

“Is it the sketch? It’s the sketch, right? It was too much,” Arizona asked in horrific realization.

Callie sighed and gently grabbed Arizona by the elbow, leading her further into the apartment and straight into her office space, where Arizona’s sketch of hers was hanging.

“There!” Callie huffed.

“Oh,” Arizona said, embarrassed. A few moments passed and she visibly relaxed. 

“So what you’re saying is,” she started, innocently, “that it’s not living room material?” she demanded.

Callie rolled her eyes and said “I’m saying I didn’t feel like hanging a sketch of myself in the common area or my bedroom. Not all of us are actors who like looking at themselves all day!”

“Hey!” Arizona protested in feigned offense.

“Come on crazy pants, let me get you something to drink before you over analyze yourself into unconsciousness,” Callie teased.

They stood in the kitchen quietly staring at the other as each was holding her own glass of water.

“I’m… it’s really nice to see you,” Callie admitted genuinely.

“Then why didn’t you email me?” Arizona retorted her voice full of unresolved emotions, and Callie knew this time the hurt was real.

“I just…” Callie tried to put her thoughts into words. She took a breath and looked directly at Arizona. “I just assumed you came to the hospital out of sense of obligation and because you’re a nice person,” she finally explained, hoping the other woman would understand.

“But then I came here!” Arizona argued.

“At which point I assumed you had a **very** high sense of obligation and was a **really** nice person,” Callie said sheepishly.

“You’re really dumb!” Arizona announced in frustration.

“Or maybe…” Callie’s voice dropped a few octaves, almost a whisper now, “I just wonder why the hell you find me so great to be around,” she admitted.

Arizona looked at her with a shocked expression.

“Wait, you don’t know?” she asked in disbelief.

“Don’t know what?”

“You… you’re funny, and smart, and interesting…”

“I’m really not interesting,” Callie argued.

“I’m still talking, Callie,” Arizona sidestepped the interruption with annoyance lacing her speech.

“Sorry, do go on with telling me how amazing I am.”

“You are, Callie,” Arizona demanded but Callie didn’t seem to buy it. “You are!”

“Look, don’t get me wrong,” Callie said, “I don’t lack in the self esteem department, I think I’m cool,” she explained and made Arizona smirk, “but your life is so much more…”

“Alienating?” Arizona offered. “Fake?”

“No, just…” Callie tried.

“Please, whatever you’re about to say, don’t say glamorous,” Arizona begged, making Callie chuckle.

“You really think I’m interesting?” she asked with uncertainty.

“I don’t know much about you, Callie, but what I do know, I find fascinating. You’re… you’re brave. And optimistic. You’re honest, and…”

“And what?” Callie asked, breath caught in her throat. This was making her way more excited than it should have.

 _Whatever you say next, don’t say beautiful,_ Arizona thought.

“And you see me. You see who I am beneath all of the… show,” she admitted.

 _Well, that was even worse_.

Every time she saw Callie, she seemed to unintentionally give her more and more of what she considered as emotional ammunition.

But Callie didn’t let her beat herself for too long, as she laced Arizona’s fingers with hers, squeezing the soft hand to let Arizona know that she was in a safe space. A safe space in which they were standing very close to one another in the small kitchen.

“I need to leave in a bit. I actually scheduled appointments this time,” Arizona spoke, trying to lighten the mood. She was very aware that Callie’s hand was still in hers.

“Is this you admitting that your so called errands from your last visit were fake?”  Callie asked flirtatiously.

 _Is she flirting? God, please make this flirting_ , Arizona thought and said the first think that came to her mind.

“Shut up.”

Callie roared with laughter only to be joined by Arizona a moment later.

“You wanted to see me **that** badly?” Callie finally asked, her voice lower than usual.

“I… I did,” Arizona admitted, feeling herself blush. Her heart was beating faster, too, she realized.

“Why?” Callie asked in anticipation.

 “Torres!” A loud voice called, making Callie cringe. “Where the hell are you?”

“Crap,” she said, unlacing their fingers and taking a step back from Arizona, “I forgot to lock the door again. Not that It would matter. He has a key.”

“He?” Arizona asked in confusion and disappointment as the handsome man who opened the door for her on her first visit waltzed into the kitchen.

“Hi, Mark. Here I am,” Callie offered innocently.

Mark examined the scene in surprise. Eventually a smirk appeared on his face.

“Is this your boyfriend?” Arizona asked before she could stop herself. Luckily Mark didn’t hear it.

“Well well… Torres, when I told you I saw Arizona Robbins lurking outside our building you never mentioned that she was here for you!” he declared, very evidently enjoying the situation.  He realized exactly what he walked in on.

“Hey, I don’t lurk,” Arizona pretested.

“You kinda do, and Mark, I don’t kiss and tell,” Callie said, making Arizona’s breath hitch.

“Wait, you kissed?” Mark laughed, his smile growing by the minute.

“No!” both women hollered simultaneously making Mark laugh harder.

“Not a boyfriend, then,” Arizona said quietly and visibly relaxed.

“This guy?” Callie said loudly and pointed at Mark, “oh, hell no.”

“Hey! I’m standing right here!” Mark protested.

“Yeah, and? Please, like you’d even want to. You and Addison need to get your shit together, is what **you** need to do,” Callie waved him off and turned to Arizona. “Mark is my neighbor, and best friend, somewhat of an **in-house** best friend, actually” she explained and turned back to look at the man “which can really be a pain in the ass sometimes.”

“Cal and I been besties since business school, Addie too,” Mark explained, guessing correctly that Arizona knew who Addison was, as he walked to the fridge and opened the door.

“No beer?” he asked in disappointed.

“You went to business school?” Arizona asked in surprise, ignoring the man who dropped in on her one on one time with Callie. Precious, flirty, intense one on one time.

“Arizona, yes,” Callie said then turned to Mark, “and you, I’m a lung cancer survivor. You know I hardly drink anymore and if I do it’s not gonna be your cheap-ass beer. It’s not in my fridge unless you put it there and I’m sure not gonna remind you when you run out. Of beer. In **my** fridge.”

“Ah,” he said thoughtfully, “I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m not wanted here.”

“Arizona is only here for a little bit and I don’t get to see her often. So, hmm… go away now, and I’ll see you later,” Callie said, challenging him to refuse.

“Fine, fine. Quality time is important, I get it. Hey, Arizona, before I go, can I get a few autographs to give the guys at work? They’ll flip!”

“Mark! Out! Now!” Callie growled in frustration.

“Okay! I can tell when I’m not wanted! I’m not stupid!” he said as he started walking towards the entrance to the kitchen.

“It was nice to meet you, Arizona,” he offered the woman a warm, genuine smile.

“Likewise,” Arizona responded on an instinct.

When she turned away from him, he looked at Callie and mouthed “call me!” She rolled her eyes and with her voice full of demand said “bye, Mark.”

“Interesting relationship you two have,” Arizona observed once she heard the apartment door shut.

“We give each other a hard time, it’s a brother-sister thing,” Callie said, wanting there to be no misunderstanding regarding the non-romantic nature of her relationship with Mark.

“I still can’t believe you went to business school,” Arizona said in awe. She loved every new piece of information she got about the woman who fascinated her.

“Sometimes I can’t believe it either,” Callie said in disgust. “You don’t get much of a choice when you grow up in my family. But what I always really wanted to do was to write,” she admitted.

“Really?” Arizona asked, huge smile appearing on her face. “Like what? Novels? Or scripts? Oh! Poetry?”

“Why not all of the above?” Callie chuckled. “A novel, though, is what I wanted the most,” her voice trailed off in sadness.

“Wanted?”

“Well, you know, I wanted… and then I went to business school. And then I ran my father’s company’s branch in LA for years. I’m not good enough to be in a loving relationship with, even on my death bed, but my genius of a brain? Sure, let’s be hypocritical and use that,” Callie said bitterly, and Arizona nodded in sad understanding. “And then cancer happened…”

“And things changed,” Arizona understood.

“They did.”

“You don’t want to waste time anymore?”

“I really don’t.”

“Then… why the past tense, Calliope?” Arizona asked, so lost in the genuine moment that she didn’t realize she used Callie’s full name. Callie, however, did notice, and it made her heart skip a beat in a very pleasant way. 

“What’s stopping you now?” Arizona asked, bringing Callie back to the subject at hand.

“Nothing, actually. Except for, you know, inspiration. That’s why I go to the park to watch people every day. I know you think it’s stupid, but…”

“No, I don’t,” Arizona assured quickly, lacing her hand with Callie’s again. “I told you that you’re interesting,” she added softly. “And… hmmm… you **do** have a way with words,” she said and blushed.

Callie looked at her with such an intense look, piercing through her soul and making her mouth dry.

“You know,” Callie started, “I wanted to ask you for a kiss that day at the hospital. As part of the whole… sense of closure thing,” Callie said quietly, eyes still locked with Arizona’s who seemed surprised.

“Then… why didn’t you?” she asked, feeling her body taking her a tiny step forward towards Callie, without asking for permission.

“I didn’t want you to wake up one day, and realize you kissed some random dead girl. That’s creepy,” Callie’s admission made Arizona subconsciously smile at the use of Arizona’s secret nickname for her.

“And then you didn’t die,” Arizona said, taking another step forward.

“And then I didn’t die,” Callie smiled softly, feeling Goosebumps appearing on her arms.  It was very warm all around her all of a sudden.

“So what you’re saying,” Arizona started, sliding her free hand on Callie’s arm, “is that you basically deprived us both of a kiss with no good reason?”

“No good reason at all,” Callie nearly whispered.

Just as Callie was about to lean in and fix the error of her ways, Arizona phone rang, breaking them apart. They looked at each other, frustrated and blushing, as Arizona took her phone out of her pocket, hoping that whatever interruption this was, she could deal with it later.

“Crap,” she said in obvious disappointment, “I’m late, that’s my driver.”   

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t mean to keep you, go,” Callie said sadly.  “Wait, you have a driver?”

“Well, this is just a local guy. Back home I have Eduardo. He’s more like family, really,” Arizona mumbled in embarrassment. She felt so normal when she was with Callie. She hated the reminders that her life was nothing **but** normal.

“You’re probably a great boss,” Callie offered tenderly.

“I… I try,” Arizona admitted and blushed. “I’m really sorry but I have to run. Can I… hmmm… can I come back later?”

“Please do,” Callie said in a way that made Arizona know her return was really, **really** welcomed.

“Good. Great. In the mean time…” she said and gave Callie her phone. “Put your number in. **I** will keep in touch. And you can count on my word because I’m a daughter of a marine,” she announced proudly.

“Good. I want you to keep in touch, I just didn’t wanna assume…” Callie tried to explain again.

“Instead, you only made an ass of you,” Arizona offered with a cute snicker.

“Actually, you flew here just to see me again. I think I made an ass of both you **and** me,” Callie teased.

“Hmm… shut up.”

“You said that today already.”

Arizona smiled at her brightly and they didn’t move for a few more moments.

“Would you go, so you can, you know, come back faster?” Callie finally said with a light laugh.

“Yes, later, Callie.”

“Bye, Arizona,” Callie waved awkwardly.

Arizona walked out of the kitchen as fast as she could or she knew she would never leave at all.

* * *

Callie was standing in front of her closet, trying to figure out what to wear.

 _It needs to look like I didn’t try too hard, but also be super hot_ , she thought. She couldn’t recall the last time she felt so giddy. And there was no better word than giddy to describe the way Arizona made her feel earlier. They were **this** close to kiss, she knew without a doubt. Once Arizona returned, they **were** going kiss even if Callie had to yell at her inner voice which kept telling her she was a cliché for falling for a celebrity.

 _She could have whomever she wants,_ Callie thought. _What if she **does** have whomever she wants?_

Callie grimaced.

_No. Not Arizona. She’s not like that._

_You don’t know **what** she’s like._

_Oh, but I do._

She knew that she did. Arizona herself told her so. There was no way the sweet weirdo who came to see her when she was dying, and then came to see her in New York twice, was playing with her.

She smiled at the realization, and finally chose what to wear.

As she was putting her chosen selections on the bed, her phone buzzed. She knew immediately it was Arizona. The other woman texted her a few times during the day and evening, letting her know how much longer before she finished her meetings.

With a smile, Callie picked up her phone just to have her grin wiped away a few moments later.

**Calliope, I’m so *so* sorry. I have an unexpected emergency meeting in LA in the morning. April (manager) just got me a ticket for the earliest flight without even asking me! She just told me. I’m on my way to the hotel to pick my stuff up, then straight to the airport. I’m so sorry!**

Callie couldn’t help the disappointment that washed all over her.

 **That’s okay, I understand, Superstar ;) Is everything okay?** She replied.

 **Yeah, it’s some annoying marketing stuff. Totally not worth missing an evening with you over.** Arizona wrote, making Callie smile. She started typing but before she managed to finish, another text came in.

**And you’re absolutely the only one who can call me Superstar and get away with it. And you can tell no one that you got this special pass.**

**Well,** Callie replied, **no one is allowed to call me Calliope, but I’ll grant you a special permission in the spirit of solidarity.**

Both women smiled at Callie’s words and while they were robbed of their chance of a nice rendezvous, they kept texting all through the evening, and night, and the following day. And week, and…


	5. Chapter 4

**_One Week Later…_ **

**This isn’t 20 questions, Callie!**

**Of course not, Arizona. At this point it’s more like 20,000,000 questions.**

**Smart-ass.**

**Hey, my ass is fabulous!**

Arizona chuckled as she read the text s from Callie. She didn’t mind admitting anymore that she was smitten, not to herself, and not to the friend right in front of her, whom she chose not to ignore any longer by putting her phone away.

They were sitting in one of their little hole in the wall coffee places. The two had a list of about ten of those, and they always rotated, reducing the risk for paparazzi presence.

“I just don’t get it,” Teddy said. “The last time I’ve seen you was only like, a week and a half ago, and you seemed totally normal. Okay, yes, you checked your phone obsessively, but you always do! So excuse me if I’m a bit surprised you went from nada to totally in love with someone in a week!”

“I’m not in love with her!” Arizona protested. “We just met. Kinda.”

“Kinda? Arizona, what the hell is going on with you? Who is this mystery woman?”

Arizona groaned. She wanted to tell Teddy, god, she wanted to scream it from the roof tops. Her actually being excited about someone again? Having that potential for something with substance? It wasn’t easy to find in general, but it was even harder when your life is constantly being examined under a microscope. Under normal circumstances her best friend would be so happy for her.

Except that Teddy wasn’t all into Arizona going to the hospital in the first place. And then she wasn’t too happy about Arizona’s dead lady’s portrait obsession. Callie was also initially a fan. But really, Arizona was famous, where was she supposed to meet cute girls with zero knowledge of who she was, anyways?

“Hello,” Teddy snapped her fingers in front of Arizona’s face. “You still here? I demand explanations!”

“Okay, but I need you to keep an open mind, okay?” Arizona asked carefully.

“Open mind, what the he… Arizona! It’s not a dude, is it?”

“What? God, no! Ew…of course not! It’s a woman. A smart, funny, smoking hot woman!”

“Then what exactly do I need to be open minded for?” Teddy asked in exasperation.

_Great. We’re two minutes in and this conversation is already exhausting._

“Okay. Her name is Callie. She lives in New York, and…”

“New York!” Teddy interrupted again. “Your life is complicated enough. You had to go and finally find someone just to be in a long distance relationship? You **hate** long distance relationships! How did you even meet her?”

“I met her a year ago,” Arizona said quietly, suddenly finding her own fingers to be very interesting. “Hmm… at a hospital.”

“At a hospital? When did you go to a… wait, Callie. Why is the name sound familiar?” Teddy asked in suspicion, boring her eyes into Arizona who said nothing and still looked down at her hands.

“Oh my god, Arizona! It’s cancer girl!” Teddy yelled in shocked realization. “I thought she died!”

“So did I,” Arizona admitted sincerely, finally looking back up at her friend. “For a whole year.”

“Wait, so she really **did** lie to you to get you to meet her? And now you actually like her? Arizona!”

“No, Teddy!” Arizona desperately tried to explain before noticing that their little heated argument was starting to gather people’s attention. “No!” she spoke in a much quieter voice as she tried to explain the situation. “She was as good as gone. She had like two weeks left. She was so thin and frail when I met her. But then she got into this clinical trial and it saved her life.”

“Are you absolutely sure this is how it went down?” Teddy asked, skeptical.

“Yes, Teddy. I’m sure,” Arizona argued with conviction. She appreciated her friend always looking out for her, god knows she didn’t have many people like Teddy in her life, but she couldn’t let her believe that someone as caring, and open, and genuine as Callie could do something like what Teddy was suggesting. “She was sick, and she survived, and I’m so happy that she did, Teds, because…” Arizona took a deep breath, “because she’s amazing.”

Teddy stared at her with an unreadable expression.

“What?” Arizona asked, feeling uncomfortable.

“Tell me **everything** ,” Teddy said, a smile finally spreading on her face.

“Yeah?” Arizona prompt, hopeful.

“You are so desperate for love that you resurrect your mysterious dead muse? Heck yeah I wanna hear everything!” Teddy grinned sweetly.

Arizona glared at her but told her everything nonetheless.

“So when do I get to meet her?” Teddy asked about an hour later after Arizona recalled every tiny detail of her encounters with Callie.

“That’s a good question. But I think **I** need to meet her a few more times before I expose her to the Altman tornado.”

“Honestly, Arizona, that makes me sound like a brand of condoms,” Teddy whined.

“You love it, and you know it.”

“I will neither confirm nor deny. I gotta run though, lunch break is nearly over. Walk you to your car?” Teddy offered.

“Are you being courteous or do you just miss Eduardo?” Arizona challenged as they reached the car.

“Eduardo, of course.” He always gave her chocolate.

Arizona hardly gave a second glance to her friend and a lame “hello” to Eduardo before she fastened her seatbelt and frantically grabbed her phone.

 **Where did you go?** A waiting text inquired. **Are you doubting the quality of my ass?**

Arizona laughed out loud making Eduardo look at her through the mirror. There was a lot of laughing coming from Arizona in the past few days and he enjoyed seeing his favorite boss looking so happy.

**I am most definitely *not* doubting the quality of your ass. ;) Was with Teddy at this coffee place and figured I shouldn’t ignore her. When am I gonna see you again? I have a day in NYC on the 14 th :) Can I come over? Or anything you want.**

As she was waiting for Callie’s reply, she checked her emails. There was one from April with the subject line “Once Upon a December ;)”.

Arizona clicked on the email immediately. Ever since she heard about the intention of making this project, she was hoping the production will reach out to her, audition or no audition. She didn’t have to audition as much anymore, but she really didn’t mind it. Especially if the competition was between her and another name actor. The production **did** reach out initially a few weeks prior, but nothing was finalized. She had a feeling that was about to change.

                     **Zona,**

**I wanted to call but I figured you’ll just screen me as you tend to do. I figured the subject**

**line will get your attention fast enough.**

**They called like we have hoped. It’s yours! They want to have you do chemistry reads with**

**potential co-stars in the next few days. You might have to dye your hair a bit darker, that’ll**

**be decided later, but they gave me production dates already, so all you have to do is say**

**yes and they can do contract signing later today!**

**Production will shoot in Belarus for three months, starting in 4 weeks! This whole thing is**

**gonna unfold very quickly!**

**Call me!**

**P.S. – I still think Fox is gonna throw a tantrum about the title, but we’ll see. That’s not our**

**problem anyways!**

Arizona couldn’t contain her excitement. This was a dream role for her. She was so intrigued by the project that she even thought of joining as an associate producer.

_Belarus!_

One of the perks of her job was that she could travel the world, see new places. It was one of the things that excited her the most. And she’d never been to Belarus before.

She had to tell Callie first thing, before she even called April.

_Crap! Callie!_

They just started something, or were headed towards that, and now she was going to leave for **months**.

_Only local productions for **two** years! And now I finally meet someone, so of course **this** will happen. Well, at least we’ll have the 14 th. _

It was hard. On the one hand, she couldn’t really complain. She wanted the project so bad. She knew Callie would be happy for her, proud of her. The thought of Callie being proud of her made her tingle a bit, but she also couldn’t help but think that in three months a girl like Callie could meet someone else. She didn’t know much about Callie’s romantic history. Callie said she wasn’t much of a carpe diem person, but that didn’t necessarily mean that she didn’t like to fool around as often and with as many people as possible.

She finally took out the phone to see Callie’s reply and break the news to her. Good **and** bad.

 **Crap!** Callie’s reply said. **I’m actually at Mayo on the 14 th for my check up. : ( Can you reschedule NYC at all? If not, I’ll try to fly over some time after. Addison has been requiring my presence for months anyway : ) I know it’s shit but I’m always more clear headed after a positive check up. I wouldn’t want to see you when my mind is all pre-occupied.**

Arizona groaned. While she was happy to see Callie really trying to navigate in order for them to meet up, she understood straight away that between all of their schedule conflicts, and the fact that she was going into pre-production very soon, she wouldn’t be seeing Callie for a very long time.

 **Oh, too bad you didn’t tell me,** she texted back. **I’d clear my schedule and come with you. I mean, if you would’ve wanted me too.** She figured those checkups could be intimidating.

 **You’re crazy, you know that?** Came the quick reply. **But it’s a lovely offer, thank you. So, after my check up? I guess?**

 **A lot after, I’m afraid,** Arizona typed sadly. **And don’t feel bad because I know now any changes to my schedule would be hard to make, anyways. April just emailed me and… wait, can I just call you?**

**You really don’t need to ask, Arizona.**

So she did.

“Hey!” Callie's excited voice burst from the other side of the line.

“Hey,” Arizona replied softly. Callie’s voice made her feel things, sexy things, with a single syllable.

“So why do I feel like you call bearing bad news?”

“Hmm… not entirely. I got a part that I really wanted,” Arizona said, trying to not sound like a total show off.

“Arizona! That’s great! What is it?”

“It’s about Anastasia Romanov,” she explained, playing the whole thing down. But she couldn’t help the smile spreading on her face at her own excitement and the one so evident in Callie’s voice.

“Wait, you’re gonna play a Russian princess?” Callie asked almost giddily, making Arizona smile even bigger.

“Yes!” she declared excitedly, not able to hide her happiness anymore.

“Are you… hmm… happy?” Callie was chuckling at her own question because she already knew.

“Are you kidding? It’s a dream role! I’ve always been fascinated with the story. And the last Anastasia-centric, American adaptation was the animated film. And that was in 1997!”

“Wow, you’re a nerd,” Callie observed, “but an adorable one,” she added, making Arizona blush.

“Thanks,” Arizona responded shyly.

“And of course, a cliché. You have the perfect look for a Russian princess,” Callie stated the obvious, making Arizona giggle. “I’m so happy for you, Arizona! This is amazing! And if it’s something you really wanted, that’s even more incredible.”

Callie voice sounded so thrilled, Arizona really wanted to just reach out and grab her into her arms. But she couldn’t, and that notion made her stomach hurt.

“We should totally celebrate,” Callie said. “On me! Wherever you wanna go.”

“We **should** celebrate,” Arizona started, “but…”

“But? You’re going away, aren’t you?” Callie realized, surprising Arizona with her quick understanding of the situation.

“You’re very smart, Callie Torres, you know that?”

“I do. You told me so,” Callie said softly but Arizona could hear some disappointed in her voice.

“I’m sorry Callie. We’re going into prep like, yesterday. So I’ll be insanely busy everyday for the next month until I fly out. I’m probably even gonna have to cancel the visit on the 14th,” she sighed, realizing that the odds were against them whatever which way.

“Where are you going?” Callie asked, sounding excited again.

“Belarus,” Arizona replied with a smile. “I’m excited, I’ve never been.”

“I have, actually, as a kid. My dad had a business trip and took me. I don’t remember much, though. But I think it might be pretty?” she chuckled, “why Belarus?”

“Pretty sure they wanted to shoot in Russia, but, they wanted to work with me and, you know, I’m gay. That might turn into a problem. I think that played a major part.”

“Yeah, good thinking. You’re way too pretty for prison,” Callie flirted, and Arizona thought her smile might split her face in half. “So, what’s the verdict?” Callie asked cautiously.

“Three months,” Arizona answered and could hear the other woman groan. Her phone buzzed to let her know there was a call waiting. Pulling her phone away from her ear she saw that it was April.

“Shit. Callie, I’m sorry. April is calling. I didn’t even call her back after the email. I wanted to tell you first.”

“It’s okay. Thanks for telling me. Go, be an awesome Russian princess. We’ll talk later.”

“Okay, thanks. Bye,” Arizona said and sadly hung up. She had to call April back, but a text came in from Callie, making her feel less crazy, and a bit more certain that whatever it was that was happening between them, wasn’t happening with other people, too.

**Don’t meet any cute girls while you’re in Belarus, okay?**

**Okay. But you need to promise me the same,** she typed with a smile still adorning her face.

 **To not meet any cute girls in Belarus? Done.** Callie replied. Arizona was about to type a response, but another text came in.

**Nowhere else either.**

Arizona smiled widely and finally called April. This was turning out to be a very decent day.

* * *

Arizona woke up the following morning. It was her last official day off before the madness started and she had no intention of actually starting her day. She lazily picked her phone from the nightstand, and went through her emails like she tended to do when she knew she’d remain in bed for a while longer. She saw there was one from Callie titled “;)”.

She quickly opened it with a smile on her face. It only said **already meeting cute girls, ah?** with a link to TMZ.

When she clicked it she saw it was a picture of her and Teddy at the coffee place from the day before. They managed to take a picture of her exactly when she was glaring at Teddy.

The headline said: “A lovers’ quarrel?”

She rolled her eyes and went back to sleep.


	6. Chapter 5

**_A month later…_ **

**It’s really weird, Arizona. I’m kinda sad that you’re in Belarus but I know it’s totally psychological because I haven’t seen you in like 6 weeks anyhow. So you’re just as far as you’ve ever been if that makes sense.**

Arizona sat in her trailer and smiled at the sentiment. She shared it, too.

**Distance makes the heart grow fonder, Calliope.**

**My heart is pretty fond already,** came the reply.

 _Yes, Calliope Torres **does** have a way with words._ She knew that for a while now, but she was constantly reminded. When she said something to the other woman about it, Callie simply replied that it was “swag.”

She re-read Callie’s encouraging response and felt propelled by the distance to bring up something that she wanted to, for a while.

 **It also makes a person bolder, which is ridiculous, because like you said, nothing really changed,** she finally typed.

**Oh, are you feeling bold, Arizona? Do tell. ;)**

**Bold enough (and not at all tipsy!) to admit that I’m pretty sure you were going to kiss me last time I saw you if I wasn’t late for my meeting and then on an unexpected, early flight back home.** Arizona hesitated before she hit the send button. They’ve been flirting and talking constantly, learning every little detail about each other. She seemed to always crave more of Callie. But neither ever acknowledged what it was that was happening between them. Nor did they ever speak again about that afternoon in Callie’s apartment. She took a breath and sent the text. Consequences be damned. The other woman seemed to have high tolerance to all things Arizona Robbins, even the craziest parts, so this was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

**Well, then, Arizona, if you’re pretty sure… ;)**

**So you admit it, then?** Arizona asked, happy that they were making some more unofficial progress.

 **What can I say?** Callie replied. **You’re sort of irresistible. Also, I very much like this assertive, bold side of yours. Does one bold Arizona Robbins have any other things that she’s sure of?**

 **Well,** she paused for a moment, **I’m pretty sure that if this project is good for anything, it’s to make me appreciate an unlimited international texting and data plan ;)**

**Hear hear!**

* * *

**Callie! We shot in the castle today for the first time! Wait, I’m sending you pics. Needless to say, they’re for your eyes only.**

**Obvi. Wait, you haven’t used the castle until now? What the hell have you been doing then?**

Arizona laughed lightly. Callie clearly didn’t know much about production.

**Do you really think I’d neglect to mention a huge ass castle had I been in it earlier?**

**I don’t know, Arizona, we aren’t that close. You don’t tell me every single thing you do :)**

“Rude,” Arizona said as she typed.

**God, I only mentioned what I had for breakfast on the first two weeks. Must you be such an ass about it? ;)**

**Yes. Being an ass is part of my charm. Now answer the question, Princess.**

Arizona groaned. Callie insisted on calling her that since she got the part. Arizona clarified on more than one occasion that this wouldn’t do.

 **You’re not gonna call me by my role every time I get a new one, are you?** She asked her via text one day.

 **Stick around long enough and you’ll find out, Princess ;)** was Callie’s cheeky reply.

 _Oh, I intend to,_ she thought that day.

**Callie, I basically send you a report every day. You really don’t think I would’ve mentioned a castle?**

**Well you just told me about the dialogue, not about location! You’re somewhere in Belarus being all princessy! Of course I assumed you were in a castle all along, Arizona. Don’t blame me for the false advertisement!**

Arizona laughed out loud, as she always did when she was talking to Callie.

_She does have a point._

Sometimes, Arizona felt like she’d become a totally different person since she got re-acquainted with the other woman. Annoying things weren’t as annoying when she had a gorgeous woman comforting her or telling her to get her perspective in order.

**Okay, so we have a few locations here for different sections of the film. We’ve done some stuff in the studio, some exteriors outside the castle, but we’re now finally moving in for a couple of weeks.**

**It’ll be so cool to see you in a period attire,** Callie commented.

**Oh, we’re done talking about the castle already? ;)**

**No, no. I kinda just saw you in my head in fitting attire, waltzing down some big ass, castely staircase. A-la Beauty and the Beast. Or titanic. Not as tragic, though.**

**Callie, it’s the Romanov family story. It *is* that tragic. And…there *is* a huge ass castley staircase!  Good job, Callie!**

**I knew it!**

**How is it looking in your head?** Arizona asked.

 **It looks really pretty,** Callie replied and Arizona knew this comment was directed at her rather than at the castle.

 **Wait, so what is happening after the castle? You’re not there for the remaining of the three months, are you?** Callie asked before Arizona could reply to her previous text. She did that sometimes. Throw a compliment Arizona’s way and move on just as quickly. Arizona didn’t know if it’s because Callie feared rejection or because it was just so easy for her to compliment Arizona that she didn’t give it a second thought. But after weeks upon weeks of not so subtle hinting, Arizona was pretty certain it was the latter.

**No, we’re actually moving to some escape scenes in a couple of weeks. Some crazy stunts!**

**Please tell me you’re not doing your own stunts.**

Arizona couldn’t help but smile knowing that Callie was worried about her.

**I try and do as many as I can, but my parents already lost one kid. I try to not push my luck. Though what they don’t know can’t hurt them.**

**But it can hurt me! And I mean… you!** Callie protested.

**So how about you just tell yourself I’m in a castle for the next 2 months? ;)**

Arizona assumed the light banter would continue, but it seemed like Callie had other plans in mind.

**You know, you never told me about your brother. I mean, clearly you don’t have to, but if you ever want to, I’d love to hear about him.**

**You wrote the word ‘to’ 3 times. Someone’s anxious ;)** And for a change it wasn’t her. She liked that she could make Callie feel off-balance like this. Callie made her feel so off-balanced and so centered simultaneously. It was an incredible feeling and one that she wanted to know she was causing the other woman to feel, too.

**I just don’t want to overstep, Arizona.**

**Remember the time I came to your apartment completely unannounced and blamed you for negligence?** Arizona teased, hoping to encourage Callie and let her know that she had nothing to fear when it came to overstepping.

 **Which one? : )** Callie teased right back.

**Whatever. Anyways, Calliope, I want to, I really do. And I know we covered a lot of ground with texts, but this… When I tell you about Timothy I want it to be face to face.**

**Is that a promise?**

**You know that it is.**

* * *

**Come visit me.**

**I wish I could, but I actually signed papers when I entered the clinical trial agreeing not to leave the country until it’s been 18 months since the completion of the treatment : (**

**:( Not about the trial, clearly, it kept you here, but it would be so nice if you could come. I’d give you a tour and everything!**

Arizona was hoping beyond hope that she won’t get any other out of the country projects until those eighteen months were up. She didn’t want to be away from Callie for this long again. It was a weird notion. It’s almost like they’ve been in a relationship without kissing each other once or ever really seeing each other at all. It was on the verge between reality and fantasy.

 **If I could, I’d be there days ago, Arizona,** Callie replied, making some of Arizona’s doubt evaporate, yet not entirely. Something still lingered.

 **I miss you,** Arizona finally admitted.

 **I miss you too. A lot,** came the reply that made her shudder.

Arizona stared at the screen wondering how much of her concerns she wanted to share via text, but Callie texted again before she had a chance to decide.

**Hey, I know! Maybe you should text me some racy photos ;)**

**You’d like that, wouldn’t you?** Arizona chuckled. **Sadly, not even Icloud is a famous girl’s friend these days.**

**Meh, technology.**

**Meh, bullies.**

**It’s weird, isn’t it? Us, I mean,** Callie asked, putting a voice to Arizona’s own thoughts.

**It is. But it also isn’t, I guess.**

**It’s been so long since I saw you. I mean, you have such a huge presence in my life, but you’re not really in my life. You know?**

Arizona nodded at no one in particular and was about to reply, but Callie texted again.

**I don’t mean… sigh. I just mean that physically, you’re not here. Not that you don’t have a real place of worth in my life. Because you matter. A lot.**

**I know, Calliope. I know. The feeling is very mutual. I just want to see you again, so things will make more sense.**

**And fall into place? : )**

**Yes, exactly.**

**It’s just weird to miss someone this much, when you only met twice,** Callie explained.

 **Thrice. Those were really good three meetings, though :)**  Arizona noted.

**They really were. Sans cancer.**

**You’re gonna be the first thing on my agenda when I come back home, I promise,** Arizona texted, really meaning it. Because she’s been away from home for 3 months, and she really, **really** wanted to act selfishly for a change. Responsibilities be damned.

 **Promises, promises.**  Callie replied, making Arizona’s eyebrow furrow.

**What did I tell you about the worth of my word, Calliope?**

**Something about being a daughter of a marine if I recall :)**

**Exactly. Then I guess it’s settled.**

**I guess it is : )**

* * *

**Princess, are you awake?**

**Sort of. Still in the process. Need to leave to set in 30. Everything okay? You’re up late.** Arizona hit send and tried to drag herself out of bed. She knew that a room service cart with wonderful coffee would be waiting outside her room.

**Yeah, sorry to bother you so early, I know it’s the last day. Are you ready to come home?**

**Yeah, I am. But I’m glad to take a few days to travel around, and the wrap party is tomorrow night. So a few more days, but at least good ones.** She was indeed excited. What is the point of going somewhere new if you don’t get to explore?

**Great. Send me many pictures. I wanna live vicariously through you.**

**If the last 3 months were any indication, I think we both know that you can absolutely count on me sending you many pictures, Calliope :)**

She opened the door and found her savior coffee.

**‘Arizona Robbins, she took a lot of pictures,’ is what your tombstone’s gonna say.**

**Ah, yes. Morbid humor at 5 AM in the morning.** She texted again right away before Callie could reply. **And yes, Callie, I know. It comes with the territory when you get close to someone who had a near death experience.**

**Yes, it does. Which now also includes you after that little stunt that you, errr… didn’t pull a few weeks back.**

**I told you it was an accident!**

**How can you get into a motorcycle accident while shooting a film about Russia of the 1910s is beyond me, but I learned a while ago that you’re a very special person.**

Arizona smiled and smelled the aroma from the steaming mug. She took a sip and replied.

**Callie, your wit requires my brain to wake up way more quickly than it’s used too. Please, don’t be so smart.**

**I’m sorry (or am I?) anyways, I come bearing news. Not the best, I’m afraid.** And just like that, Arizona was wide awake, attention solely on her phone, mug forgotten in her hand.

 **What is is?! Is it Mayo?** She texted immediately, concern level skyrocketing.

**Gosh, no. Sorry! I guess I should’ve started with ‘everything’s fine.’**

**Ya think?!**

**You know, I’ll always have these kind of moments and you might always get worried, right? :(**

**Shut up.** She replied, now that she knew Callie was fine, she returned to her morning zombie state.

**I mean it, though. I just want you to know what you’re getting yourself into.**

**What did I say about complex concepts at 5 AM, Callie?** She scolded. **Tell me your news.**

**Hmm… I know I was the first thing on your agenda and I really appreciate it, but I have to go to Miami for a few days.**

**Crap,** Arizona replied as her shoulders slumped. She was **so** ready for a reunion with Callie. Even if only to understand what was happening between them, once and for all.

**…is exactly how I reacted. But I have some family stuff to deal with.**

**Maybe I can just fly to see you in Miami once I get back?**

**You could, but it’s probably a less gay-friendly environment than Russia. I’ll see you as soon as I can, which will be really soon. I promise. I know I’m not a colonel’s daughter, but if I’m making you a promise, I’ll keep it. I swear.**

**You don’t need to convince me so hard that your word means something, Callie. I know that it does : )**

**Thank you. And, I mean, we’ve gone 3 and a half months, what’s another week or two, right?**

**Right. What’s going on with your family?** She was starting to feel more and more present as the coffee coursed through her veins. Which meant the concern was back as well.

**It’s boring and annoying and I’ll just tell you when I see you. Which I feel the need to point out again – will be soon.**

**It’s just a bummer because there are so many things that I wanted to tell you,** Arizona admitted. She couldn’t help but imagining herself cuddling with Callie next to a fireplace, flipping through photos. But she lives in the always sunny LA and Callie’s apartment had no fireplace.

**Arizona, you told me every single thing that happened, *as* it happened, since the day you left.**

**Tip of the iceberg, Calliope.**

**You’re insane, Princess.**

**You love it,** Arizona said. Knowing it’s always a risk to use that word, because the reply could or couldn’t be “no, but I love you.” She waited anxiously to see how Callie would reply. Not that she expected to hear any life changing declarations over a text, but with the way Callie made her feel, she just hoped beyond hope that when they finally saw each other again, things will be just like they were three and a half months ago.

 **Fine.** Callie said and Arizona was sure that she was huffing on the other side of the world. It wasn’t any big love declaration, but it still made Arizona smile. Another message came in.

**You’ll tell me, and I’ll tell you, and we’d hopefully be locked away somewhere for a whole week.**

**Sounds amazing,** Arizona replied. **In a cabin, maybe?**

**Do you own one?**

**No. Why, should I get one?**

**You can never be too safe, can you? :)**

Yes, Arizona was very much ready to go home.


	7. Chapter 6

**_Two Weeks Later…_ **

Arizona lay in bed. It was early Saturday morning and she had no intention of leaving her sacred space any time soon. She very much wanted to sleep, that seem to have been all she wanted to do since she got back from Belarus. There was just something about sleeping in your own bed after months, about coming home, that no other feeling could replace. It was a very specific sort of joy, a joy that she most definitely still felt a week after coming home. She would be feeling it right now, if it wasn’t for this annoying feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Callie has been MIA since the evening before, and Arizona didn’t like it. It was nagging at her and more than that, she had to admit that she was upset with the other woman. They were texting, and flirting, and hypothesizing about all the things they could do when they finally met up, and then Callie just stopped answering her texts. Arizona already clarified that when it came to Callie, with her medical history, Arizona’s mind always assumed the worst, so Callie’s disappearance pissed her off. It made her sleep restlessly that night, and coming morning, Arizona was even more irritated. Her bed was so comfy, though, that she chose to be irritated under the covers.

She tried Callie again, but it went to voice mail. Arizona groaned and covered her face with a pillow, hiding from the light. She loved leaving the curtains open, she could usually sleep through anything, but this morning her attempts were proving futile.

“Dammit, Callie!”

 She looked at the time, it was 10 AM. By all means, under normal circumstances, an indulgence, but on a weekend, being awake by ten made her feel pathetic.

“Arizona Robbins, a star, living on the edge and can’t sleep past 10 AM because of a girl.” She shook her head and sighed heavily.

Her doorbell ringing pulled her out of her thoughts and with an additional huff out of bed, too.

“Not my morning,” she thought as she went down the stairs, crossed her living room and reached the entrance door. She checked the peephole and saw it was a guy from the security company. April made her start using them seven years prior. Arizona bitched, and whined, but to no avail. And April was right, too. Weirdoes, they were a-many. Wall climbers, too. And not in the cool **Spider-many** way.

She opened the door in worry. “Hi.”

“Morning, ma’am.” She hated when they ma’amed her. “Sorry for bothering you so early. I’m Owen,” he added politely.

“Hey, Owen,” she offered, still confused.

“You know we have to interfere whenever we spot a suspicious behavior around the outside perimeter,” he explained.

She knew too well. The security company watched the outside of her house 24/7 and they were forced to “come and collect” on more than one occasion. But Arizona was never approached by them directly. She either reported something and was notified when the matter was resolved, or was herself notified afterwards when the security company had to be present. She couldn’t recall a time when she talked to any of them.

“Well,” she said with a kind smile, “someone came to sleuth at 10 AM on a Saturday morning? That’s impressive, I guess, but what does it have to do with me? You guys never knock.”

“I know, it’s just, hmmm…” Owen said uncomfortably, “this woman claims that she knows you and, while it’s not the first time we’ve heard that, they usually budge and admit to lying.  This lady refuses to leave or admit to being a stranger. She says she just wanted to surprise you. If she doesn’t come with us on her own free will but at the same time doesn’t seem to be violent, or harmful, well… can you maybe come and confirm that she’s a stranger? Legally, it’ll make everything way easier.”

_As in you won’t be sued._

“Fine,” she said, not believing that she needs to deal with the awkward situation of facing someone while directing others to remove them from her property. “Where is this woman now?”

“Right outside the walls, by the car with Josh,” he said, “if you don’t mind following me.” So she did, and they left the perimeter, at which point she finally saw the so-called stranger with a sour expression on her face. Arizona stopped dead in her tracks. That sour expression was very cute and very welcome.

“Callie?” She asked, making the other woman look up. A huge smile appeared on Callie’s face.

“Callie!” Arizona all but ran towards Callie and took her in her arms. It felt so good after so long.

“Took you long enough, Princess,” Callie said quietly into her hair.

“I told you, movie’s over, you can’t call me that anymore! What are you doing here?”

Owen and Josh looked at them dumbfounded. The scene seemed pretty amiable, not to mention intimate, and up until a second ago they were ready to escort Callie out of the neighborhood.

“Well, I needed to see you but it appears that it’s much harder to stop by unannounced at **your** place, which is unfair but also I should’ve predicted,” Callie admitted sheepishly.

Arizona's lips formed into a dazzling smile. Five months apart and she still got that feeling of pleasure running through her entire body just by looking at Callie and exchanging two sentences with her.

“Okay, but why now? Why unannounced?”

“Why? So you’re the only one who gets to do that?” Callie challenged.

“Nope, I just thought you were still in Miami for a few more days,” Arizona explained gently. She was really happy that Callie was there. She liked the idea of Callie at her house.

“I… yeah, but… I’ll tell you inside,” Callie said quietly, making Arizona’s worries rise again and reminding her that she was upset with the other woman.

“You guys are good to go,” she told to the all but forgotten security guards. “This one over here is many things, but a crazy liar, she ain’t.” She added, all the while still looking at Callie challengingly.

“Hmm, glad to hear it Ma’am,” Owen said and then proceeded to clear is throat.

“Ma’am? Really?” Callie asked with a raised eyebrow making the guard blush.

“Go,” Arizona dismissed, now looking at Owen. “I’m putting you out of your misery.”

He looked at her gratefully. It was very clear to him and his partner that they nearly removed someone who was very important to their client.

“Appreciate it Ma’am. Take care now,” he said. Josh nodded and they both got into the car and drove away.

“Come on, Stalker,” Arizona laced her fingers with Callie’s. “Let me show you around. I’m mad at you, by the way.”

She meant it, but she also couldn't ignore how at ease she was now that Callie's hand was in her own. It felt great and so right.

“I know! I know! And I’m sorry. But for once, I just wanted to surprise you. And it was a last minute decision and then we landed really early, and I dropped my stuff off at Addie’s, and by the time I got here my phone had died. I wasn’t sure you were up already so I just looked around to see if I could see any activity. And then Tweedle-dumb and Tweedle-dumber showed up.”

Arizona burst into laughter as she opened the door, leading Callie in, and shutting it safely behind them.

“Fine, you’re forgiven. But no more surprises Callie,” she said, leaning on the door.

“Or yes to surprises, but with more cellular communication while the plan is in motion?” Callie tried.

“I’ll allow it.” Arizona granted and smiled brightly.

“What?” Callie asked, mirroring Arizona’s smile with her own.

“You’re actually here,” she explained in amazement.

“I am… I…” Callie took a breath.

“What is it, Calliope? Are you here for some bad reason and just stopped by? You said it was a last moment decision.”

“Today is my birthday,” Callie blurted out.

“What? No, it’s not. Your birthday is in three months. I know, because I wrote it down when you told me, so I don’t forget, and can get you something really pretty,” Arizona explained, half confused, half amused.

Callie took another deep breath in. She wanted Arizona to understand how important the day was for her, and how badly she wanted to share it with Arizona without the other woman thinking it was too much. But this was Arizona Robbins. The woman who came to yell at her for not telling her she was still alive when they were practically strangers.

Callie smiled remembering that Arizona didn’t know the definition of too much.

“What is it, Callie? You huff, you cry, you mumble, and then you smile. This isn’t like you and it’s also very confusing.”

“Exactly a year ago today, I was at Mayo, waiting for test results, and they came into the room to tell me that I’m cancer free, and can go home.”

“Oh,” Arizona understood. “Oh! Your birthday! Your **second** birthday!”

“Yes,” Callie confirmed quietly, making Arizona examine her face.

“Happy birthday, Calliope.” she said softly.

“Thank you,” Callie breathed out. “I was thinking yesterday that you only get one first second birthday. You know? And I realized there was nothing I wanted more than to spend it with you. So I left before my parents had the chance to guilt trip me into staying. And I came here,” she finally concluded, waiting for Arizona’s response. But Arizona didn’t say anything. “Is that… okay?” Callie asked cautiously.

Arizona swallowed hard.

“It’s more than okay, Callie,” she said in an emotional, hoarse voice. “I’m beyond honored.” She finally walked from the door and moved closer to where Callie was standing.

“You didn’t really give me a proper hello today,” she noted putting her hand on Callie’s arm, and rubbing it up and down.

“Hi,” Callie said in a whisper letting Arizona’s shampoo invade her senses.

 The other woman seemed irritated.

“Do it,” she ordered.

“Do what?” Callie asked stupidly, making Arizona groan.

“I can’t always make the first moves, Calliope,” she replied softly.

“I know,” Callie sounded apologetic, “It’s harder for me, Arizona. You’re the famous one and it makes me second guess myself,” she admitted. “Like maybe this isn’t actually happening.”

“But I told you, I’m not that important person when I’m with you. It’s so refreshing. I’m just me. I’m just a regular person.”

“Arizona, what are you talking about?” Callie smiled in awe. “When you’re with me, you’re extraordinary,” The sincerity of her voice took Arizona's breath away.

Callie hardly managed to finish the sentence when Arizona leaned in and captured her lips with her own. When it was Callie who was telling her she was the most important person, she actually believed her. She actually wanted to be.

One thing was clear to both women as their lips danced together – it was the first time in a long time a kiss felt so good.

Arizona was tender and gentle. She just wanted to show Callie how she felt. Make her feel comfortable and at ease. But instead of ease what she got was electricity that shot all through her body even though the kiss stayed relatively chaste and innocent. Like a welcome home kiss after a long day at work.

Callie pulled back and leaned her forehead on Arizona’s.

“I thought you said you can’t make the first moves?” she smiled, her eyes still closed as she reveled in the sensation.

“Well, you sweet talked your way out of it,” Arizona chuckled quietly making Callie open her eyes and look at her.

“Thanks?” Callie questioned with a chuckle.

“ **And** this kiss has been five months in the making.”

“No,” Callie corrected her, “this kiss was in the making since you saw me twenty minutes ago. **This** one has been five months in the making,” she finished, put her hand on Arizona’s neck, and pulled the other woman in for a much more passionate kiss.

It made them both shudder in the best way possible and soon enough hands grabbed hips as they molded together for what felt like forever, lips refusing to separate, tongues battling as they finally got the exploration they so desperately wanted.

Arizona put her hand on Callie’s back under her shirt, and just left it there, absorbing the feeling of the smooth skin beneath her hand.

When they finally separated for hair, Callie held her tight. Arizona’s hand was still on Callie’s back, as the shorter woman laid her hand on Callie’s chest.

“Wow,” Arizona said quietly.

“I concur,” Callie offered, still breathless.

“You were right. This is definitely what I’ve been waiting for,” Arizona said. When Callie didn’t reply, she leaned back. They looked at each other’s eyes and started to giggle.

“This is so weird. And perfect. And weird,” Callie said, moving a lock of hair from Arizona’s face to behind her ear.

“What is?”

“Us. This. It’s like that friend from your town you meet online, and you talk, and get close, and flirt oh so easily over the phone or like ICQ or something archaic like that, and then you meet, and the magic is gone, and the chemistry is a bust,” Callie explained, making Arizona chuckle.

“But we already met, Callie,” she noted.

“Yes, I know,” Callie said, and brought Arizona’s hand to her lips for a tender kiss. “And there were actual fireworks.”

“Indoors? In your apartment? I don’t think so,” Arizona teased.

“In my apartment, in my texts, in my calls. Even in my hospital, I think. Right?”

“In retrospect, yes,” Arizona admitted and earned a soft peck from Callie.

“Poor you,” Callie teased, “having fireworks with a dying girl.”

“Well aren’t I lucky that you lived,” Arizona teased.

“I think this situation is lucky all around,” Callie noted bittersweetly. “Speaking of around,” she said and started to turn, “maybe it’s time that you actually showed me arou… woah.”

“What, what is it?” Arizona turned around to follow Callie’s line of sight before her eyes widened in horror.

 “Hmm… what is that,” Callie pointed at paintings that carried her own face.

“Crap!” Arizona blurted out, hiding her face in her hands, making Callie chuckle.

“Arizona,” she grabbed the woman by the wrists, making her look at her. “Come on, it’s okay.”

“Are you regretting those kisses now? I bet you do. I bet you regret those kisses now.”

“Are you insane? How can anyone who’s not a complete moron regret **that**?!”

“You’re not creeped out?” Arizona asked, worried that the woman she was having all sorts of feelings for would walk out of the door before they even had a chance to become something, all because of a strategic error.

“A few months ago I might have thought this is creepy. But, now I just think it’s cute,” Callie brushed off.

“How come?” Arizona asked in surprise.

“Because I know you now and I know that you’re a total spaz,” Callie said with a smile, lacing both their hands together.

“I haven’t painted one since we met! I swear! And if I had known you’re coming I would’ve put them away.”

“Why did you stop after we met?” Callie asked curiously.

“Ummm… I think,” Arizona cleared her throat, “I think you were sort of a muse. You know? I got so used to people not knowing who I really was or caring if I was happy. I mean, friends and family aside, I gotta be fair, but just, random people, you know? Nothing was genuine anymore. People said they loved me, but it was a completely empty declaration. And then I met you and I thought before I entered that room that I’d just be there for like thirty minutes. But you were captivating, Callie.”

“I was sick, Arizona,” Callie countered sadly.

“You were thin, and pale, and beautiful.”

“Arizona…”

“No, I mean it. But it wasn’t just that. You were brave, and direct, and you cared. You truly cared. And those thirty minutes turned into hours and I didn’t want to go because I thought that’d be the last time I ever saw you.”

Callie nodded in sad understanding waiting for Arizona to continue because she could see there was more.

“It was such a special day for me, Callie. Almost like an epiphany. And not much had changed since but I wanted it to, more than ever. And I didn’t want to forget you. How you looked. So I started painting you. These are all of it, though. That last one,” she pointed, “I was supposed to throw away. I painted it two days before I came to see you. You started to fade away. It made me really sad.”

“But then you found me,” Callie responded in a near whisper.

“And then I found you. And I don’t need a painting to remember anymore.”

“No. You don’t.”

“Still think it’s not creepy?”

“I actually think it’s kinda sexy,” Callie leaned in for a kiss that conveyed a lot of things that were still left unsaid.

“Come on,” Arizona said after they broke apart, “I really want to show you around. I want to show you everything.”

* * *

Arizona showed Callie around before they eventually flopped on the sofa in the living room which is where they’d been for the past few hours, spending most of the time making out.

“We deserve this,” Arizona mumbled in between kisses.

“Yes, we do,” Callie replied breathlessly.

“But honestly, Calliope,” Arizona pulled back, “it’s your birthday. You sure you’re okay spending it stuck here with me?” Arizona asked in concern.

“Where else would I wanna be when my favorite girl is right here?” Callie teased. She understood what came with the territory of being Arizona’s… whatever and it was too soon to subject themselves to that.

“We deserve some alone time,” she voiced her thoughts.

“That we do,” Arizona agreed. “Drink with me?”

“I shouldn’t. I drank on the plane to calm my nerves,” Callie admitted.

“Aww, do I make you nervous, Calliope Torres?” Arizona flirted.

“You make me all sorts of things, Arizona Robbins,” Callie noted, pecking Arizona’s lips.

“Well, when did your flight come in?”

“After midnight, Arizona, you know that,” Callie provided making Arizona huff. “Your ‘it’s a new day’ logic is not gonna work.”

“Well, drink with me today and nothing for the rest of the week. We gotta celebrate,” Arizona reasoned.

“I thought that’s exactly what we’ve been doing since I got here,” Callie teased.

“I just don’t want you to miss out.”

“Do I look like I’m missing out?” Callie asked then climbed on top of Arizona, leaning in to kiss her. “And now? Am I missing out now?”

“Fine! Fine! I’m trying to spoil you but you’re a party pooper.”

“I don’t think that I am,” Callie leaned in for yet another kiss.

“Hey,” Arizona finally said, “you never told me why you went home.”

Callie sighed.

“I might be a party pooper but you’re a mood killer. My parents? Really? When I’m kissing you?”

“I’m just worried, Callie. You haven’t said much.”

“Well,” Callie started and sat up, “they wanted me to come down there. I was raised Catholic, Arizona. When my father asks me to come see him, I can’t refuse no matter how upset I am. And he **has** been paying for my entire life for months now, no questions asked.”

“Understandable. So you went down there and then what?”

“They wanted me to move back home, to Miami that is. Among some other logistical discussions about funds, and wills and whatnot. Boring post ‘you were supposed to die but you haven’t and now it’s time that we talk about it’ stuff.”

“Wait, you’re moving to Miami?” Arizona asked in concern. She didn’t know why she cared. It wouldn’t make a difference for her. But she liked Callie’s apartment a lot and somehow she got the feeling Callie wouldn’t be happy in Miami.

“Are you kidding? I said that’s what **they** wanted. I love New York and if I ever left it I’d come here to be near you… and Addison,” she added quickly. “Mark would kill me, though.”

Arizona let Callie’s slip go unmentioned though it made her stomach flip in all sorts of ways.

“Phew.”

“Phew?” Callie asked in amusement.

“I love your apartment. And most importantly, you love your apartment. I’ll come visit you no matter where you are, though.”

“Thanks, you’re sweet,” Callie said gently and pecked Arizona’s lips again.

“So will and fun stuff?” Arizona asked.

“Yeah. They think that now when I have a new outlook on life I should go through all my cancer days documents and... re-evaluate. They wanted to give me more money. I think it’s the guilt. But they keep calling it an emergency fund. Whatever. They also took me to see a priest regarding my gayness.”

“Oh, no.”

“Oh, yes. It’s not the first time. This one was much more subtle, though, so I’m thinking we’re making some progress. I even told them I sort of met someone and my mom didn’t excuse herself from the room. Small victories, you know?”

“Sounds like big victories, Callie. One day at the time.”

“When did you come out?” Callie asked suddenly. “Was it really at fourteen like you always say in interviews? Or is this just to paint a perfect picture, no pun intended,” she added, looking at the paintings.

“I **did** come out at fourteen. I just really have known forever. And it **was** pretty smooth. I told Tim first. I’ll never forget it. He smirked at me like he always knew.”

“Did he?” Callie asked with a soft smile, happy that Arizona was talking about her brother.

“Oh, yeah, absolutely,” Arizona declared, making them both giggle.

“Mom came next. But that took another year. And then daddy. If he could bend for me, such an annoyingly stubborn man, I’m sure your father will come around, too, Callie.”

“He’s starting to, I think,” Callie admitted.

“Good,” Arizona stated and they sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, fingers laced.

“Who did you tell first?” Arizona asked.

“Addison,” Callie deadpanned.

“What? But I thought you went to business school together,” Arizona replied in surprise.

“We did. Not everyone is as perfect as Arizona Robbins,” Callie teased, knowing full well that she was annoying the other woman. “Some of us were late bloomers,” she said more seriously.

“Well, as long as you’re here now,” Arizona offered softly, caressing her cheek.

“Exactly,” Callie said and hummed in satisfaction at Arizona’s touch.

“You told your best friend first and I told mine,” Arizona noted sadly.

“Tim was your best friend,” Callie stated.  It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah, up until he got himself killed in Afghanistan,” Arizona said bitterly, and Callie hugged her closer.

“I’m sorry, Sweetie. How long ago was this?”

“Six years ago. It was his last deployment, too,” Arizona explained, a sad smile on her face.

“I don’t mean to sound selfish but is it weird that I wish I’ve known you back then? So I could be there for you?” Callie asked softly.

“No. I sometimes wish I knew you before the cancer so I could be there for you, too.”

“I’d never want you to go through that, Arizona. Watching the person you… care about going through that.”

“Well, it was in the past, so it’s irrelevant. But for future reference, your concern has been noted and is appreciated. Luckily, it’s not your decision to make,” Arizona said and Callie knew there was a promise behind these words, even if they couldn’t point it out yet.

Her phone buzzed, piercing their bubble.

Callie checked the text.

“It’s Addie. I’m gonna have to go soon. I promised her this evening and a few hours tomorrow before I fly out.”

“Boo!” Arizona whined.

“I know, but it’s my birthday. She was the person who **really** took care of me when I was sick. This is her day, too,” Callie explained.

Arizona nodded in understanding. She was happy Callie had such a loyal friend. Not to mention she owed a lot to Addison Montgomery. She brought her and Callie together, twice, and Arizona knew she was still Callie’s top priority as the early morning home invasion showed so many hours ago.

“Why are you even flying out tomorrow?” Arizona asked bitterly.

“Because if I don’t make myself go, I never will. And I need to wrap things up in Miami. Plus, I didn’t know how this would go. And in case it didn’t go well I wanted to be far,” Callie admitted.

“I personally think it went very well,” Arizona announced, making Callie laugh.

“Okay,” Callie kissed Arizona’s forehead and got up, “I should go be a decent friend.”

“See her tomorrow,” Arizona tried to convince her. “Stay? Please?” The last thing she wanted was to be apart from Callie again.

“I can’t.”

“Why not? Addison will understand, and will still get you for herself tomorrow.”

“It’s not just about Addison, Arizona. If I stay, I won’t be able to stop myself and things will happen.”

“And what’s so bad about that?” Arizona asked in disappointment. She **really** wanted things to happen.

“Arizona Robbins, you might not know this about me, but I’m an old fashioned gal. I didn’t even take you on a proper date yet.”

“Callie, we’ve known each other for a year and a half.”

“Technically, we only actually known each other for six months.”

“Exactly!”

“Exactly nothing Arizona. I didn’t give you a first date.”

“Nor can you.”

“Wait, what?”

“We won’t be able to have a single peaceful moment.”

“Are you kidding me right now? I know it’s tricky but are you telling me I’m not gonna be able to take you out, ever?”

“I didn’t say ever… I just, Callie, this feels awful sometimes. Being chased down a street or followed into a restaurant. It was **my** choice. I don’t want to subject you to this.”

“Well, you are **my** choice, so whatever happens, it comes with the territory. Hmm… just like cancer!”

“Okay,” Arizona said, knowing that she lost, but that she actually won, because Callie was making her a promise, too. “But maybe we can do something in New York first? I’ll sneak over on a weekend soon. Oh! I can get us a nice hotel!” Then she saw Callie was glaring at her as if sex was the only thing on Arizona’s mind.  She quickly added “then we’ll spend a day and a half together, doing different activities that aren’t sex!”

“Sounds good.”

“And **then** we can have sex,” Arizona finished quite pleased with herself.

“You’re like a sixteen year old boy, Arizona.”

“Callie, please,” Arizona said and put her hand on Callie’s stomach underneath her shirt. The other woman whimpered. “I’m not the only one who wants this. Badly.”

Callie stood up in an instant.

“Aaand time to go,” she announced, lacing her hands in Arizona’s and leading them to the door.

They stood in front of each other for a moment, not ready to say goodnight yet.

“Callie?” Arizona asked softly and Callie could see something was brewing under the surface.

“Yeah?” she said. Something was brewing under the surface for her, too.

“I have to ask this one time and then never bring it up again. This isn’t some post near death experience thing for you, is it? Get it on with the star?” Arizona looked so torn and Callie knew that it was a combination of not wanting to hurt Callie’s feelings, but also wanting to protect herself.

“Arizona,” she said and laced both their hands, “I think we established how I feel about carpe diem already.” She smiled softly and got a similar smile in return. “No, this isn’t me just getting it on with the star. This is me, falling for you,” she spoke with so much sincerity that Arizona’s heart beat faster.

“Okay,” she finally said.

Callie wanted to tell her more, she wanted to tell her that after five months of getting to know each other so intimately, she loved her. And maybe a year and a half ago, when there was borrowed time and no consequences, she would have. But after only seeing Arizona for a handful of times, she couldn’t. And that was a good thing. She got a second chance. They both did. So she tried a different tactic.

“Okay?” she asked. “Okay as in – this isn’t just you trying to find some excitement in your mostly fake environment by getting it on with a recently resurrected girl?”

“No,” Arizona chuckled at Callie’s antics but got serious again straight away. “No, this is most definitely me falling for you, too.”


	8. Chapter 7

“Hey, Beautiful,” the voice on the other side of the line made Arizona grin stupidly.

“Hey, yourself. It’s nice that your voice is the first thing I hear in the morning.”

“It’s not morning when I talk to you. But I do love hearing your voice last thing before I go to bed at night.”

“Which is never really night for me.”

“Right. Long distance sucks,” Callie pointed out. “That said, it’s better than Belarus.”

“Count our blessings?” Arizona offered.

“Words to live by, oh, Pretty One,” Callie replied, making Arizona giggle. “So, you’re still coming next weekend, you think?”

“I’m still coming next weekend, **I know**. That hasn’t changed since I told you that two days ago,” Arizona teased.

“I know, but you just told me that because **you** wanted to come. It didn’t mean that your schedule will actually be clear.”

“It’ll be clear, Callie. I gave April a notice. You just try and be back from Miami by then.”

“I’m flying out tomorrow. Three additional days here were more than enough. But I think you’re right. I think something’s shifting with my parents. They smile at me way too much, but wait, no, I digress. Can I have April’s number?”

“What do you need April’s number for, Callie?” Arizona asked suspiciously.

“I can hear your doubting tone all the way to the East Coast, Arizona.”

“Well? Why do you wanna talk to her?” Arizona demanded.

“Hmm, maybe because I wanna take my girlfriend on a first date without her knowing all the details beforehand?” Callie offered but got no reaction. “Look, I know I said that I wanna take care of everything, and I know it doesn’t matter to you either way, but it does to me. I told you, I’m old fashioned and I wasn’t **entirely** kidding. And there’s this place I **really** wanna take you. It’s small, and kind of secret, and exclusive. It can sit maybe twenty-five people at a time, and you gotta be a past customer or a friend of one to even have the phone number to make a reservation. Now, I’m not a cheater, I wouldn’t ask her to score us something that I wouldn’t have gotten otherwise, because I **am** a past customer and I **do** have the number. But you’re coming on a weekend and those are booked like a month ahead of time, so April’s interference as your manager would really help. I know you hate all the famous stuff, but this place has such amazing food, and is pretty intimate. It’s so great for good conversations, and everything is pretty. It’s one of my favorite restaurants in town but I only go there on special occasions and this **is** one. So, okay?”

When a few seconds later there was still no reaction, Callie was confused. “Arizona? You still there?”

“Wait,” a response finally came, “so I’m your girlfriend?”

“Seriously? Did you listen to a word of what I just said?” Callie asked, almost offended.

“Am I?” The other woman demanded.

“Arizona, what do you think?” Callie smirked.

“I think I am. You said ‘girlfriend,’ so it means you think I’m your girlfriend,” Arizona explained matter-of-factly.

“Yes, right. Then you said ‘I think I am’ which means you, too, think you’re my girlfriend,” Callie deadpanned.

“I… I just like the sound of it,” Arizona admitted.

“Me too,” Callie agreed softly.

“I didn’t know we decided this, that’s why I was surprised. Pleasantly surprised!” She was quick to add.

“Yeah, I think it was kind of decided **for** us,” Callie remarked.

“By the world?”

“And a bunch of really **really** great kisses.”

“Hmm… yeah,” Arizona hummed.

“You’re seeing it in your head, aren’t you?”  Callie inquired, a huge grin spread on her face.

“No comment.”

“So, April’s phone number?”

* * *

Callie stared at her phone not entirely sure how to proceed.

“Get a grip, Torres,” she encouraged herself.

She was nervous. All she had to do was call April and ask for her help and the sooner the better. There was a chance that not even the power of Arizona’s name would be enough to win against the popularity of Bohemian, but Callie really wanted everything to be perfect for their first date. Arizona was a romantic, it was so clear in everything she did. Those big gestures of just showing up and baring her heart when she hardly even knew Callie, showed deeper tendencies. Tendencies that Callie shared. She wanted to show Arizona that she could make first moves, too. That’s why she was so glad the whole girlfriend thing happened. Callie knew that now Arizona had to realize just how deep Callie felt for her. How much she wanted her. How much she wanted to **be** with her. But it also made the task at hand that much more difficult.

“Why does it feel like I’m meeting her parents for the first time? It’s just her manager! I’m not asking for her blessing! I’m a grown woman!”

“Are you talking to yourself again?” Mark’s voice made her jump as he flopped down on the sofa next to her.

“How much of that did you hear?” She demanded.

“Something about Blondie’s folks? That’s kinda fast, isn’t it?” Mark asked in real concern.

“Don’t call her Blondie and I’m not meeting the parents yet. I just need to call her manager to score us a spot at Bohemian for next weekend and I feel weird about it.”

“Getting a spot for next week? Yeah, that **is** weird on the verge of delusional. But Maybe Arizona’s manager can… manage. Heh,” he chuckled, amused by his own joke.

“No, Mark! The calling part! That’s the hard part!” Callie shouted.

“Ah? Why?”  He asked in confusion.

“Because… I don’t know. Meeting people from her life, makes it all kinda of…really big and really real,” she sighed.

“Well, isn’t it real?”

“It’s… it’s insanely real. Is it crazy?” Callie asked in worry.

“A bit, but we have had a crazy last few years, Cal. You survived a lot and I’m guessing she had to endure some stuff too with her profession. And you know, she met me, she met Addie. I think she’d really like it if you meet some of her people, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re right. I didn’t think about it that way. We’re showing each other more and more parts of our lives. That’s important. It means a lot.”

“You two are showing parts, ah?” The man grinned victoriously.

“Suck it, Mark. I knew five minutes of a heart to heart were too much for your dirty mind.”

“Loath and disappointment. My work here is done. Call the manager!” He challenged, patted her knee, got up and went to the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” Callie asked, puzzled.

“To get a beer, of course.”

“Wouldn’t it just be easier if you kept your liquor in your own apartment?” Callie pointed out.

“Nah, I like the excuse to drop by unannounced, at any given time,” he noted.

“Well the only person I‘m okay with dropping by at any given time is Arizona.”

“It’s not fair,” Mark whined.

“She’s a hot woman with whom I’m soon to be sexually involved, god willing. Of course it’s fair. Now go away, Mark.”

“Laters!” he said and walked to the door.

“Mark?” She stopped him, softly.

“Yeah?”

“Thank you,” she nodded.

“Always. And I mean it. At any given time. As long as I get beer,” he gestured with the beverage in his hand and left, not entirely missing Callie rolling her eyes at him.

* * *

“So let me get this straight.”

“Okay.”

“Not only am I taking crazy orders from Arizona, she’s now sending her special lady friend…”

“Girlfriend is just fine,” Callie cut her off.

“Fine,” April gritted her teeth.  “Her **girlfriend**. The miraculously resurrected, been around for months but only seen twice”

“Four times.”

“Girlfriend.”

“Yes.”

“To also give me crazy orders? Which in this case is to get a table for two in a super tiny, super exclusive New York City restaurant, which is always booked for weekends weeks ahead of time.”

“Essentially, I guess so,” Callie confirmed, unmoved.

“There’s only a week until then, Callie! Why did you **just** call me? Arizona has been telling me she was going to be away a week ago after you caused that little security drama.” April was at the end of her rope. For as long as she represented Arizona, she couldn’t recall the actress being in a long-term, serious relationship. But Arizona was also her friend and she knew that’s where this was headed.

“You heard about that, ah?” Callie asked, embarrassed.

“Of course I did. They have to report to me when an incident like this happens!” She all but shouted.

“Okay, look. I’m sorry I waited a whole week. I shouldn’t have, but, you’re important,” Callie tried to explain.

“Huh?”

“You really matter to Arizona,” Callie clarified.

“I do? I mean... You know it!”

“I kinda felt like I was meeting her parents for the first time.

“Okay, not where I thought this was going, and I’m way too young but…”

“No, I mean ..." Callie interrupted April before she could finish. She was screwing this up, ugh! "Look, you're the first person from Arizona's life that I have met. Well, sort of.”

“Oh, I see,” April said in understanding.

“Yeah. So, it was a big deal. Took me time to get with the program. Which, I should’ve done sooner, because this needs to be perfect, and I really want to take her there and…”

“Okay, okay, Callie? Let me stop you right there. I appreciate what you just said. I’ll do my best. Between the fact that you’re a regular…”

“ish.”

“ **and** Arizona being who she is…”

“Who she is is really pretty,” Callie swooned dreamily.

“Right, and relevant, anyways, I’m trying to say I’ll make it happen. Okay?”

“Okay,” Callie sighed in relief. “Thank you, April.”

“No problem. Oh, and Callie?”

“Yeah?”

“If you hurt her or cause any PR mess that **I’d** need to clean, I’m coming after you.”

She could swear she heard the woman on the other side of the line gulp.

“Understood,” Callie finally said.

“You have a lovely day now,” April wished in her happiest voice.

“You too, thanks again! Bye,” Callie hung up without waiting for a reply.

And then Callie was gone. April couldn’t help but giggle. She was pretty sure that Callie was terrified.

_Oh, if only she knew how I looked like. Well, she has a really soothing voice, I’ll give her that._

She spun in her chair once and picked up the phone to take care of the pending date.

“This is so not in my job description.” She whined to herself.

* * *

“Hi,” Arizona hummed as her lips left those of the woman in front of her.

“Hi,” Callie mirrored. “More hi,” she added as she leaned in for a second kiss.

Both women breathed out in ease when they separated.

“I really like that I can say hello to you like this,” Arizona admitted.

“I know what you mean. Come here.” Callie wrapped her hands around Arizona’s hips and took her into a hug. They stood like that right by Callie’s door for a few moments, basking, absorbing each other.

“We’ll never go anywhere if we’ll keep this going,” Arizona mumbled into Callie’s hair, inhaling the scent of her shampoo.

“No. We have too. April would kill me otherwise and I don’t want the only friend of yours I know to hate me.”

“She won’t hate you, and if you keep kissing me like this, you’ll know more of my friends soon enough,” Arizona promised.

“Yeah?” Callie asked, a soft smile decorating her face.

“Of course. Come on.”

She grabbed Callie’s hand with hers, and her overnight bag in the other, and walked right in, ignoring Callie’s ramble about not letting her carry the bag and how chivalry was dead.

“I just don’t get how tonight’s gonna work,” Arizona said, dropping her bag on the sofa. “I thought I’d get the hotel and we could do the whole picking up thing, but then you told me to come here first.”

“No hotels, Arizona,” Callie warned.

“What? What do you mean no hotels? You planned the date, I plan the accommodations, remember?”

“Arizona, you’re standing in the accommodations right now.”

“But, Callie…” Arizona whined.

“We’re not going to a hotel, Arizona. We’re a normal couple, remember? A normal couple on a date night don’t act like mistresses. You have a girlfriend with an apartment in New York.”

“But, what about the view?” Arizona challenged.

Callie dragged her to the bedroom, which Arizona never really seen before, and opened the curtains to show the Empire State Building illuminated by sunset.

“Ah. I guess I missed that part of the tour,” Arizona commented offhandedly.

“You never had the tour. You were too busy being crazy,” Callie said in a very serious tone.

“That’s… that’s probably true,” the other woman admitted. “Okay, so view – check, but then what about the no sex on the first date part?”

“First of all,” Callie started, walking slowly towards Arizona, “we can always cuddle. And second of all,” she stood extremely close to the other woman and leaned in to bite her neck, gently, “all I said was no sex **before** the first date. Didn’t say anything about after.”

Arizona whimpered as she said “sold.”

“Hotel wouldn’t have caused us to have less sex, Arizona. Okay, so, we’re gonna get dressed in separate rooms,” Callie continued, sending her hand to the small of Arizona’s back and underneath her shirt, “then we’re gonna walk hand in hand to my car,” she went on with her hand traveling higher.

“I… I can get us car service,” Arizona let out breathlessly.

“Nope, my car,” Callie decided, adding a second hand to Arizona’s hip, traveling up with that hand too, “and then we’ll have an amazing dinner, and then,” she finished by leaning in to kiss her girlfriend who was lost in a daze.

“Hmm… okay.” Arizona’s voice was barely audible between kisses.

They broke their kiss off, foreheads leaning.

“You’re a very good planner,” Arizona complimented, making Callie laugh lightly.

“Happy to be of service.”

“So, **so happy** ,” Arizona agreed.

* * *

“Okay, this is a dark sketchy building, and this is a closed butcher shop. Where the hell are you taking me, Callie? Maybe your plan was to murder me all along.”

“Not before I have sex with you, Arizona, come on, be reasonable,” Callie teased and took Arizona’s hand in hers, leading her down a dark hallway.

They reached a glass door but still couldn’t see the inside because of the decorations. Callie smiled reassuringly and buzzed the bell. A door opened and Arizona could finally hear light music, the chatter of conversation, and the clinking of silver coming from the inside.

“Good evening,” Callie started, “we have a reservation under Torres, or possibly Robbins.”

“Ah, yes. Hello ladies. We’ve been expecting you. We collected the cell phones of the other patrons to accommodate your manager’s request. We’re really glad to have you here tonight.”

“Score,” Arizona whispered under her breath. “Go April.”

“If you follow me, I’ll show you to your table.”

She led them maybe five steps before they were seated, getting curious looks from the other people in the tiny, living room-like, restaurant.

“That’s… that’s new,” Callie noted, realizing everyone was staring at them.

“Why, they’re only reacting to the fact that a hot brunette walked into the room,” Arizona winked, checking her surroundings. “That can’t be a new sensation for you.”

“Sweet talker,” Callie chuckled.

“So, tell me all I need to know,” Arizona ordered with a glint in her eye.

“Okay, so, this is Bohemian. Japanese cuisine, basically, but a lot of mainstream American food, too. Notice our pretty, unmatched handkerchiefs and our scented towels.”

“Mmm… Lemony,” Arizona hummed, following Callie’s instructions and smelling the towel.

A waiter showed up and left them menus. It was quite evident that he was nervous in Arizona’s presence. Callie observed the whole two-second-long encounter and couldn’t help but laugh.

“Shut up, Calliope. What’s good in here?”

“Everything. We can split some stuff. But we’re most **definitely** getting the fried sweet potatoes as one of our appetizers,” Callie announced.

“That good, ah?” Arizona smiled smittenly.

“You have no idea,” Callie winked.

A few minutes and additional encounter with the stuttering waiter later, they made their orders and leaned back in peace.

“Calliope, you sure you don’t want to get a cocktail? After how much you raved about the drinks in this place…”

“I’m okay, Arizona. I’ll take a couple of sips from yours,” Callie assured her.

“Okay, I just want you to have a good time,” Arizona supplied with a small frown which Callie found adorable.

“You know,” she laced their fingers over the table, “you really don’t need to get me drunk in order to get lucky later.”

Arizona gulped.

“I really, **really** wanna enjoy this evening, Callie. Stop making me wish it was over.”

Callie couldn’t help but laugh out loud at that, which brought all the curious eyes back to them. The place couldn’t have contained more than twenty five people, but those who were there did a very poor job at hiding the fact that they were staring at Arizona.

“I know fame sucks, Arizona, but I gotta say - everyone in here wishes they were me right now. That’s… that’s nice. And weird. But in a nice way.”

“Well, I’m quite happy being myself at the moment, so not **everyone** here wishes they were you,” Arizona stated casually making Callie smile. “I really like this place, Calliope. Thanks for bringing me here.”

“You’re welcome,” Callie said softly, drawing soothing circles on Arizona’s palm. “The only thing is… it takes a bit of time for the food to come because there’s only one chef who makes everything.”

“That’s actually really cool, this place is so intimate. It’s a really nice vibe,” Arizona observed.

“It is. Notice the art on the wall? It’s always changing. But that tiny Japanese garden right behind you is always here. As is the ceiling window right above your head,” Callie mentioned smugly, causing Arizona’s head to jerk up.

“Oh, wow, that’s so pretty.”

“Yeah, and honestly, I don’t even know what we’re looking at. It can be a backyard for all we know, but it’s still really nice.”

“That it is,” Arizona agreed.

“Now, the bathroom, that’s basically a sci-fi movie with like fifteen buttons, so don’t get overwhelmed when you go,” Callie mentioned sheepishly.

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind,” Arizona chuckled. “No getting overwhelmed by the bathroom.”

“Yes. And, did you know this place was Andy Warhol’s studio?”

“No, Callie, I had no way of knowing that since you didn’t tell me where we were going. However, who’s the nerd now?” Arizona asked with a raised eyebrow, hoping to get a blush from the other woman. But Callie didn’t budge.

“I’m not ashamed, Arizona. I embrace it. I thought the gifted painter in you would appreciate it.”

“Oh, I appreciate it, I appreciate all of it,” Arizona flirted, making Callie hum in satisfaction. “What?” Arizona asked.

“This. Us,” Callie explained. “It’s just, it’s been so long since I’ve been in an actual serious relationship. I forgot how good it feels when it’s…”

“Right?”

“Yeah,” Callie finished with a smile.

“I feel the exact same way, Calliope. I don’t think I was **this** excited about being with someone since my career sort of launched. But you really, **really** excite me. I’m always looking forward to see you.”

“I missed the butterflies,” Callie admitted. “They didn’t pay me a visit for a really long time.”

“I love butterflies,” Arizona agreed, just as their food arrived and the waiter bolted again.

“Poor guy,” Callie chuckled.

“You mean poor me. Can’t even go out to have a nice dinner with my girlfriend without being surrounded by people stumbling all over themselves,” Arizona countered, snobbishly.

“Yes, Arizona. Poor poor you. Sitting in one of New York City’s finest restaurants, about to have a foodgasm, and probably another type of gasm later, but until all of the above, having a really nice conversation with someone whom apparently you’re really excited about. I feel for you, I do.”

As Callie concluded her sarcastic rant, the restaurant’s door opened and another couple walked in. They were led to their table but on the way, they came face to face with Arizona. They stopped in their tracks and stared at the actress with their mouths agape.

“Hi,” Arizona said politely.

“Hi,” one of the women answered and blushed. She took her shocked partner’s hand and dragged her away in embarrassment. Arizona followed them go and turned to Callie, giving her a smug look.

“You were saying?”

“You’re pretty terrible, you know that?”

“Please, you love me,” Arizona brushed off casually without noticing what she said. Then, she did, and Callie and her stared at one another without saying a word.

Callie cleared her throat. “Okay, you gotta try this,” she pointed at the sweet potatoes. “And look at the risotto, the dish looks like a violin. How awesome is that?”

 _She didn’t confirm it_ , Arizona thought, _But she didn’t deny it either_. She smiled. She knew what that meant.

* * *

They enjoyed the food, and the company, and before they noticed, it was two hours and at least six dishes later. Desert included.

“Oh, hey, I waited until tonight to tell you and then I totally forgot! I just booked a new movie yesterday. I’m going to play a pirate. How cool is that? But please, for the love of god, don’t start calling me captain,” Arizona pleaded.

“hmmm…” was all of Callie’s reply.

“What are you thinking, Callie?”

“You as a pirate? I’m thinking it’s hot is what I’m thinking,” Callie supplied without a second thought.

“I can live with that.”

“So what you’re saying is… that you’re the captain now?” Callie asked in a horrible thick accent.

“Aaaand sexy moment ruined. Good job, Callie.”

“I never disappoint,” Callie promised and winked making Arizona giggle.

Arizona took a moment to appreciate how much fun she was having with Callie. She realized she hadn’t felt so free in such a long time. It put a huge smile on her face.

“Calliope, I’m really glad you insisted on this. I’m having a great time. And it’s nice to be out like this with someone I… someone important.”

“ **You’re** someone important,” Callie teased. “We’ve been reminded of that numerous times tonight.”

“Callie…”

“I’m kidding. Tonight is wonderful. Great food, great girlfriend. I, ah… I have a gift for you.”

“I didn’t get you anything,” Arizona pouted.

“Oh, it’s not that kind of gift, Arizona,” Callie soothed.

“Is it a pony?”

“Yes, a pony in a brown envelope,” Callie mocked as she took out the envelope in question and handed it to Arizona.

“What is it?” The other woman asked curiously.

“I… I’ve been writing when you were in Belarus. It’s the first thing I’ve written in years.”

“Callie! That’s amazing! All that people watching finally paid off?”

“Yeah, I guess you can say I’ve been inspired lately,” Callie smiled softly.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I’ve been back for like three weeks.”

“It wasn’t finished. I just finished it a couple of days ago and I wanted to give this to you tonight. It’s… I mean, it’s just a short story, but it’s a start,” Callie mumbled.

“It’s huge, Callie. I can’t wait to read it. Maybe tomorrow morning, in bed, while you’re still asleep and I glance at you creepily every other second.”

“I like the sound of that. I think.”

The check came a few minutes later and when Arizona tried to take her purse out, her hand was brushed off by Callie’s.

“Nope, Missy, no way,” Callie declared.

“Oh, come on, Callie. You took me out tonight, I’m your guest, let me take care of it.”

“That’s right, **I** took you out tonight and you’re my girlfriend, not my guest. I have shit tons of money, Arizona, remember?  Let me do this outing right.”

“Okay. I guess chivalry isn’t dead after all,” she winked, earning a dazzling smile in return.

* * *

They barely made it to Callie’s door before both shirts disappeared on the living room’s floor and hands roamed through new territories.

Just when Callie was about to unclasp Arizona’s bra, an act that she dreamed about constantly for months, Arizona’s phone rang.

“Shit,” Arizona let out breathlessly.

“Ignore it,” Callie demanded, capturing Arizona’s mouth in hers again.

“I can’t. Not at this hour. It’s a PTSD thing. It’s always important at this hour,” Arizona said apologetically and backed away from Callie. “Take it from the girl with the dead brother,” she explained.

“The girl who had cancer understands,” Callie promised and waited patiently but also now a bit worried, to see what the phone call was all about.

“April? What’s wrong is everything okay? Yeah, yeah, dinner was amazing, thanks for your help. We owe you,” Arizona looked at Callie and smiled. “Wait, what? April, it’s a weekend. Can’t they wait until Monday? Well, can’t I scan and email it to them? I mean come on, this is ridiculous, I’m in New York with my girlfriend. A legal thing? Since when? Is this just some lame power play?”

Arizona sighed heavily and Callie already knew what it meant.

“Fine, but by the time I show up you better have negotiated a raise just due to this BS. This is not okay. Yes, I mean it, April. You’ll get more too for having to deal with this on a Saturday night. Okay. When? Crap. Fine. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she concluded and Callie’s heart sank.

“Nope, don’t say it,” Callie begged.

“Calliope, I’m sorry. This is totally ridiculous not to mention unprofessional. The production company of this new movie wants to announce on Monday and for that we need to sign the contract tomorrow. And it has to be in person because of some legal crap. I’m so, **so** sorry,” she apologized, seeming both crushed and flustered at the same time. “My flight is in two hours.”

 “Are you serious?” Callie whined. “Not again!”

“At least we actually had the date part this time,” Arizona sighed and caressed her girlfriend’s cheek. “This is my life, Callie. It’s bound to happen sometimes. It **will** happen again one way or another. Is that okay?” They teased about it throughout their evening, but this was serious. Their evening was relatively eventless in the crazy fame department, but if they were going to be something serious, and it was very clear that they were, they had to be honest about what it actually meant.

“Arizona, I get it. It will happen and I’ll keep moping, just like I sometimes have to go to Miami, or actually need to get my life in order and can’t come to LA every other day and that’s a moping reason for you. We signed up for this. Both of us, right?”

“Right,” Arizona agreed, leaning in to kiss Callie. “I’m gonna read your story on the plane. It’s not as great as laying next to you on a lazy Sunday morning, but it’ll have to do for now.”

“Okay,” Callie huffed in disappointment. “I’ll fly over next weekend.”

“I’ll be all dolled up.”

* * *

Arizona was sitting by the window, waiting for take-off.

“Have a safe flight,” Callie told her before she left, “I… I’ll see you next weekend.”

They kissed, Arizona recalled as a shiver went down her spine.

_She almost said it. I know, because I almost said it, too. I kinda said it **for** her earlier._

She was wondering if it was too soon. But how could it be? They’ve known each other for months, became intimately close for months. They were so different but had so much in common. They only met up a few times, but she felt like she had known Callie forever, and when she was with Callie everything else vanished. She just hoped Callie felt the same way. She thought Callie did.

Moments later, she knew Callie did, because when she finally opened the envelope, and read the first page, she saw it was a dedication.

“You’re my muse, too,” it read, making Arizona’s face nearly split with a smile.

The story that followed was all about her.


	9. Chapter 8

She heard the car stop outside and knew it was her girlfriend since said girlfriend texted her a minute before to tell her the cab just turned into her street. Arizona jumped off her sofa and sprinted to the door.

It had only been two weeks, but when all you want is to bury your face in another person’s hair, two weeks are a very long time.

She ran down the access path and straight into the arms of the other woman, who was already half way to Arizona’s door, dragging a carry-on behind her. The carry-on dropped to the grass as Callie’s hands held the much more precious cargo, which was currently kissing her passionately.

Callie moaned in appreciation. _I definitely missed **this**. _

A moment later, two breathless women were leaning foreheads against each other, grinning widely.

“Hey, now,” Callie teased, still catching her breath, “if I learned anything from my last visit, it’s that big brother’s watching,” she chuckled, not the least concerned.

“Let him enjoy the show,” Arizona drew Callie in by the lapels of the blazer she was wearing and kissed her again.

“I never want to stop doing that,” she confessed after the kiss was over. “Also, a blazer? Hot. More of this business casual Calliope Torres in the future, please,” she said in a tone that evoked a demand more than a request.

“How about I show you what I brought and let you choose the combos? But maybe not in the middle of your lawn?” Callie offered.

Arizona gave her a big smile, laced their fingers together, and once Callie picked up her carry-on they walked the extra few steps into Arizona’s house.

“So,” Callie teased knowingly once they crossed the threshold, “What did you plan for us?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Arizona replied as she shut the door behind them and walked towards Callie looking highly predatory.  

 “Arizona Robbins, I take you out to a nice restaurant, pay for dinner, write you a story, and you planned nothing?” Callie asked in feigned hurt as the other woman reached her and put her hands around her waist.

“Oh, sorry, I planned **a lot** , just none of it is outside of this house,” Arizona explained matter-of-factly.

“Interesting. Tell me more,” Callie urged.

“As a matter of fact,” Arizona’s mouth now extremely close to Callie’s ear, “most of it won’t be outside of the bedroom,” she added. She took an earlobe into her mouth and sucked on it, earning a deep, frustrated moan from the other woman whose eyes were now shut.

Arizona kept playing with Callie’s earlobe and finally put her right hand flat on Callie’s stomach, under her shirt. Access was hard, so she paused momentarily, unbuttoned the single button on Callie’s blazer, and then repositioning her hand.

Callie’s eyes fluttered open for a moment and even with her blurry vision she noticed Arizona’s paintings were missing.

“The paintings are gone,” Callie pouted, making Arizona stop what she was doing and lean back to look at Callie.

“I don’t wanna talk about the stupid paintings right now,” Arizona clarified in a husky voice, making Callie swallow hard.

“Then, wh… what do you wanna do?” She asked innocently.

“I think you know,” Arizona’s eyes were locked with Callie’s as she started to gently push her back, straight into the bedroom.

Everything else, paintings, carry-ons, and the entire world, was forgotten.

* * *

“Holy shit,” Arizona said breathless as she rolled off of Callie. “This was…”

“Amazing, Arizona. I think amazing is the word you’re looking for,” Callie completed the sentence, trying to catch her breath as well.

“Or mind blowing, life altering, incredible. Any of those would suffice,” Arizona added, turning to look at the woman next to her, the woman who rocked her world in more ways than one.

“That good, huh?” Callie flirted smugly.

“ **So** good,” Arizona confirmed and snuggled into Callie’s body. The other woman accepted her with open arms. They never wanted to move. They simply lay there in a silent bliss, letting the magnitude of what just transpired between them sink in.

“I’m really glad we did this,” Callie hummed into Arizona’s hair.

“God, me too. Worth the wait?”

“Yes. Because this felt really special to me, Arizona,” Callie admitted vulnerably.

Arizona brought herself up so she could lean on her elbow and look directly into Callie’s eyes when she said “to me too, Calliope.” The other woman visibly relaxed as Arizona leaned in for a short, tender kiss.

“I could use the after-sex cigarette right about now,” Arizona blurted out.

“Eww, Arizona!” Callie winced, whining in disgust.

“But you’re intoxicating enough?” Arizona offered innocently.

“Nice try. This disgusting habit seems so… it doesn’t fit the image, you know,” Callie explained with a scowl between her eyes that Arizona really grew to love.

“I know,” Arizona winked, “that’s why I like it. Just a **bit** of a bad girl.”

“As if,” Callie snorted.

“Hey! Don’t ruin this for me. This was my little rebellious act against my dad who just kept dragging my family all around the globe. I was sixteen, I had to breakup with my first girlfriend, I wanted to piss him off,” Arizona defended.

“Nice,” Callie replied, unimpressed.

“That’s also when I learned I wasn’t caught up for long distance relationships,” Arizona admitted challengingly.

“And look at you now. How did that work out for you?” Callie teased, not taking the bait.

“It’s different, Calliope,” Arizona shifted from light to serious in an instant.

“Why?” Callie inquired. She wanted to hear the answer.

“Because it always feels like you’re close,” Arizona confessed with a shy smile on her face.

Callie caressed Arizona’s cheek and pecked her lips.

“I always am.”

* * *

“You know,” Callie started once they were done with round two, “your last painting, the one you did just before you found out I was alive…”

“Again with the painting!” Arizona groaned.

“…is my favorite,” Callie finished the sentence, rolling her eyes at her easily irritated girlfriend.

“Oh. Wait… what?” Arizona asked in confusion. “It’s the worst one. It looks nothing like you.”

“I love it **because** it’s more general, Arizona. It’s as if I was some dream that you dreamt.”

 “Some days I was certain that you were,” Arizona confessed sadly.

“Well, I’m right here,” Callie promised, lacing Arizona’s hand in hers and putting it on her chest right above her heart, letting the other woman feel her heartbeat.

“Yes, you are,” Arizona said happily, leaning in to steal a quick kiss. “And maybe one day I’ll even get to paint you when you’re present. And naked,” she visioned the scenario in her head.

“Hmm, no,” Callie deadpanned.

“Why not? I’m very good, remember? And your body is so beautiful,” Arizona noted, bringing the sheet up to steal a glance of what was under it, making Callie giggle.

“All true, but remember? Even Icloud is not our friend anymore,” she explained cheekily.

“This painting will never leave my house,” Arizona reasoned.

“Then what’s the point?”

“The point,” Arizona climbed on top of Callie, “is that I don’t use magazines when you’re not around.”

“Arizona Robbins! You look all innocent but you have a dirty mind,” Callie teased.

“You bring out this side of me,” Arizona brushed off and leaned in to give Callie a passionate kiss.

“You know,” Callie started once they broke the kiss, “I may have… hmmm…”

“What?” Arizona asked in confusion.

“I may or may not have pleased myself in the past with you in mind,” Callie admitted, biting her lip. She knew she’d have to make this confession at some point.

Arizona roared with laughter on top of her.  

“You think it’s funny? Doesn’t it creep you out that people do that? You know I’m not the only one,” Callie pointed out, confused by Arizona’s amusement.

“Does it creep me out that strangers do that? Oh, sing it. But to learn that my gorgeous girlfriend was fantasizing about me before we even met? God, that’s hot,” she said in a low voice, locking her eyes with Callie’s. No matter how many more rounds they’d have this weekend, nothing would be enough.

“You don’t think it’s embarrassing?” Callie asked in concern.

“Callie, I looked through your Facebook page and painted portraits of you when I thought you were dead. I think you’re fine,” Arizona reminded.

“Okay, you have a point. And all the unannounced visits and the craziness…”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t remind me. Just kiss me,” Arizona said leaning in again, but Callie moved her head.

“No, Arizona, we **have** to remember, because **you** did this. You made us,” Callie said seriously. “You are an insane person, you know that? But you almost single handedly made this happen.”

“Callie, that’s not true,” Arizona objected, putting her hand on Callie’s cheek.  “You put your trust in a crazy person, remember? It takes two to tango.”

“I didn’t know it back then, but I know now that I stayed alive for you,” Callie said in a near whisper making Arizona’s breath hitch. Their faces were so close, the moment so powerful. “I kept wondering how come things worked out the way they did, at the very last moment. But now I know. And I know that you’re not a religious person, but it’s okay. Because **I** know.”

“I might not be a religious person, but I know it too,” Arizona said quietly, making sure Callie believed her. The other woman looked at her intently for a few moments. “Calliope?” Arizona tried to understand where her girlfriend’s mind just went.

“You know that I’m in love with you, right?” Callie asked suddenly, making Arizona’s heart beat faster at the surprising admission. ”I mean… in that entirely, totally consuming sort of way?” Callie offered quietly, hoping beyond hope that it wasn’t too soon, or one sided, but when Arizona’s face split in the most dazzling smile Callie had ever seen, she knew that they were fine. More than fine.

“I’m **so** in love with you, too,” Arizona closed the distance between them for a deep kiss, full of emotions, loaded with the mutual revelation.

“I love you,” Arizona said between kisses, “I can’t remember ever feeling like this,” she added another kiss. Callie felt like her entire body was melting. The tingles went from her toes to the top of her head.

“I never thought I’d have this again,” Callie admitted sadly when they broke away. “I never thought I’d have anything again. And then you…” she choked and her eyes glazed. The emotional dam was open and the usual brave front was gone.

Arizona took Callie’s hand in hers, lacing their finger between them. She brought their connected hands to her mouth for a tender kiss.

“No, Callie, and then **you** ,” she offered, her voice dripping of sincerity.

Callie chuckled, giving them an escape from the over dramatic moment.

“What is it?” Arizona asked in amusement.

“I told you I loved you. Was **that** a big enough first move for you?”  Callie challenged, making Arizona laugh in realization.

“Yes,” she confirmed, pecking Callie’s lips.

“Good, because before we get too heavy, if that’s even possible, I also wanna say I’m pretty sure I stayed alive specifically so we could have all that awesome sex.”

“See, that actually seems even more reasonable,” Arizona replied in seriousness. “But really, how did this happen?” She wondered in awe, looking at the woman beneath her. “You and I? It’s crazy.”

“Again, I’m pretty convinced you made it all happen somehow, Arizona,” Callie chuckled, tightening her grip on her lover’s back.

“No. No. this was definitely both of us plotting against the universe together. I wouldn’t accept any other explanation,” Arizona determined.

“Fine by me,” Callie said and flipped them over.

They were ready for round three. And four and five.

* * *

“I love that I don’t need to walk on eggshells around you anymore,” Arizona blurted out. It was the following day yet it seemed like they haven’t moved from their entangled position at all. “I mean with all the cancer stuff. Or the serious stuff. I feel like I can talk to you about anything, and I used to be such a mess around you. It’s just nice. Not walking on eggshells around you anymore,” she explained tenderly, making Callie snort.

“What?” Arizona asked with a pout. There she was, baring her heart, and her girlfriend was snickering at her.

“Please,” Callie waved her off, “like you ever did. Remember… first time we met? Mention of my hair and how I wasn’t missing it? I believe the score was World – 7 Robbins – 0 by the time you left.”

“Well, **I** believe I finally scored once,” Arizona flirted, lowering her mouth, starting at Callie’s sternum and going down, making her girlfriend shiver.

“That was way after, Smartass,” Callie said, fighting the growing feeling in the pit of her stomach as Arizona’s hand traveled down. “And if we’re so very nuanced, it was technically seven times,” Callie said in delight. “And speaking about scoring, I told you before, I deserve **all** the pretty things.”

“Shut up, Dead Girl,” Arizona demanded, ready to score for the eighth time. But before she could go any further, a hand on top of hers stopped her.

“I’m sorry, what did you call me?” Callie asked in shock.

“Hmm… nothing?” Arizona offered innocently.

“Have you been calling me Dead Girl this whole time?” Callie asked in horror.

“Yes, but only behind your back!” Arizona tried, embellishing her statement with a huge smile.

“Arizona!” Callie scolded.

“I’m sorry! At first I was just frustrated and mad at you, and then, it kinda… stuck?”

“Unstick it! You can **not** call me Dead Girl in front of our kids!” Callie demanded.

“Wait, you want to have kids with me?” Arizona’s smile got even bigger.

“Eventually. I mean, we **have** known each other for a year and a half,” Callie tried to belittle the whole thing.

“Technically…” Arizona tried to object.

“Shut up.”

“That’s **my** line,” Arizona teased.

“You know how when couples have been together long enough they start to act the same?”

“We’ve been together for a month,” Arizona deadpanned.

“Technically…” Callie tried.

“Shut up,” Arizona cut her off.

“Yes, that’s what I thought.”

* * *

“I’ve brought you another story,” Callie told Arizona a few hours later, still in bed, of course.

“Really?” Arizona propped up in excitement. “How come you’re just mentioning it now?”

“Does it look like I got to the unpacking point at all this weekend?” Callie teased.

“No. So much fun,” Arizona decided and kissed Callie’s cheek. “I can’t wait to read it. The previous one was so good. Are you just gonna give me a new story every time you see me now?” She teased, hopeful.

“I’ll try,” Callie promised. That’s what she had in mind anyways. “Which means some of them will be sucky. A week or two aren’t a long time. But it’s a good exercise,” she concluded.

“You’re so talented, Calliope,” Arizona stated genuinely, turning her lover’s face towards hers. “Your words are really moving. I’m really glad you’re doing this.”

“I’m… thanks,” Callie replied shyly, “just, you know, some bits and pieces. For practice.”

“Practice is important, but... don’t you want more than just practice?” Arizona asked hesitantly.

“Of course I do, Arizona. I feel like I got a second chance to maybe do what I actually love,” Callie admitted sadly.

“So? Why the sad face?”

“It’s confusing. I had months to think about it and I’m still not sure how to approach this. I mean… I feel like I’m too old to go back to school. I don’t have it in me to be a full-time student anymore,” Callie explained in frustration.

“So maybe not full time. Maybe just writing classes?”Arizona offered.

“Funny thing is English lit. was my minor. I **had** classes. Lots of them.”

“That’s so hot, Calliope. This slick executive type with the soul of an artist,” Arizona hummed.

“You’re imagining me in the blazer right now, aren’t you?” Callie teased.

“Pencil skirt,” Arizona replied non-committally.

“I’ve been thinking about starting with short stories and submit them to magazines, you know?” Callie thought out loud.

“That’s a great idea. Maybe get some validation? Build your self esteem again?” Arizona offered softly.

“Exactly,” Callie agreed. “That’s **if** it gets chosen to be featured.”

“It will. I support this, but just so you know, it’s true, I only ever read one of your stories, but I think you’re a star,” Arizona admitted.

“Oh, wow, look who’s talking,” Callie smiled, pulling the smaller woman on top of her. Arizona laid her head on Callie’s chest, listening to her heartbeat. She found that she loved doing that.

“Did you always want be an actress?” Callie asked softly, breaking the comfortable silence.

“I wanted to be a doctor, actually,” Arizona replied without moving her head.

“Really?” Callie was surprised.

“Yeah. As a kid I dreamt about being a surgeon.  And then at fifth grade I did my first school play and fell completely in love,” Arizona smiled nostalgically.

“What was it?”

“Romeo and Juliet.”

“Pretty heavy for a first play.”

“I know. It was some very Disney like version, appropriate for us young souls. Everyone in the audience was bored. But I loved it,” Arizona admitted.

“Oh! Wait! I remember you told that story on some talk show!” Callie announced excitedly, making Arizona sigh.

“Sometimes I want you to lie to me and pretend like you’re hearing everything I’m telling you for the first time. Like it’s completely new and only meant for you,” she confessed sadly.

“Except that I don’t want to ever pretend with you. We’ve been through enough to still have a lot to learn about each other for the first time,” Callie soothed.

“Like favorite color?” Arizona offered sweetly.

“Purple,” Callie provided immediately.

“Great,” Arizona huffed. “Where did I mention **that**?” She tried to recall.

“At the hospital, the very first day I met you,” Callie smiled and kissed Arizona’s forehead.

Arizona pushed herself up and looked directly at Callie. “I sometimes forget how insane your memory for details is.”

“Only when it’s important,” Callie noted softly.

“My favorite color is important?” Arizona snorted.

“Everything you is important,” Callie explained, bringing Arizona back to her previous position on top of her once more. “You were Juliette, right?” Callie inquired after a few more silent moments.

“You know it. What you **don’t** know is that the girl who played the nurse was my first kiss,” Arizona’s eyes twinkled.

“At eleven?” Callie asked in shock. “That’s so not how I remember the story. Is that the same girl you had to break up with when you were sixteen?”

“Nope, that was like two army bases later. But please, do you think that the likes of me need to wait for a relationship to get their first kiss?” Arizona inquired and made Callie snort. “No, that was something else. Ours was a forbidden love,” Arizona said dramatically. “Backstage, behind the curtain on opening night. I never told that to anyone except for Tim,” Arizona admitted.

Callie locked her eyes with Arizona’s to see if the admission made her sad, but all she could find was amusement. “Then I am honored,” Callie finally commented.

“Stay another day?” Arizona asked, hopeful.  She couldn’t put in words how Callie, being in the presence of Callie, made her feel. She wondered which words her articulate girlfriend would use for them, for how they were feeling.

“Okay,” Callie said simply, making Arizona lean in to capture her lips.

When they broke away, Arizona said, “I feel it’s kind of crazy that both our schedules are somewhat flexible and yet we need to coordinate so hard.” It was clear that she was frustrated.

“ **My** schedule is flexible, Arizona.  Yours might be flexible-ish, but the bottom line is – you’re busy,” Callie sighed.  “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Arizona asked in concern.

“Because I’m the one who can constantly come and see you. I’m the one who sits on a bench in a park and do nothing,” Callie explained sadly.

“It’s not nothing and you know it,” Arizona demanded.

“But I also know that I’m the one who can come and see you every week, yet I don’t.”

“But that’s insane, Callie. You have your life, you can’t just…”

“What? Up and leave New York once a week?”

“I mean, you can’t. Can you?” Arizona asked, now not so sure anymore.

Callie sighed in frustration. “I guess it’s less crazy than one of us uprooting herself to the other coast when we only been together this long,” Callie admitted. It was a sad comment, but it was also a bit of a promise for what might happen once they’ve been together for a while longer. Arizona understood that.

“So we rotate, when we can,” she decided.

“I just don’t want this to get us burnt way too fast,” Callie admitted. “I love you.”

It was still new enough of an admission to make Arizona shudder at the words.

“I love you, too. And let’s try it for a while, okay?” She offered, “then each one of us only flies out every other weekend.”

“Unless something happens with your work and then I fly in more,” Callie said, lost in thought.

“I’m sorry, Callie.”

“It’s not a complaint,” Callie was quick to assure, “I’d love to do it.”

“You know, I lived in New York for a while,” Arizona reminisced.

“You did?” Callie asked in surprise.

“It’s an actor’s rite of passage, I think,” Arizona mused.

“Did you like it?”

“I **loved** it. I wouldn’t mind giving it another go.” Another promise. “But we don’t have to worry about the immediate future,” Arizona teased, as if she was hiding a secret.

“What do you mean?” Callie wondered in growing interest.

“The pirate movie I’m starting to shoot in a month?”

“Yeah, Cap, what about it?”

“All the interiors will be shot in a studio in New York!” Arizona announced victoriously. “Taxes are way better for productions over there nowadays.”

“What does that mean?” Callie challenged in anticipation.

“It means… that instead of letting production get me a hotel in town, I can stay with my girlfriend for a whole month. I mean…“ she backtracked, “if that’s something you would want? I’ll see you when I’m there no matter what, don’t feel obligated to…” her ramble was cut short when Callie’s lips met hers.

“Have you with me for a whole month?” Callie considered when her lips left Arizona’s. “Are you kidding? That sounds amazing!”

“Well, granted, I’ll be exhausted by the time I’m home every day. But we’ll have all the weekends, and I’d get to fall asleep next to you every night…” Arizona smiled softly.

“And wake up next to me every morning,” Callie completed the thought, loving how easily the word “home” slipped through Arizona's mouth. “A girl could get used to that.”


	10. Chapter 9

**_One Month Later…_ **

“I’m moving to New York,” Addison announced, her voice sounding excited on the other side of the line.

“What? Why? You love LA!” Callie was happy to hear the news, but also somewhat skeptical. Addison was one for big announcements, the following through part, though…

“I **loved** LA when my two best friends were here,” Addison clarified, “yet both of you deserted me for the Big Apple,” she added with a dramatic sigh.

“Addison, I’m there every other week,” Callie reminded challengingly.

“Callie, please, you’re rolling in the sheets with your girlfriend every other week. I never see you when you’re here and the company offered me relocation. It’s a promotion anyways so why should I say no?” Addison pointed out the obvious.

“Because you hate the weather?” Callie proposed, reminding the obvious, too.

“But I **looooove** the food. And the eye candy.”

“What you love is Mark,” Callie snorted.

“Whatever, **Calliope** ,” Addison challenged.

“Only Arizona can call me that and you know as much,” Callie warned.

“That’s my point, whatever is going on with Mark and me, we’re not half as sickening as you and your Superstar of a girlfriend are,” Addison gagged.

“Only I can call Arizona, Superstar, and you know as much.”

“Oh, shut up. Just ask me when the hell I’m moving to town and what the hell I want you to do for my housewarming party!” Addison whined.

“When the hell are you moving to town and what the hell do you want me to do for your house warming party?” Callie obliged.

“That a girl.”

* * *

“Oh Captain my Captain,” Callie called out as she walked towards her girlfriend who was seated on her cast chair reading her script.

“You’re insufferable,” Arizona replied without taking her eyes off the script, but she couldn’t fight the smile that appeared on her face the moment she heard the voice.

“Hi,” Callie said sweetly once she reached Arizona. She leaned in for a short tender kiss, paying the crew around them no mind. They might haven’t told the world yet, but at work? Where a person who takes photos of any of the cast members without permission will be destroyed at court? Neither of them cared.

“Mmm… hi yourself,” Arizona hummed once they broke the kiss. “I missed you.”

“You saw me five hours ago,” Callie chuckled.

“I still missed you. You didn’t say you were stopping by.”

“I can go?” Callie offered innocently and started walking away.

“Don’t you dare,” Arizona laughed and grabbed her hand, bringing her closer. “But your presence here tells me you missed me, too,” she flirted.

“I always miss you,” Callie said and winced at her own words.

“Are you okay?” Arizona voiced in concern.

“Yeah, I’m fine, it’s just that stupid Addie said we were sickening and as much as I wanted to tell her to shove it, I can see that we’re one of… ‘ **those** couples,’” Callie explained, exasperated.

“Those couples?” Arizona challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“You know… super schmaltzy, overly cute couples.”

“I, for one, find no problem with us being super cute. Besides, we’re in our honeymoon stage. Tell her that she’s more than welcome to be a witness when we have our first fight,” Arizona offered nonchalantly. “But she can’t stay around for the make-up sex.”

“She just might take you up on that, actually,” Callie snorted. “She called this morning to say she’s moving to New York.”

“Really? That’s great, Calliope,” Arizona smiled in excitement. She wanted her girlfriend to be surrounded by people who loved her, especially if she herself couldn’t be around. “But tell her that she can’t move here until I’m done shooting in town. I require your undivided attention,” Arizona stated seriously.

“Arizona, you’re on set all day,” Callie reminded.

“You have a point,” Arizona agreed, “yet I do love having you on call,” she teased, tightening her hold on Callie’s waste.

“Well, she’s moving in about a month. Which means she’ll be here in time for my birthday,” Callie noted excitedly.

“Yes, your birthday. We need to talk about that because whatever you want to do I’ll be there. I was hoping I’ll have you all to myself for the whole day?” Arizona proposed hopefully.

“Oh, yeah, sure, I mean… I guess I assumed that because it’s the middle of the week… and with shooting going back to LA in three weeks…” Callie was lost in thought.

“Calliope,” Arizona said softly, gently demanding Callie’s attention. “You’re my girlfriend, I love you. If we make plans now, I might be able to take a day and a half off while they shoot other people,” she explained.

“But that’s so crazy, Arizona,” Callie started to ramble again.”I do a small dinner with friends every year, which, I mean, of course you’re welcome to join, but it’s a more of a… you know… a public outing, and to fly out just for the night when you’re in a middle of a project… you’ll be exhausted, it’s not worth it.”

“Callie, what are you talking about?” Arizona seemed hurt, “of course it’s worth it.”

“I know, I didn’t mean…” Callie sighed. “If you can make it, it’ll be the best birthday ever. I just didn’t want to pressure you when you’re so busy. And I would’ve come over there but…”

“But I’m on set anyways if you’re there, so it’s pointless to make you spend your birthday alone,” Arizona finished in understanding. “I guess I could’ve taken a day off anyways but then you’d be far from all the others,” Arizona thought out loud.

“Maybe I should. I mean, I love everyone, but it’s my birthday, I want to spend it with you,” Callie stated sincerely.

“I love you for saying that, but I want you to have everything. And I had you all to myself on your other birthday,” Arizona reminded.  “So how about I’ll get you for the whole day, and night, and maybe just… skip dinner? I can take a nap so I won’t even be exhausted. See? Problem solved,” Arizona offered cheerfully.

“Okay,” Callie agreed, a huge smile adorning her face.

“Great. I’ll text April. Here, sit,” she gestured to the empty director’s chair next to her.

“Won’t Derek be upset?” Callie asked in worry.

“No, he’s a real sweetheart and he’s there, driving everyone else crazy, see?” Arizona pointed towards the crew, where Derek stood, looking as if he was about to rip his own dreamy hair out.

“I’m really glad I caught you in between scenes.”

“Me too. You always get lucky, though,” Arizona winked and kept typing the message to April, leaving them in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Hey, Calliope?” Arizona started, her voice laced with concern.  “You’re not upset that I’m not… coming out, so to speak, about us, right?”

“No, Babe, of course not,” Callie assured softly and laced their fingers. “I know that you’re just being protective of us.”

“I truly am. Because we’re so new and I want us to just be us for a while,” Arizona explained genuinely, making Callie nod in understanding. “But at some point… I mean, I don’t want to hide.”

“Believe me, neither do I,” Callie agreed. “But I trust your judgment. Whenever you feel like it’s time, I’ll be there.”

“Are you sure you are ready for this?” Arizona asked. She was protective of them both as a couple, yes, but she was first and foremost protective of her girlfriend, who had faced more than one hardship in her lifetime.

“I’m not sure what ‘this’ entails just yet,” Callie chuckled, “but it comes with the territory, and I **am** sure that I’m in love with the territory,” she concluded decisively.

“It’s just… I don’t want you to get hurt when people start saying mean things or poking into your personal life. I can deal with it, I chose it, you didn’t,” Arizona reminded, concern still evident in her voice.

“I chose you,” Callie stated, her expressive eyes telling Arizona just how much she meant it. “Whatever that means, we take care of each other, right?”

“Right,” Arizona said, feeling the tears coming up. Callie could always make her dizzy with words. “You’re beautiful, you know that? Like, in every possible way.”

“Thank you,” Callie squeezed Arizona’s hand and smiled brightly. “You’re beautiful, too.”

“No, but Callie, I mean… you’re gorgeous, yes, but you’re such a beautiful person. And you use words in such a beautiful way.” Arizona made it sound like she was confessing a secret.

“Babe, come on, I mean, thank you, truly, but I just said that whatever happens we’ll deal with it together.”

“Shut up,” Arizona laughed lightly. “Let me compliment my girlfriend, the words’ master.”

“You are a nerd and I really love you. And speaking of writing… hmmm…” Callie trailed off.

“Did you do it?” Arizona asked, shifting sharply from their mutual teasing to genuine excitement.

“Seven magazines,” Callie nodded and bit her lip. “Statistically, one of them gotta say yes, right?” She squeaked, hopeful.

“I don’t know about statistics, Calliope, but I know that the story was really good, moving and truthful. If not this time, then next time. It will happen, it has to,” Arizona decided in determination, making Callie smile, some of the tension leaving her shoulders.

“Is that what you used to tell yourself when you just started?” She asked in curiosity.

“It is,” Arizona smiled nostalgically.

“But, Arizona, you’re those one in a Million cases. You’re gift is really special and…”

“Stop, Babe. I know you tend to ramble in those rare moments when you feel insecure, but your gift is really special, too. And you took years off from it. So this is basically you starting over from scratch,” Arizona reminded softly. “And I’ll say this again, if you ever write me a script, I’ll do it. No questions asked. Unless it’s like a question about a character’s background, or subtext or…”

“Arizona!” Callie whined, interrupting Arizona’s ramble with one of her own. “I told you! A script is a totally different thing! I don’t have the first idea of how to deal with it! The format, the whole… there is no ‘inner’ world! You can’t have thoughts. If you want something to be known you have to put it in the dialogue, and…”

“Sounds to me like you have more than a few ideas of how to deal with it,” Arizona smirked. Her girlfriend was a goddess of words and no one, especially not said girlfriend, could convince her otherwise.

“I’d argue with you, but you’re actually really hot when you’re stubborn. I don’t know how you do it,” Callie admitted and chuckled.

“I’m keeping the best for you and am a monster to everybody else,” Arizona brushed off.

“Lies,” Callie decided and leaned in to peck her girlfriend’s lips.

“Maybe,” Arizona shrugged. “So, what are you doing after this lovely visit, which, by the way, I can tell will be over soon because Derek is eyeing me,” she added apologetically.

“It’s okay. I’m glad I managed to squeeze some Arizona time,” Callie smiled.

“Aww, squeeze some time with your main squeeze!” Arizona melted at her own adorableness.

“My god, Woman. Addison was right. We’re horrible, because I didn’t even hate that,” Callie noted miserably.

“The rules are simple, Calliope. You can, and **should** hate it when anyone else says it, but when it comes from me, it’s adorable and pure genius,” Arizona explained in seriousness.

“You mean just like with my writing that everyone else can hate it but you have to say it’s good no matter what?” Callie challenged.

Arizona rolled her eyes. “Oh my god, shut up already and tell me what are you doing for the rest of the day!”

“Arizona, five minutes warning!”  One of the production assistants called at her.

“Got it, thanks!”

“Park is next on the agenda,” Callie finally answered Arizona’s question as they both started to get up.

“Fun! I wanna go to the park with you. Roll in the grass and be all sexy. Or sickening if we’re so inclined to believe Addison.”

“Never believe Addison,” Callie deadpanned. “She always has an agenda!” She added in a sing-song voice.

“Maybe, but I owe her. I’m always gonna owe her,” Arizona admitted kindly as they walked hand in hand towards the set.

“Okay. I’m gonna go now. I’ll see you later?” Callie asked in hope. Their new arrangement may have only been going on for a week, but Callie already experienced the crazy hours Arizona was dealing with.

“I’ll get home late,” Arizona apologized, making them both feel secretly fuzzy inside at her use of the word home. “I’m sorry. Don’t wait up,” she said regretfully.

“Maybe I will and maybe I won’t,” Callie offered her a dazzling smile. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Go, be a master of words.”

“Aye aye, Captain,” Callie saluted dramatically.

“Insufferable,” Arizona shook her head.

Callie laughed that kind of infectious laugh that made Arizona’s heart soar, and leaned in to kiss her goodbye.

“Don’t rock the boat,” Callie teased when they broke the kiss, lightly slapping Arizona’s ass, and walked off the set, not concerned at the least if anyone was watching them, or that her girlfriend’s face got ten times redder.

* * *

Arizona tip toed into Callie’s apartment. She was exhausted and had to be back on set relatively early the following morning. All she wanted was to take a shower, quickly read through her lines for the following day one more time, and snuggle with the most amazing human body pillow ever. Over the course of the week she had already spent in New York, she learned that even if Callie didn’t wake up, she always hummed in content when Arizona joined her in bed and spooned her from behind.

 _This weekend we’re switching_ , she decided. _I wanna be the little spoon, too_ , she pouted and quietly stepped into the bedroom to put her bag down.

As she walked into the room, her girlfriend turned in bed and rubbed her eyes.

“Hi,” she said in a voice that indicated that she wasn’t one hundred percent awake.

“Calliope, it’s three in the morning, what are you doing up?” Arizona asked in shock.

“I waited up!” Callie announced victoriously.

“I told you not to!”

“Well, I’m a rebel. When you forbid me from doing something I just go and do it anyways,” Callie said sleepily, but with a hint of challenge in her voice. Arizona couldn’t help the smile that crept onto her face.

“You’re crazy,” Arizona concluded and walked towards Callie’s side of the bed to kiss her girlfriend a proper hello.

“I just missed you, and you’d probably be gone again before I wake up.”

“Probably,” Arizona nodded in agreement.

“So I just wanted to see your face and say hi. So, hi,” Callie added sweetly and kissed Arizona again.

“Okay, well, I need to take a shower, and then read my scenes for tomorrow, so you should go to sleep now that you said hi,” Arizona chuckled.

“No, I need to be your scene partner,” Callie pouted, making Arizona laugh louder.

“Are you coherent enough for me to tell you something?” Arizona asked.

“Yeah, sure, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, hmmm… so… my parents are taking advantage of the fact I’m here and are flying in for the weekend. Which means we’re having dinner with them,” Arizona finally blurted out.

“We are?” Callie asked, her expression unreadable. “Like, in two days?”

“I mean, of course we don’t have to if you don’t want to. I know we’ve only been together for a couple of months. But I need to be a bit of a tour guide so I might be MIA during the weekend, and I know I promised you some us time on the weekends, but…”

“Arizona, Babe, take a breath, jeez,” Callie soothed, somewhat amused.  “I’d love to meet them, and to co-tour guide with you. If you feel like you already wanna do the meet-the-parents thing, I’m more than okay with that. Just a bit surprised,” she admitted.

“Well, you shouldn’t be. This, us, is every important to me,” Arizona explained emotionally, lacing her fingers with Callie’s. “I know we’re not announcing it to the world just yet, but with the most important people in my life? Of course I want them to know how much I love you,” she added, putting her free palm on Callie’s cheek, caressing it. “I want them to know **you** ,” she finished, eyes locked with her girlfriend. She was trying to convey just how deep her feelings went. Both of them were full of little promises on occasion.

“Okay,” Callie said hoarsely and incredibly touched. “Master of words,” she teased, making Arizona burst into laughter.

“Shut up!” Arizona tried.

“No, seriously, so suave,” Callie added, pulling Arizona who tried to break away from the embrace, closer. “So much game!” She finished, falling back on the bed, pulling the laughing Arizona on top of her.

They stared at each other for a few moments. Arizona leaned down to kiss her girlfriend, and then rolled off her and got out of bed.

“Do you think your dad will like me?” Callie suddenly asked in worry. Moms she could do. Moms loved her. But Colonel fathers? She wasn’t sure about that.

Arizona turned around and when she saw the real concern on Callie’s features, she put her hand on Callie’s hip.

“You make me so happy, he has no choice,” she teased.

“Okay,” Callie gave in defeat. She knew she’d just have to deal with it.

“I’m going to take that shower now,” Arizona smiled softly, pecked Callie’s lips, and got up.

“I’ll be here to read with you when you come out,” Callie yawned.

“That’s **if** you manage to stay up until I’m out of the shower,” Arizona added playfully.

“I will. I promise,” Callie nodded in determination.

And so she did.

* * *

“Now remember, he just seems mean but he’s actually a muppet inside,” Arizona put a reassuring hand on her girlfriend’s back.

“Arizona, I refuse to believe your father is a muppet inside,” Callie gulped.

They were nearing the restaurant and Callie was starting to reconsider her whole laid back approach about the pending dinner.

It was a Friday evening, Arizona’s parents flew in a few hours earlier, and while two more days of walking around awaited the group of four, this was their first rendezvous.

“You’ll be fine, Calliope. You’re the most charming person I know,” Arizona admitted with a smile.

“April got us a private table, right?” Callie suddenly inquired.

“Yeah, of course,” Arizona supplied in puzzlement.

“Good. So when your dad throws his pudding at me it will at least be in private,” Callie deduced.

“That will never happen,” Arizona guaranteed.

“You sure?” Callie challenged.

“I am. My dad **hates** pudding,” Arizona winked and held the door for her now defeated looking girlfriend. It was the back door, just like April instructed. “After you, my lady,” Arizona added chivalrously.

As Callie passed her, Arizona grabbed her by the wrist, making her turn around. She looked Callie straight in the eyes.

“You blew my mind and made my world start moving again. They’re going to love you,” she promised.

“Thanks,” Callie said quietly as she laced her fingers with Arizona’s and walked in.

* * *

Two hours later, Callie’s nerves were in a much better state. After she got over her initial shock, she found that Barbara and Daniel Robbins were wonderful, lovely people. Yes, Arizona’s dad was a bit on the gruff side at times, but they made sure Callie felt welcome among their family.

 _I’m sure cancer helped_ , she thought solemnly, assuming Arizona had told them how they met. _Well, I’ll use what I can._

“So, how did you two meet?” Barbara asked in perkiness that reminded Callie very much of her girlfriend who currently stopped mid-chew and looked at her guiltily.

_Maybe not, then._

“Hmm…” Callie started to fidget when a soft hand slid on top of hers, lacing their fingers.

“I’ll answer that,” Arizona smiled at her softly. “That is, if that’s okay?”

 _She didn’t know if I’d be okay with them knowing,_ Callie realized in relief. She was happy to learn it wasn’t anything more complicated than that.

She took a quick glance at the elder Robbins couple who now seemed curious at their mysterious exchange.

“Yeah, of course,” she finally told her girlfriend softly.

“Okay, then,” Arizona gave her another reassuring smile and turned to her parents. “I met Callie nearly two years ago in LA,” she started.

“Two years?” Barbara huffed in discontent. “I thought you said you’ve been together for two months! Why did you hide her all this time?” She demanded and crossed her arms, seeming way more intimidating than Daniel ever did.

“We actually met a year and eight months ago,” Callie said quietly when she thought no one could hear her, but she saw her girlfriend smirk.

“Well, Mom, we met a year and eight months ago,” Arizona winked at Callie, “but we only got together two month ago. And don’t blame me for hiding her, she was hiding from **me** for a whole year,” she added innocently, making Callie groan.

“I was not!” she whined.

“This is all very confusing,” Daniel said, making Callie realize her girlfriend was trying to lighten the mood before she got to the heavy stuff.

“Are you sure **you’re** not the storyteller in this relationship, Arizona? With all that build up?” Callie teased.

“Oh, I tell stories, Calliope. I just don’t write them,” Arizona teased right back.

“You were saying?” Barbara Robbins was having none of it.

“Fine, mom. I’m getting there! So, anyways, Callie had cancer and…”

“Wait, what?” Barbara asked, now worry in her voice. She looked at Callie in a way that Callie could only describe as maternal.

“I’m fine now, Barbara,” Callie assured.

“Yes, she’s fine now, Mom! I just thought she was dead for a whole year, but that’s old news,” Arizona brushed off.

“Arizona…” Callie warned.

“Enough!” Daniel Robbins finally announced in full on colonel mode. “Arizona, start from the beginning, and tell the damn story! Sorry, Callie, I didn’t mean to call your cancer, damned,” he apologized sincerely.

“It’s exactly what it was, though,” Callie offered with a smile, “in more ways than one.” That earned her a chuckle from the older man.

“Great, I’m glad everyone is making cancer jokes,” Arizona narrowed her eyes bitterly. “So Callie had cancer, and she was a fan of mine…”

“Still am, if we’re honest,” Callie mentioned gleefully.

“Stop interrupting!” Arizona whined. “I’m telling the story!”

“Fine! Go on!” Callie said in surrender.

“And so Callie’s best friend, Addison, called and asked me to come see her at the hospital because she was dying. Sorry, Babe.”

“No, no. That’s fair. I **was** dying,” Callie confirmed nonchalantly.

“So I went there, and…”

“Wait, you went to see a complete stranger?” Barbara realized in horror.

“Of course not, Mom. I went to see a **dying** stranger,” Arizona explained innocently.

“Arizona Robbins!” Barbara scolded.

“And then I got there, and Callie was charming, of course, and pretty…”

“I was **not** pretty.”

“You were pretty, and then hours went by of us talking without me ever realizing how long it had been since I got there.”

“I didn’t realize it either,” Callie smiled at her softly and got a smile in return.

“And then I left and it was really sad because I knew I’d never see Callie again, which sucked because I really liked her,” Arizona sweetly looked at her girlfriend again. “And it didn’t occur to me until a year later that I never heard anything about her passing. So I contacted Addison to ask where Callie was buried so I could go and pay my respects. Of course it sounds morbid now, but how could I have known?”

“I told you I was sorry like a million times,” Callie brushed off.

“And Addison replied,” Arizona continued, ignoring her girlfriend, “and lo and behold, Callie was alive and well, figuring herself out in New York City.”

“Remember how I explained to you that you can’t sound so disappointed when you tell this story?” Callie chastised.

“So I got on the first flight to New York and pretty much scolded Callie for not telling me she wasn’t dead, and…”

“You flew to the East coast to scold a stranger?” Barbara Robbins seemed unhappy again.

“She wasn’t a stranger at this point,” Arizona defended before Callie could semi-contradict her, “and there was more of the liking each other and the Callie being beautiful thing going,” she stopped for a moment, waiting for interruptions. “What, you’re not going to object again?” she challenged her girlfriend.

“Oh, no, I **was** beautiful by then because I was healthy,” Callie offered in a condescending tone, making Arizona’s parents chuckle. “Please, do go on with this very accurate story with no omitted details about your craziness.”

Arizona huffed. “And the rest is history!” She concluded.

“Really?” Callie inquired with a raised eyebrow. “You’re not gonna mention how you came back unannounced a month later and practically pounced on me and my grocery bags?”

“Arizona!” This time it was Daniel.

“I…”  Arizona tried.

“Or how when **I** finally came to visit **you** , I was nearly escorted off the perimeter?”

“But…” Arizona defended.

“Oh! I know!” Callie’s face lit up in excitement. “Tell them about the paintings!”

“What paintings?” Barbara asked in suspicion.

 “I would, but hey, look at that, my glass is empty because of all that wine I drank. I gotta go to the ladies room,” Arizona sidetracked and quickly got up.

“I’ll come with you,” Barbara offered.

 _This woman is gonna drill her daughter for all those details Arizona “forgot” to mention,_ Callie thought, laughing on the inside. If Arizona thought the same, she didn’t let it show.

“Good,” her girlfriend said. “People are less inclined to bother us when Mom is around. Moms make people more respectful somehow.”

“I have a feeling **your** mom makes people more respectful,” Callie teased and all three joined her laughter.

When the two women were out of earshot, Callie turned around just to be surprised by the Colonel, now much closer, invading her personal space.

The evening might’ve turned better than she had expected, but there was a part of her which kept anticipating this moment.

“Sir?”

“My daughter is perfect and she deserves the best,” Daniel Robbins started without missing a beat. “Yet I can’t help but think that people only want to get close to her because of her fame and fortune.”

“Well, Sir, at least you have **that** in common with my father,” Callie replied bitterly.

“Which part?” He asked, voice now softer. Callie didn’t say much about her parents, but he could tell things were strained there.

“The fortune part. Believe me, I don’t need your daughter’s money. Nor am I the least interested in fame,” she guaranteed, not backing down from looking him straight in the eye so he knows she meant it.

“You might get it anyways.”

“I know.”

“Are you okay with that?” he wondered.

“I have to be. Because I love your daughter,” she promised.

“I think you’re a good person, Callie. You’ve been through a lot, you don’t take things lightly. You clearly love her and god, she clearly loves you. And apparently there’s no real practical reason for you to take advantage of her,” the Colonel observed.

“What are you saying?” Callie asked in confusion. He basically listed things that she already knew.

“I guess I’m saying… stay tuned. And trust me, Callie, with Arizona’s romantic history? That’s a first.”


	11. Chapter 10

**_One Month Later…_ **

Arizona could’ve done with a sleeping in after catching the redeye to New York, **would** have done with sleeping in, but alas, her girlfriend got out of bed uncharacteristically early and Arizona wondered if it was the birthday butterflies.

Arizona missed Callie’s body already, but her current inner struggle was between falling asleep again, which her whole body yelled at her to do, and feeling guilty because she didn’t want to leave the birthday girl awake, all by her lonesome.

She didn’t have much time to think about it before Callie burst into the room and jumped on the bed making Arizona whimper in frustration and surprise.

“Your girlfriend’s story just got published!”

“What?” Arizona mumbled in a sleepy voice, opening a single eye and trying to make her blurry vision focus on Callie.

“Are you up?” Callie poked her arm, hopeful.

“Mmmm…” is what came out when Arizona tried to form a ‘yes.’

“Are you listening?” Callie poked her arm again, a huge grin adorning her face.

Arizona lifted her index finger as if to say to Callie ‘give me a minute,’ to which Callie responded by nodding eagerly. It made Arizona snort while she tried to push herself up.

She turned herself around and flopped on her back, now looking directly at Callie. It wasn’t sitting, but it was progress.

“Hi,” she said hoarsely, hardly stifling a yawn.

“Hi, Babe,” Callie said with a chuckle.

“You’re up super early,” Arizona noted. “Is this a birthday thing? Am I being a party pooper of a girlfriend?”

“You’re being a super-sexy, still look like you had sex last night, gorgeous-even-when-she-wakes-up girlfriend,” Callie flirted making Arizona smile at her. It was a sleepy smile, but a very genuine one.

“Sweet talker,” Arizona allowed.

“I’m in a very good mood and no, it’s not a birthday thing,” Callie explained as she held a paper right in front of Arizona’s face, “it’s an ‘I just got published’ thing!” She announced victoriously, making Arizona sit up sharply.  

“Oh my god!” Arizona exclaimed, now fully awake and eyes wide in shock, “so I didn’t dream you say that.” She smiled happily.

“Nope!” Callie chimed in and pushed a copy of The New Yorker into Arizona’s face. “Page twenty-six!”

“I’m surprised you didn’t mark the page,” Arizona teased, “oh, wait, you did,” she added when she noticed she didn’t have to flip any pages.

She was so proud of Callie, she loved that story and she was there when Callie decided to submit it, gave Callie her blessing. It was the first one that Callie wrote for her, except no one knew that and there was something intoxicating about that feeling of having a secret. But then she finally scanned through the words and something wasn’t right.

“Who the fuck is Calliope Plantain and more importantly - why?” She inquired as she lowered the paper to give her girlfriend an incredulous stare.

“I didn’t wanna use my real name just yet and I was just having some plantain fries from Empanada Mama when I was trying to come up with a name. Delicious, by the way. On the list for your next visit or better yet, let’s order lunch from there. It’d be nicer to sit there, but we’ll get to that,” Callie decided with no trace of annoyance in her voice.

“This is the perfect birthday gift,” Arizona grinned, ignoring Callie’s plans.  “Why didn’t you tell me?” She wondered out loud in confusion.

“I wanted it to be a surprise and then you were exhausted last night but still insisted on staying awake and…”

“Callie, it was after midnight,” Arizona cut her off, irritation evident in her voice. They had this argument the previous night. “It was already your birthday. It is a girlfriend’s duty to give her lover amazing birthday sex.”

“See? That thing you just said? It is so ridiculous and it’s also why I love you.”

“The sex or the ridiculousness?” Arizona inquired teasingly.

“Both and you know it,” Callie leaned in to kiss her. “Hi,” she added softly once they broke the kiss off.

“Hi, good morning, and happy birthday,” Arizona smiled brightly. She discarded the magazine on the floor next to the bed, grabbed Callie’s shirt and pulled her in for a passionate kiss. Callie was so engrossed in the kiss that she didn’t realize Arizona tricked her right back into bed and flipped them over.

“Is it also a girlfriend’s duty to specifically give her lover morning birthday sex?” Callie inquired innocently.

“You know it,” Arizona replied and took off her own shirt.

“Hmmm, aren’t **I** supposed to be the one doing the unwrapping?” Callie challenged.

“I have a feeling you’ll have that chance at some point today,” Arizona smirked and noticed that Callie was intently staring at her. “What is it?” She asked softly, caressing Callie’s cheek. Callie hummed in content at the touch and closed her eyes, a soft smile adorning her face.

“Hey,” Arizona started gently, making Callie’s eyes flutter open. Arizona loved her lashes. “Tell me,” she said in a tone that indicated a request rather than an order.

“I haven’t celebrated my birthday with a special someone in so long,” Callie admitted, biting her lip. “Another thing I thought I’d never get to do again,” she added with a sad smile. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she finished with a barely audible voice.

“Callie,” Arizona breathed out, eyes now glazed, “I’m so glad **you** are here.”

Callie nodded in understanding. That last minute call for a medical trial a year and a half ago changed the courses of both their lives, even if they didn’t know it back then.

“I love you,” Arizona stated, lacing their fingers and kissing Callie’s knuckles. She could see her girlfriend was all choked up. While Arizona knew she could never understand what Callie was feeling every time she got to experience again something she thought she’d lost, Arizona was so humbled knowing that she was allowed to take part, **welcome** to take part. She was so wanted, and it made her insanely happy, because she wanted so much, too.

“I love you, too,” Callie offered quietly, bringing Arizona down, letting their bodies mold together. Callie didn’t pursue anything further, she just wanted a few moments of feeling her girlfriend’s weight on top of her, basking in the reality of the coexistence that they were so fortunate to even have.

Arizona wasn’t complaining. Callie wasn’t the only one who needed this affirmation every now and then. They both almost lost what they had before they had the chance to find it and on special occasions that notion came to the surface.

“What do you wanna do today?” Arizona mumbled into Callie’s shoulder, making her chuckle.

“I wanna have empanadas for lunch and I wanna have **you** in many shapes and forms before and after,” she declared and Arizona pushed herself up to look down on the woman she loved.

“Sounds like a plan,” Arizona nodded and Callie could see her eyes darkening.

“I got published today,” Callie said softly knowing that soon they won’t be talking anymore.

“You got published today,” Arizona confirmed enthusiastically. “I’m so proud of you.”

Callie scoffed.

“Soon enough you won’t be able to walk down the street with me with the amount of autographs I’m gonna have to give,” she teased.

“Bring it on,” Arizona challenged, “bring every last bit of it on.”

They smiled widely at one another, adding another silent promise to the list, and the talking was over.

* * *

Arizona was pacing back and forth like a caged animal. Callie left three hours prior to attend her own birthday dinner. She was reluctant to leave, but Arizona persuaded her.

“Go,” she told her lover reassuringly, “I’ll be here when you get back and give you an actual birthday gift and everything.”

Callie grinned at her widely. “I love birthday gifts,” she confessed. “And yours is probably a very good one,” Callie decided.

“Geez, no pressure,” Arizona mock scowled. “You got lucky that your birthday is actually first. I have to do all the first impression related work!” She protested.

“You’ll do great,” Callie declared, “you always do great. I’ll see you soon.”

She kissed Arizona goodbye and finally left, to both their dismay.

Arizona did nothing but regret not going for the last three hours. She was jealous of the people who could freely hang out with Callie, but more than that, she wanted to meet them, spend time with them, be a part of her girlfriend’s public life, and mostly, not miss important things like birthday dinners.

She tried to reason with herself, remind herself she was still protecting them, protecting Callie. But Callie didn’t need protection. Callie was the strongest person she knew.

_Just because Callie doesn’t **need** protection doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve it._

Because that’s the thing about the people we love. We don’t wait for them to need us, we make sure to always be there just in case.

“We take care of each other, right?” She remembered Callie saying to her.

 _Would throwing caution to the wind count as taking care of her?_ Arizona wondered skeptically.

But Callie also said – “whenever you feel like it’s time, I’ll be there.” Arizona knew Callie would mock her for over analyzing things. It was such a no brainer for Callie, no big deal. But Arizona also knew that at the first public mention of cancer, Arizona would feel extremely guilty.

She decided to busy herself, so she washed the dishes. “Do it,” she could hear Callie’s voice in her head. She went through the apartment and turned off all the lights that weren’t in use. “Do it,” she heard her girlfriend’s voice again. She sat down on the sofa, covered herself with a thin blanket, and opened the remote box, a trivial act she never performed in Callie’s apartment before. Callie always picked the channel. As she grabbed the remote, her hand grazed a piece of paper. It was obvious someone folded and unfolded it many times. Something seemed vaguely familiar about the piece of paper, so Arizona unfolded it. It was her email written in her very own hand writing. A piece of paper that she gave Callie months ago and that Callie never used. But it made no difference. Callie kept the piece of paper. Callie kept **her**. “You see, you idiot,” Callie’s voice in her head pointed with a chuckle. “Do it!”

“Screw this,” Arizona blurted decisively, sharply got up, grabbed her purse, and swung the door open, nearly bumping forcefully into her girlfriend.

“Hey!” Callie announced happily, “where are you going?” she added, an adorable frown of confusion appearing on her features.

“I was coming to see you?” Arizona offered innocently.

“You were?” A radiant smile broke on Callie’s face and Arizona knew she made the right decision.

“Yeah, I was,” she confirmed softly, letting the meaning sink between them and allowing her girlfriend back into the apartment. “Why are you back so early?” She inquired as Callie dropped her purse on the sofa.

“I missed you,” Callie stated, locking eyes with Arizona, not seeming embarrassed at the slightest.

“Did you share this feeling with Addison?” Arizona teased, but was also doing her internal dance. There was nothing better than the reminders that the person you were head over heels in love with felt the same way.

“I did,” Callie admitted, not giving away anything else.

“What did she say?” Arizona probed.

“Nothing,” Callie shrugged.

“Really?” Arizona asked in genuine surprise.

“Yeah. She just made gagging sounds instead,” Callie explained, finally allowing a satisfied smirk to appear on her face.

“Figures,” Arizona scoffed quietly, mirroring Callie’s smirk. “I’m glad you are back,” she admitted unapologetically.

“I’m glad you were coming,” Callie offered genuinely.

“We take care of each other, right?” Arizona quoted, reaffirming their agreement.

“I’ll meet you halfway, always,” Callie promised with a nod, “literally, in tonight’s case,” she added teasingly, opening her arms for Arizona to come in for a hug.

“There was a talk of an actual gift. And I’m pretty sure you’d let me have my way with you again,” Callie reminded over Arizona’s shoulder, making the other woman break the hug.

“Okay,” Arizona sighed.

“Hey, no, this is a happy thing,” Callie soothed, caressing Arizona’s arm. “Whatever it is, I’m gonna love it because it’s from you,” she reassured.

“You’re a walking cliché,” Arizona noted, but went to the bedroom to get the item from her carry-on nonetheless. Callie followed her. This is where the night was going to take them eventually anyway.

Arizona took out a long carton tube from her bag and Callie realized immediately it was a painting. The realization made her smile in excitement, which is the image Arizona came face to face with when she turned around, tube in hand.

“Alright,” Arizona started and handed Callie the tube, “It’s been ages since I drew something that wasn’t a portrait,” she excused while Callie took out the large creation and unrolled in on her bed. “You might not even recognize it, but it’s…”

“Oh my god!” Callie cut her off. “It’s your castle in Belarus!” She declared giddily.

“It is,” Arizona confirmed shyly. Callie had seen the pictures, during and after and Arizona knew her girlfriend was attentive to details but she sometimes forgot just how much.

“It’s gorgeous Arizona. Looks exactly like the photos,” Callie complimented happily. “Why the castle?” She added, curious.

Arizona knew the question would come. The admission ahead was a bit embarrassing, but it was also the reason for this whole gift. She gently moved the drawing, took Callie’s hands, and sat them both on the bed.

“It was my second week of shooting in the castle,” Arizona explained, averting her gaze from Callie’s piercing one. “I was walking around between scenes, texting you. I was in such a good mood. I was in a good mood all the time because you were always present,” she admitted, looking up to meet her girlfriend’s gaze. “Even when you weren’t, you always were,” she added making Callie smile in understanding. “And then all of a sudden I walked into this room I’ve never seen before. It was a ballroom. You know that scene in The Sound of Music when Maria arrives to the mansion for the first times and enters the ballroom?” She inquired, rhetorically, yet Callie nodded still. “It was like that. I was walking there in the darkness, minimal light was coming in from some of the windows,” she described with a smile, looking over Callie’s shoulder, reliving the memory. “All of a sudden I found myself imagining what it would be like to have you there with me. My back attached to your front with your arms wrapped around me. It was startling. I hadn’t seen your for a while, our whole weird relationship felt like a weird dream, but there I was, half a world away, realizing for the first time that I was in love with you,” she finished vulnerably, meeting her surprised girlfriend’s stare. When she painted, she wondered whether she should share the story or not, but Callie was the first one to say the words, relatively quickly after they got together, and it was also Callie’s birthday, so Arizona decided she could be brave, too. Callie made her push her own boundaries.

“You knew?” Callie asked hoarsely, “so early on?”

“I did,” Arizona admitted, smiling softly, trying to gauge her girlfriend’s reaction.

Callie swallowed hard and tightened her hold on Arizona’s hands. “I knew back then, too,” she confessed genuinely and it was her turn to receive a surprised look. But soon enough the shock in Arizona’s eyes turned to pure joy and they stared at each other like that for a while longer. No more words were necessary.

“This is going on this wall,” Callie finally broke the silence, pointing at the wall behind the headboard. “It is beyond beautiful. And I totally understand why you chose it. It captures a moment, too.”

“It does,” Arizona agreed, happy that Callie understood.

“I love you so much,” Callie breathed out, “you make my world stop. And I want to show you, I just have one last serious question for tonight. And I’m really sorry to bring this up after we shared such a beautiful moment. So in the future, when we remember tonight, we can omit this part,” Callie joked, but there was also some concern beneath the surface.

“What is it, Calliope?” Arizona inquired in worry.

“It’s not actually a big deal. What is it with me and unnecessary build ups?” Callie chuckled, trying to lighten the mood. When Arizona glared at her she added “I need to go to Mayo next month for my check-up. It’s just a technicality, really, I’m sure everything is fine,” she started to ramble. “I was wondering if… you’d want to come with me? You don’t have to. It’s usually a short and useless visit. You waste half of the day on flights. But, I mean, we can stay there for the night, maybe somewhere nice? And I thought maybe you’d like to meet the people who saved my life, and…”

“Hey,” Arizona cut her off, offering a reassuring smile. “I’d love to. After all, it is in Arizona. The state after which I was **not** named,” she joked, making Callie crack a smile.

“You and your weird obsession with me being in the Arizona Mayo Campus. Sheesh, Woman,” Callie joked yet still hoped for a serious answer.   
  
“I'm trying to be a romantic here and say how all ways led us together, but fine, be that way. Lucky for your cynical ass I'm still gonna come,” Arizona scoffed.

“You really want to?” Callie wondered, hopeful.

“Meet you halfway, right?”

“Well, technically, it’s not exactly halfway because…”

“Shut up,” Arizona demanded.

“Always,” Callie promised.

“You mean never,” Arizona smiled and crushed their lips together, making sure their mutual promises of how Callie’s birthday would end came to be.

They lost themselves in each other and later that night, right before Arizona fell asleep, she thought back on the meaningful events of the day. Of the new steps they made towards each other.

Maybe Arizona didn’t get to act on her decision when she nearly ran into Callie on the threshold, but that decision had already been made and Arizona knew that sooner rather than later, she’d get to tell the world about the person who made **her** world stop.


	12. Chapter 11

**_One Month Later…_ **

Callie knew the drill when it came to her checkups. She came in, Dr. Grey took her blood pressure, then Callie was in for some fun in the form of two additional hours of tests.

Walking into the clinic holding Arizona’s hand was new, though, and interrupted her routine. She was nervous and she didn’t know why. Maybe because she assumed Arizona would be nervous which she would be, had she seen Callie was, too. It was a lose-lose situation which was why they hadn’t exchanged a word since they left the hotel. Arizona eyed Callie suspiciously every few minutes, but for the most part, she let her be.

They sat down in the waiting area, Callie neurotically tapping her foot on the floor.

“Okay, enough is enough,” Arizona broke the silence. Callie could tell she was frustrated. “What’s going on, Calliope? I thought you said this was ‘no biggie’. Is there something you’re not telling me? Should I be worried?” she added in concern.

“What? No! Crap,” Callie blurted at once and sighed. “This is ridiculous. I’m nervous because you are here,” she explained then rolled her eyes at herself realizing how that must have sounded. “I mean I’m glad you’re here. I’m just nervous because I’m thinking you might be? And then I realize that me being nervous is what would actually make **you** nervous even if you weren’t, and… am I making any sense at all?” She turned to her girlfriend helplessly.

Arizona gave her a dazzling smile in return. Callie was an adorable mess. Before Arizona had a chance to respond, a blonde woman in a lab coat walked out of a room, chart in hand.

“Cal,” the woman smiled at her patient-turned-friend.

“Mer,” Callie nodded with a soft smile of her own. When you spend months together in which someone’s life is being saved against all odds, you end up going by first name basis. After all, Callie was Meredith’s favorite lab rat, the kind that lived.

Meredith turned to acknowledge Callie’s companion. As always she expected Addison, but when she noticed Arizona her eyes widened in surprise. In her defense, the surprise was gone a moment later and a smirk formed on her lips instead.

“I’d ask who’s your friend, but I already know,” she teased, earning a wide smile from Arizona.

“Yes, I figured you might,” Callie snorted. “Also, she’s my girlfriend. It’s a very important distinguish,” she boasted.

“Is it?” Meredith asked innocently. Arizona witnessed the whole exchange with utter amusement.

“It is. It means I can kiss her with tongue,” Callie explained with a serious expression, making Meredith burst into laughter.

“Hey, Arizona,” Meredith said softly, offering Arizona her hand. “I’m Meredith Grey. Callie’s doctor.”

“Hi, Meredith. I’d be the one she kisses with tongue,” Arizona joked, making the other two women laugh loudly.

“What are you even doing with this hobo?”  Meredith pointed at Callie playfully.

“Hobo? Have you seen her apartment? It’s gorgeous!” Arizona protested, “Plus, she’s a published author, now,” she added off-handedly.

“So I was notified via email,” Meredith commented flatly. “Twice.”

“I regret nothing,” Callie claimed.

“No, really, I feel honored that you chose to share your creation with me while you fooled the rest of the world with your sophisticated pseudonym,” Meredith continued, hand on her heart as if she was making an emotional confession.

“Shut up,” Callie whined. “You are rubbing off on me,” she told her smiling girlfriend who was thinking the exact same thing.

“Very mature. Off you go, the gown is on the bed, I’ll entertain your tongue friend,” Meredith promised. “Wow, that came out wrong.”

“Yeah, please don’t,” Callie protested and left Arizona and Meredith to deal with the aftermath of the awkward statement.

“Sorry, Dr. Grey, I’m a one gal kind of gal,” Arizona grinned.

“Meredith is totally fine for long time patients, their girlfriends, and celebrities,” Meredith corrected teasingly.

“Wow, two out of the three,” Arizona noted happily. “I always was an overachiever.”

* * *

Arizona spent the majority of the last two hours with Meredith Grey. With Callie being in and out of tests, and the other two women following her from room to room to keep her company, they mostly kept each **other** company, sitting and waiting for Callie.

It was the very last test of the day and Arizona couldn’t wait to go back to the hotel and cuddle with her exhausted girlfriend before they got separated again.

 _I don’t think I can go like this for much longer_ , Arizona thought. Her hatred towards long distance relationships was starting to take its toll. But not because the distance created mistrust or drama, she just missed Callie, all the time.

Arizona shook her head. It was too soon to think about things like that, about a permanent solution, but she could definitely do without the feeling of being uprooted every time one of them kissed the other goodbye.

“So,” she started, trying to focus on something else, “Callie told me she gets the results almost immediately?” Arizona was trying to keep her mind occupied, but she was also genuinely curious. All day long she kept thinking that she’s visiting the place that gave Callie her life back. There was something sacred about the place, about the process. She expected bright white hallways and cold neon lights galore, but that was not the case with the huge fancy clinic.

“Yes. We send the ones we’re done with straight away so they begin analyzing them. I can already tell you the first half of the day was all positive,” Meredith assured.

“ **Can** you tell me that? What about doctor-patient privileges?” Arizona teased. She was way too happy to hear that her girlfriend was okay to care about any violations.

“Tongue bodies have privileges,” Meredith shrugged, making Arizona cackle.

Throughout the day, Arizona found that she really liked the young doctor. Meredith was clearly smart, she also had a dry sense of humor that could seem cold, but there was so much caring underneath.

“Hey, Meredith?” Arizona tried carefully.

“Yeah?”

“I need to thank you. For saving her life,” Arizona explained quietly. She couldn’t find the words, but she wanted the other women to know how much it meant for her personally.

“You really don’t, Arizona, I was just doing my job,” Meredith assured. “And I love Callie. I’m really glad she pushed through. She’s a fighter.”

“She is. But you didn’t just save her life, you gave us a chance. You gave **me** a chance. To get to know her,” Arizona’s voice got choked up. “Did she ever tell you we met when I visited her in the hospital?”

“She did. When she was here. She was going on and on about how much hotter you are in real life,” Meredith joked, “but no one here actually believed her. We just figured that she wanted to improve her image with the cute nurses.”

“Oh my god, she never told me that,” Arizona confessed in amusement. “Did it help? With the nurses?”

“Are you kidding? They were all in love with her. They still are all over her when she comes for a checkup. The male nurses too, obviously.”

“Really? Should I go in there?” Arizona looked at the closed door in concern.

“Based on the way she’s looking at you, I’d say you are safe,” Meredith pointed out with a smirk, making Arizona blush.

“Well, anyways, two years ago I never thought I’d see her again. You gave me the chance to fall in love with her. You don’t know my life, so you don’t understand what an incredible gift you gave me,” Arizona admitted, reminiscing. “Not much has changed in my life, yet everything has, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome, but again, I was just doing my job. I’m really glad that you found each other, though,” Meredith admitted just as the door opened.

“Strong as a bull!” Callie announced victoriously as she came out of the room. “Or the female version of a bull. What would that be? A bulless?” she wondered in puzzlement.

“It’s a cow, you idiot,” Meredith stated flatly and Arizona shook her head in amusement.

“Right, duh. Did I mention I’m exhausted? And there’s also a headache forming,” Callie excused, rubbing her forehead.

“Get her home and put some coffee in her,” Meredith ordered Arizona. “Ladies, it’s been a pleasure. The first half of the day was clear. I’ll text you the results for the rest soon. Go, rest, I’ll see you in two months.”

“Bye, Mer,” Callie hugged Meredith tightly. Meredith never said anything, but always returned the hug.

“It was really nice meeting you,” Arizona offered, hugging the young doctor as well.

“Likewise. Bye, guys,” Meredith concluded and disappeared down the hall.

“Come on,” Arizona laced their hands together and pulled Callie towards the exit. “I have a cure for a headache that doesn’t involve coffee.”

* * *

Arizona was playing with Callie’s fingers. It was late afternoon and they were in bed, nude. Arizona was grateful for the early exams because that meant they could take a nap and still have most of the afternoon and evening together before their separate flights the following morning. Not that napping together didn’t count as a wonderful quality time, because it did, but she wanted to have time to talk to Callie, and take a bath with Callie and have lots of sex with Callie. It seemed like there was never enough time to do all of what she wanted to do with Callie.

 _Not this again. Not now._ She just wanted to bask in what she had at the moment. She started thinking back to the day’s events. The clinic was beautiful, in cancer-treatment standards. She assumed that if one must be hospitalized for months on in, Mayo was decent than most places. But it didn’t change the irrational guilt that she felt for not being there for Callie during that time.

She sighed.

“I really wish I knew you back then,” she finally admitted sadly, breaking the silence. “Thinking about you here alone for months…”

“I wasn’t alone. Addie and Mark took turns,” Callie clarified. She knew her girlfriend, the kind of person that she was, the way she felt about the world around her, but Callie didn’t want her to be miserable over something that wasn’t in their control. She also gave credit where credit was due and her best friends gave up whole months of their lives to be with her.

“It’s not the same as having your partner around,” Arizona pointed quietly, not looking at Callie yet still playing with her fingers. “It’s not the same as having someone who’s in love with you so deeply by your side.”

“No, it’s not,” Callie agreed and a shadow passed on her face. It disappeared so quickly Arizona thought she imagined it. “But if I felt for you then the way I feel now…” Callie stopped to form her thoughts. “I never would’ve wanted you to go through this. Not you.” That made Arizona stop what she was doing and turn to look at Callie.

“In sickness and in health doesn’t really start on your wedding day, Callie,” she stated seriously.

“Of course not, Arizona. You have me. All of me, present and future,” Callie promised softly. “But that past? I just can’t feel bad for not putting you through it. I can’t.”

Arizona nodded in understanding. “I just wish I could’ve been there for you when you were going through the worst time of your life,” Arizona admitted quietly, putting her hand on Callie’s arm and rubbing it up and down.

“You **were** ,” Callie argued. “You didn’t even know me yet you were. That’s how incredible you are.”

“Maybe I should’ve tried to visit again,” Arizona voiced some of her deepest, secret thoughts. “I would’ve been in the picture, I would’ve been present this whole time.” It was a statement of total commitment, but sadly, it made Callie snap.

“And get attached to a dying girl?” Callie mocked bitterly. “So we could fall in love within a week and you’d stick around with the tiniest of hopes? Know this frail shadow of who I actually am? Come on, Arizona. It wouldn’t have made a difference.” They couldn’t change the past. Callie didn’t **want** to change anything that brought them to where they were, and she just wanted to move on from the subject. But her words, even though not intentionally, cut Arizona deep.

“Well, clearly, it would have made a difference to **me** ,” Arizona choked. She knew Callie wasn’t trying to be cruel, but Arizona **did** get attached to Callie after that first visit. They may have not fallen in love at first sight, but there was a connection, a real, strong one and the proof of that was them, two years later, insanely in love. Without realizing it, Callie brushed off the very same trait that brought Arizona to her doorstep unannounced.

“I’m sorry,” Callie apologized sincerely once she saw Arizona was on the verge of tears. “I’m not saying this right and I’m hurting you,” she said sadly, “I’m belittling your feelings and that’s not what I’m trying to do.” She sighed heavily. This was exactly why she didn’t like discussing the subject. “Having you there back then? It would’ve changed **everything**. It would’ve been… god, it would’ve been amazing,” she explained. Letting herself get lost in the ‘what if’ for her girlfriend’s sake. “You’re such a light in my life, Arizona, and those were such dark times.” Callie never really talked about how hard it was for her back then. Arizona met her only once and even on that fateful day Callie had her brave front on. Callie was hoping that the confession would balance some of the very personal thoughts Arizona have shared. “That darkness… “ she took a breath and continued, “I would’ve hated myself if it had diminished your light. I wouldn’t want you around me and I would’ve also hated myself for wanting nothing **but** having you around me.”

Arizona swallowed hard and nodded in understanding. Both of them were constantly busy trying to protect the other. But Callie **did** ask her to join for this check-up, let her into that dark corner even if it was way more lit now, so Arizona couldn’t fault her completely. But she could’ve asked for more. Callie promised her the present and the future, and Arizona wanted to make sure Callie realized what that meant.

“Calliope,” she started quietly, “let’s hope we never have to deal with this again, but if we do, don’t you dare push me away,” Arizona warned.

“I won’t. I told you. Present and future,” Callie reminded, showing Arizona she understood.

“Promise!” Arizona demanded.

“I promise.”

* * *

“This ‘no leaving the country’ restriction of yours will be lifted soon and I can take you somewhere nice,” Arizona fantasized. She was sitting next to Callie in the private lounge at the airport, each waiting for her own flight.

“Oh, really? And where would that somewhere nice be?” Callie flirted, “and what would it entail?”

“Spain,” Arizona replied without missing a beat. “I’m thinking a private beach, sangrias in our hands. We could do some naked sunbathing, so we can really enjoy **all** the view,” Arizona smirked, satisfied with herself. “You’ll be **so** inspired you’ll double the word count of your novel.”

“I very much love that plan of yours,” Callie agreed enthusiastically. “It’s been so long since I’ve been somewhere… else. And to be there with you? Two more months, that’s all.”

“Oh! Six months anniversary trip?” Arizona suggested as she got up. She really needed to start heading to her gate.

“My thoughts exactly,” Callie stood up as well, putting her hands on Arizona’s hips. It never ceased to amaze her how well they fitted together. She knew all people who were ever in love always thought that, but she knew she was right, and they were wrong.

Arizona leaned in to peck Callie’s lips. “Okay. Hey, I know next week was my turn to come to New York, but since I fly out for the press tour that following Monday night I was hoping that you could fly in?” Arizona asked hopeful. “I’m sorry, I know it’s exhausting but…”

“Babe, Babe, stop. I would’ve had no issues what so ever with flying two weeks in a row if it meant seeing you,” Callie stated. “God knows you’ve stretched your schedule for me in the past, but…”

“But?”

“But my dad called earlier when you were in the shower and demanded that I come see them this weekend,” Callie explained apologetically.

“Demanded? So what if he demanded?” Arizona argued. She was upset. “Your girlfriend is going to be out of the country for three weeks. Can’t you go the following weekend?”  As she finished the question the PA system announced her flight was boarding.

“I haven’t been to see them since you came back from Belarus,” Callie admitted. “They’ve initiated every conversation we had since. I don’t even call them.”

“And while that’s a long time and you should really talk to your parents more,” Arizona scolded, “it can wait another week!”

“He said that if I won’t come this weekend he’ll freeze my fund again,” Callie shared. She was upset, too, but she didn’t have enough time to be resourceful.

“Are you serious? Your ‘we’re sorry for being shit during the cancer so here’s some money’ fund?” Arizona was fuming.

“Yes. He feels like I’ve been using them and their guilt, and I guess I have been,” Callie shrugged. “And while it might be an empty threat, I don’t want to risk the money that helps me come see you every other week.”

“You know I can pay for those tickets, Callie.”

“Arizona…” Callie warned.

“Fine, fine,” Arizona shook her head, she knew her girlfriend was a proud person, but this wasn’t the time to discuss this. She had a flight to catch and Callie losing her fund was about way more than just flying tickets. Arizona took a moment to think while Callie was staring at her miserably, helpless almost. This wasn’t a usual sight.

 “Well,” Arizona tried, “then how about you start your visit earlier and I go with you for a few days before the tour starts?” She offered. Callie stared at her in shock for a few moments before she started laughing hysterically.

“You are joking, right?” Callie questioned, positive that Arizona was pranking her.

“Why would I be joking?” Arizona wondered in confusion. The PA system announced her flight again.

“Arizona, you’re not coming to see my parents. You know that, right?” Callie asked in worry, starting to realize that Arizona’s offer was serious. She took her hands off of Arizona’s hips and took a step back.

“Why not?” Arizona shot back, now hurt. Callie stared at her in utter surprise. They never discussed Arizona meeting Callie’s parents. Callie was so sure it was a silent agreement between them that it wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

“Is this because I didn’t talk about you in public yet?” Arizona asked angrily once the silence was becoming too deafening. “Is this you punishing me?”

Callie could tell Arizona was about to cry. “What? No! Arizona, this has nothing to do with you not talking about us, I told you it didn’t matter and I meant it,” Callie reminded, now hurt too. “Frankly, I find it upsetting that you’d even think this way.

“You met my parents,” Arizona fired. A single tear streamed down her cheek.

“It’s different,” Callie defended softly and took a step towards Arizona, but her girlfriend backed away. “You know how they are,” she added sadly, not sure how to stop what was happening.

“They’re starting to come around, Callie,” Arizona almost begged.

“Yes, starting to. When they show some real progress **then** I’ll subject the most important person in my life to their hopefully less scrutinizing looks,” she really hoped her words would get through to Arizona. Arizona loved her words. But Callie suspected something more was at play and this wasn’t the time or place to discuss this. Just as Callie thought that, the final call for Arizona’s flight sounded. This time calling the fake name Arizona used.

“You don’t deserve this,” Callie tried again. She knew she was running out of time and it was going to be a month before she saw Arizona again. This was her one shot to not leave things like this between them. “Your parents are amazing. You deserve to be treated with respect. I’m doing this because I love you so much and…”

“Yeah, people who love other people let other people meet their parents!” Arizona barked and walked away, leaving a stunned Callie behind.  Even if deep down Arizona knew Callie was being sincere, her own history acted against her. She’s been to this rodeo before and she got completely run over by the bull. Or the cow.

Callie was completely lost. By the time her brain kicked back into gear, it was too late to run after Arizona. She took out her phone and composed a text. She knew Arizona’s phone was probably still on.

**Can I call you when I get back home? Even if it’s super late on the East coast? We should talk about this. I love you, more than anything.**

But Arizona never replied.


	13. Chapter 12

**_One Week Later…_ **

Callie was packing. If one can call aggressively throwing clothes into a suitcase, packing.

Addison who was watching her, wasn't happy. She kept shaking her head every other minute.

“You both promised I could be there when you have your first fight!” She complained. “I was totally robbed!”

“Really, Addison? **That’s** what you take from this? My girlfriend haven’t spoken to me in a week and we’re talking about how you weren’t there to bear witness to the whole embarrassing ordeal?” Callie snapped and glared at her friend with a look that could kill. Addison actually gulped. No one makes Addison Montgomery gulp. The physical reaction increased her levels of unhappiness.

“So what you’re saying is that it’s been a whole week and you haven’t told me?” Addison whined, “Callie, what happened to social etiquette? Good old manners? You’re not excused just because your girlfriend hasn’t been taking your calls!”

Callie gave her another murderous look before her shoulders slumped in defeat.

“Technically, I haven’t exactly called her,” Callie admitted sadly. There was shame there, too. “I don’t know if I should call her or give her some time,” she tried to explain.

 “Wait, you haven’t called her yet? Callie!” Addison scolded, irritation forgotten for the sake of knocking some sense into her best friend.

“She left me at the airport, Addison!” Callie reminded angrily. “I texted. Every day. I guess she just wasn’t ready to talk. **Isn’t** ready to talk,” Callie added sadly, slumping on the floor next to her suitcase, packing forgotten.

“You’re worried she’ll never be ready to talk,” Addison realized and sat down next to her friend.

“Yes,” Callie admitted in defeat. “And that makes me so angry because we’re so amazing and even if she calls now, she ignored me for a week. That’s not okay. She never actually listened to my reasons,” Callie added in a broken voice. Addison nodded but said nothing, she could tell there was more.

“I wanna go after her, but I can’t, she’s out of the country. And if she **was** here it’s pretty clear she doesn’t want to see me yet, which pisses me off, so what do I do? Stay pissed off? Let it go and make her listen to me once she gets back?” Callie wondered out loud most helplessly.

“How about you do both?” Addison offered softly.

“Yeah, that’s what I was thinking. Since I’m forced to wait and I’m pissed. That’s pretty much the default,” Callie pointed bitterly.

“Go enjoy some nice weather. Just give her a bit more time. Clearly this is about **her** and not about you. You guys gotten really close really fast, but it doesn’t mean you know everything there is to know about her. She’s not gonna give up on you, she can’t,” Addison decided.

Callie wished she could be as certain as Addison. She didn’t have doubts when it came to Arizona and herself in a very long time and she didn’t like to have those now. “How can you be so sure?” She asked miserably.

“Callie,” Addison took her friend’s hand and squeezed it softly, “she couldn’t even give up on you when you were dead.”

* * *

**_Three days later…_ **

Callie sat on the window seat in her old room in Miami, letting the breeze wash over her face. She didn’t miss much when it came to her old life, but she did miss **this**. She always liked that window seat and she always liked that breeze, too.

She had a notebook and a pencil in hand. Being sad and angry was just as big a motivator for a writer as being happy. While Callie was sad and looked out at the ocean thinking how much she **did** want to share it all with Arizona, wake up in the morning together to this view, she couldn’t entirely regret their fight. She stood by what she said to Arizona. All of it. The “I don’t want you to meet my parents” part just as much as the “I love you more than anything” part. She didn’t know how they could keep going if Arizona didn’t want to understand Callie was just trying to protect her.

This is why she couldn’t apologize. That didn’t mean that she didn’t text her girlfriend an “I love you,” every night. Just as a reminder. Just so Arizona would know there was a place for her to come back to when she was ready, even though Callie was upset by the deafening silence. Callie hoped that Arizona just needed time to process and that she’d come around, but she was also upset that Arizona didn’t process **with** her.

Callie wasn’t a person whose actions were dictated by her ego. She would’ve flown to face Arizona without a second thought, but she couldn’t. And since Arizona didn’t even reply to her texts and sent her to voicemail the first couple of times Callie tried to call, Callie gave up. She’d stick to reminding Arizona that she loves her via texts, that she was there if Arizona wanted her once she was back in the country, but Callie didn’t want to force Arizona’s hand although she knew that at some point, something would have to give.

And it wasn’t even the only thing on her mind. She’s been in Miami for two days and while her parents hadn’t bothered her about work, yet, she knew it was coming. Many questions were coming.

Callie wanted to write. That’s what she wanted to do. Being sick made her unwilling to spend time on things she didn’t love. It was true when it came to work and it was true when it came to relationships. All of them. She worked hard ever since she graduated, making her father happy. But **she** wasn’t happy and when she got sick her father wasn’t even around. She could tell he was trying, but the sting was still there. Her sickness may not have made her the kind of person who has no regards for consequences, but it did change her priorities.

She wondered if she should go back to school more than once, but she didn’t want to be a student. She just wanted to write. And she did. Sometimes for hours every day, leaving room for nothing in her life but her work and Arizona. Was she lucky that she didn’t need to worry about income while pursuing her dream? She was, and she knew that, but she did work and she worked hard. She just needed to be her usual master of words self and find a way to explain it to her father. It was hard, because she wasn’t at all in the mood to talk. But no doubt, the questions were coming.

* * *

 **I love you**.

Arizona stared at the text again. She knew what it would say. It said the same thing every day for the past ten. It made her teary eyed, it also made her feel ridiculous.

For the first couple of days she didn’t respond to Callie’s texts or answered her calls because she was upset, then, it was shame. She had time to calm down, time to realize that while Callie might not understand why this was such a sore subject, Arizona acted childish by ignoring her.

_At least I know she’s still there for me, I haven’t given her that privilege._

She felt selfish and it made her dread talking to Callie even more. Actors are so often perceived as self-centered, the last thing she wanted was for the woman whom she could actually see a future with, think that she was wrong in choosing Arizona.

“You chose me,” Callie always argued when Arizona said something similar to her current thoughts.

Arizona sighed heavily. She knew without a doubt that Callie **wasn’t** like her past failed endeavors. She knew Callie was trying to keep her safe, because that’s what they always did, but she grew up gay, she’d been through things. The fear of having people being ashamed of you, whether justified or not, isn’t easily forgotten, never goes away completely.

She knew she was being ridiculous, but she wasn’t in the place of doing something about it, not yet, and she knew the more she waited, the price she’d have to pay would be bigger.

It was coming, though, because she missed Callie so much that it both increased her fear and drove her mad with longing.

She was alone, abroad, forced to smile constantly, and all she wanted was Callie by her side. She cursed her fame, cursed Callie’s flight limitations, cursed her inability to pick up her phone and call the woman she loved.

 _Tomorrow_ , she thought in determination. She said the same thing every day for more than a week and she hoped her previous failures won’t be any indication for whether she’d actually do something the following day or not.

She drifted to sleep without even changing clothes.

* * *

“You have been awfully quiet since you got here, Calliope,” her father noted. He cared, even though sometimes he wasn’t sure **how** to care.

“She had a fight with her girlfriend,” Aria offered casually as she pushed another spoonful into her mouth.

“Shut up, Aria,” Callie warned. She told her sister about her fight with Arizona in confidence, the last thing she wanted was to see a smug smile on her parents’ face.

It was lunch time of the following day, Arizona ignored her text yet again, and it was wearing her down so much that she couldn’t even write, nor eat, let alone deal with her parents inquisitions. Well, her father’s at least. Her mother just sat there and tried to ignore the fact that the word “girlfriend” was thrown into the air.

“Oh, come on Sis, you need to talk about this,” Aria prodded.

“ **Here**? **Here** is where I need to talk about this?” Callie asked in aggravation, bluntly gesturing to their parents.

“Mija, we’re just worried about you,” Carlos tried softly yet firmly. “You’ve been locked in your room ever since you got here, you hardly touch your food, or speak. We’re just concerned.”

“ **Now** you’re worried about me?” Callie could hardly take it anymore. The whole scenario was absurd. “Remember when I had that whole cancer inconvenience? Right after that whole bisexual inconvenience?” Callie challenged, making both her parents look down at their plates in shame. “You weren’t exactly present or worried **then**. You are the reason why **she** was hardly ever there when I needed my family the most!” She concluded, pointing at Aria who took her turn at staring at her plate in shame. Their parents threatened to cut Aria off if she kept in touch with Callie. Aria managed to sneak to LA and sit by her sister’s bed every now and then, but it wasn’t what either of them wished it would be.

“I’m sorry, Callie,” Aria admitted, now looking directly in her sister’s eyes. “I would’ve done things differently today,” she vowed sincerely, not bothered by the looks her parents were giving her. “What?” she looked at them defiantly, “say something! All you wanted was a second chance, for her to be here. Well? She’s here, she’s giving you a second chance. What have you been doing with it?”

“She doesn’t even talk to us!” Carlos excused, looking directly at Callie so she could at least know she wasn’t being ignored while referred to. His eyes were almost pleading.

“What do you want me to talk about?” She yelled. “My very gay love life and how it’s currently in shambles?” Callie countered.

“I’d like to know, for example, when are you going to get a job,” Carlos demanded.

_Aaaand here it is._

But he wasn’t done. “You’ve been using our money”

“Guilt money,” Callie cut in.

“Ever since…” Carlos tried to continue, but he knew he’s leading himself to a dead end.

“Ever since what? Ever since **cancer**?” She fired, making him sigh. Lucia was still observing the whole exchange quietly. Never participating. In a way, it was worse. Anger she could handle, but indifference?

“Mija, we have a lot to make up for, and we’re happy to give you that money.”

“You don’t seem too happy,” she observed.

“ **But** , we want to know what’s the end game here,” he explained.

“I **have** a job, Daddy. I’m a writer. I write. You might not know this, but it’s a very time consuming profession,” Callie laid out, already knowing it was pointless.

“We just don’t want you to throw your life away,” he argued.

“It’s **my** life to do with as I please. You don’t want to give me money anymore, fine! Don’t! But somehow I think you’re not going to pull that trust fund card again so you better stop shoving it in my face whenever it suits you!” She stood up, raging. “I gave years of my life for this family and the company. I almost died. I don’t want to make **you** happy anymore. I wanna make **me** happy!”

“Calliope, this girlfriend of yours…”

“Yeah, that,” Callie spit out, “your ultimatum really didn’t help matters at all!” Callie knew she shouldn’t have directed **that** specific anger at him and that even though the ultimatum was a low blow, her father wasn’t at fault when it came to her fight with Arizona. But it was easier than directing her anger at her currently MIA girlfriend.

“Calliope, we’re trying,” he admitted sincerely. “We want to know more about your life. All of it.”

“Do you?” Callie challenged.  “Mom?” She turned to look at her mother who in turn went back to look at her plate.

 “I’d like to be excused,” Callie said but didn’t wait for permission. She was never going to wait for permission ever again.

“Calliope,” her father half warned half begged, but she kept walking, and she thought she heard her mom breath in relief.  Maybe it was a sigh. Callie didn’t dare to hope.

* * *

Arizona was doing her best not to doze off. She had one more interviewer to see before she could wrap another successful day of her press tour. She may have gotten up in the middle of the night to change to pjs and deem herself pathetic, but the change of clothes didn’t make her feel more comfortable, and she ended up sleeping for less than three hours.

She had to endure another day of being asked the same questions over and over again, and worse than that, she had to endure another day without talking to Callie. It had been unbearable since she left her at that airport, but now it was a whole new level of unbearable and she didn’t have enough energy to come up with a fitting word for that.

_Unbearable-est, probably._

She had ten minutes break and she couldn’t wait to be done with the exhausting day that came after an exhausting night and crawl into bed. Her empty bed. She stared at her phone.

_Nothing yet today._

But it was still early.

_She’s probably having lunch with her family right now._

She knew she wasn’t being fair. Knowing that she could count on those texts, **wait** for them longingly. She had to do something really major to be worthy of forgiveness after her behavior. It wasn’t even about the fight anymore, she realized, it was about how she dealt with the aftermath. Arizona Robbins wasn’t a person who ran, but she’s been burnt and badly, and poor Callie walked right into Arizona’s Achilles heel.

She was lost in thought until her phone suddenly vibrated. She picked her phone apathetically, expecting it to be Teddy, April or even her mom, but it wasn’t.

**I love you.**

Something made Callie text earlier, Arizona understood right away and it broke her heart. Her girlfriend needed her and how long before she stopped sending those messages? Until she gave up on her?  Arizona swallowed hard.

_I gotta start somewhere._

**I love you too. I’m so so sorry.** She typed and stared at her message.

 _No, it’s not enough_ , she realized, deleting the draft just as the last interviewer of the day walked into the room.

The interview itself went by quickly enough with some more unoriginal questions. And then came **the** question. The one that people kept on asking her, the one that she always waved off.

 “Are you seeing anyone?” The interviewer inquired.

“You’d never ask any of the guys that,” Arizona stated in exhaustion. He was the last one, so he got all the wrath. She was about to recite her usual reply. She wanted to say no, weirdly, what came out instead was “but you’re lucky that I’m so happy,” she admitted to him and herself, knowing how easy the rest was going to be ”you know, the shouting it from the roof tops kind, that I’d say, yes, I’m seeing someone, who is my girlfriend, and the most amazing person in the world but that’s all you’ll get today,” she smiled at him and felt like her entire body was floating. She knew the interview wouldn’t air before the following day but it didn’t matter, **this** was what she needed to do, and now it was done. She got up, took a deep breath, and left the shocked interviewer behind.

* * *

Callie was playing with the peas in her dinner plate. She had no appetite and she was at an all time low. She had yet to text Arizona and she didn’t know if she would. She wanted to believe that once dinner was over she would do just that, but the previous day, after she cleared out of the table, she texted her girlfriend earlier than usual. She just needed a sign and she was robbed of that by the woman she loved.

_Maybe that’s all that was. It was fast and crazy from the get go. Maybe we reached the ending point._

But she couldn’t accept that. One fight and they were over? No. What Addison told her a few days before finally resonated with her. She loved Arizona with all her might and she knew she had months to get close to her in the most intimate way, to share their deepest thoughts, and yet she felt like they hardly even scratched the surface. One minute, she couldn’t breathe when she wasn’t around Arizona, they celebrated birthdays, had visits on set, went to checkups, and the next minute, they haven’t been talking for two weeks. They’ve only officially been together for four and a half months. Callie survived death, there was no way this was the length of time the universe granted her with the person who awakened feelings within herself she never felt before. She wouldn’t let it be it.

“Calliope, did you hear a word of what I was saying?” Her father demanded in irritation.

“No,” she admitted bashfully. She was many things, and her relationship with her parents was complicated, but she wasn’t rude.

Carlos sighed in near defeat.

“I was saying that we have a lot of making up to do, to earn your forgiveness. We don’t even forgive ourselves, we might never do. But we can make some progress and for that to happen we all need to listen. We need to listen to you when you’re trying to explain to us something about your life we don’t quite grasp and **you** need to listen until we finish our sentences so you know what are my actual intentions when I point out something to you,” he finished with conviction.

Callie stared at him in confusion. She could see he was genuine but she simply didn’t understand what he meant.

“I don’t understand,” she admitted sheepishly, making her father groan in frustration.

“For example,” Carlos started, seeming to consider his words carefully, “when I asked about your work and mentioned the money we give you,”

“Again with the work!” Callie whined.

“Calliope Iphigenia Torres, you listen to your father!” Lucia Torres interfered for the first time since Callie got home. Callie stared at her in shock, but Lucia didn’t back down from the stare. When Callie turned to Aria all she got from her sister was a nod of encouragement.

“Okay,” Callie finally understood, “I’m listening ‘till you finish your sentence so I know what your actual intentions are.” That won her a grateful smile from her father.

“I’m okay with giving you money, Calliope. You are a smart, responsible girl. I’m even okay with you trying that… writing thing of yours.” Callie groaned, but he ignored her and continued. “I’m just afraid that your girlfriend is only in it for the money,” he finally admitted, making Callie snort.

 “Trust me, she isn’t in it for the money,” she stated matter-of-factly but then she froze and gave him an incredulous glance. “That’s what scares you?” She inquired softly. Her father was always afraid that her suitors weren’t genuine in their intentions, this much she knew. But she was surprised that his issue with her girlfriend wasn’t with the girl part, but his good old money concern.

_Maybe something **is** changing?_

“It is,” Lucia pitched in, not realizing she answered Callie’s inner question as well. “Calliope, I can’t say that we totally understand this, or accept it just yet, but we’re trying. And you were right. If you were being judged by God, he has deemed you worthy. This second chance you’ve got… we’re not going to stand in your way. We’re just going to ask you for the same thing – a second chance,” she finished, voice trembling.

“Mom, I want to, I do. But it’s really hard to forget that you weren’t there when we all thought I was going to die,” Callie admitted in pain. This will always remain a scar, she knew.

“Then don’t forget,” Carlos offered. “You shouldn’t and neither should we. We learn from our mistakes. But maybe we can try to move forward, maybe in time… things will fall into place. And if not, if our relationship is changed for good, then we will adjusted to something new,” he promised. Callie wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince more, her, or himself, but she was at least willing to try.

“Okay,” her voice was hesitant. “How do we even start?”

“You let us get to know you again. The new you,” Lucia explained, but Callie could tell it was more of a plead.

“Tell them about your short story, Callie!” Aria nudged excitedly. Callie wished she wouldn’t. She still felt like her parents were judging her and she was very proud of this achievement. One that she would never have gotten without Arizona’s support and faith in her.

“What short story?” Carlos asked in interest.

“I,ummm… I wrote a short story and it got published. On my birthday,” she offered and couldn’t help the smile that crept on her face at the memory.

_Let them judge._

It was a good day, they couldn’t take that away from her.

“It was?” Carlos asked in awe. She looked at him, surprised, then turned to her mom and could see actual impression on her face.

“It was,” she finally confirmed.

“That’s great, Mija,” her mother offered. “Forgive me for asking, but do they pay you for something like this? I’m just curious to learn how this world works,” she was quick to add.

“They did. It’s not going to make me rich, mom. I guess I’m lucky I already am,” she finished with a smirk, making her three companions laugh, actually laugh.

_What is happening? Is this some weird parallel universe?_

“So are you going to publish more of those?” Carlos asked. She could tell by his tone that he was curious, too, and she realized that indeed, she never stopped and explained to them how that industry works. In her defense, they never gave her the feeling that they wanted to know, but now they truly did.

“I hope so,” she confessed. “And I submitted more things, but I’m focusing on writing my full length novel now.”

“That’s very impressive, Mija,” her father nodded.

“Yeah, I need to prove to myself that I can do something like this. **Then** prove it to the rest of the world,” she revealed in a moment of deep honesty. Almost like she forgot they were there. A second later she was reminded by her father.

“And this girlfriend of yours, what does she do?” he asked.

 _Assuming she’s still my girlfriend,_ she groaned internally.

“She’s an actress, Daddy,” Callie answered and actually put some food in her mouth.

“That’s not a real job, Mija,” he stated unaware, making her laugh so hard she nearly choked on her food.

“It is when you make millions,” Callie mumbled once she finished chewing. “You can’t accept that being a writer is a profession and a second later diss on being an actress” she added, now louder.

“Your girlfriend makes millions?” Aria asked in shock. Her sister never missed anything.

“Aria, not now,” Lucia demanded. She, too, didn’t miss the comment and she wished everyone would just stop with their commentary so Callie could explain.

“She does,” Callie confirmed and turned to her father. “So you don’t need to worry about greed and whatnot.” she finished and took another spoonful.  Aria dropped her silverware loudly on the table.

“Shit, Callie, I know who your girlfriend is!” Aria yelled.

“Aria! Language!” Lucia scolded, but Callie just sat there, smiling victoriously.

“Wait, how do you know that?” she asked once the moment of utter pride passed and she realized her sister wasn’t supposed to know. She never mentioned Arizona by name or her profession.

“Who is it?” Lucia demanded.

“It’s Arizona Robbins, isn’t it?” Aria looked directly at her shocked sister and seemed very pleased with herself.

“How…?” Callie tried.

“Arizona Robbins?” Carlos pondered as he tried to remember. “Is she that beautiful, blue eyed, blonde actress?”

“Many actresses are beautiful, blue eyed, blondes,” Callie scoffed and looked up in feigned boredom, “mine has an academy award.”

When no one said anything for a few moments she turned to look at them. They seemed actually impressed.

“Are you gonna tell me how the hell you found out now?” Callie demanded. “Did you go through my phone? Because we’re not teenagers anymore, Aria.”

“Callie, you really don’t know?” her sister asked in amused puzzlement.

“Know what? Enlighten me, please?” She was starting to get irritated.

“There was this interview that aired earlier today. She said she had a girlfriend,” Aria snorted at the shocked expression on her sister’s face.

“She did?” Callie’s brain couldn’t process the information it was receiving.

“Said girlfriend is the most amazing person in the world, if Arizona is to be believed,” Aria continued, all the while a smug smile on her face. “Really, Calz, I’d assume you’d have a google alert on her or something. You mentioned she makes millions, so she must be an A-lister,” Aria explained the logic, “who also happens to be gay, and had a girlfriend for a relatively short amount of time. Elementary,” she concluded.

Callie looked at her parents who stared at her with raised eyebrows.

“Excuse me,” she said quietly then bolted upstairs and into her room.

“A successful talented multi-Millionaire actress,” Carlos observed. “I guess she could’ve done worse.” He took a bite of his now cold brioche bun and winced.  “She isn’t a vegetarian, is she?”


	14. Chapter 13

Arizona answered her phone excitedly without even looking at the caller ID. She was so certain she knew who it was. Hopeful, too. But sadly it wasn’t the voice of the woman who made her heart soar. Callie had a whole day to call her but she still hadn’t done it.

“Robbins!” The voice on the other side of the line sounded pissed.

“What is it, Bailey?” Arizona yawned as she answered her publicist. She had a feeling she knew what this was about and she wasn’t going to apologize.

“You announce to the whole world that you have a girlfriend and you don’t think of discussing it with me first?” Came the predictable rage.

“Why the hell do I need to discuss my personal life with anybody first?” Arizona demanded fuming mad. No matter how obvious it was to her that she was her own master, people around her forgot it way too often. She wasn’t going to put up with it anymore, not when it came to things like her relationship. “What’s the big deal? Can’t you just be happy that I’m happy?” She was also hurt. Yes, Miranda Bailey had been her publicist for years, but Arizona also considered her a friend.

“No! Because this makes you seem less desirable now that you’re not single; to both men **and** women,” Bailey explained matter-of-factly with no trace of regret in her voice.

“Well, I don’t give a damn,” Arizona shouted, surprising herself and her publicist.

“Arizona, we need to put a spin on this,” Bailey sighed, “it’s already out there, so I’m not telling you to take it back.”

“Good,” Arizona clenched her teeth, “‘cause that would have made you fired.”

“ **But**...” Bailey continued, ignoring the threat even though she had to admit she actually believed it this time, “we need to get this under control. Get a general phrasing that we both feel comfortable with.”

“ **I** feel pretty comfortable with ‘I have a girlfriend and I’m madly in love with her,’” The moment she said it out loud she grew sad all over again. And she had enough. People always told her what to do. Callie being around made her life so much better in general, that she forgot, sometimes, the information she entrusted Callie with when they first met - that she wasn’t always happy.

“Arizona, I understand your frustration, but…”

“Do you?” Arizona cut her off. “Just… discuss it with April, I’m busy.” She wanted to keep her line open and she **really** didn’t want to have to justify her decision, especially not when she felt like she should have taken that step even sooner.

“April was the one who told me to talk to you,” Bailey admitted.

_Traitor._

“She said it’s your life and she can make you do a lot but she’s not going to take part in the diminishing of your joy,” Bailey added.

_Not a total traitor._

“Well, then, listen to April, she’s wise,” Arizona pointed out.

“Arizona, we agreed that if something serious ever came up, you were to discuss it with me. Since when do you not listen to me?” Bailey inquired and Arizona could’ve sworn that she sounded hurt.

“Since I’ve been happy for the first time in years and since I’m sick of over-analyzing things,” Arizona confessed.

“This is different, isn’t it?” Bailey tried, not specifying what ‘this’ was, but Arizona knew.

“It is,” Arizona admitted softly.

“Well, then you better prepare her for what’s coming,” Bailey warned, this time not as a scolding, but instead out of genuine care.

“I will. She’ll handle it like a pro because she’s the strongest person I know. But I will. If she ever speaks to me again,” Arizona promised sadly.

“Already? You fool! What did you do?”

* * *

Two hours later the phone rang again. She was clad in a towel after a much needed shower and she found no reason to rush. Bailey was just the first in many calls that came in to congratulate/investigate her. She knew she had to call about fifty people back (her mother included) and reply to at least one hundred and fifty texts messages. But none of them were from Callie.  She didn’t know how long before her girlfriend called, but she knew she brought the waiting upon herself.

 _If she doesn’t call in the next couple of hours I’ll call her. And tell her everything_ , Arizona thought. By the time she got to her phone, the ringing stopped.

She saw her girlfriend’s name on the top of the missed calls list and gasped. She dialed right back without a second thought. One ring, two rings, three rings, and nothing. Arizona couldn’t help but chuckle as she imagined her girlfriend staring at the ringing phone, glaring at it as if it was an offensive object.

 “Hi,” Callie finally answered, cautiously.

“Hi,” Arizona smiled softly. Whatever was going to happen, no matter how much trouble she was in, she longed to hear that voice.

“God, it’s good to hear your voice,” Callie sighed in relief, repeating Arizona’s own thoughts out loud.

“Yours, too. I missed you,” Arizona admitted.

_Stupid. Not talking to her was **your** doing. You don’t get to tell her that you missed her. _

“I’m sorry I just called,” Callie sighed, choosing to not acknowledge Arizona’s comment. “I didn’t hear about the interview until dinner last night and by that point it was the middle of the night over there.”

Arizona laughed bitterly.

“It’s okay, please, don’t apologize for taking the time to call me, I don’t think I can handle that.”

“I didn’t call just because of what you did. I mean… I guess I’m trying to say I didn’t need you to do that,” Callie tried to explain in frustration.

“I know.”

“You do? Then why did you?” Callie asked in confusion. She was sure the interview was Arizona’s way of apologizing. No matter how many times Callie told Arizona she wasn’t in a rush, she felt like Arizona didn’t believe her.

“Because **I** needed me to do that,” Arizona confessed softly. “I’m really, really sorry, Callie.”

“What happened, Arizona?” Callie asked and Arizona could hear the fear in her voice. She didn’t like it. She was hoping that the interview she gave would assure Callie that if she still wanted her, Arizona was hers. Yet here Callie was, still confused and unsure. 

“One minute we were on the top of the world, the other… well, I haven’t heard from you in two weeks,” Callie continued, sounding heartbroken. “I thought…”

“I’m so sorry, Callie. I’m horrible. You kept assuring me with your texts, and I… I gave you nothing back. I’m sorry.”  Arizona was hoping Callie could tell how sincere she was. Under normal circumstances, Callie could read her like an open book, but Arizona knew she’d been acting in a way that was confusing to say the least, and she was just hoping she didn’t break them beyond repair. “I should’ve handled this differently.”

“Then why didn’t you?” Callie inquired miserably.

“This had nothing to do with you. You… god, you’re amazing,” Arizona smiled as her girlfriend’s face appeared in her head but then it quickly fell when she heard Callie sniffling from the other side of the line. “Callie, please don’t cry. This is not your fault. You didn’t deserve this. I know I made you question yourself, it’s the worst thing I could’ve done to you. I love you **so** much,” Arizona choked on her own words. The conversation wasn’t going as well as she hoped. She had yet to explain herself and her choices.

“I love you, too,” Callie breathed out and Arizona knew that once again, Callie was giving her what she knew Arizona needed. A space to explain herself without doubting where they stood. Arizona sighed heavily and gave herself a quick inner pep-talk.

“At first I was just so mad and then I was too ashamed of the way I handled this that I couldn’t face you. Clearly making it worse,” Arizona laughed sarcastically.

“Why were you so mad? Arizona, I really **was** just trying to protect you,” Callie pleaded.

 “I know, Calliope, I…” she took a few breaths, gathering the nerve to tell the story. “Remember I mentioned my ex, Joanne?” she finally started.

“Yeah,” Callie said in confusion, “but you didn’t say much, just the mention of her name. I figured that there wasn’t much to tell or that you didn’t want to tell it yet.” Callie’s voice was getting stronger, more sure, as if she knew Arizona was about to share a painful memory.

“Yeah,” Arizona chuckled, “you can say that. Tim used to call her ‘she who must not be named.’ Obviously that nickname stuck. So yeah, I wasn’t too keen to talk about her,” Arizona admitted bitterly, “but I want to talk about her now. Calliope, you and I… we work so great together, I sometimes forget that we’re relatively new.”

“I know what you mean. I feel like I’ve known you forever and then I realize there’s still so much we don’t know about each other,” Callie offered softly.

“But I want to,” Arizona added quickly, that is what she realized over the past few days. “I want you to know everything about me in ways no one ever knew before. If you want that.”

“You know that I do, Arizona.” It was evident that as much as Callie was an understanding girlfriend, she was getting annoyed and wanted Arizona to get to the point. Arizona could imagine the scowl between Callie’s eyebrows and it made her smile.

“Fine, okay. I’ll get to the point. The very sour point,” she laughed lightly. “I met Joanne a few years ago. It was before I won my academy award. I’m saying this because back then I wasn’t as big of a name, so now everything is even harder. I’m not making an excuse, I’m just…”

“Arizona…” Callie warned.

“Right, yeah. Back to the actual story. So I met her at this fancy Hollywood party which in retrospect should’ve been a red flag, but I try to not just deem people shallow simply because they attend certain events.”

“Which you also attended,” Callie pointed out matter-of-factly.

“Right,” Arizona smirked, happy that Callie was participating enough to tease her. “She was pretty, and nice, and a photographer which I found interesting. You know, not fashion photography, more of the National Geographic kind, and I thought it meant she was deep, and adventurous, and experienced. So when she asked for my number, I said yes. It’s not like it’s easy to make real romantic connections when you’re always weary of the other person’s agenda.”

“That’s why certain people go to hospitals to find their better halves,” Callie shrugged.

“I love you,” Arizona replied, realizing Callie was letting her know that they were going to be okay before she was even done with the story.

“Yeah, yeah, do continue so I know about your troubled past and can stop being mad at you,” Callie urged, making Arizona breath in relief.

“So we hit it off, and we’re together for about six months, constantly sneaking around, which, I thought was for my benefit, what with the paparazzi and all. Then one day I ask her to come see my parents who were in town,” Arizona was about to continue when she heard Callie scoffs from the other side of line.

“You took me to meet your parents way sooner,” Callie noted smugly.

“Yes, my love. That’s ‘cause you’re like no other. Can I continue the story? You’re turning this whole dramatic reveal into a very amusing thing.”

“I put the fun in funtastic. More story!” Callie demanded. It seemed like Arizona’s validation made Callie feel better within their conversation.

“So I asked her to come see Mom and Dad, and she made some excuse about her schedule. Well, now I know it was an excuse, then I just assumed it didn’t work out so I got bummed but figured next time, you know?” Callie just hummed. “So we keep going and then two months later my folks visit again and she says she’s gonna come to dinner and then lo and behold, as we sit and wait for her and she’s already twenty minutes late, she calls and cancels. Something schedule related, again.”

“Bitch.”

“Wait for it, Calliope. So I was like ‘no way my girlfriend of eight months is lying, right?’ I had to assume the best because, why wouldn’t I? I thought I loved her.”

“Thought?” Callie asked with a hint of self satisfaction in her voice. Arizona groaned.

“Callie, please don’t make me say it.”

“Say what?” Callie inquired innocently.

“That ever since we’ve met every other relationship I had pales in comparison and I didn’t really know what it means to love someone until we got together. That,” Arizona concluded matter-of-factly.

“Oh, that,” Callie replied, again smugly, making Arizona sigh.

“Okay, you got the compliments you were fishing for. I’m gonna continue with my heartbreaking tale.” She was secretly enjoying their banter and she knew her annoyance wasn’t fooling Callie at all. “So a few weeks later **her** parents come to town. I was asking her about having dinner out together for the **first time ever** , yeah, you heard that right.  She blurted out about how she can’t because her parents are in town. I think that if she had a while longer to think about it she wouldn’t have mentioned them. Of course I was overjoyed. I told her that it was perfect, and that I can join, and meet them and we can finally take the next step. I was sure we were headed to a new chapter, you know? The public one which I was **so** ready for. You know what it’s like when you struggle with your sexual orientation. Once you’re finally out of that closet, you never wanna go back in, and dating when you’re famous sometimes feels like that with all the hiding.”

“Right.”

“So she says it’s not a good idea, and we get into this fight, and finally after I sort of push her into the corner, she screams at me that they don’t know about me.”

“Bitch.”

“Seriously, Callie, not yet. You’re still waiting for it.”

“Okay. I just don’t want to miss it,” Callie said and Arizona knew she was pouting. She loved how Callie was on her side when Arizona was basically trying to explain why she hurt her for a whole two weeks.

“Trust me, when the bitch moment comes you’ll know. You are adorable by the way,” Arizona chuckled.

“Thank you. Back to the story!” Callie sounded like a kid during bedtime.

“I stormed out, because I was confused, but mostly hurt. I mean, my girlfriend of almost a year is yet to even mention my existence to her parents and…”

“I told my parents all about you yesterday,” Callie blurted out, making Arizona’s body wash with warmth.

“You did?” She asked happily.

“Yeah. Aria totally guessed who you were. That’s how I even knew about the interview. Okay, not now. More story.”

“Fine but you have to tell me all about how it went later!” Arizona demanded excitedly.

“Promise.”

“So I don’t hear from her for a couple of days and I’m starting to think – it’s me, isn’t it? She thinks I’m ashamed of her because we’ve been sneaking around. She thinks I’m not ready to acknowledge her existence, so she’s building these walls to protect herself.”

“Oh, Honey,” Callie offered gently, her voice caressing Arizona with so much compassion.

“And so I have this interview a few days later, and I’m asked about having a significant other, and I figured this was my chance to prove my love to her.”

“Uh oh, this sounds vaguely familiar,” Callie points out in concern.

“Maybe, except that you guys are nothing alike which is why you’re on the other side of the line talking to me now and she did what I’m about to tell you.”

“Okay,” Callie allowed, sounding a bit more calm.

“I didn’t mention her in name, I just said that I had a girlfriend and go home all happy and sure that I just solved all of our relationship issues.”

“But little did you know…” Callie started her next sentence for her, making her smile.

“That she would actually flip. She came to my place the following evening, after the thing aired, and she yelled. And basically admitted that she never actually came out, nor that she had any intention to. She wasn’t even entirely sure she liked women,” Arizona scoffed as she relived the moment.

“Woah.”

“I know. I finally made her admit that she liked being around the money and the nice things. Which is ridiculous because we hardly ever went out and when we did it was for crowded events where people could never tell we were more than just friends. But I bought her every little thing she ever mentioned, even in passing, and we always ordered in fancy foods, and we luxuriously furnished her apartment.”

“Arizona…” Callie tried to comfort.

“You know me. When I’m all in, I go all out,” Arizona tried to brush off, but Callie heard the hurt in her voice.

“I know, Babe, it’s one of the most beautiful things about you.”

“I love you, but I’m not even at the worst part yet,” Arizona admitted sadly.

“I figured. Go on.”

“Eventually she packed all of her stuff that was in my apartment, told me to not call her again, and left. But I was so confused. You share a year of your life with someone. You think you’re on the same page, you try to tell the world how happy that person makes you and all of a sudden you realize it was all a lie and that you’ve been used for months. So I needed to confront her. To at least hear that her feelings for me were real because I started doubting everything she’d ever told me.”

“Understandable.”

“I texted her, asking to meet, but she never replied. I tried to call, same thing. I know it’s an awful feeling Calliope, so I’m even more sorry.”

“Please don’t remind me. I was starting to like you again. Just finish the story.”

Arizona sighed. The next part was her least favorite in a series of very unfavorable memories. “I finally went to her place and banged on her door. But she didn’t open. I thought she wasn’t there but who the fuck knows. I tried it again in the following couple of days. Same result. On the third day I got the restraining order that she filed against me.”

“Okay, it has to be now, right?”

“Yes,” Arizona couldn’t help but chuckle. Her girlfriend always found a way to make her feel better.

“What a fucking bitch!” Callie stated. “Unbelievable!”

“Yeah, she really was. It got thrown out of course, but god, can you imagine the PR fiasco it could’ve been? Not to mention, embarrassing. Bailey was pissed and I was just so sad. I didn’t know why I deserved this,” Arizona could feel the tears coming up. It was a long time ago and she was past it, but the memory still hurt her, and the realization that she almost lost Callie over it hit her full force as she was reliving the past.

“Wow, Arizona, with your stalker history I’m even more impressed that you showed up at my door unannounced,” Callie tried to lighten the mood. It didn’t work this time.

“Calliope…” Arizona pleaded, miserably.

“Arizona, listen to me. I’m absolutely joking. I think you read the signs wrong with Joanne. Or she very conveniently sent out the wrong signal. But you were never wrong about us, not for a second,” Callie said genuinely, making sure Arizona really heard her. “You showed up at my apartment that day because you felt like we formed a special connection and that there was mutual attraction and you were absolutely right.”

Arizona sighed in relief. “Yeah?” she asked, her voice sounding almost childlike in hopefulness.

“Absolutely,” Callie assured. “You know that. And you know that we’re different.”

“I know. It’s just triggered something in me that I guess I didn’t know I was still dealing with. I haven’t been in a serious relationship since then. I just couldn’t see how it could work.” Arizona explained. Callie knew the chronology, but she didn’t know the reasons, until now. “And then there was us,” Arizona added in a low voice, letting the magnitude of the admission sink in for both of them.

“So that’s why your father made that comment about your unfortunate romantic history when we met,” Callie finally realized.

“He did?”

“Yeah. I think it was his way of saying that he liked me, maybe?”

“I think so, too,” Arizona agreed, wiping her tears.

“Hey,” Callie started softly.

“Yeah?”

“Wouldn’t it been much better if you told me all of this face to face?” Callie wasn’t trying to make Arizona feel bad, she was just trying to make a point. If they didn’t learn from their mistakes, they were doomed.

“It would’ve,” Arizona admitted. “I’m sorry, Calliope. For all of it. I love you so much. So, so much. I felt so crappy throughout this entire week and all I wanted was to talk to you and I knew it was my own fault that I was not. Do you forgive me?”

Callie sighed heavily. That was the million dollar question. After all, Callie vowed to not waste time on things and people who she didn’t love. But she loved Arizona more than anything, she told Arizona so herself.

“I do,” Callie finally said in a way that told Arizona she meant it, “but you can **never** do something like this ever again.”

“I promise.  And about your parents, I just want you to know I’m not afraid of challenges.”

“I know that, Arizona.”

“You’re my girl and I’m so proud that you are.” Arizona breathed out. Just saying the words gave her pleasure. “I want to be a part of every aspect of your life.”

“I want that, too,” Callie promised quietly.

All of a sudden, Arizona started laughing hysterically.

“What is it?” Callie asked, dumbfounded yet amused.

“How are we supposed to have our first make up sex if you’re not with me?” Arizona inquired between fits of laughter, making Callie join her wholeheartedly. When the laughter died down they were silent for a few moments. Each smiling on her end of the line, enjoying the comfort.

“Join me,” Arizona said finally.

“What? Callie asked in confusion.

“Babe, come on,” Arizona pleaded. “I know you can’t leave the country yet, but when I get back and do a few stops in the states, come with me. Change of scenery and all that. Five stars hotels every night.”

“Really?” Callie sounded hopeful.

“Don’t sound so happy. It’ll be boring more often than not,” Arizona noted.

“But at least we’ll be bored together?”

“God, yes. Being bored together with you sounds like a dream,” Arizona’s voice sounded distant.

“A dream that is two weeks away,” Callie sighed. “Thanks a lot, medical trial.”

“Your cancer was always an inconvenience,” Arizona noted.

“Yes, yes it was.”


	15. Chapter 14

**_Two weeks later…_ **

**“** Hey, listen…” Callie tried once Arizona opened her suite’s door.

“Oh, thank god,” Arizona practically pounced on her, ignoring the warning that Callie was about to give her.

“Ari…” Callie gasped, trying to pull away but her girlfriend would have none of it as she pulled her and her carry-on into the room, shut the door behind them, and threw Callie roughly against it while kissing her senseless.

“I love you,” she reminded hoarsely between kisses.

“I know, but…” Callie sentence was cut off by her own moan when Arizona’s lips found her neck.

“I missed you,” Arizona confessed before returning to Callie’s neck and sliding a hand under Callie’s shirt to cup her breast. Callie moaned in pleasure and as her breath caught in her throat, she started to cough uncontrollably, untangling and distancing herself from Arizona.

“Calliope? Are you okay?” Arizona asked in concern, not sure if to go tap her girlfriend’s back or give her some space.

“No, Arizona, I’m sick,” Callie rolled her eyes. “It’s a cold!” She quickly added once she saw the horror on Arizona’s face.

“Are you **sure** it’s not cancer related?” Arizona asked, still horrified.

“Arizona, this is **not** cancer related! I just had my checkup and it was all clear. Remember? You were there,” was Callie’s annoyed response.

“Oh, thank god,” Arizona put her hand on her chest. “I mean, cold, yucky?” She tried when she saw Callie was glaring at her. “Why didn’t you tell me before I mixed all of my saliva with yours?”

“I **tried** ,” Callie deadpanned. “But you seemed really keen on mixing that saliva. Couldn’t get a word in.”

“It’s high quality saliva,” Arizona said sheepishly and walked towards Callie. “Here, lay down, I’ll get you a glass of water.” She led Callie to the bed, and once her girlfriend was sitting down, Arizona took her shoes off for her, and tucked her in.

“I’m gonna ruin our romantic New Orleans reunion,” Callie pouted.

“You’re not gonna ruin anything,” Arizona objected. “Just seeing your face already made everything better,” she added, making her girlfriend smile weakly.

“I missed you, too,” Callie finally said. “This was an amazing reconciliation kiss, by the way. Thank you for making a sick girl’s dream come true. Again,” she teased, making Arizona chuckle.

“Anything for you,” she replied softly. “You want me to run out and get you some medicine?”

“It’s in my suitcase. Just look for a red bag inside,” Callie directed.

Arizona got up, kissed Callie’s forehead gently, and walked to her suitcase. “I think you’re a bit feverish,” she noted as she unzipped the bag.

“I know for a fact I’m feverish.” Now that Arizona took a step back and actually listened, she could hear that Callie’s voice was constantly hoarse.

“Oh, Babe, I’m sorry. Why did you come, then?” Arizona cringed just at the thought of Callie suffering.

“You know why, Dummy,” Callie stated. “I know you found the blue velvet box. Bring it as well. I wanted to give it to you over a romantic dinner but there’s a chance I won’t be able to keep it down,” Callie admitted miserably.

Arizona smiled, grabbed the medicine bag and the velvet box that she indeed wondered about just a moment ago, walked back to bed and flopped down next to Callie. It wasn’t a ring box so she wasn’t in a rush.

“Stay away,” Callie warned.

“Nope,” Arizona objected sweetly. “Thanks for the gorgeous room, by the way.” She took a lock of Callie’s hair and played with it. She missed the softness all these weeks. “You know you didn’t need to, right? The production covers all of this crap.”

“It’s fine,” Callie coughed and groaned, “it’s my father’s hotel.”

“Wait, what?” Arizona froze in confusion.

“That’s his company, Arizona. He’s the owner of the Blue Diamond Hotel chain,” Callie explained and coughed again. “So while I’m sure the production company would’ve given you a lovely room, this royal suite upgrade cost me exactly zero dollars.” She laced her fingers with Arizona’s.

“Well, thank you then. It’s beautiful, and… romantic,” she flirted. “I’m glad that you got us this sweet deal. See what I did there?” Arizona asked cheekily.

“I do, oh , witty love of mine. And I’m glad I got us this room, too, because it has two bedrooms so I can keep my germs away from you,” Callie reasoned.

“I’m not sleeping in separate beds, Calliope. I haven’t seen you in weeks,” Arizona waved her off. “Plus, I already shoved my tongue down your throat. I’ll accept my fate with grace,” she smirked.

“Why the smirking?” Callie asked in confusion.

“Because it was so worth it,” Arizona swallowed hard and got up to straddle her girlfriend.

“Arizona, nausea,” Callie said miserably, making the other woman get off of her immediately. “Which is so unacceptable because I want you so bad,” Callie whined, turning to look at the woman who was lying down next to her again.

 “Just relax,” Arizona soothed, caressing Callie’s cheek softly. She continued to push her gently to her back, and started playing with the hem of her shirt.  She spread her palm on Callie’s stomach. “How does this feel?” She inquired, eyebrows furrowed. She wanted to make Callie feel good. **Really** good.

Callie simply hummed in response.

Arizona started to draw soothing patterns on the warm skin. After a few moments of the gentle ministrations, she leaned next to Callie’s ear and spoke in a low voice. “We’re gonna talk about this velvet box later, but now I’m gonna take really good care of you.”

“Thanks,” Callie responded sleepily, touched by the sentiment. Suddenly, Arizona took Callie’s earlobe in her mouth and bit it and just like that Callie was pulled from dreamland as a guttural moan escaped her throat.

Arizona hand started to slide down, and she pushed herself up to unbutton Callie’s pants. Once the task was done, she quickly laid back next to her girlfriend, letting one hand continue its route down Callie’s body and lacing the other hand with her girlfriend’s.

“Wh… what are you doing?” Callie asked in a daze. The flight, the fever, the medicine and the physical pleasure all made her feel like she was walking on a cloud.

Arizona chuckled at her girlfriend’s adorable state just as her hand reached its destination beneath a lacey piece of fabric.

“I think you know.”

* * *

Callie woke up to find herself wrapped in the arms of her very naked girlfriend. Her head was pounding and she was grateful to see an untouched glass of water waiting for her on the night stand.

She groaned as she pushed herself up to reach for the glass.

“Hey, easy, I’ll get it for you, and your meds,” a soft voice spoke behind her. The owner of the voice kissed her shoulder, making her hum. She was gently brought back down by a hand on her arm and after another kiss to her shoulder, the bed dipped and Arizona was gone.

Callie turned around to look at her naked girlfriend going through the discarded items, looking for her meds. It had been weeks since she saw Arizona like this, and when she got to the hotel she was so exhausted, she couldn’t recall how they got to their current clothes-less situation.

“Did we…?” She inquired when Arizona walked back towards the bed, handing her a pill and the glass of water.  

Arizona couldn’t help but laugh and kiss Callie’s forehead.

“Why are you laughing at me?” Callie pouted and swallowed her pill.

“Because you’re adorable. And you’re basically looking at me, asking me what happened as if we’ve done some shameful, naughty thing,” Arizona explained teasingly.

“Well… did we?” Callie arched her eyebrow.

“Well,” Arizona started, smugly, “I do recall my fingers in your underwear.” Callie’s eyes widened at the memory while Arizona was pretending to remember. “You came and fell asleep seconds later. I just wanted some skin on skin contact so I got undressed and climbed into bed with you for some cuddles,” she finished sweetly, rubbing Callie’s arm.

“Thank god, I thought I was so high I actually forgot pleasuring you. I never want to not remember when I have sex with you,” Callie explained cutely like she was breaking down a math problem.

“The feeling is mutual,” Arizona laughed. “Move over.”

“Arizona,” Callie whined, “you’re gonna get sick.”

“Yeah, well, then I get sick,” Arizona shrugged and took her place by Callie’s side.

“But all the things you planned on doing this weekend,” Callie noted apologetically as she started playing with Arizona’s fingers that were between them on the pillow.

“I planned on doing them with you. So we’ll just have to come back at some point. We have a few more stops for this press tour, we can do stuff later,” she appeased. “Are we gonna get a suite upgrade for the rest of this tour?” She asked with a smirk.

“If that’s what my lady wants, that’s what my lady gets,” Callie offered proudly.

“The lady wants. But for now, how about some more cuddles? I need to leave in thirty minutes for some interviews and it’s a crime to miss out on cuddle time,” Arizona stated.

“C’mere,” Callie opened her arms for the other woman who turned around, attaching her back to Callie’s front.

“I missed this so much,” Arizona confessed and sighed in content.

“Me, too. So **so** much,” Callie agreed softly. Nuzzling into Arizona’s soft hair.

“I’m really sorry, Calliope,” Arizona said quietly.

“You said as much, many, **many** times,” Callie brushed off. “You don’t need to keep doing that, it’s okay. We all have baggage,” she soothed.

“I didn’t say it to your face, though,” Arizona reminded sheepishly.

“Well, you’re not exactly facing me now,” Callie teased, making Arizona chuckle and turn in her arms so they were facing each other while still in the embrace.

“I’m really sorry and I love you,” Arizona offered hoarsely.

“You are forgiven and I love you, too. More than anything, I meant it,” Callie admitted breathlessly, caressing Arizona’s cheek.

They stared at each other silently for a few moments, Arizona finally closing her eyes, enjoying Callie’s touch.

 She opened her eyes and stared at Callie intently. It was different than their comfortable silent of before and Callie could tell something was on Arizona’s mind.

“What is it, Babe? You can tell me anything,” she promised softly.

“I know,” Arizona stated without missing a beat. “I think…” she started, “no, I **know** …I’m ready to move to New York,” she finally confessed. “I’m ready for us to be around each other during week days, too. I need to make sure you’re not some weird vampire who only wears a human form on the weekends,” she joked, trying to lighten the magnitude of the moment.

“Today’s Friday, Arizona,” Callie deadpanned.

“Callie,” Arizona said vulnerably, “you know what I mean” She looked away.

“Where is this coming from?” Callie asked softly, realizing her girlfriend needed assurance at the moment and not teasery, she gently made Arizona look at her again.

“I’ve been thinking about it since Mayo,” Arizona admitted quietly.

“You have?” Callie was surprised, and hugged Arizona closer, letting her know the surprise wasn’t a negative reaction.

“I have,” Arizona confirmed.

“Is this a part of why you were so upset at the airport? You were thinking about the next step and you felt like I wasn’t because of the whole parents thing?” Callie inquired cautiously.

“Yeah,” Arizona confessed in a hardly audible voice, happy that Callie understood without her needing to explain.

“Arizona, I need you to know that’s not the case,” Callie promised genuinely. “When it comes to how **I** feel about you… I always want more with you. It’s the other people who concern me.”

“I understand. That’s why I took the time with telling the world about us,” Arizona explained and smiled softly.

“But then you did,” Callie noted, mirroring the smile.

“Yeah.”

“Hand me that velvet box, would you?” Callie asked softly. “You didn’t peek, did you?”

“No, no!” Arizona defended and turned around to grab the box. “What is it?” Her eyes widened and she sounded all child-like.

“Open it,” Callie bit her lip and Arizona did as she was told.

“A charm bracelet?” She smiled as she saw the classy looking, silver bracelet inside the box. “I never had one of those,” she admitted.

“You like it?” Callie asked in worry.

“I love it, Calliope. What’s the dove for?” Arizona inquired when she spotted the one charm that was already attached to the bracelet.

“The dove symbolizes forgiveness,” Callie explained and when she saw her girlfriend’s face fall she added “not just now. Always. I know I’ll mess up in the future, too, and I want this to be a mutual promise to always listen, and accept, but if those things are hard, and we end up hurting each other, I hope we can also forgive.”

“Master of words,” Arizona smiled, trying to cover how touched she was by the gesture, but Callie saw, and leaned in to kiss her tenderly.

“Why now, though?” Arizona wondered.

“Just ‘cause,” Callie grinned. “I got it after we finally talked. I just wanted to get you something, to have a gift for you when I finally saw you after what felt like way too long,” she admitted. “I wanted you to have something with which we can mark all the good things that are about to come. Because… I want the next step with you, too,” she stopped for a second before she decided to continue with her confession. “I want **all of** the next steps with you.”

“You do?” Arizona asked breathlessly.

“I do,” Callie promised.  “So how about when this tour is over we go see my parents to tell them that now they can pay for my living with my girlfriend?” Callie offered, smile now showing in full force.

“Callie, you don’t have to move in with me just because I’m moving to New York,” Arizona soothed, not wanting to pressure her girlfriend. This move was for her. She wanted to be close but not suffocating.

“Oh, you didn’t…” Callie started in disappointment.

“Callie…” Arizona tried once realizing her girlfriend was hurt.

“No, of course you didn’t ask me to move in with you, it’s way too soon. I’m sorry,” Callie said cheerfully, trying to mask her true feelings.

“Calliope, I kinda **did** ask you to move in with me though,” Arizona smiled softly.

“You did?” Callie asked hopefully.

“I did. That is, if you want to.”

“I’d like that very much,” Callie confirmed hoarsely and leaned in to sign the deal with a kiss.

* * *

**_One week later…_ **

“I don’t wanna take the stupid medicine,” Arizona whined.

“Arizona. If you don’t take it, you won’t be able to fall asleep and then…”

“No! **No**. No more Sleepless in Seattle jokes, Callie!” Arizona warned.

They arrived to Seattle the night before and Arizona got feverish after days of knowing it was coming. She kept referring to Callie as the outbreak monkey while Callie kept responding with “you did it to yourself.”

“Okay, but in all seriousness, Arizona, take the stupid pill and you’ll feel so much better,” Callie soothed, wiping hair from her girlfriend’s sweaty forehead.

Arizona was in bed, looking miserable and pleaded her girlfriend for mercy. Callie didn’t budge and handed Arizona the glass, receiving a mean glare in return. She stared Arizona down until her girlfriend took the pill.

“Babe, I’m just trying to take care of you, like you did for me,” Callie reminded seating herself behind Arizona and bringing Arizona’s head to her chest. She took the glass away and put it on the night stand.

“I like to listen to your heart,” Arizona confessed in a sleepy voice.

“You’re so cheesy sometimes,” Callie chuckled.

“Says the girl who bought me a charm bracelet,” she countered with a yawn.

Callie smiled but said nothing. She leaned on the headboard, bringing Arizona closer, hearing the other woman sighing in content. They sat like that for a while, Arizona listening To Callie’s heartbeat and Callie occasionally kissing the top of her head, or rubbing her stomach soothingly.

“Arizona?” Callie finally asked quietly.

“Yeah,” Arizona didn’t attempt to move, she was way too comfortable.

“Should we, hmmm… plan?”

“Plan what?” Arizona was confused, “the visit to your parents?”

“No, they can wait. But in two weeks…” Callie tried.

“We’ll have our six months anniversary,” Arizona completed the sentence and pushed back to look at her girlfriend, lacing their fingers. “Which, if memory serves correctly, is also when you can fly out of the country.”

“Yeah,” Callie smiled, “which means…”

“That it will be **almost** a year since we met again?” Arizona offered, smiling victoriously.

“Yes, but also…” Callie started, seeming a bit unsure which surprised Arizona. She scanned Callie’s face, trying to figure out what she was missing. She squinted her eyes in confusion but then it hit her.

“That it will also be two years since I met you for the first time,” Arizona bit her lip, locking eyes with Callie. Neither looked away.

They didn’t have many of these moments. The moments when they were reminded that they almost didn’t come to be. That Callie was almost lost forever. But when those moments did occur, when they recalled just how far back they actually go, how the turn of events felt like they were meant to be, they were filled with gratitude. It made them both dizzy, it was too overwhelming of a concept, and Arizona did the only thing she could – she kissed Callie deeply, not letting go.

She wasn’t afraid of Callie getting a cold again since Callie just recovered, and Callie sure didn’t complain when they molded together, trying to express what they couldn’t with words. This wasn’t as simple as their “I love you”s that became a second nature to them. This was “I almost lost you before I even knew that you were supposed to be mine.”

So they let their tongues duel instead, as tears streamed down their cheeks.

“Crap,” Callie said and wiped away some smeared eyeliner once they broke apart. “I didn’t mean to make things so heavy. I was just trying to say that we have a lot to celebrate,” she smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes.

“Yes, we do,” Arizona agreed and kissed Callie’s knuckles. She wanted to let her girlfriend know that she was right there with her.

“Wasn’t there some talk of Spain? A Bikini? A private beach?” Callie reminded teasingly.

“There was also a talk about a secluded cabin,” Arizona noted and yawned again.

“Maybe we should do both,” Callie offered, bringing the back of her hand to Arizona’s forehead.

“Maybe we should,” Arizona agreed. “When was the last time you were abroad, Calliope?”

“Four years ago, Addie and I knew I was about to be hospitalized so we wanted a last hurrah,” Callie provided, wincing.

“Where did you go?” Arizona asked sweetly, she assumed her girlfriend’s wince was due to how hot her forehead felt and she wasn’t wrong.

“We went to Japan, actually. I wanted something new and different, you know?” Arizona nodded as another yawn made itself known.  Callie chuckled but got up making Arizona pout at the loss of contact.

“Your body temperature is too high. We’re getting you out of these clothes,” Callie stated and gently pushed Arizona down so she was lying.

“Mmmkay,” Arizona mumbled. She wanted to hear about Callie’s adventures in Japan. She wanted to tell her that she would love to travel the whole world with her, but her eyes shut slowly as she let Callie unbutton her shirt.

But when Callie reached Arizona’s pants and pulled them down, she brought Arizona’s underwear down with them.

“Wha… what are you doing?” Arizona asked in a cracked voice, suddenly very alert even if tired.

Callie leaned in and swiped her finger through Arizona’s slit, learning just how welcomed she was. She kissed the area once, making her girlfriend release a guttural moan.

“I think you know.”


	16. Chapter 15

**_Three Weeks Later…_ **

“Explain to me again how we ended up spending our anniversary with **these** two?” Callie whined, burying her face in Arizona’s hair. The later was staring at Teddy and Addison who were packing a bag which now included a beach towel and a straw hat.

 _Apartment hunting does **not** require a beach towel_ , Arizona observed.

“Well,” she started, “because we’re good friends, so we bothered to finally invite Teddy for a weekend so you two can get to know each other better.”

“And so that **I** can get to know New York better,” Teddy deadpanned.

“I like this one,” Addison noted pointing at Teddy.

“You can keep her,” Arizona sighed.

“Hey! Not only are you leaving me, you’re also passing me around like some trash?” Teddy protested.

“You pass around trash?” Callie inquired, making everyone but Teddy laugh.

The irritated woman crossed her arms and turned her back to them to exhibit her protest.

“I’m sorry, Teds,” Arizona tried. “Callie, Teddy is really good with apartment hunting.”

“That’s a really specific thing to be good at,” Callie mused.

“Everyone’s a critic!” Teddy stated, exasperated.

“Okay,” Callie started and Arizona could see a hint of a mean smirk on her face, “so answer me this, how does the beach towel fit into your apartment hunting strategy?” She finished innocently.

“It fits in the way that we can go to Sheep’s Meadow to sunbath after we found you the most amazing apartment in the history of apartments?” Teddy tried and Addison snorted.

“Sheep’s Meadow?” Callie was surprised, “with this one here?” she pointed at Arizona. “How exactly is that going to work?”

“Ta da!” Teddy announced and pulled out a wig from the bag she and Addison so meticulously packed.

“Oh, come on, Teds, the red one?” Arizona groaned. “It commands more attention than my actual face.”

“Wait, you’ve actually done this before?” Callie asked in shock. “I really thought it was just this thing you see in the movies.”

“I very, **very** rarely do it,” Arizona defended. “The rest of the time I just blend in. Or say fuck it. Which is what I’m gonna do today.”

“Are you sure?” Callie and Teddy asked simultaneously.

“If you are,” Arizona only had eyes for Callie when she was giving her reply.

“Am I sure in you? Of course I am,” Callie responded immediately.

“Yuck,” Addison commented, embellishing with gagging sounds.

“I concur. Are you gonna be this way all day long?” Teddy challenged.

“Don’t worry. I don’t need Calliope to suffer the full effect of the vultures on day one,” Arizona rolled her eyes. “We’ll keep the PDA to a minimum.”

“Oh, thank god,” Addison said dramatically. “Come on, new friend,” she laced her elbow with Teddy’s. “These two can’t go a few hours without sucking each other’s faces, so you know they need to do a little pre-no-PDA ceremony.”

“And we don’t need to be here for that,” Teddy agreed, picked up the bag, and pulled Addison out, leaving the couple alone.

Callie followed them with her eyes, mouth quivering in disdain. “Again, I ask, why are they here on our anniversary?”

“I know it seems like they’re third wheeling our anniversary, or fourth wheeling, all things considered, but truly, we’re taking advantage of them. And just imagine…” Arizona closed the already minimal distance between her and Callie, “that tonight, when we’re completely alone, we get to celebrate our anniversary, knowing each other for two years, and, if we’re lucky, signing a lease on our new home.” She nuzzled her nose in Callie’s hair, inhaling her favorite scent.

“We **have** to find something today because I don’t think I can handle them for hours on end much longer,” Callie whined.

“That, and, you know, the whole finding a place to live in together part,” Arizona teased.

“Yeah, that too,” Callie seconded, leaving Arizona to stare at her contemplatively. After a few moments the expression of concentration turned into a soft smile.

“What?” Callie asked, returning the smile.

“You’re so beautiful,” Arizona stated truthfully.

“Arizona…” Callie started with a doubting smile.

“No. I mean it. You’re breathtaking and I can’t wait to see your face every single day,” she put her arms around Callie’s hips, pulling her closer and bringing their bodies in contact.

“Thanks,” Callie offered softly. “I love you so much,” she added, voice choked up at the compliments.

Arizona leaned in and captured Callie’s lips with hers in a passionate kiss that soon enough left them both breathless.

“What was that for?” Callie asked between intakes.

“Pre-no-PDA ceremony.” Arizona chuckled and leaned in again.

A surprising hammering on the door brought them apart sharply.

“You two coming already? We gave you like five whole minutes!” Teddy called from the other side of the door.

“Are you ready for this?” Arizona asked tentatively. “The potential paparazzi parts of it?”

“I guess we’ll find out.” Callie released a breath.

“Calliope…”

“Arizona, I can’t lie and say it doesn’t make me nervous, but I’ll do anything for you, you know that,” Callie promised.

“But I want you to want to do it, not just do it because of me,” Arizona admitted sadly.

“I very much want to be able to walk down the street holding your hand,” Callie soothed.

“Okay, then… shall we?” Arizona questioned, giving Callie a last chance to regret.

“Yes, Babe. Let’s go find ourselves a home.”

* * *

“Seriously, Arizona? The Dakota building?” Callie scoffed after Arizona shared her thus-far-favorite apartment.

“Don’t listen to her, Arizona,” Addison brushed off. “She’s known to be a party pooper. She even almost died once.”

“Babe, we can totally afford it!” Arizona was clearly filled with joy by the idea of living at the extremely exclusive location.

“Yeah, **Babe** , you can totes afford it,” Teddy mocked.

“Okay, kindergarten-posse. Just because we can have something doesn’t mean that we should,” Callie lectured.

“See? A party pooper.” Addison rolled her eyes.

“I’m, just saying let’s see the rest, like, you know, the responsible adults that we are,” Callie tried miserably.

“They had a fireplace, Callie!” Arizona stated, as if this should be the only factor.

“Okay but other places can have a fire…places,” Callie groaned. “And the apartments at the Dakota are so… theatrical.”

“We can make it our own, refurnish. Anything you want. Well, not **anything** ,” Arizona corrected. “No Batcave colors.”

“I just thought….” Callie sighed heavily.

“What? What is it?” Arizona inquired softly, closing the distance between them and wrapping her arms around Callie’s waist. “Tell me?”

Addison and Teddy exchanged confused looks.

“I just thought that our first apartment together will be smaller, and intimate and even a bit… simple. You know? **Our** sort of simple,” she went on with her spiel. “These apartments are so huge. If I will have to text you when I walk in just to find out in which room you are…” She shook her head. “I don’t want that. I’m not saying we need to live like beggars, or even get a two bedroom, but maybe we can start with a three bedroom, a fireplace, a big kitchen and a spacious living room?” She finished hopeful.

“So you’re saying you don’t want the parlor?” Addison whined in disappointment.

“Come on, Addison! That’s just another living room!” Callie countered, irritated.

“I’m guessing that counts out the one with the screening room on Mercer street, right?” Teddy huffed.

“Actually…” Callie started, making all eyes dart in her direction in surprise. “I won’t **entirely** object to snuggle while watching a movie together on a huge ass screen,” Callie admitted in embarrassment.

“Callie Torres, you’re such a hypocrite!” Addison called.

“Hey! Don’t call my girlfriend a hypocrite!” Arizona ordered.

“I might be willing to compromise on that screening room thing,” Callie said quietly, wincing at the reaction her little admission evoked.  She looked down in shame which Arizona found adorable.

“Hey,” Arizona offered softly, putting her finger under Callie’s chin, making her look up, “we’ll find a nice three bedroom with a fireplace and room for a moderately large TV. How does that sound?” She smiled adoringly, making Callie sigh in content.

“Thank you,” was Callie’s quiet reply and soon after Arizona’s lips met hers, telling her through softness and subtle passion that they were on the same page.

* * *

“But seriously? Bed bugs? Does this realtor know who he’s showing apartments to?” Callie whined. “Arizona is Russian royalty!”

“In make-believe land, Babe,” Arizona reminded indifferently.

“Just because you handled many rats on deck doesn’t mean you can live in an apartment that has them!”

“Also make-believe land.” She knew Callie was joking, but she loved playing along.

Teddy and Addison were dragging their feet behind them in exhaustion. Neither woman thought it would take so long to appease the couple. It wasn’t all Callie, not by a long shot. The two were perfectionists and it showed in everything they did. It showed **especially** when looking for a place to live. Considering they had the money, they didn’t see a reason to compromise.

“Are you two sure you actually wanna live together?” Teddy questioned aggressively, walking through the threshold of their ninth apartment of the day, this time at the Upper East Side, and bumping right into Arizona’s back.

“What the…” she heard Addison saying next to her and realized that the other woman crashed into Callie’s back.

When they finally looked up to see what brought upon that face-to-back encounter, they noticed the couple standing mouths agape in a large living room with windows all the way from floor to ceiling.

“Oh, wow,” Teddy gasped, “me likey.”

“Oh my god,” Arizona nearly whispered.

“Hmmm… yeah,” Callie agreed.

“Oh, Callie,” Arizona turned to look at her, “when the most eloquent person I know resolves to ‘hmm… yeah,’ what are the rest of us supposed to do?” She teased.

“Remain speechless? I guess? Look at this thing!” Callie laughed happily.

“Unfurnished,” Addison noted.

“Clay in the hands of the potter, my friend,” Callie brushed off, not even turning to look at Addison, just absorbing the space. “So much natural light!”

“Come on,” Arizona took her hand and dragged her further into the apartment.

“Three bedrooms?” Callie asked her girlfriend while being whisked away.

“That’s what the listing said,” Arizona confirmed, going up a staircase to ‘start from the top’ as she called it earlier in the day when Callie inquired about her apartment examining strategy. “And we need to check every single one of them,” she added, “for science.”

“And future sex,” Callie added with a smirk.

“Yes, Calliope, science was a euphemism, and let’s just hope… woah.” Arizona stopped dead in her tracks.

“Ouch,” Callie pouted as she, now, walked forcefully into Arizona’s back, fueled by the pulling motion.

“You two okay up there?” Teddy called from downstairs in concern.

“You gotta come see this bedroom, Teds! And it’s not even the master! You might stay here at some point you know,” Arizona teased, making Teddy run up the stairs.

“I get the first pick!” She squealed. “I’m the favorite child!”

“I’m the child who lives in town,” Addison scoffed, making Callie and Arizona laugh.

“Wow,” Teddy agreed once she got upstairs. “Spacious, amazing light, many outlets, very important!”

“If the rest of this place looks like the living room and this room…” Callie started, wrapping her arms around Arizona’s front.

“Shhh… don’t jinx it, Calliope,” Arizona chuckled.

“I’m forbidding you right now from having sex in my room,” Teddy warned the two women.

“It’s not **your** room,” Arizona pointed out.

“We’ll see about that,” Teddy mumbled under her breath and the group kept looking around, happy and impressed.

“Let the rest be like this,” Addison prayed quietly “and let us spend the tiny bit we have left of this day in the park, oh, Holy One, God of Apartments, Amen.”

“Amen,” the three other women recited together.

“Next stop, other bedroom!” Callie announced and this time Arizona was the one to get dragged.

An additional bedroom, shared bathroom and a balcony later, the four went back downstairs, extremely happy with what they saw.

“Okay, office, downstairs bathroom and master bedroom left,” Arizona braced herself. “Alright, let’s do this. Let’s actually look at the living room first.”

They spent a few minutes counting the electric sockets, thumping on the floor to make sure it didn’t creak and checking out the Central Park view visible from the window.

“We’re right on the park,” Callie noted flirtatiously. “And we’re high up enough. No one can see us, we can totally walk around naked.”

“Best friends in the room,” Teddy reminded but was completely ignored.

“A fireplace, Babe, like you wanted,” Callie gestured at the cozy, classy looking fireplace.

“It is **so** beautiful,” Arizona said dramatically as if she was on the verge of tears. “My baby,” she caressed the mantel.

“You need to get your girlfriend checked,” Teddy deadpanned. “This is not normal.”

“So when she’s in love with fireplaces she’s my girlfriend rather than your best friend?” Callie challenged.

“Yes.”

“My precious,” Arizona said, lost in another world.

“Oh, Baby, no.” Callie walked to the fireplaces, laced her hand with Arizona’s and brought her back from the haze.

“Can I have this? Pretty please?” Arizona all but begged.

“I have a good feeling about this,” Callie nodded and smiled, bringing a hand to Arizona’s hip, with a hint of a touch beneath her shirt. It sent a shiver down Arizona’s spine and made her close her eyes and sigh in content.

“Where do you guys want to go to next?” Teddy inquired genuinely, oblivious to the exchange.

“Bedroom,” the couple said in sync, making Addison snort.

“My god, hormonal teenagers,” she declared but was ignored as well. Callie and Arizona didn’t wait to any approval before they located the entrance to the master bedroom and darted in.

“I think I’m going to cry,” Callie moaned.

“Is it bad that I don’t even care about the rest anymore?” Arizona probed, looking at the beautiful room in awe. “Seriously, Calliope,” she turned to look at her girlfriend, “everything is perfect. If the rest of the rooms are awful, which I doubt all things considered, I’ll buy you new ones.”

“You’ll buy her new rooms?” Teddy questioned doubtfully.  

“You can’t do that,” Addison argued, “can she?” She asked Teddy who just sighed as if to say “we are dealing with ridiculous children.”

“Just imagine,” Arizona continued excitedly, entering further into the room. “Our bed will be right here,” she pointed and Callie nodded in approval.

“Queen size?” she inquired.

“In **this** room?” Arizona scoffed. “I think at **least** a king size.”

“At least?” Teddy seemed puzzled. “Is there anything bigger than king?”

“Well, I don’t care, I’ll get it custom-made.” Arizona shrugged.

“Well that’s just excessive,” Addison pointed.

“Shut up,” Arizona commanded. “And we can have a night stand each, of course. You can read a book and I can read your drafts.” She smiled sweetly at Callie, missing their two friends rolling their eyes. “We can order a wall to wall closet for the things we want to have immediate access to. The rest can be in the closet room.”

“Rich people,” Addison sighed.

“ **You** are rich people,” Callie reminded unapologetically.

“And I don’t have a custom-made bed,” Addison countered.

“And we can put a couch right here,” Arizona ignored the bickering and gestured in front of the top to bottom windows were she would place a couch. “Or better yet,” Arizona smirked, “both a couch and a wall to wall carpet. You can lay on either and let me paint you like I always wanted. Preferably in the nude,” she concluded with a low voice.

“Best friends **still** in the room,” Addison reminded.

“What do you think?” Arizona asked hopefully, looking at her girlfriend and at her girlfriend alone. There was no one else in the world. She bit her lip waiting for the verdict.

Callie came towards her, joining her by the window, looking over Central Park. She laced her hand with Arizona’s as they both faced the window. “I think I love everything you just said,” she confirmed softly and turned to look at her girlfriend.

“So you’re saying…?” Arizona held her breath, hoping that she can telepathically will her girlfriend to say yes.

“I’m saying, yes.” Callie smiled, pretty sure she read Arizona’s mind.

Arizona squealed and jumped into Callie’s arms.

“Assuming the last couple of rooms are fine!” Callie chuckled. “I don’t want you to have to buy me new one…” but she never finished her joke because Arizona’s mouth was on hers, ignoring for the umpteenth time the presence of their best friends.

When Arizona’s tongue found hers and Addison groaned, Callie thought about stopping, but instead she bit Arizona’s bottom lip.

“Come on!” Teddy whined. “We said we were going to the park! We never said anything about a free peep show!”

“Let them watch,” Arizona smirked once they broke off the kiss and leaned their foreheads together.

Callie laughed wholeheartedly at her girlfriend’s indifference.

“What?” Arizona smiled softly. “I’m not gonna let them ruin our celebrating,” she explained and shrugged.

Callie kissed her forehead, then her nose, and lastly met her lips again for a short but deep kiss.

“We put the terrible in stare-able,” she finally decided.


	17. Chapter 16

**_One Month later…_ **

They were sitting on a plane to Miami and Callie was fidgeting. It didn’t help matters that since they were flying first class and boarded first, every passenger to board the plane stopped and gasped as they saw the couple on the way to their own seats.

Callie had a month to get used to the attention since their first public outing to Central Park after they found what was now their soon to be inhabited dream apartment. Unfortunately, a month later she still found the whole gasping ordeal unnerving.

Arizona was sympathetic, but in all honesty, there wasn’t much she could do. This was part of the package deal which was Arizona’s life and they both knew they couldn’t hide forever, didn’t **want** to hide forever. Seven months of a being together, two years of knowing each other, and the purchase of an apartment was more than enough to put the “serious” seal of approval on their relationship. Hiding in apartments was **not** what couples who saw themselves spending the rest of their lives together did. Even if that “rest of their lives” concept was still a thought each kept to her own.

So here they were, taking another serious step by flying out to stay with Callie’s family for a few days.  The whole stressful event was heightened by all the additional attention. The press loved them, loved Callie.

 _What’s not to love?_ Arizona thought. _We’re two hot women and my girlfriend is the most beautiful person on the face of the planet,_ she smiled goofily in her seat. Sadly, that love meant that people were waiting to take their photo wherever they went.

“God do they actually think they’re being stealthy when their camera is flashing?” Callie whined, breaking Arizona out of her reverie.  

“At least they’re not gawking. It gets really bad when food is served. It’s like ‘oh, and to you right is the common celebrity, it eats! Behold!’” Arizona joked.

“Don’t you hate that?” Callie asked softly, she wasn’t complaining, she was worried about her girlfriend who spent years living this way.

“It’s part of the job, Calliope.” Arizona shrugged. “It’s a byproduct of doing something I really love.”

“And making millions of dollars,” Callie mentioned.

“Yeah, that, too.”

“This is why you weren’t happy when we met, though, isn’t it?”

“It was part of it. I really am happy now, though.” Arizona kissed her cheek softly. “Apparently having an amazing girlfriend makes all other aspects bearable, too,” she added lovingly.

“Why don’t you just get a plane?” Callie proposed, curiously.

Arizona looked at her with wide eyes.

“I can’t possibly get a plane, can I?” Arizona asked, mostly herself.

“Well why not?”

“A plane is not a joke, Calliope,” Arizona replied softly. There weren’t many moments in which the fact that Callie came from money and Arizona came by it only later in life, showed, but they still existed. “Just like you said, just because we can have something doesn’t mean we should,” Arizona reminded sweetly, making Callie nod in agreement.

“Well, maybe if this vacation goes well, Daddy will let us use his plane and we can travel privately wherever we want!” Callie offered in excitement, thinking that she was making a sweet gesture.

She was, but it didn’t stop Arizona from chuckling and saying “I sometimes forget that you’re a trust fund baby.” She was trying to be playful, but when she saw the hurt on Callie’s face she regretted it right away.

“Calliope, I didn’t mean it like that,” she offered apologetically.

“And how exactly did you mean it?” Callie fired at her, causing some people to stare at them.

“Hey,” Arizona started and laced their fingers, “I just meant that you’re such a humble person and that I really love that about you,” she explained honestly. “No need to feed the beasts.” She gestured around them.

“It wouldn’t have been a problem if you just owned a fucking plane,” Callie stated harshly, but the smile that tugged at the corner of her lips let Arizona know that she was at least partially forgiven. Still, there was no way she was buying a plane.

* * *

“I’m just saying that there are certain, important factors that you’re not taking into consideration,” Callie argued as they sat in the car that took them to the Torres’ mansion.

“Like what?”

“Like the high mile club,” Callie deadpanned.

“So you’re telling me I should get a plane so we could have what? Uninterrupted bathroom sex?” Arizona scoffed.

“Of course not!” Callie defended. “I’m saying you should get a plane so we could have uninterrupted fancy leather couch sex,” she concluded seriously.

“Hmm, I wanna argue with you, but I really don’t know how,” Arizona admitted, getting the visual of the proposed activity on the proposed couch.

“This really never occurred to you before?” Callie questioned in genuine interest. “I don’t mean the sex,” she quickly added when she saw the smirk on Arizona’s face. “I mean owning a plane. Okay… pajamas, for example.”

“What about them?” Arizona was confused.

“Don’t you want to **always** travel in pajamas?” Callie’s eyes lit up in excitement.

“I might want to, but I can’t.”

“That’s exactly my point!” Callie argued.

“I’m not getting a plane, Calliope,” Arizona said with finality. “I’d rather save that ridiculous amount of money for a wedding and a big house and kids, and a barn at the back with ponies and chickens!” She was starting to get annoyed.

“Fine! Be that way with your future planning adorableness!” Callie huffed, not letting her happiness at Arizona’s ramble show. It was quite the admission. “Manipulating Daddy into letting us use his it is.”

“Calliope, your father’s plane is in Miami, we’re gonna be in New York,” Arizona reminded with a sigh. “How is this gonna work exactly? The plane is just gonna come and, what, pick us up?”

“Yep.”

“Callie…” Arizona warned as the car turned into a curve.

“We’re almost there. Now remember what we discussed?” Callie asked in concern.

“Yes. Don’t be overwhelmed by the huge ass house,” Arizona cited.

“It’s a mansion, Arizona. Don’t be overwhelmed by the huge ass mansion. I really don’t want you to look at me differently after this visit,” Callie confessed worriedly.

“Callie, it’s a house. I’m disgustingly rich, how overwhelmed do you think a house can… holy shit!”

“Aaand…There it is,” Callie sighed.

“It’s a castle!” Arizona’s eyes widened in astonishment.

“It’s a mansion.” Callie shrugged.

“A castle-y mansion!” Arizona argued. “How did you not spend your childhood getting lost in there?”

“Arizona…” Callie pleaded, making Arizona look at her and see the fear on her face.

“Hey, hey,” Arizona soothed and laced their hands. “I love you. You’re the girl who lived in an apartment, and wouldn’t let me go crazy when we got ours, remember? I told you, you’re the most humble person I know. You really are,” Arizona promised.

“You really mean it?”

“Yeah. I mean, maybe you can buy me a plane?” Arizona tried to break the tension and the heartily laugh she got from her girlfriend told her that she succeeded.

 “ **Now** the girl wants a plane!” Callie threw her hands in the air in exasperation.

“What can I say? My girlfriend’s loaded.”

* * *

Lucia’s decision of putting them in separate rooms under the guise that ‘there’s enough space to go around’ held for a whole of two seconds before Callie threatened to go right back to New York.

“You wouldn’t have actually done that, would you?” Arizona asked in concern as they followed the housekeeper who carried their bags up the stairs.

“I so would’ve, Arizona,” Callie replied seriously. “You’re the most important person in my life. They can’t be so hot and cold about this. If they invited us over, as a couple, that’s how they’re gonna have to treat us,” Callie added in irritation, “or we can just turn back on our heels. It’s not like we don’t have stuff to do. We need to start moving us, and mostly you, in.”

“Which is something we agreed to do once we tell all the parents,” Arizona reminded cautiously.

“Right, yours already know and if this family will keep it together for longer than five minutes, mine will know soon, too,” Callie stated bitterly.

“Calliope…” Arizona tried softly, catching up with Callie and lacing their fingers.

“I know, I’m sorry. Positive attitude. I guess I’m just on edge,” Callie admitted miserably. “Thank you so much for doing this.”

“Doing what?” Arizona chuckled, “spending a few days in a huge mansion by the beach with my hot girlfriend?”

“You know what I mean.” She appreciated Arizona was trying to remove some of the weight from the situation, but she also wanted Arizona to know this was important to her.

“I know, I do,” Arizona put a gentle hand on Callie’s arm. “Whatever happens today, you and I are going to be okay. The fact we were even invited is a good sign. And the fact that they gave in with the whole room situation is another.”

“You’re right,” Callie agreed as they reached her room and nodded their thanks to the housekeeper. “And my mom even looked at us directly when she spoke to us. No eyes’ averting! Maybe there’s hope?” Callie offered optimistically once they were alone.

“Maybe there is.” Arizona nodded, letting her dimples show. “But either way, I’m honored to be here.”

“You’re the first girlfriend I ever brought home,” Callie admitted, mirroring Arizona’s smile.

“I kinda knew that, but didn’t want to bring it up,” Arizona admitted sheepishly.

“I suppose it does make sense.” Callie laughed. “What with the homophobia.”

“And your late blooming.”

“And the cancer,” Callie finished matter-of-factly.

“Show me your room?”

“I feel like a highschooler. Come on. But no funny business!” She warned. “We need to be down for dinner in fifteen minutes.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Arizona deflected innocently. “But if I **did** know, I would’ve said that fifteen minutes is more than enough time.”

“Showoff,” Callie scoffed.

“Skilled,” Arizona corrected.

* * *

“So, Arizona, I guess there’s no point in asking what you do for a living?” Carlos joked, making Aria snort.

“No, I guess there isn’t.” Arizona smiled politely.

“But are you making enough money in this artistic profession of yours? Calliope is used to a certain lifestyle,” Lucia stated sternly.

“Mom!” Callie yelled and Aria burst into laughter.

“Welcome to the family, Arizona,” she said teasingly, “current cross examination has nothing to do with your gender,” she promised.

“I think I’m pretty capable of giving Callie **everything** she might want or need.” Arizona smiled widely but Lucia didn’t miss the implication of Arizona’s statement, or all of its meaning. Callie, however, smirked. Her girlfriend was holding on without wavering. They exchanged looks and Arizona nodded at her in confirmation.

“As a matter of fact,” Callie started, “Arizona and I just bought our very first apartment and I had to stop her from getting a more expensive one,” Callie joked, using her reply as a way to deliver the news to her parents.

Her parents looked at her in shock and while she really wanted the visit to go smoothly, she couldn’t help but liking the fact she might agitate them a bit. Aria, on her end, looked entirely pleased.

“I’m totally coming and staying with you in the Big Apple,” she announced, “and you,” she turned to Arizona, “better get me into some really exclusive parties.”

“I’ll see what I can do,” Arizona promised happily, glad that at least one of the Three Torres’ seemed to be on her side.

“And it doesn’t bother you that Calliope doesn’t have a real day job and will be home, **your** home, all day?” Lucia pressed on.

“Mom, what is this?” Callie raised her voice.

“Lucia…” Carlos tried to sooth.

“What, Carlos, what?” Lucia turned to him angrily. “We both think the same thing, why am I the only one who’s saying this?”

“Because we talked about this and decided to at least try,” Carlos reminded gently.

“Why is it that you have to try so hard?” Callie argued.

“Hmm…” Arizona tried to intervene, connecting her hand with Callie’s over the table, “Callie **does** have a real day job. Her day job is being a brilliant writer.”

Callie smiled at her softly, but Lucia kept eying her suspiciously.

“But why would you take it upon yourself?” She asked, narrowing her eyes. “A cancer survivor, whose hobby you’re basically going to support.”

“Mom!” Callie and Aria called together.

“What? I’m just trying to understand her angle,” Lucia defended.

“Don’t call her ‘Her’!” Callie warned.

“I’m not ‘taking it upon myself.’” Arizona was quick to clarify before the argument could get even more heated. “You’re making it sound like a burden and as much as I’m hoping to earn your respect,” she let her eyes travel between Carlos and Lucia, “I can’t let you talk about Callie like that. I’m with her because I love her, because my life gotten so much better since we’ve met. And just so you know,” she locked eyes with Lucia, “she’s **ridiculously** talented and it wouldn’t hurt for you to read some of her work,” she finished, a challenging tone embellishing her voice.

Everyone looked at her in shock. Callie, on her part was trying to figure out if she was more touched or more turned on.

Something softened in Lucia’s eyes but she was yet to say anything else.

“This one’s a keeper,” Aria suddenly declared. “Way better that the awful She-Monster. Be good to her, Callie.” Aria warned.

“The-She Monster?” Arizona asked in confusion. As far as she was concerned her head to head with Lucia Torres was finished, at least for the time being.

“Did I not tell you about Erica?” Callie asked sheepishly. “My good old ex who broke up with me when she found out about the cancer?”

Arizona stared at her in shock, then narrowed her eyes, recalling a certain conversation from not too long ago.

“How come you never mentioned something like that?” She challenged subtly, so only Callie would be able to tell.

“Maybe because you’re so different that I never wanted to taint the mood?” Callie offered innocently. “I mean ex talk isn’t fun as it is, but this specific one? I really try not to think about. Ever,” Callie added genuinely and Arizona pursed her lips.

“No one promises **Arizona** will be by your side if your cancer ever comes back,” Lucia announced.

“Arizona was **literally** by my side when I was dying. Which is more than I can say for you!” Callie fired at her mom.  She was fuming and she wasn’t going to let Arizona get any more shade. Especially in such a hypocritical way.

“Calliope,” Carlos warned.

“No, Dad, no. I didn’t even want to do this, but it was important to Arizona to meet you because it’s the respectful thing as far as she was concerned,” Callie’s voice built up in volume, “and she also wanted us to wait with the actual move in until we told all the parents. She’s done nothing but loving me in a way I’ve never been loved before, support and encourage me since we’ve met and I thought you realized all of that and that’s why we’re here. But god, Mom.” Callie turned to Lucia, “I know you’re not exactly a fan of this whole gay thing, but could you, maybe, stop encouraging my girlfriend to break up with me? I mean, why did you even call us here?”

No one said anything for a few moments and the air was full of tension. Lucia on her part seemed contemplative which confused Callie and made her even wearier.

“You’re right,” Lucia finally admitted quietly and sighed, making Callie’s, Arizona’s and Aria’s eyes widen in shock.  “Calliope,” Lucia started and shook her head, “I’m torn here. Part of me thinks no one will ever be good enough for my little girl, another part is… well, honestly? I’m projecting my guilt on you and Arizona,” she confessed in defeat.

Callie’s mouth fell open. She never expected this type of honesty from her mother. Her parents were not the kind of people who admitted to have been wrong easily. Carlos took his wife’s hand in an effort to provide her with some comfort. He nodded encouragingly and Callie knew it meant her mother was talking on both their behalves.

“There’s this voice in my head that keeps telling me that no matter what your kid has done, even if you disagree on something really fundamental… when a kid is sick her parents need to be by her side. I have failed you, Calliope,” Lucia choked on her words.

“We both did,” Carlos admitted in pain, “and that’s a sin all on its own, towards you,” he breathed out and Callie could feel her eyes fill with tears.

“You could’ve died and we weren’t there,” Lucia started crying. It was very clear that she couldn’t stand saying much more for the time being.

“Calliope,” Carlos took Callie’s hands and looked down in shame as well before he looked up again. “Just like parents must be by their kid’s side when she’s sick, they also must not turn their backs on her no matter what. We should’ve been there for you no matter what.”

Their eyes remained locked for a few moments, neither could look away though both wanted to. Lucia was still crying quietly, averting her gaze from them.

“Yikes,” Aria broken the silence. “Things got real awkward here real fast.”

“Aria!” Lucia scolded.

“What? At least I finally made you look back in our direction! You use all these words but you won’t even look at Callie!” Aria yelled.

All eyes turned to her. Callie knew Aria always defended her, but her sister was usually there to be the comic relief, to supply the occasional sarcastic comeback. This was Aria standing up for her in the most direct way possible, challenging their mother.

Lucia said nothing. She knew Aria was right. She knew she failed again.

“We are not perfect, Calliope,” Carlos tried.  “We’re far from it, and simple confession at church won’t make this better. Not in the eyes of God and… more importantly, not in your eyes,” he admitted, surprising Callie with her place in the hierarchy of importance.

“All we can do is try,” he continued, nearly begging, “and we hope that with time… we don’t expect forgiveness, but maybe we can start something new?”

Callie crossed her arms on her chest and eyed both her parents with narrowed eyes.

“Well, for starters, you can give me your plane.”

“Calliope!” Arizona scolded.

“Done,” Carlos said without hesitation.

“What?” Aria asked in shock then turned to Callie. “Well played, Sis.”

“Well, I didn’t actually mean the whole plane,” Callie explained sheepishly. “I’d just like to use it every now and then? Maybe even… use it to visit more often?” She added hopeful, extending her own olive branch.

“We’d really love that,” Carlos smiled in relief, “wouldn’t we, Lucia?”

“Yes, yes we would,” his wife was quick to back him up. “We’d love to see both of you,” she gestured toward Arizona.

“Would you guys mind if we excuse ourselves?” Callie requested softly. “I’m not trying to be rude but this was really exhausting. I just want to do some thinking.”

“Of course, Mija,” Carlos granted. “You two go rest. Take as long as you need. We have a few days left.”

“Jeez, Cal, you’re getting away with everything today,” Aria scoffed. “Next time I need something I’ll remember to get cancerous and gay,” she concluded nonchalantly.

“Aria!” Carlos and Lucia scolded in sync, but Callie burst out laughing, bringing Arizona down with her.

“It’s okay,” Callie assured as she stood up and took Arizona’s hand. “Dark humor is how I always dealt with things. And this one learned quickly.” She pointed at the smiling Arizona who nodded in confirmation.

“Arizona?” Lucia asked softly, standing up now, too. “Do you think we can start over tomorrow?” She nearly pleaded. “I’d really like to get to know you better.”

“I’d like that very much,” Arizona replied kindly.

“I can’t promise you I won’t disappoint you again,” she looked at Callie as Carlos stood up and put a hand on her back, “but I’m going to try, we both are,” she promised.

Callie nodded and pulled Arizona upstairs before things got too awkward for her liking again.

“Is Aria going to be okay down there all on her own?” Arizona questioned and shut the door behind them. She wanted to bring Erica up, but making sure Callie was okay had to come first.

“She’s a big girl. She has handled them for years,” Callie brushed off. “And that was when they were fanatical pricks. This version of them… might actually be too confusing for her to handle,” Callie realized suddenly, making Arizona snort.

They both calmed down and locked eyes for a moment, Callie was sitting on her bed and Arizona was leaning on the door. A few more moments passed by before Arizona finally cautiously approached the bed.

“You finally got it, the apology you never did before,” she noted quietly.  “I know it means something to you. It changes things in a big way. Doesn’t it?”

“It’s too much to deal with right now,” Callie admitted in exhaustion.  “Help me forget for tonight?”

Arizona saw the real need in Callie’s eyes. A need she recognized right away and she decided that their pending discussion could wait just a while longer.

“With pleasure,” she replied decisively.

“I see what you did there,” Callie smiled, and the next thing she knew Arizona made sure everything else was forgotten.

* * *

“Having sex with you in my parents’ house makes me feel like a rebel,” Callie said breathlessly after she rolled off of Arizona.

“You’re very welcome to rebel more often,” Arizona chuckled while trying to catch her own breath, too.

“This is nice,” Callie admitted tenderly. “Me. You. In my childhood room near the beach. I like it.”

“Dinner wasn’t so bad, either,” Arizona observed. “Two more of those and we might have zero drama and tons of genuine interest,” she smiled.

“Yeah, yeah we might,” Callie returned the smile. She seemed contemplative for a few more moments before she added, “I’m sorry I haven’t told you about Erica before.”

“So you admit it was intentional?” Arizona asked, an edge of anger evident in her voice. A sad nod was the only response Callie gave her.

“I know there’s a lot going on but can I say something?” Arizona inquired hesitantly.

“You can tell me anything,” Callie replied softly.

“See, that’s the thing. You say that now, but I was honestly hurt you never mentioned Erica because I told you about Joanne,” Arizona admitted with a sad half smile. “And more than that. Not that long ago you told me you’d never want me around you when you were sick, but you are sad Erica wasn’t?” Now her voice nearly cracked. “Would you want **her** by your side instead?” She added in hurt.

“No. **No**. Arizona, how could you even ask me that?” Callie said hurriedly. “Don’t you see?  “I didn’t love her enough to **not** want her by my side,” she tried to explain and realized she was failing. She sighed. “Look, I didn’t love her enough to push her away. In retrospect, I didn’t mind being selfish with her because I just wanted someone by my side. I never wanna be that selfish with you,” Callie admitted. “I’d never want you to go through witnessing that just so I wouldn’t feel lonely.”

When Arizona didn’t say anything for a few moments and simply stared at her Callie thought that she did a good job in explaining herself, except then Arizona yelled “You’re such a hypocrite, Callie!” Callie gaped at her, not sure what to say. “You won’t hear about me being by your side if you ever get sick again but you’re upset with Erica for **not** being by your side when you acknowledge that you didn’t care all that much about her!”

“In **retrospect**!” Callie corrected. “I acknowledge in retrospect and it’s only because I have you to even be able to compare.” Callie huffed, exasperated.

“Callie…” Arizona tried to argue.

“What, Arizona, what? Back then I thought I loved her. And yes, I’m telling you I never want you to go through this, to witness this, but it doesn’t mean it didn’t break my heart when someone I thought I loved back then left me when I needed them the most,” Callie’s eyes started stinging and Arizona finally understood. Just because Callie wanted to be strong and selfless all the time didn’t mean that she didn’t want to be weak and selfish, too.  Arizona didn’t have a chance to respond before Callie added. “I’m not perfect, Arizona. You put me on this pedestal, I can see it in everything you do, but I’m human. I make mistakes, too. And I come with my baggage, too.”

“Hey, shhh, I know, I know,” Arizona soothed and wrapped her arm around Callie’s center. “I get it. I promise, and that’s okay. I guess… I guess I just figured you had the perfect opportunity to bring it up when we talked about the subject a while ago. And since I told you about Joanne…”

“Yeah and that took a while and followed a nasty fight,” Callie cut her off. “Erica isn’t worth fighting over,” Callie fired and felt sorry right away upon seeing the wince on Arizona’s face. “I’m sorry, Arizona. It’s just humiliating.”

“So was Joanne,” Arizona reminded.

“I know but I’m not joking when I’m saying she isn’t worth a fight. Joanne did a real number on you. Erica just deserted me when I really needed someone,” Callie explained miserably.

“Callie, Joanne wasn’t worth a fight. **You** were,” Arizona clarified sincerely. Then she saw the confused, hurt look on Callie’s face. “What I’m trying to say is that she wasn’t the cause for the fight. Me freaking out over losing you was. Do I make sense?”

“I think so,” Callie replied unconvinced.

“I’m saying that we weren’t fighting over her. We were fighting… well, **I** was fighting with myself. Because you are so important. Joanne was nothing compared to you. I survived what she did to me. I don’t think I could survive something like that happening to us,” Arizona admitted quietly.

“Well, when you put it like that,” Callie smiled, lacing her fingers with the one’s on her stomach.

“But you get it, truly?”

“I get it. Truly,” Callie promised.

“So can you tell me about Erica?” Arizona inquired softly. She wanted to know, for both curiosity and feeling close to Callie’s sake, but she didn’t want to push too much. She wanted Callie to **want** to tell her.

“Erica was…” Callie started, granting Arizona her wish with hesitation, “many things. At the end she was a disappointment who left a bitter taste in my mouth,” Callie explained. “Nothing about it was meant to sound sexual!” She was quick to add when she saw the smirk on Arizona’s face.

“Were you two serious?” Arizona prompt, feeling way too self conscious for her own liking.

“You can say that, I guess,” Callie brushed off.

“You guess?”

“She was my first serious girlfriend who wasn’t just a fling or a one night stand,” Callie admitted. “We were together for two years.”

“So you **were** pretty serious,” Arizona concluded.

“I don’t know, Arizona. How serious is someone who leaves you when you find out you’re sick?” Callie questioned bitterly. “I know we didn’t exactly made vows to one another but that doesn’t mean you up and leave your girlfriend of two years when she needs you the most.”

“No, it doesn’t,” Arizona agreed. “Though it’s really hard to judge.”

“Is it? She pulled a total Angels in America on me,” Callie scoffed. “Didn’t even wait for me to start treatments and see where I was headed. Just up and left so **she** didn’t have to deal with it.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Arizona admitted, feeling guilty for pushing her girlfriend to talk about the subject but also knowing that in order to give their intimacy room to grow they had to have these kind of talks.

“There’s not much **to** say,” Callie shrugged. “Plus…”

“Plus what?” Arizona caressed her arm, encouraging her to finish the thought.

“How can I call what I had with Erica serious now that I have found you?” Callie’s voice was hoarse from emotions brewing under the surface.

“ **I** found **you** ,” Arizona corrected, swallowing hard.

“You chose to get involved with me even though you knew I could always get sick again,” Callie reminded.

“I didn’t have a choice. I’m in love with you,” Arizona stated matter-of-factly.

“You did have a choice. There’s always a choice,” Callie noted sadly. “You just chose better than Erica. Because that’s the kind of person that you are. Seven months with you…” she bit her lip, “I never felt this way about anyone. Men nor women,” she confessed, kissing the forehead of the woman in front of her.

“Wait,” Arizona said in sudden realization and sat up in bed. “Erica was with you until your diagnosis. So I’m only your second girlfriend?” The question made Callie groan.

“Yes. Does it matter?” She challenged.

“I don’t know, Callie. Does it?” Arizona voiced her worry.

“I asked you first,” Callie smirked.

“Hmmm…”

“Arizona, did I ever, ever since you’ve met me, make you feel like this wasn’t serious? Like it wasn’t really important?”

“The more important something is the more scared you are of losing it,” Arizona pointed out sadly. “When something feels really special you’re sometimes scared of letting it slip out of your grasp.”

“Well, you are not losing me,” Callie announced sternly, “not if it’s up to me.”

“Same here,” Arizona promised, lacing their fingers and watching their attached hands. “Thanks for telling me about Erica.”

“It’s my pleasure.” Callie nodded genuinely. “We met at school, by the way. Addison always hated her. So did Aria. Both of them liked you from the get-to,” Callie pointed out.

“I guess that’s true.” Arizona pondered. “Though, I do suspect Aria’s motives for liking me.”

“I suspect your suspicion is justified.” Callie chuckled and they locked eyes and burst into laughter together.

“Hey, can I ask you something, too?” Callie tried after a few moments of silence following their fit.

“Anything, Calliope.” Arizona squeezed her hand.

“Do you really not care I don’t have a day job in the classical sense?” Callie bit her lip.

Arizona scanned her face carefully. “Why would I care?”

“Because it might not work out and then what?”

“We’ll cross that bridge when we get there.” She squeezed her hand again.

“Arizona…”

“What, Callie? I’m an actress. Do you know how many times in the past I had to tell myself it might not work out?” She admitted. “But I needed people to believe in me and be patient with me and give me a chance to prove myself over time. Every artist needs that and I’m more than willing to give that to you. To be the one who believes in you and is patient with you.”

“Thanks,” Callie provided quietly. She was quite speechless, but she realized that Arizona was correct. Callie was in a very similar position to where Arizona herself was years back. Callie might’ve been a few steps behind, but Arizona knew she was re-inventing herself and was willing to give her a safe, nurturing space to do that.

“I love you,” she finally added and looked into Arizona’s eyes in a way she hoped conveyed everything she felt. “Sometimes it’s so consuming I don’t quite know how to deal with it. You’re like no one else in this world. I’m so lucky that you’re mine.”

She saw that her words brought Arizona to near tears.

 _That’s kind of ironic after the speech I just got a moment ago_ , Callie thought regarding Arizona’s tears. She leaned in to kiss Arizona so passionately, as if to physically confirm what she just said. When they separated they were completely breathless and Arizona looked at her through clouded eyes.

“I sometimes think I would’ve kissed you the day I met you if you actually asked me too,” she confessed quietly.

“You’re crazy, you know that?” Callie smiled.

“No. **You** are,” Arizona insisted. “I liked you a lot that day. You were bold and brave and funny, and beautiful. I know you think you were these things just because you were on borrowed time, but it’s not true. I’ve known you for a long time now, Calliope. You **are** bold and brave and beautiful. **All** the time.”

It was Callie’s turn to get teary eyed.

“You and I are gonna get married one day, you know that, right?” She almost whispered.

“Oh, you better marry me.” Arizona smirked. “I’m very marry-able,” she joked but she thought her heart might burst out at Callie’s declaration of wanting a forever with her.

“That you are,” Callie agreed softly, seeing beyond Arizona’s attempt at comedy.

“Hey, I have a premiere next month. Wanna come with me?” Arizona asked suddenly, shifting away from the intense moment. She didn’t mind it, but she planned on asking Callie for a few days and other things kept pre-occupying her mind.  Somehow, their talk about a future together reminded her of the event.

“This better not be your proposal,” Callie warned.

“It is **a** proposal.”

“Will Ellen be there?”

“Yep.”

“Then I’m in.” Callie shrugged.

“And if she wasn’t?” The other woman challenged.

“Arizona Robbins, I’ll never say no to the chance of seeing you in a fancy dress, preferably somewhat showy, but not too much. Some things are for my eyes only,” Callie declared cheekily. “And you better remember that!”

“Deal.”

***

 **A/N:**  my beta for this story (donteatblue) and I discussed quite at length the whole asking for forgiveness thing and how some religious people do it whether they’ll be forgiven or not because they have to. I’d like to think that Callie’s parents haven’t done that until this very chapter because they knew it won’t mean much to Callie unless they meant it and in a way them **not** asking for forgiveness meant that she mattered to them more than their religion. They waited for it to mean something. Just a little thing that came up while betaing.


	18. Chapter 17

**_Two Weeks Later…_ **

Between flying to Los Angeles, packing Arizona’s entire life, shipping it all to their new home in New York and shopping for some furniture, the whole moving process took them more than a week. But as Callie put down the very last of the boxes, she smiled victoriously at the woman who was now walking towards her.

“Last one?” Arizona asked, wrapping her arms around Callie’s waist.

“Yes Ma’am,” Callie confirmed with a dazzling smile.

“Should we unpack at all or should we go right into the christening of every single room in this place?” Arizona flirted, leaning in to bite Callie’s neck. She smirked as she felt the other woman shiver.

“I think…” Callie whimpered as Arizona bit her again. “I… I think that for good energy’s sake…” she gulped, “I mean, we don’t know, holy fuck,” she blurted when Arizona put a hand under her shirt to cup her breast. “We don’t know who lived here before. Maybe we need to do an exorcism,” she finally managed to say, taking a deep breath.

“Yes. A sex exorcism,” Arizona agreed, “a sexorcism.” She took Callie’s shirt off without waiting for permission.

“Because otherwise it might be dangerous,” Callie added while being pushed towards the still empty bedroom. “Arizona,” she chuckled, “our bed isn’t even here yet.”

“I don’t care. Since it doesn’t matter either way where we gonna do it, I’m still gonna treat my girlfriend like a lady and take her to the bedroom,” Arizona explained as she gently pushed Callie down to lay on the wall to wall carpet.

“Is this really what you want to do for the rest of the day?” Callie joked happily, welcoming the soft body which was now straddling hers.

“There are demons all over this house, Calliope,” Arizona reminded seriously. “And I think it’s our responsibility, nay, duty to get rid of them all.”

* * *

They spent the rest of the day going from room to room and exorcising. Eventually they found a blanket and made a makeshift bed in front of the fireplace which wasn’t even lit. That’s where they spent their first night.

“It’s kind of romantic,” Arizona admitted the following morning. “Sleeping together on the floor like this? Spending a first night at our new apartment when we don’t even have all the furniture? It’s all so… normal. So rustic,” she added happily.

“You don’t seem too bothered,” Callie noted playfully.

“Are you kidding? I love that I get to be like this with you.” She leaned in to kiss Callie tenderly, tangling their already tangled legs even more.

“I do, too. But really, though, when is the bed gonna be here?” Callie inquired and groaned. “I’m not sure my back would be too happy with this being a permanent thing.”

“Two hours, I think?” Arizona tried to recall. “Just enough time for us to squeeze in a quick shower,” she winked.

“I think we need to do at least **some** unpacking. At least clear a way to the bedroom,” Callie pointed out sheepishly.

“And maybe move the pizza boxes off the floor,” Arizona contemplated. “Just because we act like a couple of hobos doesn’t mean bed guy needs to know that,” she finally decided.

“You mean he doesn’t need to know that the famous Arizona Robbins is a hobo?” Callie teased and pinched Arizona’s hip.

“Calliope, don’t you dare!” Arizona warned, already laughing uncontrollably as Callie kept tickling her.

Ever since they’ve entered the physical phase of their relationship and Callie found out her girlfriend was ticklish, Callie couldn’t help herself from taking advantage on occasion. The always in-control-Arizona completely gave in because there was really no way to fight it and Callie loved that it gave them this juvenile feeling. There was something naive and simple about it even at times when things around them were complicated. Arizona shared the sentiment which is why, Callie suspected, she played along with minimal objection.

“Stop, it,” Arizona finally said, still giggling. “We need to become presentable, remember? Pretty sure naked doesn’t qualify as presentable,” she joked and with some effort broke free and was out of Callie’s reach.

Callie pouted but enjoyed the view of her naked girlfriend crossing the floor.

“I’ll be waiting for you,” Arizona promised flirtatiously and went into their bathroom.

Callie shook her head, a smile adorning her face as she finally got up and for the first time since they actually finished transferring things the previous day, looked around her. What she saw caught her off guard. Just from that very preliminary, very none-thorough glance, it was so very evident that Arizona had more things than she did. Probably more than double the amount. Callie stared in shock as the confusing realization hit her. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it. 

She found herself freaking out all of a sudden, looking more extensively around her. She swallowed hard and walked into their bedroom, realizing that there as well there were at least double the amount of boxes labeled with “Arizona.”

She furrowed her eyebrows and grimaced.

“Calliope, you comin’?” Her girlfriend called from the bathroom and Callie could hear she started the water.

“Be right there,” she replied so faintly she wasn’t even sure Arizona heard her. She really did mean to join her girlfriend in the shower, but as she walked into the living room again, the quantity of Arizona’s belongings assaulted her once more. She couldn’t fathom how it didn’t hit her before. Both mentally and physically since it was practically everywhere. She started to breath hard, backtracked to the bedroom to throw some clothes on and passed by the now forgotten bathroom on her way out of the apartment.

* * *

“Calliope?”  Arizona asked with a smile as she came out of the shower. When she realized her girlfriend wasn’t going to join her she showered on her own. But she was ready to scold her partner now.

_Maybe even sexually scold._

“You missed all the fun,” she whined, walking further into the living room, “where have you…” but before she finished her sentence she realized her girlfriend was MIA.

“Calliope?” She tried their bedroom but her girlfriend wasn’t there either. “Huh,” she concluded in puzzlement. “Where would she go?” She tried to figure out. “ **Why** would she go?”

Any reason why her girlfriend would pass on a shared shower was a mystery to her. She went to the second floor to make sure Callie wasn’t there though she couldn’t figure out why her girlfriend would be by the guest rooms.

“Callie?” She tried again, but nothing but silence greeted her.

She had to face the fact that her girlfriend was indeed gone.

_But where is she? Could she have gotten a phone call from the bed guy?_

But Arizona knew that if Callie had to leave for whatever reason she would’ve left her a note.

 _No, she can’t be far,_ Arizona deducted before she realized exactly where her girlfriend was.

She walked out of the apartment still in her bathrobe and took the elevator to the rooftop, all the while smiling at the memory of how excited her girlfriend was the first time they saw the view from the roof. Arizona knew when they bought the place that she’s going to find Callie up there very often.

Her instincts didn’t fail her as the back of the woman she loved came into view once the elevator doors opened. Callie was too far to hear the ding the elevator made. The roof was huge, Arizona wasn’t going to lie by saying she wasn’t excited by the whole gorgeous rooftop concept, too.

If Callie knew at all that Arizona was closing in on her, she didn’t give any sign to indicate it.

“Hey,” Arizona offered softly and wrapped her arms around Callie’s front. “I waited for you in the shower. What happened? Don’t tell me that you weren’t in the mood,” she teased, but Callie walked out of her embrace and leaned on the safety wall, sighing heavily.

“Calliope?” Arizona started in confusion. At this point her girlfriend’s behavior wasn’t just peculiar, but worrisome, too. “Is everything okay?”

Callie didn’t reply right away.

“No,” she finally admitted quietly.

“What is it? Are you feeling alright?” Arizona asked in concern, taking a step towards Callie who in return took a step further from her. Arizona was shocked. Whatever was going on with Callie, Arizona finally understood it had to do with **her**.

“You have so much stuff, Arizona,” Callie explained miserably.

 “Well, I’m a hoarder, you’ve found out my dirty, little secret,” Arizona tried to joke, but she could tell something wasn’t right.

“Did we rush into this?” Callie finally blurted out. She looked as if she was on the verge of tears.

“What?” Arizona wasn’t sure she heard right. The smile now completely gone from her face.

“No, I didn’t mean…” Callie tried helplessly.

“What **did** you mean, Calliope? Because it sounds to me like you’re regretting us moving in together.” Arizona face seemed blank of expression, but Callie could hear the hurt in her voice.

“I love you, Arizona,” Callie sighed.

“Then why are you regretting moving in with me?” Arizona demanded, now both hurt and anger very evident in her voice.

“We’ve been so focused on moving on that maybe we’ve been living in some sort of a bubble,” Callie explained sadly.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Arizona choked.

“We’re not…” Callie swallowed hard. “We’re not in the same place in life.”

“Callie…” Arizona was about to argue.

“You don’t have more stuff because you’re a hoarder, Arizona,” Callie smiled sadly, “you have more stuff because you’re a successful career woman who made it in life, and I…”

“You?” Arizona challenged, crossing her arms. They had similar arguments before, she knew where Callie was headed with this and she wasn’t going to let her girlfriend go too far before she obliterated all of her arguments.

“I’m just… me. Don’t have my own savings- trying to launch a second, hopeless career- with an unclear life expectancy, me,” Callie added sadly.

“Everything you just said can be summed up in one word, Callie. Brave,” Arizona stated angrily. She couldn’t stand it when Callie sold herself short.

“No, Arizona, everything I just said can be summed up in the word burden,” Callie countered.

“You’re not my burden, Callie!” Arizona yelled in frustration. “You can’t even say you’re financially dependent on me!”

“Yeah, but I’m not dependent on me, either,” Callie reminded her scornfully. “I don’t know if I’ll ever be. Why do you need to be stuck with someone whose life might never go anywhere?”

“Callie,” Arizona looked at her in disbelief, “where is this all coming from? You can’t possibly think it’s true.” She heard Callie mentions her fears in the past. Of not being successful, of always depending on others, and of course, the fear that never goes away – the cancer, the chance that it might come back. But Arizona never heard Callie so defeated, so unsure of her own worth. It broke Arizona’s heart.

“It’s just…” Callie tried, growling in frustration when she couldn’t complete the thought.

“It’s just what, Callie?” Arizona nearly begged. “Please tell me, because this isn’t you.”

“You have so much stuff, Arizona!” Callie yelled angrily.

“Okay… and?” Arizona threw her hands in the air, exasperated.

“I stood up from our makeshift bed and just saw… so many things,” Callie added vaguely, almost only to herself.

“Then I’ll throw stuff away, Callie,” Arizona offered, trying to get in Callie’s space again. This time her wish was granted as Callie didn’t back off when Arizona reached for her and grabbed her by the hip. “I don’t care about my crap, I honestly only care about you and if me having so many things truly bothers you I’ll throw it all in a heartbeat,” she promised, trying to get Callie to look at her. That wish didn’t prove as successful. “But you have to tell me what you want, okay?”

Callie didn’t say a word, she still looked away from Arizona but didn’t attempt to escape her touch. They stood in silence for a few moments, Arizona giving Callie the time to process.

 “Everyone is looking at every single step we make,” Callie finally said and raised her head to look at her girlfriend. “And I’m so very happy that I can just be with you in public whenever I want. Not over think or plan everything. But…”

“But?” Arizona encouraged her on. She wasn’t sure what was coming, but she didn’t really think Callie was this bothered by the extensive amount of her personal belongings.

“But I’m ashamed,” Callie finally admitted quietly and looked away again.

“Of me?” Arizona asked in confusion. Callie never gave her the impression she saw her as anything but extraordinary. Arizona never wanted to feel anything else.

“God, Arizona, of course not,” Callie was quick to quiet Arizona’s fear. “I’m ashamed of me. I don’t want the world to think of me as a slacker. I don’t want your fans to say that you deserve better. I know that’s what they think,” Callie finally explained, sadness and pain present in every word that came out of her mouth.

“Calliope…” Arizona was debating between being honest or being compassionate. She decided on some middle ground. “No matter what you do for a living, **some** people will see you that way.” She started, following up immediately when she saw the pained expression on Callie’s face. “But it’s absolutely not true. Most of them adore you. I swear, Bailey gave me the stats,” she joked, but saw her girlfriend was still not convinced. “Not that it even matters. I mean, how can they know what’s good for me when they don’t even know me? It’s an illusion, Callie. These are people who have no real bearing on anything that have to do with my life,” she promised, hoping that Callie was really hearing her.

“They brought you to where you are, Arizona. **You** keep saying that. That the fans are the ones that matter,” Callie’s voice choked.

“They matter a lot, Callie,” Arizona admitted, “but they can’t dictate my life and they sure as hell can’t pass judgment or provide their unwanted opinion,” Arizona concluded with a determined nod. Callie looked at her skeptically. “Well, I guess they technically can,” Arizona rolled her eyes, “and they do, but it doesn’t mean that it matters or have any actual connection to reality. I’m so sorry. Should I have not told the world about us?”

“What? No, Arizona, don’t be crazy. I don’t want you to feel like you should hide.”

“Yeah, but I subjected you to this. And since you and I are always gonna be together,” she smiled bittersweetly, “it’s not gonna get better. If anything, it’ll get worse.” She was hoping the mention of forever will somewhat cheer Callie up, but it seemed like her girlfriend was set on feeling unworthy today.

“Maybe it is somewhat my fault,” Callie suggested.

“Why are you saying that?” Arizona groaned at the absurdity.

“Because what do I do all day, Arizona?”

“Working on your novel,” Arizona replied without hesitation.

“Which means sitting home in my pjs and eating peanut butter sandwiches. Except that now I’m going to do that in **your** space.”

“ **Our** space, Calliope, and don’t you ever refer to it as anything but,” Arizona warned.

“Sometimes the gap between us really overwhelms me, Arizona. And then I wonder why you’re in this,” Callie admitted.

“Callie, there is no real gap,” Arizona argued. Callie glared at her, making her groan. “Okay,” she tried a different tactic, “let’s play something I like to call a reserved elimination game,” she suggested playfully, laughing as she saw the skeptical look Callie gave her.

“What does that even mean?” Callie asked irritated. Arizona thought that Callie looked adorable and was happy that she actually seemed engaged.

“I’ll show you. Calliope Torres,” she started, sounding all formal like, “are you aware of the fact that you’re a very hot woman?”

“I… Arizona, what is this?”

“Just answer the question, Callie,” Arizona warned.

“Fine. Yes, I am aware,” Callie gave in, rolling her eyes.

“Are you aware of the fact that you’re intelligent and funny?”

Callie glared at her in annoyance but answered nonetheless. “Yes, I’m aware.”

“Good. We’re making progress,” Arizona teased. “Are you aware of the fact that you are one of the kindest, most caring people I’ve ever met?”

“If you say so,” Callie shrugged.

“I’ll take it as a yes,” Arizona noted cheerfully. “And finally, are you aware of the fact that you are extremely talented?”

Callie stared at her but said nothing. Arizona could see that she’s hesitant.

“Are you aware?” Arizona pushed on.

“I…” Callie started, “I don’t know if I’d say extremely…”

“Calliope,” Arizona warned.

“Fine, Arizona, fine. I think I’m talented, okay?” Callie admitted as she threw her hands in the air.

“ **Extremely** talented,” Arizona reminded, making Callie shake her head. “There you have it, Calliope. Super hot, intelligent, funny, have a huge heart, and ridiculously talented. Why would I **not** want to be here?”

“You’re talking like a girlfriend,” Callie scoffed.

“Yeah, well, that’s what I am,” Arizona chuckled.

“Yeah but you are biased.”

“Maybe, but I also know to recognize what’s good. Don’t you trust my artistic judgment?” She challenged teasingly.

“You know that I do, but…” Callie tried.

“But nothing, Calliope. Even if we were actual hobos I’d love to be around you,” Arizona joked, putting her hand on Callie’s cheek, not letting her look away. “I get that you’re freaking out. We both know we didn’t really rush into this. We’ve known each other for more than two years. So I know we’re not making a mistake here. Do you?”

“I mean… yes, I know that moving in together isn’t actually a mistake,” Callie confessed, “but…”

“But you just want to feel accomplished,” Arizona softly finished the thought.

“Yeah. I just want you to be proud of me. I want the world to think you’re with someone who deserves you,” Callie sighed.

“Calliope,” Arizona pecked her lips, “you **are** accomplished and I’m **always** proud of you. You went to school, studied business **and** had an artistic minor, you held a high position in a huge company, your friends adore you and god, your first short story in years was published, you beat cancer. **I** adore you. You are my hero, and I mean that,” Arizona confessed genuinely and could see that her words brought Callie to near tears. “You have achieved so much already. The art will come, too, I really believe in you. Just be patient, okay? It takes time, but you’re amazing,” she concluded.

“I’m a cancer survivor. I’m not too good with patience. I don’t like waiting,” Callie huffed.

“That’s called being an artist, Callie,” Arizona teased. “Welcome to my world. Please never leave.”

“Fine,” Callie agreed dramatically, “I won’t. You are very persuasive. Thank you.” She smiled and took something out of her pocket. She took Arizona’s hand to get a better access to her charm bracelet so she could add a key shaped charm to the dove that was already there.

When Arizona realized what was happening and when she saw the charm Callie got her, she smiled. The bracelet was meant to help them celebrate their big moments and like always, her girlfriend didn’t disappoint.

Arizona couldn’t help but chuckle, making a pouting Callie look up at her.

“What?” Callie whined. “Why are you laughing?”

 “The fact that you felt like the way you did today but still had this in your pocket…to me this means you have the heart of an optimist, my love,” Arizona explained and got a wide smile in return. “Because you’re always ready, like you know that no matter what, we’ll be okay.”

“We have to be okay no matter what, Arizona,” Callie stated matter-of-factly.

“And why is that?” Arizona challenged, she already knew the answer.

“Because you’re the love of my life,” Callie admitted in annoyance. “Asshole.”

* * *

 **A/N:**  Have no doubt in your hearts, they went back downstairs just in time for their bed to arrive!


	19. Chapter 18

**_Two Weeks Later…_ **

Their move-in was a bit on the hectic side, there was no doubt about it, but now Callie was doing a whole other sort of packing.

“So let me get this straight,” Addison told her packing friend, “you’re celebrating your house warming by going to Spain?”

“Yes,” Callie stated simply, throwing a second pair of bikinis into her suitcase.

“How exactly does that work?”

“Hmm, let’s see…” Callie tapped her chin, pretending to think about her answer. “If memory serves right when it was our actual anniversary we were stuck with you guys…”

“Hmm, excuse you,” Addison interrupted, “I specifically remember being asked to come and **help** you not make mistakes in the choosing of your new home. You’re welcome, by the way. This place looks gorgeous.”

“And then we had to go see my parents and that was a lot of fun,” Callie ignored Addison completely. “Of course it was better than expected, much, but it doesn’t change the fact that we never celebrated either of our anniversaries.”

“In plural? Jeez. How many do you have?” Addison inquired skeptically.

“Two, well, three maybe?” Callie tried to recall but then saw the confused look on Addison’s face. “Okay, the first one is when we first met…”

“Again, you’re welcome,” Addison interrupted again.

“I really want to give you a sarcastic comeback but I really can’t. You **did** bring her into my life, so thank you,” Callie admitted genuinely.

“God, Cal, keep your sappiness to your Sapphic relationship, please,” Addison scoffed.

“Typical Addison,” Callie shook her head. “Fishing for compliments and then when you actually get a sincere one you are so very embarrassed,” she smirked when she saw her friend’s face redden.

“Oh just tell me about the damn anniversaries!” Addison snapped.

“And then, you know, there’s when we met for the second time and when we actually got together,” Callie shrugged and put a couple of tank tops on the “maybe” pile on her bed.

“Why do you need to celebrate the second time you met?” Addison asked in confusion.

“Because…” Callie replied, indicating with her tone that the answer should be obvious.

“Because what?”

“Because… you know… she thought I was dead?”

“Oh, right, that.”

“Yeah, that,” Callie smiled sadly. “When she met me the first time she never really thought of it as a long term thing, because…”

“Because…” Addison nodded softly in agreement.

“So then when we met again it was kind of meeting for the first time all over again. Except there was some history there,” Callie explained, smiling nostalgically.

“And it was clear it was going to have some sort of continuity,” Addison added, realizing where Callie and Arizona were coming from.

“Well it was clear to her, anyway,” Callie snorted. “ **I** thought I can’t exactly call the famous Arizona Robbins and ask her out.”

“You are lucky your girl is crazy and just showed up at your doorstep,” Addison acknowledged.

“Twice,” Callie reminded with a smirk.

“Please tell me there isn’t an anniversary for both these times,” Addison rolled her eyes.

“Nope. Just the three I listed,” Callie shrugged and walked into the closet room.

“ **Just**. But it’s **because** you two are so sentimental that I wonder how come you wanna celebrate this magnificent place without the two people who helped you find it?” Addison called after her friend. “Teddy and I are in agreement on this.”

“Well, if Teddy and you are in agreement,” Callie mocked as she walked back into the room with a showy black dress in her hands.

“Woah, sexy,” Addison observed.

“Which is exactly why you and Teddy aren’t invited to this housewarming, triple anniversary thing,” Callie brushed off.

“Okay I didn’t say I want to go to Spain with you though we really should do a bestie trip soon now that you can fly out.”

“We really should,” Callie agreed and smiled at her best friend.

“I’m just saying that we didn’t get a chance to see each other a lot lately, and Teddy misses Arizona, too, and it’ll be nice to do something together, the four of us,” Addison admitted genuinely.

“You are right, and I’m sorry,” Callie apologized sincerely.

“I’m not saying this to make you feel guilty, I just want to spend some time with you,” Addison soothed.

“I know, but I’m still sorry things have been so crazy. How about we fly Teddy in and have dinner with the four of us once Arizona and I are back?”

“Sounds like a great idea,” Addison confirmed happily. “Maybe Mark, too? If Arizona wouldn’t mind?”

“Please, ever since he helped us move, she has seen the light and now worships the ground he walks on,” Callie smiled playfully.

“They always got along though,” Addison observed.

“Oh, yeah, I think ever since she realized you two are in love.”

“Callie…” Addison warned.

“But now she **really** likes him, so rest assured we can have a party of five when we get back,” Callie concluded.

“How long are you going to be away for, again?”

“Two weeks,” Callie replied giddily.

“Not too shabby!”

“Yeah, well, with Arizona’s work we should take the time off when we can. And I have every intention of getting as much writing done as possible,” Callie stated in determination.

“Between all the sex,” Addison snorted.

“ **And** the sightseeing!”

“Right, right,” Addison chuckled as they heard the entrance door open.

“Honey, I’m home!” Arizona called from the living room making Callie smile stupidly.

“You need to go now,” she ordered her best friend.

“Then why did you call me in the first place?” Addison whined.

“Because I was bored, but now my girlfriend is here,” Callie shrugged.

“Ovaries before brovaries, Callie!”

“I have ovaries, too,” Arizona leaned on the doorframe smirking as the two women looked up in surprise.

“How long have you been standing there?” Addison inquired suspiciously.

“Enough to know that you’ve been dismissed,” Arizona replied and walked in, flopping on the bed. “It’s a big apartment, Addison, but it doesn’t take **that** long to cross the living room.”

“Hi,” Callie said and ducked in to kiss Arizona. With Arizona being on the bed, Callie was practically hovering above her, very close to topping her, ruining her neatly folded “maybe” pile.

“God, if you wanted me to go you should’ve just asked,” Addison complained and stood up to gather her things.

“I did,” Callie reminded.

“There was no actual request in the order you gave me,” Addison scolded.

“Aren’t you glad we feel comfortable enough around you, Addie?” Arizona teased.

“Whatever. You guys have fun in Spain, which I’m sure you will, Arizona, because I’ve seen some of what Callie packed and it’s scandalous,” Addison crossed her arms.

“Is it now? I’m intrigued,” Arizona flirted, using her arm around Callie’s waist to lock her girlfriend in place.

“Yes. It kinda is,” Addison confirmed. “By the way, we’re having dinner with Teddy and Mark when you guys get back. Callie will fill you up… in! Callie will fill you in!” Addison was actually flustered which was a very rare occurrence. The couple broke in laughter as Addison groaned and left the room without a second goodbye.

“So…” Callie started.

“So?” Arizona challenged with a raised eyebrow.

“We have some time to kill. I don’t suppose there’s anything specific you wanna do?” Callie questioned innocently.

“I believe there was a talk about filling me up?”

“Ah, yes, so dinner when we get back…”

“Callie,” Arizona warned.

“Let me see what I can do,” Callie licked her lips as her eyes got darker.

* * *

“Hey, can I ask you something personal?” Callie inquired an hour later when they snuggled lazily. They were flying out later in the night which meant they still had time for last moment errands.

Arizona snorted.

“Are you asking if you, my partner of the last eight months, the woman whom I’ve mentioned to more than once that this thing is for good, can ask me something personal?” Arizona teased.

“Fine, fine, it was a silly build up,” Callie admitted in embarrassment.

“Yes, it was. That said, you can always ask me something personal, Calliope.”

“Hmm… it’s just not the easiest topic,” Callie explained as she cleared her throat. “I wanted to know if you ever suffered from an eating disorder.”

“Wha… what?” Arizona stared at her in absolute puzzlement.

“Never mind, it’s a stupid question,” Callie retreated.

“No, it’s not,” Arizona offered softly once she got over the initial surprise.

“You know what? It’s not,” Callie agreed. “You work in this crazy industry. I hear stories all the time. I’m your girlfriend. I should be able to ask you questions like that,” Callie argued.

“I totally agree, Callie,” Arizona smiled at her gently. “If something interests you about my past I want you to ask. Even if it’s uncomfortable.”

“Is it?” Callie seemed worried.

“No, it’s not, because to answer your question – I have never suffered from an eating disorder.”

“Okay, good.”

“But I know others who have,” Arizona added sadly.

“Oh.” Callie wasn’t sure what to say.

“Why is the sudden interest in the subject?”

“Well, I was packing bathing suits and…” Callie tried to explain.

“Oh! Did you pack the red one? You know the one.” Arizona offered Callie a seductive grin.

“Yes, Arizona, I packed it,” Callie provided with feigned annoyance. Her girlfriend has been talking about wanting to see her in that bathing suit for ages.

“Good, good, very important,” Arizona nodded seriously.

“Yes, incredibly. Anyways, I was packing and I thought how great you’d look in yours, and how great you look in general, and that I love how comfortable you are with your body,” Callie elaborated. “And then I wondered, ‘ **does** she feel comfortable with her body?’ I mean, you just **seem** so comfortable with your body, it’s really admirable. And I really don’t think I’m ugly, but…”

“Callie, you’re the epitome of the opposite of ugly,” Arizona chuckled, finally stopping her girlfriend’s verbal vomit.

“I just mean… I have my days, you know?”

“As do I, we all do.”

“You always seem so confident, Arizona!” Callie pouted.

“You know that’s not true. You’ve seen me **not** confident before,” Arizona reminded.

“Yeah but with your body… you always seem…”

“Says the girl who walks into the room like some sort of a goddess every time I see her!” Arizona argued with a chuckle.

“What? I do not!” Callie objected innocently.

“Yes, you do. When you don’t even think about it you are so fucking sexy.”

“And you?”

“And me? I learned how to carry myself gracefully a long time ago when the paparazzi are around. It doesn’t mean I always feel great about my body,” Arizona shrugged.

“So what you’re saying is that you’re like all of us mortals and feel self-conscious about your body sometimes?” Callie bit her lip to hide her smirk.

“Imagine that,” Arizona teased. “Most of the time I feel great and sexy because the person I’m with makes me feel great and sexy,” she admitted gently.

“Yeah, maybe that’s also why I presumably walk into a room like a goddess,” Callie suggested non-committedly, making Arizona snort.

“How did we end up having this conversation again?” she wondered out loud.

“Because I was worried and wanted to see if you dealt with eating disorders in the past?” Callie reminded casually.

“Right. Right. It’s no joke, Callie. And you were right, you see it very often in the business,” Arizona  again offered her a sad smile.

“I’m really glad you’re not part of the statistics,” Callie laced their fingers.

“Me too. But there’s so much pressure on you in this industry. I’ve seen friends who nearly lost their lives. Not just eating disorders. Alcohol, drug abuse, breakdowns,” Arizona swallowed hard and Callie could see that she was remembering things, people.

“How do you do it?” Callie asked, admiration present on her face. “You make it seem so simple, but it can be so hard.”

“I think it’s different for everyone, but it really helps to have a good support system,” she leaned in to kiss Callie’s forehead. The sensation made Callie close her eyes, when they fluttered open Arizona was staring at her intently. “An anchor,” she concluded, not bothering to hide the emotion in her voice.

“What if you don’t have an anchor?” Callie’s eyes were still locked with Arizona’s.

“Then you can drift for days,” Arizona’s voice choked as she recalled her life before Callie. “Or even worse, you can be lost at sea forever.”

* * *

 

**A/N:**

Well, I know we finished on a gloomy note, but I wanna clarify that this is not about co-dependency. I personally believe, and these characters, too, I think, that we can exist and survive on our own, and it’ll be okay, but having a support system can make life so much better. This is about Arizona being appreciative. Not just for Callie, but for her family and friends. She also recognizes that some people don’t have that and that’s why their stories have a different ending than hers. I think often times we appreciate our lives by remembering those we know or didn’t know who aren’t with us anymore, or who were less fortunate. It’s important to take a moment to recognize it. I know it’s not a typical chapter ending, but Callie and Arizona are real people and especially since both of them were lost, each in her own way, those moments are important for them to have.


	20. Chapter 19

“Can we tan in the nude?” Callie inquired as she tried to catch up with her girlfriend.

“Nope. Famous person,” Arizona reminded by pointing at herself and slowed down so she could grab Callie’s hand.

“Yeah I don’t think cancer would approve either,” Callie joked until she realized Arizona was glaring at her. “Arizona, it’s not even the same type of cancer!” She protested.

“Cancer is cancer is cancer and you shall have none of it!” Arizona announced and dragged Callie further along the coast line.

They landed the evening before and only had a chance to settle in their rented cabin, take a quick shower and fall asleep.

The outcome was an energized, nearly-not-jet-lagged-at-all morning.

Arizona woke up earlier, **way** earlier, Callie realized when she woke up and found a bouquet of flowers right in front of her face.

“Happy belated Anniversary… ries,” Arizona smiled sweetly at her that morning.

“Calliope? Did you hear a word of what I was saying?” The other woman inquired in annoyance when Callie realized she drifted away.

“I’m sorry, Babe, I was just thinking about this morning,” Callie apologized.

“Anything in particular?” Arizona quirked her eyebrow.

“Hmmm… the flowers,” Callie provided.

“And?”

“And the gorgeous earrings you got me.”

“And?”

“And the mind blowing sex,” Callie sighed, but couldn’t keep the annoyed front when she saw how excited her girlfriend looked.

“Yay for mind blowing sex!” Arizona announced making Callie bark in laughter.

“Are you absolutely sure we can’t do the nudist thing?” Callie tried again.

“Positive.”

“Then what’s the point of renting a private beach?” Callie whined.

“It’s called dry humping, Calliope.”

* * *

They had the most amazing week together and formed their little routine very quickly. Arizona was almost always the first to rise. It meant that every other day she went to the tiny local supermarket for groceries. No one recognized her there and it made her feel liberated. By the time she was back she always found Callie sitting in bed, typing tirelessly with an adorable crinkle between her eyes. The sight made Arizona’s heart soar. It felt so domestic, so mundane. It made Arizona feel like she was catching up on certain things she might’ve missed out on during their relationship because of her special social status.

“We need to get away together more often,” Arizona decided on the morning of the seventh day as she walked into their bedroom and found Callie typing yet again.

“We need to or we **want** to?” Callie teased without looking up. Arizona learned early on to not be hurt by the lack of direct eye contact. It meant that Callie’s brain was still mid-thought and that she had to put it down in words.

“ **Need** to, I think. For my sanity,” Arizona replied, waiting for her girlfriend to finish typing and finally look up at her. “This is my fantasy of what it could be like if we met under completely different circumstances. I’m the fisherman’s daughter and you’re a farmer,” she hummed.

“Arizona, if this was our real lives and not just a nice getaway I think you’d be bored out of your mind,” Callie snorted.

“I would **not** ,” Arizona objected.

“Two months tops,” Callie shrugged and looked back at her screen to add another sentence.

“How is it going? With the book I mean?” Arizona was genuinely curious. She didn’t ask Callie about the writing process very often. She tried to give her space, not distract her, but she hasn’t asked Callie in a while, and she also wanted to be involved.

“Actually,” Callie replied happily and locked eyes with her girlfriend, “the first draft is almost ready.” The sheer joy on Callie’s face was so sincere that Arizona couldn’t help but feeling just as giddy.

“Really?” Arizona asked in excitement.

“I know, shocking, right?” Callie tried to joke but Arizona could tell that she was actually proud of the achievement.

“Can I read it?” Arizona approached the bed carefully, as if the question itself was violating Callie’s sacred writing space.

“You’re probably the only person in this world who’ll get a positive answer to that question,” Callie teased. Arizona’s concern was adorable and ever appreciated. Callie stretched her arm forward in an inviting gesture, letting Arizona know that her presence was welcome.

“I don’t want to interrupt,” Arizona admitted as she sat on the bed in front of Callie and grabbed the offered hand.

“You won’t. I’m gonna keep writing and you’ll lie down next to me and go through emails,” Callie announced decisively.

“Wha… emails? Calliope, I promised no work on our anniversary,” Arizona protested in feigned hurt. “I haven’t checked my emails in a week!”

“Uh huh,” Callie replied, unimpressed. “Whatever you say. I’m giving you a special permission to do the thing you totally haven’t done every night when you thought I fell asleep and every morning when I was in the shower.”

“God, you’re good,” Arizona was impressed. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize, Babe, I never asked you to get all off-grid,” Callie reminded softly.

“I know, but I wanted to,” Arizona admitted sadly.

“Well, you work in the kind of business where things can change on an hourly basis so that wasn’t realistic,” Callie chuckled.

“Fine,” Arizona crossed her arms and huffed. “Then can I take you up on the offer to lie down next to you and check my emails while you write?”

“Of course. It’s nice to sometimes be in our own separate worlds but… together, you know?”

“I know,” Arizona confirmed with a smile.

* * *

“Are you done yet?” Arizona poked Callie’s arm in annoyance.

It was the following afternoon and they were in their writing-while-the-other-checks-emails arrangement yet again.

“No, Arizona, not yet. Sheesh. What happened to not wanting to interrupt?” Callie rolled her eyes.

“But it’s different!” Arizona countered with a pout. “You’re practically done. You only need to re-read and then you’ve been procrastinating all morning instead of us going out for a fancy breakfast, and now you’re what? Half way through?”

“More like a quarter way through,” Callie admitted sheepishly.

“Right. I’m doing you a favor,” Arizona excused matter-of-factly. “It’s not good to read your material right after you finished writing it. You need to distance yourself from the work so you can come back later with a fresh set of eyes.”

“Is that what they taught you in writers’ school?” Callie challenged teasingly.

“Just lifelong experience, Calliope,” Arizona shrugged.  “Come on, it’s our last day in seclusion. Sightseeing is fun but everyone’s gonna be watching us starting tomorrow. I want you to myself for as long as I can. I’ll even allow tanning in the nude!” Arizona negotiated.

“But I thought… famous person,” Callie stared at her in shock. She’d been bringing up the tanning subject since day one.

“Yes but I feel like I need to up my game here, Calliope.”

“Okay,” Callie consented.

“Okay?

“Yeah, but you don’t need to bribe me with nudity, I was just teasing,” Callie smiled.

“Oh.”

“Nor do you need to feel like you don’t have me all to yourself, always,” Callie reminded.

“You know what I mean,” Arizona replied, cheeks turning slightly red.

“What I know is you’ve been acting like this is some sort of an escape,” Callie observed, lacing their fingers.

“Well, isn’t it?”

“Escape from what, Arizona?” Callie chuckled lightly. “We’re both still doing work, and when we’re back home we still… share a home.”

“Then what would you call this?” Arizona challenged with a smirk.

“A very welcome change of scenery,” Callie provided and leaned in to kiss her girlfriend. Arizona hummed in pleasure.

“I wish we could stay another week,” Arizona admitted with a sigh, “escape or no escape.”

“Well, we can,” Callie said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“We can?”

“Of course, Babe. Who exactly is waiting for us back home? Addison and Teddy?” Callie huffed. “The people who matter the most are already here, and if you don’t have any immediate thing we can just push our return date.”

Arizona stared at her in admiration.

“I love you, you know that?” She brought a hand up to cup Callie’s cheek. “You’re such a visionary.”

“For suggesting that we stay another week?” Callie laughed lightly.

“That and the thing you’ve done with your tongue earlier,” Arizona added flirtatiously and leaned in to give Callie a tender kiss that took both their breath away.

“You wanna come back here for a few more days after we’re done with Madrid and Barcelona, don’t you?” Callie eyed her suspiciously once they broke the kiss, as if she realized it was a tactic.

“You, Calliope Torres, know me very well,” Arizona smirked victoriously. “I absolutely love it.”

* * *

“Why are you so fidgety? I mean, beside the obvious,” Callie glared at her girlfriend in annoyance.

“Because the entrance was free,” Arizona threw her hands in the air.

“So?” Callie’s frustration was present in the question.

“So? What do you mean ‘so?’ People will think I’m cheap!”

“Or maybe they’ll think you’re trying to see a gorgeous reconstructed Egyptian temple?” Callie deadpanned, making Arizona groan in return.

“Come on, Arizona, just fuck everyone else. That’s what you told me, right? Let’s enjoy this,” Callie held her palm and kissed it softly.

They’ve been chased by the paparazzi since they arrived in Madrid. Back in the states they mostly kept to themselves with the occasional walk in the park or dinner somewhere more private, but touring was a different matter. They were out and about every day, all day, and the local press kept snapping photos of the superstar and her gorgeous girlfriend. And when Callie and Arizona exhibited the most minimal of PDA they could hear people all around them cheer, catcall, or just asking them to turn in order to get a better photo.

In the first few days, Callie was the one who was a bit shocked and overwhelmed by the unfamiliar amount of attention while Arizona was the one to sooth her and tell her to treat the paparazzi like a background noise. The tables turned once Callie took Arizona’s advice to heart and chose to enjoy herself no matter what. Arizona, however, was weighed down by the chasing and the calling.

“Can you make these assholes go away?” Arizona pleaded.

“I can make you forget they are around, but I’m afraid the Torres Method will put us on the front page tomorrow,” Callie flirted, not missing the way Arizona gulped.

“Come on, it’s getting darker and I really want us to get to see this,” Callie continued, interlocking their elbows and leading Arizona towards the entrance. Chatting will keep Arizona’s mind off of the predators, she knew.

“I **have** heard that it looks gorgeous at night,” Arizona agreed.

“You’ve heard that from me, I told you that yesterday,” Callie stated nonchalantly.

“You are very hot and very smart,” Arizona offered sweetly, “and I guess it’s naive of me to hope that these idiots won’t be interested in two hot women who happen to be an item.”

“Yes, but it has been a nice week so far, right?” Callie prompted in genuine concern. “You’re managing to enjoy yourself?”

“Oh, Callie,” Arizona was touched by her girlfriend’s concern, “I’m having a wonderful time with you. I know I vent a lot about our always-present chaperones and I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss the cabin, but I really love seeing the world with you,” Arizona admitted honestly.

“And we’re still going back to that cabin!” Callie reminded cheerfully.

“Yes, we are. But I’m loving every minute here,” Arizona smiled widely, “you actually managed to find the places I’ve never been to, so thank you.”

“And you managed to be patient when I wanted to go see places **I’ve** never been to. So thank **you**.”

“We’re both so considerate. Birds of a feather…” Arizona winked.

“What was your favorite thing so far?” Callie inquired as they finally passed the entrance and left the constant intruders behind them.

“Well, you know the answer,” Arizona voice had a touch of warning of the teasing she knew was coming.

“Are you serious? Arizona you’re such a nerd! The Naval Museum is no one’s favorite thing!” Callie protested.

Arizona said nothing but looked at the floor instead. Callie examined her profile in suspicion.

“Oh, I get it,” Callie smirked.

“What? You get what?” Arizona tried to defend.

“You’re named after a ship. You have a little naval obsession, don’t you?” Callie fired victoriously.

“I’m named after a **battle** ship, Calliope,” Arizona demanded.

“That’s a yes. That’s totally a yes! You are such a dork!” Callie couldn’t stop her roaring laughter.

Arizona huffed as her cheeks reddened. She was very grateful the paparazzi weren’t there to see her current skin tone.

“Hey, hey,” Callie soothed softly once she saw how upset Arizona was. “I happen to find nerds **incredibly** sexy. I think you’re insanely adorable,” she soothed and Arizona could see she meant it.

“I just appreciate history, you know? Especially when it relates to my roots.” Arizona explained emotionally.

“I know. And I love learning these things about you. I love you.”

“I love you, too,” Arizona mirrored, all embarrassment forgotten. Callie always made sure any negative feeling Arizona experienced didn’t last long. Arizona loved that notion.

“You ready to see if the night version of the Temple of Debod lives to the hype?” Callie smiled, using her arm on Arizona’s waist to bring her girlfriend closer to her side.

“My view is breathtaking already,” Arizona replied, locking eyes with the other woman.

“Sweet talker,” Callie shook her head in a mocking manner but brought Arizona in for a kiss nonetheless.

It lasted a bit longer than it should’ve and the two women missed the one photographer who managed to bypass the guards at the entrance.

They were completely lost in their own little bubble while the man recorded their less-chaste-than-normal –PDA moment.

* * *

“Are you done yet?” Callie poked Arizona’s arm in annoyance.

“No, Calliope,” Arizona groaned, “it has been five minutes since the last time you asked me, so no, I’m not done yet!”

They’d been back in the cabin for four days, nearing the end of their vacation. The first couple of days were great and then Arizona did the mistake of reminding Callie she was promised a chance to read her novel.

On the third day, Callie kept making excuses. **Really** silly excuses. ‘Did you hear something suspicious?’ followed by bolting out and running into the ocean kind of excuses.

Which is why Arizona was surprised in the morning of the fourth day when Callie woke her up. Not only did Callie wake up before her which was unheard of, but she also dropped a thick binder in her lap before Arizona even had the chance to open her eyes.

“Read!” Her girlfriend commanded instead of wishing her good morning. Arizona didn’t even bother to ask how Callie got the four hundred and fifty pages printed and into a binder at the break of dawn. She realized that Callie was giving it to her before she had a chance to regret it. What Arizona didn’t expect, however, was for Callie to sit on the bed with her the whole day and stare at her while she was reading. Arizona could’ve sworn she even saw Callie bite her nails a few times. The whole ordeal was distracting and unnerving.

“And now?” Callie asked once more before five more minutes went by.

“Calliope! Go to the other room!” Arizona snapped.”You’re not allowed to come back here until I come and get you! Am I making myself clear?”

“Are you actually sending me away?” Callie laughed in disbelief.

Arizona took a deep breath to brace herself.

“My favorite girl in the whole wide world wrote a whole freaking novel. Do you know how amazing that is?” Arizona’s words were kind, but she still glared at Callie. ”I wanna give this book my undivided attention and you’re interrupting me. So, yes. Go away,” she finished and dismissed Callie using her hand without giving her a second look.

“Arizona!” Callie called out in disbelief but was ignored. She huffed and stared at her girlfriend to see if she’ll give in but Arizona gave no sign that she was even aware of Callie’s presence. Callie scoffed and left the room.

She paced for the first fifteen minutes, then she peeked into the bedroom and saw Arizona immersed in the book, nose hidden behind the binder. Callie went back to the living room to pace for fifteen additional minutes. She crossed the room to the kitchen where she took the ice cream box out of the freezer and devoured it in its entirety within twelve minutes. She sighed and walked to the bedroom for another peek just in time to see Arizona flipping a page. Her expression gave away nothing regarding her impression of the reading material. Callie pouted and finally went back to the living room. After another round of pacing, she gave up and flopped on the couch. She stared at the ceiling and counted dark spots until she drifted to sleep.

An hour later a soft hand shook her softly.

“Calliope?” The familiar voice brought her back into the world of consciousness.

It took her a few moments but she finally realized that Arizona came to get her. She knew what that meant.

“Well?” She asked in childish hope and sat up sharply.

Between the eye-rubbing, the ice cream stains on her face, and the hopeful look in her eyes, Arizona thought Callie was the most adorable sight the world has ever seen.

Arizona’s reply was a wide smile from ear to ear.


	21. Chapter 20

**_One Month Later…_ **

“Let me help you get a publisher!” Arizona pleaded.

“No.”

They’ve been having different versions of this conversation for the last couple of weeks and Callie was about to snap. They were supposed to host dinner an hour later. The last thing she wanted to do was to fight with Arizona in the middle of the kitchen when she was supposed to watch over the chicken simmer.

“Callie!” Arizona argued.

“It’s not finished yet, Arizona,” Callie brushed off.

“Yes it is. You read it over and over again and whatever comes next can only be done with a publisher. Let me save you the time and… well, hook you up.”

“Arizona!” Callie threw her hands in the air in frustration. “I need to do this on my own and not only succeed because my girlfriend is famous.”

“You’ll succeed because it’s a wonderful book! But instead of succeeding in the far off future, I want you to have everything you ever wanted **now** ,” Arizona explained, nearly begging. “Why can’t I help you if I’m in the position to do it?”

“Because I’m a proud, stubborn person. Is that what you wanna hear?” Callie fired back.

“Well, humble yourself and let me help you get your foot in the door! If the situation was reversed…”

“But it will never be reversed!” Callie reminded angrily. She saw the hurt on Arizona’s face and took a deep breath. “At least… at least let me try first, okay?”

Arizona swallowed hard, she wasn’t sure how to feel about the outburst.

“Look,” Callie started, “I know you’re only offering because you love me…”

“I’m only offering because I **really** love you,” Arizona corrected seriously.

“I know,” Callie smiled softly, “and I swear, this isn’t about me resenting you for being famous. I just want to feel accomplished.”

“You should feel accomplished either way, Callie. The novel itself is the accomplishment,” Arizona pointed out.

“Maybe, but I need someone other than my girlfriend to recognize this accomplishment,” Callie shrugged, “so let me at least try to do this on my own for a few months, and then we’ll see, okay?” She asked gently. She really wanted to put this argument behind them.

“Okay, but just so you know, I didn’t get to where I am today all on my own,” Arizona confessed. “Sometimes you have to let people help you especially when you know their only motive is their faith in you,” Arizona offered and was happy to see that Callie was at least considering the idea. “We do different things, Calliope, but we’re both artists,” she continued, “and sometimes to get to the top of our field we need to let people help. I think we both know I’m proud, too.”

“You aren’t talking about anything kinky, right?” Callie brought up in concern.

“I had offers,” Arizona smirked, “and your question is not totally off base because, sadly, we both know that it actually happens. But no, Calliope, just genuine good old help. People who were signed with agents and recommended me, casting directors who took chances on me because they gave me smaller roles in the past but wanted to give me something big for the first time,” Arizona explained with a smile. “When you work hard and stay a decent human being people will **want** to help you. Sometimes you need to let them.”

“I’ll think about it, okay?” Callie promised, “but please, let me try first without us talking about it every other day.”

 “I promise,” Arizona did the scouts honor to show how sincere she was.

* * *

“Ladies,” Mark said an hour later as he and Addison walked into the kitchen. Teddy was staying with Callie and Arizona and took every advantage of the fact she basically had her own floor.

“How did you get in?” Callie investigated in shock.

“I used my key,” Mark shrugged as he opened the fridge and took out a beer.

“How did your beer get here?” Callie was completely dumbfounded. “Did you know anything about this?” She turned to her girlfriend who suddenly looked guilty.

“I may have given him one,” Arizona admitted sheepishly. “And let him leave some beer here.”

“And why would you do that?” Callie glared at her. “We were finally free!”

“Hey now!” Mark protested and Addison snorted.

“Because he asked really nicely?” Arizona offered innocently.

“I told you she worships him now,” Callie said to Addison and sighed.

“At least someone is being a good friend!” Addison challenged.  “I can’t believe it took you a whole month to make this dinner happen!”

“Well once we returned we realized we didn’t really have to see any other human unless we wanted to,” Callie replied nonchalantly.

“Gee, thanks.” Addison scoffed.

“You think I don’t care but wait until you try this chicken piccata,” Callie joked, “care is the secret ingredient!”

“Really?”

“Lame.”

Addison and Mark said respectively.

“ **I** think it’s sweet,” Arizona grabbed Callie by the shirt and brought her in for a quick kiss.

“Of course you do,” Addison rolled her eyes.

“Hey, what did I miss?” Teddy burst into the kitchen and tried to pick one of the baby carrots that were in a bowl on the table. Callie slapped her hand away.

“Ouch,” Teddy pouted.

“You didn’t miss anything except for these two being sickeningly touchy-feely,” Addison supplied.

“Lame,” Teddy commented in disinterest and managed to sneak a carrot into her mouth.

“That’s what I said!” Mark announced victoriously.

“If we’re so insufferable then why are you all here?” Arizona demanded.

“Have you tasted the food?”  Mark asked her as if her question was the most unreasonable thing ever. “It’s superb.”

“Yeah, I’m hearing care is the secret ingredient,” Addison concluded and the three went to the living room leaving the exasperated couple to stare at them go.

* * *

“Okay, no joke, Callie you’re an amazing cook,” Teddy complimented sincerely. “Had I known I would’ve never tried to stop Arizona from visiting you at the hospital that very first time.”

“Wait, you did what?” Callie asked in shock.

“Aaaaanyways, I think we should go now,” Teddy tried to sidetrack.

“This is where you’re staying,” Arizona deadpanned, glaring at her friend for the unnecessary revelation.

“Well, we’re going drinking and we know you two love birds are dying to be left alone,” Addison tried to save her relatively new, yet loyal friend.

“Nice save Addison, but,” Callie turned to lock eyes with Teddy, “you’re gonna make it up to me one day.”

“If it was the other way around, you would try to convince her not to go, too,” Teddy blurted in a barely audible voice. Mark snorted and took another sip from his beer.

“What was that?” Callie challenged.

“Nothing! Nothing! Well, time to go!” Teddy stood up and dragged Addison by the arm.

“Ouch, calm down, Woman!” Addison protested, “I’m the one who should be hurt because I’m the one who tried to get Arizona into that hospital in the first place.”

As Addison and Teddy kept bickering Mark leaned in so only Callie and Arizona could hear him.

“I’m gonna do you both a favor now and get these two out of your hair.”

“Thanks, Mark, you’re a true friend,” Callie smiled gratefully.

“Which is why I got my own key!” He declared victoriously as he got up. Callie gave the ashamed Arizona another annoyed look before she got up as well.

They walked their friends to the door and as they opened it Teddy who was the first one out realized there’s a box at their doorstep.

“Oh! You guys got something! And it’s pink!” Teddy announced excitedly. “How considerate!”

“What’s inside?” Addison questioned curiously and tried to open the box.

“It’s addressed to Arizona and I believe opening another person’s mail is a federal offense,” Callie warned once she saw the label.

“But we wanna know!” Teddy whined making Arizona chuckle.

“You kids go have fun. We’ll tell you know what it was later,” Arizona promised.

“Too small for a pony,” Teddy observed.

“Yes, Genius, it is,” Addison mocked. “Come on, let’s go. We’re not wanted here at this time!”

“Shut up,” Callie rolled her eyes. “Tonight was a lot of fun. Thanks for coming.”

“Thanks for cooking for us, Cal,” Addison smiled, “we’ll see you soon.”

“Don’t stay out too late!” Arizona called after her best friend once the three companions started walking down the hallway.

“Whatever you say, Mom!” Teddy mocked as they turned around the corner and disappeared.

“I’m not her mom,” Arizona pouted and walked back in followed by her girlfriend who carried the pink package.

“Bummer for her, you’d be an amazing mom,” Callie shrugged.

“Do you really think so?” Arizona never been with anyone who she actually wanted to start a family with before so she didn’t pay the whole parenthood subject much thought.

“Of course, Arizona,” Callie looked at her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, as if she was surprised Arizona was even asking. “Is that not… something you want?” Callie added, now in concern. “You had that whole spiel about kids, and chickens so I thought…” she let the sentence linger.

Callie knew she found the one, but she also knew that she wanted kids and to find out now, when they were both so invested that they weren’t on the same page, would be devastating.

“I… honestly?” Arizona started cautiously, “I never thought about it too much.”

“Oh,” Callie commented in disappointed.

“Don’t get me wrong, Calliope, I love kids,” Arizona was quick to explain, “I just never met someone who I actually wanted to start a family with and being a parent is something that I didn’t want to do on my own, you know? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but it’s just not something that I wanted for myself. Being a single mom,” Arizona wrapped up.

“So what you’re saying is…” Callie encouraged her to say more, hope now back on her features.

“What I’m saying is that I found someone I’d actually want to have a family with, at some point,” Arizona concluded with a smile.

“At some point like… soon, or…?” Callie mirrored her smile.

“Callie…” Arizona started, wondering if it was finally time to give Callie the speech she has been reciting since they came back from Spain or to wait a while longer, make a bigger gesture.

“You know what,” Callie cut her off, “I absolutely want us to talk about this more, a lot more. But if we don’t see what’s in this box I think the curiosity might kill me,” Callie admitted teasingly.

“Not you too,” Arizona sighed. “You know fans found out this address within like five days after we moved here. It’s just fanmail!” Arizona protested.

“Tsk, tsk. Be more appreciative, Arizona,” Callie scolded.

“You know that I am. There’s just no rush,” Arizona stated.

“Some of the fan art is gorgeous, though.”

“Fine! Fine, you can open it!” Arizona gave up, exasperated. “So not how I thought this night was gonna go.”

“Yay!” Callie announced victoriously and opened the box to find a much smaller envelope inside.

“Well, that’s a lie in the advertising,” Callie scoffed in disappointment but opened the envelope nonetheless.

She started reading and Arizona could see her getting worked up.

“Calliope, what is it?” Arizona asked in concern.

Callie swallowed hard and finished reading.

“Nothing of importance,” she brushed off and put the letter away. Arizona grabbed it immediately and started examining it.

There was a paper clip with a photo of them kissing at the Temple of Debold in Madrid. Callie’s head was circled in what seemed like a target drawn with a red Sharpie.

Arizona’s blood ran cold as she read the attached letter.

She read it three times in a row and still didn’t feel like it was real. The whole letter was by a fan named Heather who claimed she was in love with Arizona and couldn’t understand why she’d date someone from an “inferior” race. It was awful enough but then she outright threatened to kill Callie if Arizona wouldn’t break up with her.  The letter ended with:

**Make the right choice, my love, so we can be together. Don’t make me do something unnecessarily messy.**

**Yours always,**

**Heather.**

“Well, I guess this proves that the curiosity **could** kill the cat,” Callie tried to joke. “Not the best fanmail you ever got, cute photo of us, though.” She felt surprisingly composed and she couldn’t help but thinking it was because she already looked death in the eyes once and won. This was nothing. No, it was disturbing and unwelcome and absolutely required a reaction but Callie had no intention of letting it ruin their night. Whatever they decided to do, press charges, call the cops, they could discuss, but she refused to let their day end on a sour note.

However, when she finally looked at her girlfriend’s face she saw that Arizona was as white as a ghost.

“Callie…” Arizona started breathing heavily.

“And what does she even mean by a bi-racial couple?” Callie teased again, bringing Arizona into a hug. She knew her girlfriend was taking it much harder than she was and maybe it was because it was **Arizona’s** significant other who was being threatened. If someone ever threatened Arizona’s life Callie didn’t know what she would do.

“You know what she means,” Arizona gritted her teeth and stood up.

“I guess, but a lesbian white supremacists? Can this even be a thing?” Callie tried another tension breaker but then saw the absolutely horrified expression on Arizona’s face.

“Arizona?” She asked in growing concern.

“You’ll never be safe with me,” Arizona stated and turned her back to Callie. “If it’s not her there’ll be others.”

“So, what? You’re doomed to roam these grounds alone?” Callie chuckled.

“I’m sorry, Calliope, I can’t do this,” Arizona turned towards her but looked anywhere but at her.

“Arizona, you’re just freaking out,” Callie stood up and softly put her arms on Arizona’s shoulders. “This is scary, but take a moment and calm down so we can talk about this.”

“No. There’s nothing to talk about. I have to keep you safe,” Arizona replied decisively, still looking away.

“Then we’ll hire people,” Callie offered seriously and put a hand below Arizona’s chin to make her look at her.

“It’ll be too much and at the same time it’ll never be enough,” Arizona eyes watered up, “I need to not give these people any reason to come after you.”

“Can’t we just laugh about it and let it go?” Callie tried in desperation. She didn’t like where the conversation was headed.

“No. We can’t,” Arizona declared and moved away from Callie.

“What are you saying?” Callie could feel the tears fill her eyes too.

“I… I have to go,” Arizona replied in a shattered voice.

“Arizona what are you talking about? Are you actually breaking up with me because of some psycho? You are giving her exactly what she wants!” Callie fired in an angry voice that was full of both heartbreak and disbelief. “We just bought an apartment! We talked about starting a family not five minutes ago!” She begged.

“I’m sorry,” Arizona answered in a completely defeated voice and started walking towards the door.

“Stop apologizing and stop being a coward!” Callie yelled after her making her turn around on her heels.

“How can you say that?” Arizona snapped, total sorrow apparent all over her face. “I love you more than anything. I can’t stand the thought of something happening to you!”

“If you really loved me, you would’ve stayed and fought this with me,” Callie countered quietly.

“It’s because I love you that I have to go,” Arizona explained miserably and turned to leave again.

“Arizona, don’t you dare walk out of that door!” Callie warned. “Don’t you dare walk out on me again!”

“You can have the apartment,” Arizona offered choking on a cry. “Teddy will pick up my stuff.”

“I don’t want to stay here without you!” Callie broke down in tears. “Please, **please** don’t leave.”

“I’m sorry,” Arizona pleaded for Callie to understand. “I love you so much.”

She turned around and a moment later was gone.

* * *

 **A/N:** Hey guys. I knew early on that Steak Knives was going to make an humble appearance. If anyone found the letter personally offensive, I apologize. That’s the whole point. I’ve heard in the past of celebrity couples actually getting death threats because they were a bi-racial couple (or whatever) and that’s actually **why** I chose to bring it up. Specifically, I heard about Taye Diggs and Idina Menzel and I think it’s important to know that some twisted people out there still think that way. This story deals a lot with fame and the good and bad things that come with it. Sadly, what I described here is a plausible scenario that comes with the territory.


	22. Chapter 21

**A/N:**  Hey guys. I know some of you took to heart the ending of the last chapter. Some even said that’s not something Arizona would do. I’m not gonna defend that choice **much** , because for me it is **so** Arizona. Her need to fix things, her convictions, her misguided believe that she’s doing what’s best for Callie. And also, and I will leave you with that, keep this next quote in mind, which for me shows above all just how much Arizona-like that behavior was: "Sometimes I panic in the moment, I call it wrong. I misjudge a situation." You might not like it, but ask yourselves if this is really not what Arizona would do immediately after being presented with the situation.

* * *

**_One Month Later…_ **

Addison walked into her apartment holding a box of ice cream. It has been the same routine almost every day in the past month. Inside the apartment was always a waiting brunette who even a month later couldn’t help but cry at least once a day.

At first Addison brought pizza which was absolutely against her own diet restrictions, but for her best friend she would endure. Except that Callie broke down and started weeping uncontrollably the moment she saw the pizza box, mumbling something about “Arizona,” and “first night at the apartment” and “makeshift bed” and “the fireplace wasn’t even on.”

Addison had no idea what all that meant but it didn’t take a genius to realize that the pizza triggered some Arizona related memory and thus, it was time to turn to ice cream instead.

“How long are you gonna keep bringing me ice cream?” Callie asked miserably once she saw her best friend. She blew her nose into a tissue.

“For as long as you’re here,” Addison stated matter-of-factly.

“How long are you gonna keep letting me stay here?” Callie looked completely guilty. She didn’t intend on staying this long, but she wasn’t sure where else to go.

“For as long as you need to,” Addison smiled softly, handed Callie the ice cream box and squeezed her shoulder. “You’re my best friend.”

Callie opened the box with a grateful smile and picked up the spoon that was already waiting on the table. Routine.

“Maybe I should go stay with Mark for a while,” Callie suggested and not for the first time. She didn’t want to go back to the home she shared with Arizona, her old apartment was long rented to someone else, and she really didn’t want to go back to Florida and explain to her finally accepting parents why the girl whom she thought she was going to marry left her.

“Callie, stop it!” Addison snapped. “We’ve talked about this. You’ll stay here for as long as you want. That is not the issue!”

“Then what **is** the issue?” Callie questioned gloomily as she shoved a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

“I am looking at it,” Addison crossed her arms. She was sadder than she was letting on. Even with all her snarky remarks and sarcasm Addison was absolutely overjoyed to see the two women together. She thought they complimented each other’s personalities and took good care of one another, and she couldn’t ignore how much Callie achieved not only in surviving post-cancer, but thriving, since Arizona came back into her life.

Their breakup shocked Addison. Her own love life was complicated, too, but if her inspirational couple couldn’t make it what hope did the rest of them have?

She wanted to be mad at Arizona, she wanted to hate her for Callie as was the best friend’s job, but she couldn’t fault Arizona for trying to protect her best friend from what seemed like a valid threat. As misguided as Arizona’s decision was, Addison couldn’t hate her.

“I’m sorry, Addison,” Callie sniffled forlornly. “I don’t know how not to feel this way anymore, I thought we…” but she choked on her own words.

“I know, Cal, I know,” Addison brought her friend in for a hug. “You’re not supposed to not feel it.”

“I thought I’d never have to go through a breakup again,” Callie explained once they broke the hug. “I thought…”

“Call her,” Arizona stated softly.

“I will **not** call her, Addison,” Callie snapped. Addison thought it was amazing how fast Callie went from sadness to anger whenever she was talking about Arizona, but Addison witnessed it more than once since her friend moved in. “I can’t keep reaching out to her when she runs away. She looked me in the eye and promised she’d never do something like this again. I said my piece and she still broke up with me,” she turned away. She didn’t feel like she was being unreasonably stubborn but just because she was right didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.

“Well, you don’t want to call her, you don’t want to feel this way anymore, where does that leave us?” Addison threw her hands up in frustration.

Callie looked at her in contempt, sat back on the sofa, and grabbed the ice cream box.

“Limbo,” she blurted bitterly and shoved more ice cream into her mouth.

* * *

**_Two weeks later…_ **

Teddy walked into Arizona’s home holding a box of donuts. It has been the same routine of almost every day in the past six weeks. Inside the house was always a waiting blonde who even a month and a half later couldn’t help but cry at least once a day.

Arizona’s face was buried deep inside a half eaten donut.

“What are you doing?” Teddy protested in disgust.

“Eating yesterday’s leftovers?” Arizona offered with her mouth half full.

“Oh, come on, Arizona,” Teddy approached her and grabbed the half eaten donut from her hand. “Just because you feel like crap and look like crap and eat crap doesn’t mean you can’t **at least** eat fresh crap!” Teddy scolded in disbelief. “You knew I would be over with a new box soon enough!”

“I gained ten pounds, Teddy,” Arizona whined. “I’m a monster!”

“And how is that **my** fault?” Teddy complained. This breakup was not working for her.

“Are you kidding?” Arizona was shocked. “You are the one who is bringing me the donuts!”

“Arizona, you just proved that you’d probably climb into a garbage truck if that meant having a donut,” Teddy deadpanned.

“Eww, no.”

“And I specifically recall you crying hysterically and begging for donuts saying that without donuts you were going to die,” Teddy reminded flatly.

“That… that might have been me projecting. Onto the donuts,” Arizona admitted in shame.

“You think?” Teddy questioned sarcastically.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Theodora,” Arizona turned away from her.

“You never wanna talk about it, Arizona, but you’re going to have to start to, or I’m cutting you off,” Teddy threatened making Arizona turn and stare at her in shock.

“You… you’d really do that?” Arizona got so worked up she was now on the verge of tears. “How can you be so cruel? You know how I feel about donuts!” Arizona started crying.

“Yes, Arizona, I know,” Teddy sighed and sat next to her friend. “That’s why I want you to go back… to donuts.”

“But then donuts could die,” Arizona’s cry gotten stronger.

“Arizona…” Teddy started, putting a soothing hand on her friend’s back, “we’re going to talk about this now,” she warned.

“Teddy, don’t,” Arizona insisted and put her face in her hands, turning her already drenched face to a now sticky mess.

 “That psycho is in jail now!” Teddy reminded with a groan for the umpteenth time.

“But there will always be psychos!” Arizona snapped and turned to Teddy. Teddy saw the absolutely petrified expression on Arizona’s face. Actual horror.

“Exactly!” She grabbed her friend’s hand, willing her to listen. “There will always be psychos! There will always be threats because people are crazy. You can’t let these people manipulate your life! We don’t negotiate with terrorists!” Teddy stated dramatically.

“Teddy…” Arizona sighed, taking deep breaths trying to compose herself. “I can’t do this,” she finally mumbled.

 “So what, Arizona?” Teddy challenged. “Are you saying that you’re never gonna be with anyone? That you deserve a life of solitude?”

“I don’t want her to get hurt, Teddy,” Arizona admitted in pain.

“Are we finally not talking about donuts?” Teddy questioned cynically and got a glare in return. “Well, you don’t want her to get hurt but I think she’s hurt all right. I think she lost her future wife and I think we both know that this is exactly what you were to her,” she finished, not regretting shedding light on the magnitude of what was actually lost.

Arizona didn’t know what to say. Teddy was more close to the truth than she’d realized.

 “Arizona,” Teddy started again, “you need to lock it down. Put a ring on it. Seal the deal. Tie the knot. No naval pun intended,” she pushed. She needed her friend to hear her. Teddy was absolutely certain Arizona had found the person she was meant to be with. It killed her to see Arizona throw it all away.

“I really, really want to, Teddy,” Arizona admitted, “but I can’t.”

“Why not?” Teddy demanded.

“What if she dies?” Arizona locked eyes with her. Teddy thought she looked completely broken.

“We’re all gonna die,” Teddy reminded with a sad smile.

“What if she dies sooner?”

“Is this about the cancer?” Teddy wondered out loud. “Are you afraid it might come back and this is your excuse of ditching?”

“Don’t even say that,” Arizona got up in protest. “The world interfering is one thing, but her getting hurt because of one of my crazy fans is another.”

“Arizona, we have no control over what is going to happen or when it does. We can only make a choice to make whatever undetermined time we do have matter,” Teddy tried, following her friend in standing up.

“I can’t,” Arizona shook her head, refusing to listen.

“Well, you better do **something** because now we have a whole new pile of these,” Teddy snapped as she pointed at a whole batch of drawings carrying Callie’s face.

“I can’t help it,” Arizona confessed sadly.

“Yes, you can,” Teddy argued.

“No, I can’t,” Arizona said quietly, picked the donut box, and left Teddy behind, standing alone in a living room that wasn’t hers.

* * *

**_One Week Later…_ **

“Go back to your girlfriend, Robbins.”

“Oh, Bailey, not you too!” Arizona sighed. “You didn’t even want me to be with her to begin with!” Arizona reminded her angrily.

“That’s not true, Robbins, I just wanted a heads up!” Bailey objected.

“Well, aren’t I more appealing to **both** men and women now that I’m single again?” Arizona questioned bitterly.

“Are you kidding? No! Callie is hot. Everyone loved her!” Bailey explained, exasperated.

“Except for those who wanted to kill her, you mean,” Arizona reminded coldly.

“Knock some sense into her, will you?” Bailey turned to April who actually seemed helpless for once in her life.

“Don’t you think I tried?” April shook her head. “This one is a total Grumpus.”

“Because I’m trying to protect Callie?” Arizona couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“No!” April suddenly stood up, surprising the other two women with the anger in her voice. “Because you making yourself some tortured saint by not sucking it up, acknowledging that it comes with the territory and letting your grown-ass girlfriend make her own decisions!” she concluded and crossed her arms.

“You go, Kepner!” Bailey encouraged, patting April’s back.

“This is really not how I thought this staff meeting was gonna go,” Arizona sighed in defeat.

“You’re diminishing her own autonomy as a human being by making the decision for her,” April added, now more relaxed.

“You need her, Robbins,” Bailey decided. “I’ve seen you with her. You’re a different person, she makes you better.”

“Of course she does,” Arizona gritted her teeth, “that’s why it’s called ‘my better half.’”

“I’m worried about you,” Bailey admitted sincerely. “In this head of yours, does it actually make sense to you to stay alone forever?”

“I’m trying really hard to not be selfish here, Miranda,” Arizona admitted. “And every day you guys or Teddy come and tell me to do the opposite, it becomes harder and harder to keep doing this.”

“But Arizona, you **are** being selfish,” April pointed cautiously.

“How the hell am I being selfish?” Arizona called in anger. “This really hurts. Every single minute.”

“You’re being selfish because she wants something from you and you’re not giving it to her because you’re scared.” April smiled sadly.

Arizona looked at her dumbfounded as if the thought hadn’t even occurred to her, because it hadn’t.

“I think you have some thinking to do,” April all but ordered. “Meeting’s over.”

“I really like this hyper-assertive side of yours, Kepner,” Bailey complimented.

“Thanks a lot, Bailey,” April glared at the shorter woman, “You just ruined our dramatic exit.”

* * *

**_One Week Later…_ **

“Arizona…” Teddy started the moment Arizona came through the door.

“Teddy, come on, at least give me five minutes before you start pouncing!” Arizona scolded, “or pretend like you care how my day was!”

“How was your day?” Teddy asked nonchalantly.

“It was fine, thank you!” Arizona replied aggressively and walked by her best friend who now just stayed over, never knowing in what mood Arizona might be. It was way better than being called over at three in the morning by a hysterical crying best friend which is exactly what happened a week prior following an overly emotional staff meeting.

“Arizona…” Teddy tried again and followed her friend.

“Please, please don’t,” Arizona turned to look at her in plead. Her eyes were begging of Teddy to not push on.

“Arizona, I…”

“I mean it, Teddy. It’s hard, it’s so hard,” Arizona shut her eyes and Teddy saw a single tear sneak through the lashes.

“I’m trying so hard to do the right thing, what I think is the right thing, while everyone else is telling me not to do it,” Arizona reasoned, sounding completely hopeless. “I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up, but my head is telling me that it’s what’s right.”

“What’s your heart telling you?” Teddy asked sadly, going with Arizona’s words rather than saying whatever it was she was about to say when Arizona walked in.

“The heart wants what the heart wants,” Arizona replied bitterly. “I can’t count on it to make the right decision. Not that there’s any decision to make. It’s not like Callie is sitting around waiting for me to go back to her,” Arizona added in desperation, “not this time.”

Teddy took a deep breath and gestured at a box on the coffee table.

“This came for you. It was at the door.”

“I don’t open packages I receive at my doorstep anymore, Teddy,” Arizona locked eyes with her friend. “I thought you would’ve known that,” she spat angrily.

“It’s… it’s from Callie,” Teddy explained cautiously.

“From Calliope?” Arizona seemed shocked.

 _She probably **is** in shock,_ Teddy thought.

“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” Teddy smiled softly and took her friend’s hand to lead her to the coffee table.

“Why would she…” Arizona started but stopped abruptly.

_Oh._

“Why would she what?”

“Why would she send something,” Arizona finished quietly.

“Based on your reaction I assume you know the answer?”

But Arizona didn’t reply. She opened the box instead and took out a ship in a bottle.

“Hmm… it’s a ship in a bottle,” Teddy pointed the obvious, “it’s beautiful. She knows you well.”

“It’s a **battle** ship in a bottle,” Arizona corrected quietly, seeming speechless otherwise.

“You mean…?”

“That’s the USS Arizona,” Arizona stated breathlessly. “Our one year anniversary would’ve been in a few days,” she added in a voice that sounded void of all emotions all of a sudden.

“Arizona…” 

“I know.”

They sat quietly for a few moments, simply staring at the note-less gift. Arizona didn’t need words. She knew what Callie wanted to say. Or maybe what Callie didn’t want to say. Arizona realized that maybe just like with their shared apartment Callie didn’t want to have something that she got for Arizona. Maybe Callie wanted Arizona to have one last thing from her. Maybe both.

“I think…” Arizona started slowly but her ringing cell phone cut her off.

She looked at the caller ID.

_Addison?_

“Hello?” She answered right away, not sure why her ex’s best friend would call her. Too fast to even consider the possibilities.

“Arizona?” Addison voice came from the other side of the line. “It’s Callie. We’re at Mayo.”


	23. Chapter 22

Arizona understood logically that Callie was fine and she had nothing to worry about, Addison told her as much. But the thought of her ex lying in a hospital bed, especially after the gift at her doorstep and all the mental probing from all different directions, were more than enough to finally shatter Arizona’s resolve completely.

She got off the elevator on Callie's floor, quickly locating Addison and started walking towards her. A few steps later she experienced a déjà vu to more than two years prior. She was much more hesitant back then but there was nothing that could stop her now except for the thought that Callie might throw something heavy at her face.

“Hey,” Addison offered softly when she saw her, “I told you, you didn’t have to come.”

“Tell me again exactly what happened,” Arizona demanded, good manners completely forgotten.

“Well, we came in yesterday morning for her regular check-up,” Addison started, unknowingly causing a pang of guilt to run through Arizona. She felt like it was supposed to be her job to accompany Callie to a check-up. “They saw something worrisome in the results of one of the tests but because Callie’s wasn’t the only weird result yesterday, they’re thinking it might’ve been an anomaly in one of the machines,” Addison recited almost the same spiel she gave Arizona over the phone the night before. “She needed to retake the tests which meant she also needed to fast again. Out of precaution and since she needed to be here this morning to take the tests again they admitted her last night. We’re now just waiting for the round of results from this morning which should be back any minute really. But Arizona, I’m telling you, she’s fine,” Addison tried to reassure her.

“Maybe, but I’m not,” Arizona smiled sadly and started walking towards Callie’s room.

Addison smirked and took out her phone.

 **Mission accomplished** , she typed and hit send.

 **We’re good** , came the reply from Teddy.   **Even though we’re very bad.**

**That we are on both accounts, my partner in crime. Now it’s up to these two idiots.**

* * *

“You have a lurker,” Alex Karev, another doctor on Callie’s case said to his patient as he came into the room, grabbing the arm of none other than Arizona on his way. “Is she with you?” He demanded.

Callie stared at her ex-girlfriend in complete shock.

“I think so,” she replied tentatively. Arizona’s presence had to mean something but no matter how well Callie knew Arizona, she couldn’t read her face.

“What kind of answer is that?” Karev narrowed his eyes at her broodingly. “You know people can’t just drop by here unannounced, even if they are hot superstars,” he reminded, earning a groan from Arizona.

Her ex’s discomfort made Callie internally satisfied but she was nice enough not to show it.

“Don’t mind him,” she finally said, “he’s harmless. He needs some tough love, something you’re very good at. I think you guys would get along well,” she noted bitterly, telling herself to not let her resolve break even when she saw the pain her comment caused Arizona.

“Err… maybe I should go,” Karev suggested uncomfortably.

“Yeah, maybe you should,” Callie fired at him, crossing her arms.

He looked at the women one last time, shrugged and left the room.

“What are you doing here?” Callie demanded angrily the moment Alex was gone. It was already a crappy day for her. Besides the fact that she was poked and prodded the previous day with the anticipation of another day of such activities, she was also forced to stay at the hospital overnight which is something she never wanted to do again and didn’t have to do once her treatment was over. Callie didn’t know if she had it in her to deal with an ex today.

“For a whole day there was a chance something was wrong with you,” Arizona replied with contempt. “You’re an idiot, you should’ve called me,” She finished with what was a mix of worry and anger.

“No, I shouldn’t have. You made me promise you ages ago to never push you away and then you broke up with me, because **you** are the idiot. I hope you at least recognize the irony in all of this.”

“Stop it, Callie,” Arizona begged, “this isn’t about that and what a monster I am. You knew I’d want to be here,” she scolded, hurt, “you knew I’d be worried like crazy!”

“So let me get this straight,” Callie challenged sarcastically, “I can’t be around you when things get hard, hence you breakup with me, but you are mad at me because you want to be around me when things get hard and we’re not even together? Hypocritical much?”

“So, what?  This was to spite me?” Arizona seemed absolutely miserable.

“No, Arizona, I didn’t call you because you broke up with me, remember?” Callie shot at her. “You didn’t want to be with me anymore, but as you can see I can get into life threatening situations all by myself.”

“Callie,” Arizona started, her voice hoarse with brewing emotions, “there’s nothing I want more in this world than to be with you,” she looked as if Callie’s words evoked actual physical pain. “I just got so, **so** scared. I’m not perfect, either.”

Callie glared at her but said nothing. In all honesty, she didn’t know what to say. She remembered when she told Arizona the same thing. Could she really deny her now?

“Remember what you said when you gave me the dove? About forgiving each other even if we messed up?” Arizona tried to engage Callie, gesturing at the bracelet that she put back on the night before after it was missing for two whole months, haunting her from its resting place in the night stand’s drawer.

“Yeah,” Callie answered weakly.

Arizona sighed. She was hoping for a more elaborated answer, especially since she knew Callie realized what she was aiming at.

“I needed a reminder that I deserve love, too,” Arizona admitted quietly. “A reminder from people who weren’t as involved, I guess. Not as biased.”

“You don’t think you deserve love?” The remark was clearly painful for Callie. As if the mere action of being with Arizona should’ve been enough to make the other woman feel worthy.

“What I think is that anyone I love might get hurt,” Arizona clarified trying to make Callie understand that it wasn’t about anything Callie did wrong.

“It sounds like you’re describing what it’s like to care for a cancer survivor,” Callie smiled sadly.

“But you see that’s exactly it,” Arizona explained in frustration. “I worry about you because of my fans, I worry about you because of the cancer. I worry about you all the time. You’re always gonna be the one in danger and I’m always gonna be the one who worries and that’s just not fair to you,” Arizona confessed brokenly.

“Arizona, I worry about you all the time, too” Callie admitted in sincere sadness.

“Why?” Arizona inquired in surprise. It never even occurred to her that she wasn’t the only one in the relationship with concerns regarding the other one’s safety.

Callie took a deep breath and thought long and hard about her reply.

“Because you’re the love of my life and for me it’s scary enough every time I say goodbye to you and you walk out the door,” she admitted quietly, knowing that there was no point in going around the truth when it was so clear how deeply they both felt for each other. “I mean, I also worry about your crazy fans. Or crazy fans in general. Lennon, Rebecca Schaeffer. You are in a business that attracts obsessive following. And you fly out so often. I always worry that one of these days you’ll get on a plane and…” Callie shook her head, refusing to finish the thought. “My point is – I’m scared about you, too.”

“So, what, we’re supposed to be together and scared all the time?” Arizona scoffed. “It sounds pretty miserable.”

“Everyone is scared all the time, Arizona,” Callie chuckled. “It’s way **better** to be scared together. You may have forgotten because you don’t remember what it’s like to be normal, but this is what it’s like. Sucks, doesn’t it?”

Arizona groaned. It was pointless to argue with Callie. The moment she walked into that room, and even before, she made her choice. That is, if Callie would have her. They locked eyes for a few long moments but no other words were exchanged.

“What?” An irritated Arizona finally cracked.

“Are you actually gonna apologize at some point today or did you only come here for the hot nurses and the good conversation?” She scoffed.

“I have no interest in the hot nurses,” Arizona stated with conviction.

“Then what **do** you have interest in?” Callie inquired innocently.

“I’m here because of you,” Arizona replied without a second thought. She knew she couldn’t just show up and expect everything to fall into place. She knew she had to say the words, show some proofs. “I’m here because I want you back.”

“So maybe you should apologize, then,” Callie didn’t back down. She couldn’t keep letting Arizona in without knowing when would be the next time she might take off. Yes, people are scared all the time but Callie didn’t want to add to that the fear of feeling like the love of her life might up and leave whenever times got tough.

“See, at this point you’ll wonder if I only apologized because you made me or if I actually meant it,” Arizona gave Callie a crooked smile.

“Then maybe you can just tell me if you actually mean it,” Callie deadpanned, she wasn’t in the mood for any more stalling or games. If things didn’t work out, Arizona’s presence was just a painful reminder of what she’d lost.

“I’m so sorry, Calliope,” Arizona said with all the sincerity she could muster, making Callie shudder once she heard her name in a way it hasn’t been said in months. “And I truly, **truly** mean it,” Arizona finished.

Callie was trying to maintain the tough front. She didn’t want to forget and forgive so easily, she couldn’t, but Arizona made it very difficult to not simply give in and ask her to join her in the hospital bed.

“So, what?” Callie finally replied roughly, using the last bits of her resolve. “Every time you go crazy I’m supposed to take you back? We didn’t just have a fight, Arizona, you broke up with me,” she reminded.

“This time is different,” Arizona vowed with a decisive nod.

“How?” Callie demanded.

 “Something within me is different,” Arizona tried to explain. “I can’t explain it, but I absolutely know it. It’s a feeling,” she finished with an adoring smile.

“Well I don’t share it,” Callie stated and looked away, not seeing Arizona’s face fall at the remark. Callie knew that the comment probably hurt her ex but Arizona made her scared. She wanted to forgive her the moment Arizona was pulled into the room by Karev but she knew that wouldn’t make things better between them.

“Tell me what you need?” Arizona finally allowed herself to get closer to the bed.  “I’ll do whatever it takes,” she finished as she reached the bedside and swallowed hard.

“Don’t ever leave again,” Callie warned as she turned to look Arizona in the eye. “You can’t keep saying you’ll stick around and then leave,” she added and Arizona could see the fear on her features. Knowing that she caused that fear broke her heart even further. She was determined to fix it, but she also wanted to make a point.

“And you can’t push me away when it’s cancer related things. I’m not Erica. I’m here, aren’t I?” Arizona smiled cautiously as she put her hand on the tan one which was in Callie’s lap.

“You are here now,” Callie looked away, “what if you leave tomorrow?” she finished quietly, not even bothering to hide her fear anymore.

“Never again, Callie,” Arizona used her finger to make Callie face her once more. “Not **ever** ,” she vowed. “I can’t promise I won’t get scared, but I promise to suck it up and talk to you about it.”

“Promise me you’ll never do this again,” Callie demanded. “I need to hear the actual words. And not like last time when you promised and then you obviously did this again.”

“I promise,” Arizona complied immediately.

“Arizona…”

“Marry me,” Arizona cut her off.

“What?” Callie stared at her dumbfoundedly.

Arizona knew it was more of a demand than a request, but she had to make Callie understand that she was there to stay, that she came into the room intending on staying for good.

“I never wanna go anywhere else ever again,” Arizona admitted as her eyes got teary. She squeezed the hand beneath hers. “I wanna be with you forever. **My** forever. However long that is.”

“Arizona, are you actually doing this now?” Callie took her hand from below Arizona’s and crossed her arms in irritation. “I’m in a hospital bed and I look like crap.”

“You don’t look like crap,” Arizona smiled, quoting herself from their very first meeting, meaning every word.  Callie wasn’t so convinced.

 “Arizona, you can’t just propose to me to make a point, that’s so not romantic and…”

Arizona took a velvet box out of her pocket and opened it right in front of Callie’s face.

“That’s…” Callie started but was too enticed by the item in the box to finish the sentence.

“The ring you stared at practically drooling for a whole fifteen minutes in Madrid, yes. I ordered it a day after we got back home,” Arizona smiled widely.

“But we’d only been together for nine months at that point!” Callie pointed out.

“Doesn’t matter,” Arizona shrugged, all the while still smiling.

“You’ve been planning this for a while…” Callie realized.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you for ages,” Arizona admitted. “The moment I saw you look at that ring I knew I was ready. I was just waiting for the perfect time, just a while longer, and then I almost lost you,” her face fell.

“Well…” Callie started cautiously, “I’m saying a tentative yes. But you better pretend like you don’t know what my answer is and ask me again when I’m not in a hospital bed and look like crap.” She repeated.

“You don’t look like crap,” Arizona rolled her eyes but couldn’t stay annoyed for more than one second when she realized she got an answer.

“Wait, so… yes?” she asked happily.

“A **tentative** yes,” Callie reminded, trying to maintain a serious expression but she couldn’t help the huge smile that broke on her face. “C’mere,” she moved to the edge of the tiny bed, trying to make room for Arizona.

Arizona didn’t need to be told twice as she put the velvet box on the night stand and climbed into the bed as quickly as possible.

They were lying face to face, quickly tangling their legs together.

“I guess there’s something poetic about it,” Callie reasoned. “You proposing in a hospital, I mean.”

“We met at a hospital,” Arizona confirmed, wiping a lock of dark hair away from Callie’s face. “I missed your smell,” she admitted.

“I smell like cancer,” Callie objected.

“You do **not** smell like cancer!” Arizona scolded but couldn’t help laughing. A moment later her laughter died down and she got serious again.

“What are the chances that something is actually wrong with you?” She posed in worry.

“Zero, Arizona, seriously. It was just one weird test which I’ve done again first thing this morning and it came back clean,” Callie reassured.  “I did all the tests all over again just in case but those were fine to begin with so no way the results will come back with a bad outcome. Didn’t Addison tell you I was fine?”

“She did.” Arizona confirmed.

“So?”

“I had to see with my own eyes,” Arizona supplied softly, making Callie mirror her smile.

“Can we finish up here and go home? **Our** home?” Callie asked, hopeful.

“Yes, we can,” Arizona confirmed.

They stayed like that for a few moments, basking in each other’s presence before realization hit Arizona and she couldn’t help but facepalm herself.

“What is it?” Callie questioned in worry.

Arizona turned around to pick the velvet box. She took out the ring and tried to put it on Callie’s finger.

“No no no, missy,” Callie moved her hand away. “When I get a real proposal, you get to do that.”

“But…” Arizona pouted adorably. She didn’t really have a good comeback.

Callie burst into a whole hearted laughter but this time she was the one who was hit with realization mid laugh and stopped abruptly. She stared at Arizona intently.

“What?” Arizona inquired in confusion.

“You thought there was a chance I was sick and you still proposed?” Callie’s face was full of emotion.

“Yes,” Arizona confirmed sweetly.

“Fine, I’ll allow the ring,” Callie’s voice choked. Arizona’s face nearly split with the huge smile that was now adorning it. She didn’t wait before she finally slid the ring on Callie’s finger.

“Can I **please** finally kiss you now?” she begged. “I was trying to be respectful because you were mad, but I mean…”

She didn’t finish the sentence as Callie crashed their lips together, the past couple of months finally evaporated, letting them both come back home.

They didn’t separate for what felt like forever as they got reacquainted with each other’s mouths and when they finally did, both women were completely breathless.

“Cancer and fame,” Callie chuckled, putting her hand on Arizona’s cheek and caressing it with her thumb. “Our life is peachy.”

“This is what we signed up for,” Arizona said and laced their fingers between their bodies, holding so tight, as if she would never let go. She didn’t intend to.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you since forever!” Callie stared at her in disbelief.

Arizona sighed. “I’m an idiot.”

“That’s **also** what I’ve been trying to tell you!”

“I kept running away from you even though I’m not someone who runs,” Arizona allowed them a final moment of reflecting on the past before they started a new chapter. “I’m gonna run towards you from now on, I promise.”

“I know you will,” Callie admitted, leaning in for another tender kiss.

“I really love the ship, Calliope, thank you. I think it’s the best gift I’ve ever received,” Arizona confessed.

“You’re lucky you have a few more days before our actual anniversary to get a really great gift,” Callie said casually.

“Originally I thought I might propose on the day, so…”

“Arizona, that doesn’t count. A proposal is a proposal and an anniversary is an anniversary,” Callie scoffed.

“What are you saying?” Arizona looked at her in confusion.

“I’m saying that you better get me something pretty before next week,” Callie stated the obvious. “Sheesh, do I have to teach you everything?”

“I’m sorry. I know so little. I’ll stick around to learn from your wisdom. Please forgive me?”

“Well, alright,” Callie allowed. “At least you’re here for the makeup sex this time around.” 


	24. Chapter 23 - Epilogue

**_Six Years Later…_ **

 

Arizona smiled at her beloved bottled ship which was placed for years now upon the mantel of their upstate New York home. She survived a long day of meetings and she was especially happy to be home before nightfall.

It was a nice summer evening, the sun hadn’t yet set and there was a hint of a breeze. Arizona walked outside to the porch with two glasses of champagne in her hands and a book held between her arm and body. She flopped on the comfy lounge chair, putting one of the glasses on the table next to her and the book in her lap. She took a sip and enjoyed observing her two favorite girls play with their dog, George.  This was, without a doubt, Arizona’s most favorite activity only to be surpassed by actually taking part in the shenanigans.

She was too tired to drag herself off of the chair and into their huge backyard that would shame a farmhouse, but she was enjoying the view nonetheless.

Callie finally noticed her and smirked when she caught her staring. She grabbed the giggling little girl and turned her to see that they were no longer alone.

They were too far for Arizona to hear what they were saying but she was pretty sure Sofia excitedly called out “Mama!” as she waved happily. Sofia didn’t run towards her, though. She preferred staying with the dog. She always chose the dog. Arizona didn’t hold it against her.

Sofia was born four years prior. Mark volunteered as a sperm donor and though Callie wasn’t too keen on the idea initially, after some convincing from Arizona (and legal papers), Callie **and** Addison were both persuaded. Sofia got a cool uncle out of the deal and Callie and Arizona got to know that the father was handsome, smart and capable. They just waited for the inevitable day in which Sofia would discover beer.

Because Arizona had been in the midst of shooting a very physically demanding sci-fi film at the time, Callie was more than happy to carry their baby, and it wasn't easy. Callie's body has been through so much during her cancer treatments that it took a whole lot of money, a whole lot of probing and a whole lot of luck to get her pregnant, but at the end, they had Sofia.

“That’s me returning you the favor for being in such a good shape,” her wife told her back then referring to the intense workout Arizona had to go through for the role which resulted in a very healthy sex life for the couple.

But now with Sofia turning four, Arizona was more than ready to expand their family again. This time she wasn’t going to pass on carrying no matter what and she was going to tell her wife of five years as much the moment said wife decided Arizona was more entertaining than the dog.

She thought about the day she proposed to Callie. **Really** proposed to Callie. She ordered a blindfolded Callie into their car and when they got out Arizona led her down a path to an apartment building. Someone was holding the door for them, a handsome man with a predatory look.

“Use the elevator this time,” he told her.

“Was that Mark?” Callie demanded in confusion making Arizona glare at Mark who simply smirked. She couldn’t have been upset with him. He helped her organize the whole thing. Nevertheless she took his advice and gently pushed Callie into the elevator.

When they reached their destination she took off the blindfold and Callie could finally see that they were at her old apartment. There were lit candles everywhere, rose petals, and most importantly for later that night – edible paint.

“Arizona, what…?”

“I owe you a non-hospitalish proposal, Calliope,“ Arizona smiled.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Callie gave her a crooked smile. She’d been wearing her engagement ring for a few months now. They acted like an engaged couple and started to plan certain aspects of the wedding. It didn’t occur to her that Arizona took her “tentative engagement” talk to heart. But Callie loved that Arizona did.

“You **do** know what I’m talking about, and I know **you** ,” Arizona declared. “So I wanted something simple, but romantic. The first time I proposed to you we were in a place similar to where we met for the first time,” Arizona explained. “I wanted to do **this** in the place where we met for the first time – the second time. The time that counted.”

“They both count, Arizona,” Callie corrected softly.

“Yes, but this was the time when I didn’t think that you were, you know, dying,” Arizona reminded with a chuckle.

“Right, right.”

“I loved this apartment, Callie. We had many firsts here. Or almost firsts.”

“We did, didn’t we? This place plays an important part in our relationship. It’s perfect,” Callie leaned in to capture Arizona’s lips in a quick yet tender kiss. “How did you even manage to get us in here?”

“I paid the guy who rents it now a not-so-humble sum of money. Threw in a few autographs for his friends, too,” Arizona expounded with a smirk. “Also… I brought sheets, so all bets are off in terms of what happens on that bed later tonight,” Arizona pointed at the bedroom entrance to make her point.

“Oh, you think you’re getting lucky tonight?” Callie challenged.

“I know I am,” Arizona replied confidently.

“Hmm, Arizona, maybe you should start with actually proposing first?” Callie crossed her arms, perfectly shaped eyebrow jumping high.

“Oh, right, oops.”

"Happy Anniversary," Arizona was brought back to the present by a voice accompanied by a shadow on her face. She looked up and saw her wife smiling at her happily.

Arizona returned the smile and handed the other glass of champagne to Callie who managed to lean in and sneak a kiss before she gratefully accepted the offered glass and flopped on a chair next to Arizona’s.

“Callie Torres,” Arizona mimicked a reporter and turned to Callie to ask her a question as if they were in an interview. “Five years of great marriage, with a beautiful daughter, a beautiful home and a smokin’ celebrity wife. What would you say is the secret to your successful marriage?”

“Well,” Callie pretended to consider the question. “The first time my wife saw me in a hospital bed she said nice things to me because she felt bad. The second time she saw me in a hospital bed she said nice things to me to get in my pants. And that’s about it,” Callie concluded and Arizona snorted beside her.

“Well, it worked, so there,” Arizona scoffed, taking a sip from her glass. "I can't believe you never got me a charm for our wedding," she teased, gesturing at her bracelet which now held ten charms of all the **real** big moments in their seven years together.

"I got you a ring, you idiot,” Callie deadpanned.

"Oh, right,” Arizona commented sheepishly.

“Did Teddy ever tell you…” Callie started, “Never mind.”

“What? Tell me.”

“Remember that night we had everyone over for dinner? About a month after we got back from Madrid?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Remember I told Teddy she owed me one for trying to sway you from going to the hospital on that very first day?”

“Mmm.”

“She told me on our wedding day that she and Addison orchestrated the whole test anomaly thing that made you come over to Mayo,” Callie confessed cautiously already seeing the absolutely shocked look on Arizona’s face. “Meredith was on board and everything. Faked the whole thing. Teddy said that we were even because even though she was against you going to the hospital the first time, she was responsible for getting you to the hospital the **second** time. The time which led to our engagement. **Tentative** engagement,” Callie was quick to correct herself.

“Are you serious?” Arizona finally got a word in edgewise. “I’m sort of livid! I was worried to death! Unfortunate choice of words,” she added quickly.

“Any regrets?” Callie gave her a side smile. “We can always re-break up.”

“Well, I think it’s too late for that. Thanks a lot, Teddy!”

“Yes, she sure did ruin our lives, didn’t she?” Callie chuckled.

“I need to call her and thank her, don’t I?”

“Better late than never,” Callie shrugged and leaned back. She noticed the book on Arizona’s lap and smirked."What do you have there?" She pointed at the book with a goofy grin.

"You know what it is, Calliope,” Arizona answered in annoyance.

And Callie did know. It was her very first novel, a New York Times best seller and Arizona's favorite among Callie's works to date, Callie’s very first published short story aside.

Callie smiled at Arizona's sentimental need to occasionally re-visit something of high importance from their first year together.

"I think what I'm working on now will be your **new** favorite," Callie offered coyly.

"What is it about?" Arizona’s face lit up in glee. She loved it when her wife was working on something new. Callie always found a way to plant a hidden gesture for Arizona within the manuscript.

"It's a script," Callie answered in feigned boredom. 

"No!" Arizona’s mouth fell agape.

"Yes,” Callie insisted flatly.

"Fucking finally!" Arizona nearly jumped off the chair as she climbed onto Callie’s to hug her wife.

"Language, Arizona. Sof is right there," Callie scolded, barely audible through Arizona’s hair.

Arizona brought herself up so she could look at Callie.

"Is it for me?" She inquired excitedly, ignoring Callie's scold.

"Who else would it be for?" Callie smiled at her adoringly.

Callie got lost in Arizona’s eyes. It brought back a memory of her very first press tour for the very story that Arizona carried from the house.

“And it doesn’t bother you that the name of your girlfriend possibly helps your sales?” The interviewer rudely asked her that day. She wasn’t going to let it get to her. Arizona taught her how to deal with these assholes.

“Even if it did, it’s not like I could or **would** change it,” she told him flatly. “And secondly, you guys don’t know much about me, but I was terminally sick in the past and came through. Things like ‘why did this good thing happen to me?’ really don’t bother me anymore. If something good happens, I really just take it by the horns,” she explained with conviction in her voice. She meant every word of it. At that point she felt good enough about her writing to not let people like that man put a damper on her success. She was extremely proud to be associated with Arizona and once she managed to get the book out herself she couldn’t care less what people would say. It was **her** achievement and those who needed to know as much, already knew.

"To this day I still can't believe you found a publisher for this one when we were broken up,” Arizona got comfortable next to Callie, bringing her wife back to the present and snuggling closely.

"It was something to do," Callie shrugged.

"Maybe, but I was useless back then,” Arizona remembered sadly.

"Yeah, the garbage donuts, I remember,” Callie teased.

"There were never garbage donuts," Arizona rolled her eyes. "An urban legend by one, Theodora Altman."

"Anyways, it was semi distracting during that shitty time and you know Addison helped."

"I can't believe you let Addison help you,” Arizona shook her head. It was still a sour spot.

"Well, a smart woman once told me it's okay to get help from the people who believe in you,” Callie offered her a soothing smile.

"Yeah but you can get help from your best friend and not your girlfriend?" Arizona countered skeptically.

Callie shrugged.

"She just said she knew a guy and she set a meeting. The rest was on me. How was I to know the guy was the head of Harper and Collins?"

"Callie I knew guys, too. That was the whole point!” Arizona scolded, exasperated. “I mean jeez, what did you think I meant by help? Start my own publishing company just so I can publish your book?"

"You'd totally do that for me," Callie noted, seeming very satisfied with herself.

"I totally would," Arizona admitted after a short pause. “I wanted to buy you new rooms, so what’s a publishing company?”

“I love you,” Callie kissed the top of Arizona’s head.

“I love you, too,” Arizona sighed in content. The declaration reminded her there was something she wanted to discuss with her wife.

“And speaking of love…” she started, making sure she had Callie’s undivided attention aside from keeping a watchful eye over Sofia.  

“Yeah?” Callie turned to look at her.

"I want us to have another baby,” Arizona stated casually.

"When?" Callie replied easily enough. She had no objections whatsoever. As a matter of fact she’d been having similar thoughts.

"Maybe when I'm back from Morocco?"

"Alright, Major,” Callie smiled teasingly now also encouraged by the fact that they were going to have another child.

Arizona glared at her. She was going to shoot a war movie in which she played a Marine Major and Callie never did lose the habit of giving her nicknames based on her roles.

“You always glare at me, but you know what? I think you have secretly loved it all these years,” Callie bit her lip.

“I’m neither confirming nor denying,” Arizona spoke in a sing-song voice.

"We should just come with you,” Callie offered suddenly. “Once Sof hits school age we won't be able to fly out with you as much."

“Then come, or at least for some of the time,” Arizona agreed. “I’d love to have my girls around.”

“And a change in scenery can do good to the writing,” Callie added.

“And I really want you to write that thing you are writing,” Arizona encouraged earning a sweet smile.

“Then it’s a plan,” Callie concluded in a practical voice and pushed herself up and off the chair.

 “Come on, Babe,” she stretched her arm for Arizona to take. “I know you are tired but Sof really missed you today. Twenty minutes of games and we’ll head in, put her to bed and celebrate in an appropriate manner.”

“Go, I’ll join you in a sec,” Arizona squeezed the offered arm. “I wanna read this chapter, it’s my favorite.”

“Okay but don’t take too long. The sun will be setting really soon,” Callie looked up.

“I won’t I promise. I’ll be right there.”

Callie nodded and leaned in to steal a final kiss before she headed back to Sofia and the dog, both whom didn’t even notice she was gone.

Arizona looked at the love of her life, at their daughter and home, and a peaceful smile set on her face. Her life made her so constantly excited about what was still to come that she sometimes forgot that they would never have gotten to where they were if Callie had not “died”.

**THE END**

* * *

**A/N:**

Just a couple of things that we suspected might come up.

1.Mark as their donor: Listen, as far as I’m concerned Sofia couldn’t be Sofia without him. There could be another little girl, and she could even be named Sofia, but it wouldn’t really be Sofia and I wanted them to have her. In this version Arizona and Mark get along really well and I always love that. I also feel like even though Callie and Mark don’t have sexual history in this story, subconsciously it still makes me feel like Arizona totally accepts Callie’s bisexuality. All that aside, they knew the source of Sofia’s gene pool. He was always near by and he **is** good looking and intelligent. So it made total sense to me.

2.That very last line killed us. No pun intended. I wrote it a while ago and I **loved** it. Might be my favorite one in the fic. But it’s a confusing line. I had to play around, I had to add quotation marks, and it annoyed me. For me, from the get go, this whole story happened after Callie’s death. It’s not a real death, but Arizona treated her as dead for a whole year and all of a sudden Callie was resurrected in Arizona’s eyes. That’s why it’s called Post Mortem. It all happens after Callie’s death. In a way, it happens thanks to her death. These extreme circumstances pushed these two together with higher stakes from the get go. So it is only natural that at the very end of this story Arizona thinks “if Callie hadn’t ‘died’ we wouldn’t have been here.” I hope this thought is clear with those damn quotation marks. I really wanted you guys to know that’s what it was about. I feel like it’s really easy to misread it as “they wouldn’t be here if Callie **had** died,” but that’s not what the sentence says and I hope I made it clear as to why.

Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed!


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